Christmas Charity Appeals

It’s that time of fucking year again….”Charidee Season”

“Wacky”,attention-seeking trouts getting their floppy dugs out for some calendar that nobody wants but their family and friends are obliged to buy to spare the auld bitches’ feelings.

Unsolicited Christmas cards for you to buy and inflict on your unfortunate friends…mind,the ones painted by some Raspberry-gang that turned up were worth buying just for the comedy value alone…if I had anyone to send one to,I may well have bought them,as it was I just chucked them straight on the fire.

“Celebrity” songs…tasteless shite produced by some greedy Cunt looking to cash in on his waning career and raise funds for his Operation Yew Tree defence team. ( Has Cliff released his eagerly anticipated single yet?)

TV appeals for fucking bone-idle Sooties,”deprived” obese children,benefits-rich foodbank customers and,for some bizarre reason,snow fucking leopards.

Supermarket scrounging…apparently some supermarket has a scheme where customers are asked if they want to round-up their checkout total to the nearest Pound with the extra going to help the “disadvantaged”…if any check-out biddy has the temerity to ask me,she’ll sharp hear my views on the “disadvantaged”

Cunts selling raffle-tickets to pay for the local children and pensioners to have a Christmas meal….I probably would donate to this if they’d lump both groups into the village hall at the same time…the thought of a bunch of screaming brats battling it out with a load of walking-stick wielding coffin-dodgers is grand… the prospect of the ambulances turning up to cart off a few bruised and traumatised whelps and several “do not resuscitate” old farts would be worth the admission money.

I wouldn’t give the skin off my shite to most charities (I do give something to a couple of local animal charities) and can’t understand why, particularly considering the upcoming financial disaster,anyone would even consider giving to fund the lavish salaries enjoyed by so many charity employees.

They’ll get nowt off me bar a Season’s Greetings “Fuck Off”

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler 

100 thoughts on “Christmas Charity Appeals

    • Correct.

      This year like every year before it, I shall be making my charidee donations to Tesco. In return for booze and fags.

      Helping M’tebe to produce little M’tebe clones like a tribble is definitely off the menu this year.

      Get to fuck M’tebe!!

  1. Charity always starts at our house, me and the misuses have both worked for 40yrs paid our way, kept ourselves healthy, chose to have no kids, and have obeyed the law, what we have worked for is ours, so fuck off you are getting Nowt from us. Just pouring myself a decent single Malt.!!

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