Architects (2)

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(..no, not those kinds of architects. Real ones! – DA)

Architects are cunts.

Builders can simply put up a house. Its easy. Architects think they are clever cunts when in actual fact they are just cunts, getting in the fucking way .

They are also prostitutes despoiling England for the last 80 years with their corrupt schemes.

We think Zimbabwe is corrupt. It has nothing on this country. I know the person who delivered the suitcase (it was that big) for the shard.

Nominated by: Smug cunt 

77 thoughts on “Architects (2)”

  1. ‘“Property Development” is one of the main areas of corrupt money making, Politicians (regardless of party), Civil servants, planners, and architects are all in it together. Nasty, greedy, waste of space CUNTS should be painfully exterminated.

    • I think that’s the best piece of architectural design I’ve seen in years. They ought to have windows just like it in both houses of cunts. Lol. 😂

  2. I liked Richard Rogers’ inside out buildings. The Lloyds building is pretty fab. But he became a bit too closely associated with Blair and his new Labour shit show for my liking, presumably to get the peerage. Still, a clever cunt nonetheless.

    Provincial architects are right cunts and fully deserve Smug’s ire. Usually one trick ponies who fuck up our spaces but get endless repeat business from moronic local authority “regeneration” planners.

  3. The ones on Grand Designs tend to be weird “on the spectrum”-looking Cunts who design uninhabitable houses for idiots who go bust building the monstrosities.

    • Afternoon Fiddler.

      There has been a few like that in London, all glass and steel that looks fucking ugly, squeezed onto a tiny plot that has access issues for getting materials onsite so they are pissing off neighbours from the start and of course costs an absolute fortune.

      I’m sure Fiddler Towers is very tasteful, Gothic Revival is it?

      • I would never be so crass as to put up a picture of my home,LL…besides I’d be worried that a couple of the less savoury contributors to this site may track me down….I will however tease you with a glimpse of it’s magnificence.

        Here I am doing something…fuck only knows what…with some of my chums.

        https://images.app.goo.gl/CWPCNC4ZpTMFSM6B6

      • If that is you in the white t-shirt at the front, it looks like you are being analytical raped by “knobby” the house elf😢

      • It is most certainly not me…I wouldn’t be seen dead in a pair of “George at ASDA” baby-shit tan chinos

      • Also-the bird at the back looks like she is having her tits molested by the invisible man.

        I reckon your house parties must be pretty raunchy 😀

      • Anally, CG: anally. “Analy” looks like a spelling variant of a Celtic given-name to me.

      • No good angling for an invite to one of my exclusive gatherings,General… of course it’s nothing personal,you understand..it’s just that the thought of you attempting to socialise with my class of guest horrifies me.

    • That Grand Designs show is awful. A handful of times there was a decent resto or a new build done with taste but mainly its all brutalist bunkers with concrete worktops in the kitchen. Cunts!

  4. You should come and have a look at one we’ve just built in the centre of Sheffield in the shape of a cheese grater. I shit you not. I keep expecting to see a thirty foot tall killer rat nibbling at it every time I go past it.

  5. I think architect are very talented individuals, I am going to be working with an architect next year…I have some land in Jamaica and I will be designing and building my own house (to then sell on). It’s always been a dream of mine to design and build a house from scratch and it will still be there when I am long gone.
    I may carve something in the stone above the door…’Go fuck yourselves’ or ‘I know naffink abaaaaaht it’ is on the shortlist.

    • Of course there’ll be a sign in the window saying ‘No whitey’s’, dogs, or Romanians’.

    • If you ever want me to check over the drawings B&W, give me a shout.

      I do this for a living and you’re only up the road

    • B&WC, will this “Architect” have to paddle to Jamaica on his own or are you going to wait until he gets to Dover? Those dinghy’s are a bit shite mate and I seriously doubt that the poor bastard could make it all the way to Jamaica if you chose to neglect your employee’s rights. Mind you, it’d be fucking funny if you did!

      • I’ve had many offers from the Dinghy people DC. One guy called Mohamed has offered to design the whole house in exchange for me paying the gangster’s in Calais for his 1st class dinghy ticket…I told him to fuck off.

  6. The new Birmingham Central Library is fucking horrendous!

    Looks like someone has dumped 3 or 4 giant shoeboxes on top of each other, and covered them with 1970s shite wallpaper!

    The architect gets a nice commission, and a couple of awards, but then fucks off to the next project, leaving the locals with a blot on the landscape

    • Wee Jimmy Krankie’s lair at the Scottish Parliament Building is right up there too, it looks a complete mess like student housing.

    • Techno, you mean like that horrendous great big fucking slug? I walked around it once to see if there was a better angle that the designer had envisioned it from in his mind but it was still fucking horrendous, no matter how you saw it! The designer was a minor cunt, whoever allowed it to be built was an enormous cunt!

  7. I nearly moved in Autumn 2018-to a modern steel and glass house with a sea view and loads of woodland.
    Family circumstances dictated us pulling out-I was gutted.
    I would buy land and build my own similar house-but for two reasons:

    -lack of energy
    -pathological disdain for architects and designers-arrogance seems to be the pre-requisite trait.
    Cunts.
    Well cunted 👍

  8. I like it when some fuckwit decides to dig down into the basement of a period house and the fucker collapses!
    Ho! ho!, as happened recently in Londonabad! 🤣

  10. Architecture is a joke. You have to be a royal masochist to be in that field of shit pay, long hours, and designing nothing but Tesco car parks and identakit houses.

    All the ‘starchitects’ (what a cunt!) all sound smug and pull a face like they’ve jammed one of their 50 storey abominations up their cornhole. And if they haven’t they should, the cunts.

  11. The most important thing an architect needs to remember is to avoid copper on flat rooves. The pikeys will have it away in the middle of the night…….guaranteed!

  12. Architects are the artsy fartsy types that come up with an outline scheme design and then expect the builder to fill in the blanks to create ‘Their vision’. Norman Foster is the country’s leading fuckwit in this respect.

    When you question them as to how the hell the pile of crap design they just handed you is meant to be built and maintained, its crickets and they just shrug and then the compromises start. The client gets pissed off and ultimately, the builder gets blamed for pointing out the building won’t look or function as intended.

    Architects are slippery salesmen peddling a dream that defies the laws of physics to a wide eyed client with too much money.

    Don’t even start me on interior designers. They are the ultimate clueless cunts and the bane of my professional career.

    The only reason most of them are employed is because the client will be hanging out the back of at least one of their ‘team’ of professional scatter cushion arrangers.

  13. Talking of architects (the other kind), I see Silverstone have renamed part of the circuit after tax-avoiding, knee-taking bellend Lewis Hamilton.
    And they’ve called it the “Hamilton Straight”!
    I believe they’ve missed a question mark at the end.

    • Excellent Thomas?
      I would have dedicated a “shitcane”, “pitlane” or public toilet after the cunt😀

  14. Good nom, architecture these days is crap and corrupt. All the buildings seem temporary and only put there to please Chinese moneymen or arty-farty eco twats.
    Cudos to admin for preempting the first thing that sprung to mind when seeing this…..

    An old one but fitting ….

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GapUEKYLE1o

  15. Speaking of architecture I hear Silverstone are going to name part of their track “ The Hamilton Straight.”
    Oh the irony. Some cunt is taking the piss surely?

    • Why would anyone choose to live in these shitholes in London?
      I think it must be the proximity to the opera and theatre land.
      😂

      • Bertie, id rather be in prison than have to live in London.
        Its a right shithole isnt it?
        If offered work there I ask a stupid overinflated price just so I dont have to go.
        It depresses me just thinking of it.

      • Evening Mis. Getting away from London, did you know there’s a Christmas edition of Paul and Bob’s Gone Fishing tonight on BBC2 around Bob’s home area on Teeside? You’ll have to record it on catch up.

      • Bertie-that is exactly why thousands of youngsters in the rock n’ roll moved to Brighton-on benefits but with a sea view.

        Sadly it didn’t work out as they hoped-tower blocks full of junkies😢

      • Bob, Vic and Jools Holland has a “Gentleman’s motorcycle club”- they own loads of classic British bikes, between them👍

        Liverpool nearly dropped a bollock at the home of BLM-Burnley.
        Shame😢

      • Strange that General – I could swear I watched Liverpool playing Fulham!
        😅
        Are you sure it wasn’t Arseburn v Leynal?

  17. The late Zaha Mohammad Hadid “designed” some fucking weird stuff.
    Got a damehood for her crap.
    Don’t suppose that the structual engineers who had to sort her monstrosities out got a mention.

  18. My son in law is an architect, when not in work he loafs around the flat, playing fucking Xbox, smoking cheap chavvy cigarettes and wearing a tracksuit, which makes him look unemployed, I hate the cunt with a passion, he needs a damn good sjamboking!!!!

    • I though Architects got paid well, what’s he smoking cheap cigarettes for? Nice to hear abaaaaaht your great relationship with your son in law by the way. 😁

      • I don’t know B&WC, he could afford something much more extravagant but you can’t take the chav out of him at all, but I digress when he leaves the house he looks nothing of the guttersnipe he is at home, a bit like that Eurovision presenter off Father Ted!

      • Modern architecture is shite.
        All glass and steel.
        House that looks like a car showroom.
        And they do daft things, a narrow doorway, and put a radiator behind it so it cant open fully.
        I like stuff made from stone, it looks better as it ages.
        A bit like me.

      • Hi Mis-I agree.
        However, in the “right” location it “works”.
        I looked at one in ancient woodland-the main reception was 3x enourmous floor to ceiling windows, with a view towards the sea.
        I have never been a fan but this one was superb.
        Also the heating was ground and air-source, so utilities were nominal.
        Looks like I will have to keep searching🙂

      • Hi CG, we’ll have to agree to differ on this one mate,
        I abhor modernity in architecture and well, pretty much everything!
        I was looking at a church in Stone, Staffordshire,
        A thousand years old,
        It was stunning, still in good nick, made by master masons (as all churches were)
        Using the best materials you could get.
        To me modern design is cold,
        Like its done by robots.
        I like stone, beams, maybe a bit of wattle & daub.😁

      • If had the money for any property this would be my checklist
        1) has it got its own well?
        2) when was it last thatched?
        3) is it haunted?

      • You must be an expert on country pubs Miserable with all your Peak District walks. You can’t beat the traditional British pub, some of them are older than whole countries, my local is 1649. City boozers are fine because the architecture suits the location but a roaring fire, low beams, no music, no TV does it for me.

      • Totally agree LL.
        Pub we go for sunday dinner (at least before chink Flu)
        Is great,
        Brilliant landlord, great food and ale, amazing views of the peaks, etc
        I love a country pub.
        Like you I dont like tellys in pubs.

  19. You should see what these architect cunts have done to Piccadilly Gardens in Manchester City Centre. Once famed for its wonderful sunken gardens and flower beds, it’s now all flat concrete with a crappy and soulless water feature (i.e: it spurts out of holes in the ground). Absolutely ruined and it makes the dreaded Hulme Crescents look like St Paul’s Cathedral. Manchester City/Abu Dhabi Council are utter cunts. Fuck you, Burnham.

    • Man that’s a dangerous place at night…Pavel drug dealers convention last time I was there.

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