Early Christmas Lights Because of Covid

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Cunts with their Christmas lights up early because of Covid

Long title I know but hear me out. We all know of a cunt who puts their lights up outside their home (plus the odd Santa and reindeer etc) by the end of November but this year loads of cunts seem to be putting theirs up early and according to two bell ends on my street, who already have, it is to cheer people up because of Covid.

Now I am only basing this on two responses but out on my stroll with the duke tonight I have noticed that already on November 17th there are a lot of more cunts with their Christmas lights up earlier than usual.

If this is actually true and people think they can lighten the lockdown gloom by putting up some shit fairy lights then this country is truly fucked. Just open the boozers and the sports and the shops that would be so much better.

Nominated by: Cuntsince1066

71 thoughts on “Early Christmas Lights Because of Covid”

  1. Never fear! Give it a couple more years and the whole Christmas gig will be banned because it might upset some woke/muslim cunts who find Christian celebrations racist/homophobic/sexist/transphobic etc etc.

    No doubt the CoE will cave to the demands of the Woke and will encourage Christmas to be banned, or at least kept behind closed doors.

    Same with Easter!

    Think I’m joking? Just give it 2 or 3 years, and places like Brighton and parts of London will be the first to ban it. And the the stoic walls of the rest of Britain will come tumbling down soon after.

    • That would get my vote. Since I escaped my childhood I just haven’t understood Christmas. It just seems ludicrous that 2,000 years later we are still celebrating the birth of a baby in the middle east. Who grew up to be a liar and a false prophet.

      The whole thing is bonkers. At least the lights make the streets look pretty.

    • Morning Techno, morning all.
      Funny you should say that Techo, I’ve heard a couple of times some talking head on the news that “Christmas is only one many religeous festivals in this country….” or words to that effect, with the implication it is not important really and can be forgotton.
      The slow drip, drip, drip continues to erode OUR culture.

    • Top comment Techno.

      Painfully accurate appraisal of the C of E, who will undoubtedly capitulate at the altar of Woke if there’s enough pressure from the usual hate mob.

      Santa Claus himself is surely on borrowed time as well due to him being old, white, male and heterosexual (presumably)

      His best chance for long term survival in the UK is if he’s maybe reinvented as a Lenny Henry lookalike called Brother Christmas.

      • Hey Herman,

        In many urban areas here in the states Santa is portrayed as black. Red suit…white beard…reindeer sleigh…but black.

        White Lives Matter
        Armed Resistance
        Never Surrender

      • Thats quite fitting General.
        Here Santa is known as Father Christmas.
        A guy who visits once a year after emptying his sack?
        Possibly BAME!😁

      • Good one Mis!

        Any groid exiting “The Villa” with a pillowcase full of loot is going to leave with a load of buckshot in his black ass as well.

        White Lives Matter
        Armed Resistance
        Never Surrender

      • God and Father Christmas are interchangeable. God the son is a swarthy Jew, ergo Father Christmas is BAME.

      • Point of order:Father Christmas is not technically BAME. St Nicholas of Myra had his being in what is now Turkey but was then inhabited by Greek cunts. Not that there’s much difference in skin colour between your average rural Greek in summer and a lightish Pakistani, and he didn’t speak English, which hadn’t really been invented then, so I won’t labour the point.

        OTOH Auld Nick, the Horned One, was and is most definitely BAME.

      • Really!?

        Presumably he kicks the front door down, robs everything, stabs anybody white, and shits on the carpet.

        Then gets back on his pimped up sleigh pulled by some faaarrrrnnn bitches. Towards the end of the night the sleigh is so full he must have to do drive by shootings.

        Hoe, hoe, hoe

        Went to a christmas market in the fatherland once. The book burning was quite picturesque in the snowy moonlight.

      • I can’t wait. Rasta Christmas will come down your chimney & steal your TV, sound system etc.

    • Hey Techno,

      This is a real thing here in the states. The Neo Marxist Progressive Left wants to destroy Western civilization. As in all utopian countries, they think by banning any and all remnants of our traditional heritage they can expedite the process.

      Christmas…Easter…Thanksgiving…Columbus Day…Independence Day…all on the chopping block here in the states.

      Replaced by…the Winter Solstice…The Spring Equinox…Aboriginal Exploitation Day…Indigenous Genocide Day…Slavery Day…

      Marx’s Birthday…St George of Minneapolis Martyrdom Day…The Vegan Feast of St. Greta the Blessed Virgin Day…The 12 Days of Antifa…BLM Riot Day…

      The secular list holidays of PC Holy Days is endless.

      White Lives Matter
      Armed Resistance
      Never Surrender

      • Colombo day sounds good General!
        Crumpled macks and cigars all round?
        One thing I like about yanks is you celebrate your holidays properly!!
        Get into the spirit!
        Not like the po faced, spoilsport fuckers here!!😀😀

      • “Slavery day”. That sounds like fun. Can I have one please? There must be a few underemployed Somalians who would take delight in cleaning my boots after I have given them a good kicking.

    • Right there Techno. National Trust had an egg hunt last year, no sign of the word Easter. Woke Cunts!

  2. Fuck the lockdown! Anyone who changes their Xmas because some politicians tell them to must be some sort of cunt and it will take more than a few pretty lights to cheer the wankers up.
    Looks like the pubs will be closed (they’d love to close them permanently) so get in some extra cans from the P*ki shop.
    Other than that do what you usually do (if you can still afford it) and fuck Hancock and fuck the Jellyfish!

  3. Some of my neighbours put their lights out in the fucking garden on Guy Fawkes night and they light up the night sky ever since – why do the fucking cheapskates only buy those horrible white/cream lights – if they MUST “cheer us up” why not buy coloured lights (sorry, lights of colour) – blues, yellow, orange and purple – these fuckers look like torch bulbs making an effort on a couple of fading C batteries.

    Better still, why not cheer us up with performances from the Westminster Strip Club, with lovely Lisa Nandy’s knockers decorated with illuminated nipple tassels? A show in themselves.

  4. Has the Government given its permission for Christmas decorations? Is there the necessary Statutory Instrument? If so, has it lain in the Table Office for the requisite number of days to allow Hon Members to “pray” against it? We should be told before we do something that will have the police knocking on our doors and slapping us with a £10, 000 fine. I’m not risking it until I know it’s safe. It could kill granny. Fuck off with your baubles.

  5. Left to Piers Morgan Christmas would be cancelled, the ethnics couldn’t celebrate doolali so why should Christians get Christmas according to Piers.

    I thought about cunting him but he’s not worth the effort.

    • I’m sure diwali wasn’t cancelled in India. I don’t think it was around my area, as I was told the cunting fireworks going off near me was probably for that. Noisy cunts.
      Covid is way too weak an illness to wish on Piers, a flesh eating bug would be much less survivabile.

      • Someone should tell that plastic Harsenal cunt Morgan that Blighty is still a C of E country. Besides, Christmas is a the pay off and a reward after the previous 11 months of shit many people in this country have to put up with. And I reckon that most people deserve or need something to cheer them up more than ever. So Piers Moron can fuck right off.

  6. A cul-de-sac in Audenshaw, M34, has had just such an obsession with external Christmas illumination for at least the last quarter century.

    Interestingly newcomers who do not go along with this newish-fangled, invasive and utterly bonkers “tradition” are so ostracised, they (some of them) have moved away as a result.

    I suggest this is indicative of a particularly worrying and dangerous kind of “groupthink” peculiar to our own country. (Although I shouldn’t be surprised if our Cunster cousins can out-do Audenshaw on this modulation of mild mental illness too).

    My own personal suggestion, should this ostentatious display of personal demonry and mental illness suddenly become completely intolerable, would be to acquire a decent pair of Knipex™ electricians’ wire snips (or: side cutters, for the benefit of General Cunster). Start with the outside illuminations, but if necessary cut the 100 Ampère tails from the substation to achieve satisfaction.

    • I like Christmas, always have.
      Not fond of the government though,
      as for trembling an worrying like a timid little bumboy im going to celebrate Christmas just like always, it was never in doubt!
      Real tree, family, ale, whisky,
      Turkey and all the trimmings.
      If I thought for one moment so much as a sprout was missing from my plate because of some mard arse lefty or stinky paki,
      Id go into a unreasonable rage,
      And id take it out on a ethnic type.
      So, lefties if you want to save a paki from being pulled out the canal with a axe in his bonce,
      Hands off Christmas!

      Merry Christmas tiny Tim!👍

      • Most unfair that the Pâkis, most of whom have no interest in nobbling Christmas, have to suffer for the traditional Xmas cancelling agenda of the white woke-ing class.

      • It says in the Quoran “lifes a bitch”.
        They should study their religious texts rather than feel sorry for themselves!
        Fuck em

      • @Mis

        A truly beautiful holiday sentiment. 🎄 😀

        Happy Thanksgiving
        Merry Christmas

  7. Sad cunts the lot of them, what happened to the 12 days of Christmas ? I think abide by it if you want to celebrate, or be shot. For some people it’s not a great time of year and they don’t need reminding by jolly wanker neighbours and chav scum.

  8. The thought of a cunt spending £££s on mile-long strings of Chinese LED’s depresses me sufficiently to offset any hypothetical improvement in mood due to looking at the damn things. The knowledge that I am looking at a child-fuelled pissing contest with the illuminations freak opposite puts the tin lid on it. One of those activities better conducted in private and restricted to the twelve days of Christmas at that. Cunted, no error.

  9. Yeah, for cunts for sure. Typically it’s the same fucking bird in my street who thinks she owns the place; only lived here 5 minutes and was the first with banging pots and and in the street, sticking her kids’ shit 🌈 drawings with ‘keep safe’ in her windows, organised a VE day street party, the list of virtue signalling is endless. Needless to say she’s had her deccys up since last week. One saving grace is she’s amazing eye candy and a regular in the wank bank. Apart from that I want to burn her fucking house down the twee cunt!

    • Instead of complaining why not get clever? Buy her chocolates¹ and chat her up… OR administer chloroform to the boyfriend/husband/lesbian\TS lover & gabapentin/rohypnol/choral hydrate for her (if necessary) and get stuck in

      ¹ along these lines: https://youtu.be/yXzV-Tqu9wo

  11. “I am the light of the world.. also, you can now find me trapped in miles of tatty lighting, manufactured by children and of materials that poison the environment, to satisfy the stupidity of fat chavs, all for £9.95 at Asda!” – Jesus (probably)

  12. Fuck that Xmas shite, it’s been a disappointment to me since 1974, when I was given the Colditz board game instead of the much anticipated Raleigh Chopper.
    Krampusnacht – now that is far more enjoyable.

  13. Fuck Christmas, Fuck Boris, Fuck Hancock and his freeloading chums and let them all burn.

    The best present for me would be to see Boris and all his faux science chums and tit swingers dangling from some piano wire, you could decorate them with light up vaccines and graphs telling dirty lies.

    Merry mother fucking Christmas and have a fucked up New Year.

    • Indeed I concur.
      A delightful early Christmas gift would be a well alight fir tree toppling over and stoving the Prime Ministers head in.
      Lovely that.
      Stick your Tiers up your arse you commie bullshitters.

      • In other pre-festive news a very peaceful carpet rider has stabbed some Swiss shoppers.
        Piss be upon you.

      • At least there will be fewer Christmas markets for the now traditional 7.5 tonne lorry drive-through.

      • 7.5 ton trucks and beheadings will not divide us…

        We must stand strong in the face of high explosives, nutters, guns, knives, sonic electronic and sharp sticks.

      • Very true Spanky, I am asking for an antique narwhal tusk this year for self-protection from the peacefuls.

  14. Dear Father Christmas
    Ive been a good boy this year,
    Much better than I was last year!
    Heres my Christmas list-

    1) a flamethrower
    2) assorted political heads (any party will do, all the same)
    3) some new jackboots
    4) Zyklon B
    5) selection box
    6) that nice frock Harry styles wears
    7) multipack of hand grenades.
    Love Miserable
    Age 50 3/4yrs
    🌲🌲⛄

    • You forgot the rainbow flag MNC, and a signed Owen Jones photo 😂

      My Christmas wish is a mass exodus of the peaceful and dark skinned types.

      • Get your own Christmas List Sicky!
        Besides you’ve not said your prayers and been well behaved like I have.
        You can have my vaccine and a small mince pie.
        That’s all your getting!

  15. Nah, can’t agree. I like to see the Christmas lights as we drive around in The Big Yellow Taxi. Cheers me up a bit as I’m a sad cunt. As for Johnson’s Christmas Directive, he can fuck RIGHT off. I’m not working, this year, first for a long time, and if he thinks I’m not going to have a ball, he’s more of a dull cunt than I thought.

    • DCI, you deserve a proper Christmas, we all do!
      Eat, drink, an be merry!
      I can guarantee the Westminster rats will be!
      And those egghead fuckers in SAGE.
      Sage? Yeah, sage & onion stuffing, get fucked Boris,
      Youve not ‘gifted’us a Christmas,
      We were going to ignore you anyway!!

      • Lady Creampuff is very much looking forward to Christmas round your gaff Miserable! ☺️

      • Good!
        Shes most welcome Ruff,
        Carols,jokes, mince pies,
        She deserves a break once a year, be nice for her to put her feet up and relax!!
        Even wrap a dinner in foil for you!
        Warning you though shell pick up my accent!
        Im infectious 😀

      • You’re not wrong there Miserable.

        Lady C is one of those irksome people who automatically mimics the accent of whichever cunt they’re talking to!

  16. Council estate near me where for years the workshy cunts have OD’d the (made in China) Christmas lighting – fat flying Santas, acres of LED rope, Seven Dwarves tobogganing ect ect. All purportedly for charidee and regularly makes the national telly trivia news. Also every year de local yoot nick and/or vandalise some of the crapola. But not this year, the local Green Council have banned it due to guess what, environmental concerns me dears. Worried they are siphoning off too much leccy from the mains despite all the disfiguring local windfarms.

  17. All the lights on in the world, come January the street is strewn with cardboard boxes and the christmas lights are in cash converters so they have some money for the leccy meter.
    I have a fibre optic christmas tree some young lady gave me and I put up every year as she will drive by, not see it lit up (wanton fkin profligacy) and bollock me for being a Scrooge!

  18. Social Announcement and Society Circular viz Sir Limply Stoke’s Christmas Etiquette.

    Let it be known that Sir Limply will not be sending Christmas cards this year. Contrary to rumours abroad this measure is not in any way due to Sir Limply himself not having received any Crissy cards for the past thirty years and fuck you all.

    • Good policy there Sir Limply,

      I only sent three last year, but have realised I haven’t seen the people I sent them to for years.

      Fuck ‘em. This year I shall be joining you in sending none and spending the money on Mince pies and whisky.

    • That’s shameful, Sir L. This year I shall make up for your friends’ neglect by sending you a copy of my round robin (.pdf, 10Gb) to supply you with every detail of my incredibly interesting existence, every minor triumph, and everything I have bought this year that is bigger and better than what you’ve bought. Oh, and the life stories of my offspring – and theirs – from cradle to university lectureships in nuclear physics, genetics and Woke Studies with BAME.

      That’ll teach you to complain!

  19. Because I worked there when I left school I still have mates at the Post Office depot. They get me loads of 2nd class stamps for nowt. All that’s needed is glue to stick them with. I leave the cards bit to Mrs Norman, but I always make sure she’s got her free stamps.

    And anyone who has an inflatable Father Christmas on the outside wall of their abode is a colossal look at me cunt.

  20. Instead of complaining why not get clever? Buy her chocolates¹ and chat her up… OR administer chloroform to the boyfriend/husband/lesbian\TS lover & gabapentin/rohypnol/choral hydrate for her (if necessary) and get stuck in

    ¹ along these lines: https://youtu.be/yXzV-Tqu9wo

  21. We put some tinsel in the cab of our Bluberlance, last year and some charmless cunt commented about dead babies and not looking good turning up in an ambulance with tinsel on it. Our response was that dead babies are very rare, (seen it, sadly), it cheers a lot of patients up and, if we’re bringing a dead fucking baby out of a house then the last thing the fucking parents are going to be thinking about is the tinsel in the fucking ambulance. Fucking moaning cunt. I hate people.

  22. People who indulge in this early decoration are imbeciles or attention seekers.

    Hoo-ee, what a bunch of cunts.

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