Carol Vorderman [4]

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An “I’ll take one from the top, three from the middle and the rest from the bottom row, please Carol” cunting for this avaricious lady, who keeps going on about the fact that she is 60 next month, and has decided in addition to her money-making opportunities (adverts for life insurance, and “getting equity from your home” if you are over 60 and your kids are daft enough to let you get away with it, shysters who pray on the aged who obsess about money as much as Miss V.

She was, admittedly, back on November 2nd 1982 (38 years who would Have thought it), a handsome lass, very good at figures on Countdown while she flirted with the late Richard Whitely she certainly tickled his fancy, but now, alas, she is mutton dressed as lamb:

https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/1354532/Carol-Vorderman-Twitter-bum-age-2020-Countdown-Halloween-pictures-news-latest-update

She is nowhere near as objectionable as old Mother Dodds, or Granny Rayner, that Soubry creature and countless other personalities, but please leave the sex slapped on thick with a trowel act to the young tarts who “grace” ITV today. You are demeaning yourself Carol. And don’t be so greedy – you can’t take it with you – it would probably melt.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

60 thoughts on “Carol Vorderman [4]”

  1. Have just gone right off my breakfast!

    Only a very old, cantankerous, senile, old pervert would find her anywhere near attractive at this early hour…. or any hour come to that!

      • Nowt better than some geeky church mouse type getting in touch with her own sexuality and turning into a plastic surgery addicted blonde spunk bucket!
        Lovely!
        Massive tits, slaggy clothes,
        She should do a bluey before shes in a old folks home,
        Bet she’s into dogging?
        Money grabbing cunt like,
        But plastic surgery is expensive.
        Get your clit pierced Carol!👍👍

    • ‘Only a very old, cantankerous, senile, old pervert’

      Half the cunts on this site, then.

  2. I still would.

    (We await with some trepidation the views of Dick, Ruff, Cuntstable and other old lags with no class!

    Other than myself and perhaps NA, are there no respectable gents left on this site with even a modest level of taste!? – DA)

    • What about us (relative) young un’s, DA?
      I’m 48 and I’d pound her until her pelvis looked like a dropped Milky Bar.

      (There’s a scene near the end of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” where the face of a Nazi melts into a bloody mush of bone and gristle. One suspects after spending a booze-filled evening with Ms V, you will wake up in the morning to find she has turned into something much much worse – Anneliese Dodds! – DA)

      • Oh no, not the Dodds. I know beer goggles have been responsible for some heinous crimes, but with that screech you would need an ethanol telescope.

      • I’d Ride her like seabiscuit….
        Fuck her brains out…
        Put your ship in her harbour…..
        Leave her looking like a plasterers radio….
        Park your motor in her garage…..
        Give her what she’s been gagging for….
        Make a deposit in her safe….
        She can play my pink oboe anytime….
        I’d like to examine her assets for irregularities….
        She can check my spelling…
        She can feed me her hairy pie…
        I’d share her fish supper….
        I’d polish her melons…
        Rattle her dentures loose…..

    • @DA

      “…no respectable gents left on this site…”

      In the immortal words of Curly Howard:

      “Hey! I resemble that remark!”

  3. Oh I don’t know. She could still pay me “lip service”. And at least she’s not a libtard.

  4. I would crawl over broken bottles to get a ride on Carol and any cunt who wouldn’t is a fucking gay. I reckon her old knees are a bit dodgy carrying around all that tit and arse. Definitely a pearl necklace job.
    Luvvly Jubbly.

  5. I’d smash her back doors in. There’s a lot to learn from the older woman. She hasn’t turned into Katie Price, she just has a good body and looks at a mature age. She hasn’t plastered herself over playboy or done a grumble flick so good luck to her.

  6. Annoying publicity-mad old Hag. I don’t need imagine what those pendulous dugs,massive arse and slack fanny would look and feel like close up…I can just go to the Mart and have a grope as the next pen of Belted Galloway wait to go through the ring.
    I bet you could stick both arms up Carol’s twat and still have room to play an accordion.

    I

  7. I find this money grabbing, weird looking old troglodyte about as attractive as a pile of vomit on the pavement.

    If you wanted to warn people of the effect of to much messing with cosmetic surgury this is your poster boy….

    An ugly rancid old monster who will use her name to flog any old tat….like those dodgy loans that time.

  8. Some excellent ungentlemanly conduct on display.
    I must concur.
    Anal With Carol,a daytime TV smash hit.
    The raddled old cunt.

  9. Shes the type who likes it rough.
    Id give her a STD, black one of her eyes, and rob her purse.
    Shed fall head over heels.
    Betcha.

      • Morning OB,
        Same type, Leslie more into looking like a koi carp whereas Carols all about the tit.
        Suppose she spent years around maths teachers, then tv types who are all homosexuals,
        So first bit of male attention she loved it, now shes cock mad.
        (Allegedly 😁)

      • Morning Miserable.

        I understand that Leslie Ash liked being knocked about a bit.

        Hence the question.

        Personally, I would use Vorderman as a three holed activity centre.

        She’d love a bit of ATM. Betcha! 😁

      • All the time she was chained to the countdown whiteboard, surrounded by eggheads and lesbians, Ms Vorderman dreamed of being roughly manhandled by a bearded Cossack giant.
        Sounds plausible 👍

  11. She looks like one of those girls with learning difficulties, who got taken round the back of the bike shed and fingered every break time.

  13. A quick tally up of the above and I reckon there’s more ISACs who would rather bang the old slapper than hang her.

    I’m in the pro-Vorders camp. Yes, you’d think she’d be too sensible to chase her youth but plastic surgery is addictive and what starts out as a nip here and tuck there soon becomes a facial lobotomy obsession.

    I think she’s one of the lads, well up for a bukkake party even, and those massive bangers sure need a lot of glazing. I’ll go first!

  14. She used to quite fit but always had that look of someone who was destined to expand and melt.

    I doubt that Clooney would fancy it now.

  16. I’d have her slide down the greasy pole of my depravity any day of the week.
    There’s a candidate for titty wanking right there.
    Gertcha.

    • I’d like to see a picture of her tits splattered with spunk, taken forty years ago. Nothing wrong with that.

  17. Maths genius Carol Vorderman hasn’t worked out you can’t fit a size 16 arse into a size 12 dress.
    Still would though.

  18. I’d give her one…out of ten.
    She’s so full of plastic I might as well fuck a barbie doll.
    Money grabbing old whore.

  19. If the eminent Mr Boggs is cunting greed, I am in full agreement. It is not a good look. Ms Vorderman is otherwise delectable. What really fucks me right off it the way the ads for wasting equity, pre-paying for your coffin and leaving a bit to your kids seem to be the domain of whitey actors and actresses, and has been celebs looking for a last gig. This all plays into the wider media trope that all white people are pro Brexit wrinklies who are about to peg it. Cunts.

  20. A shame really. Carol was intelligent and sexy in her 80s and early 90s Countdown days. I certainly would have given her one back then.

    But, as the saying goes, absolute power corrupts absolutely. She got a bit of fame and it ruined her. Fucked her looks up, got a pair of plastic tits, signed up for all kinds of vacuous celebrity shit and tabloid fodder, and – it has to be said – she became a bit of a slapper and all. From that rarest of things – an attractive and intelligent woman on British television – to just another fibreglass filled celebrity slag and media whore. Perfect for that Loose Women shite, but not for anything else.

  21. And that dyed blonde hair makes her look like an old slag. Like one of Del Boy’s trollops in Only Cunts & Horses.

  24. Oh god , I’d do anything to fuck old carol I bet she’s a right fucking goer , and I bet she takes it up the arse as well , and she wouldn’t have to be asked

  26. I’d certainly empty the tanks over Vorderman, she’ have to keep her gob shut though! Lovely big tits! Recon her successor blows her away though, I’d crawl over hot coals and broken glass just to suck the cock of the last man that shagged Racheal.

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