52 thoughts on “Nick Ferrari (3)”

  1. Trick or treat is fucking bollocks, didn’t happen in my day busy building a burning fires in the woods. Wrapped small onions some years ago for the few little demons that knocked on the door.. Fuck em..

      • Tut tut RTC.

        You need to get into the spirit of this imported American bullshit.

        Give the little darlings a handfull of sugar free gummi bears.

        Read the reviews on Amazon. They will crack you up. 😁

      • I find I have to be a bit more inventive these days and wrap pellets of sheep poo. Chocolate covered raisins and nuts are sold these days which look like the real thing. This allays any fears they might have when they bite into them, expecting a raisin or nut inside. Besides,I’m probably doing them a favour and avoiding any chance of an allergic reaction to nuts.

  2. Probably is when you live in a well-to-do area with darling honkey children. Probably not if you live in the Bronx, Tower Hamlets, a council estate in Liverpool, or in a gypsy nest.

  3. Nick Ferrari goes trick or treating?
    The greedy fat cunt!
    Money hes on should buy his own sweeties.
    Ive got a tin of Quality Street and a tin of Roses for any kids knocking on tonight,
    But any tv presenters can fuck off.

  4. I keep a bucket of ready-to-throw cold piss behind the door in the hope that one of the benefit-sponging,tubby,ill-disciplined,screeching.greedy little brats knocks on my door…I keep a bucket of Guinness-skitter for the (should know better) parents.

    The smell is pretty appalling tbh but it’s a sacrifice that I’m willing to make.

    • PS…TV ads with kids in are particularly annoying….either uppity mini-Sooties or pasty-faced stage-school brats.

      The families should have all benefits stopped and be thoroughly ashamed of themselves and their whelps.

      • It’s taking it’s time…seems to come back after about half an hour of walking but stops as soon as I lay down flat….had to knock the painkillers back…couldn’t stay awake and gave me the shits too.
        Cheers,DCI

      • Pain killers should bung you up, well, certain ones. I suggest bothering your GP if it’s still there, Dick. My money’s on the sciatic nerve.

    • You sound like a burglar I knew who was in prison at the time I met him. Mr Fiddler. Everyone called him “Gummy” because he had false teeth. I called him “George Formby”; not only was his voice indistinguishable from the ukulelist but he was also a bit of a miserable bastard. [See the aside below by way of explanation.]

      One day, Formby/Gummy staged a “dirty protest” at a screw called Kelly, who was new to the Prison Service. She was a youngish “chick” from Bootle with an unfortunate face, and was extremely unpopular with the lads because of her shrill screeching voice – and her perceived lack of empathy. George Formby had been keeping his shit and piss for around a fortnight, sealed in empty plastic marmalade tubs in his pad. He’d acquired the tubs for the purpose (he worked in the kitchens).

      One Sunday, around 3.45pm, just before bang-up, Formby decided to attack. He decanted the collected partially-fermenting excreta into a large grey plastic rubbish bin and tipped the lot over Kelly, who was manning the screws’ podium and screaming her orders at the time. There was around 25 litres of shit and piss and bog roll in total.

      All hell broke loose, huge cheers and hijinx… and the wing was quickly overrun by 30-odd Muftis in riot gear. .All in all, a most memorable Sunday. Formby himself was “disappeared”. A little bird told me he’d been shipped out to HMP Gartree and thence on to dispersal at Full Sutton. Very unwise, as the career burglar was less than a year into a three stretch and the prison where we were was actually OK.

      Kelly resigned from the service around a month later.

      [An aside for any fans: “George Formby”, the famous window cleaning entertainer, was literally-speaking a bastard. When George Hoy Booth (aka George Formby, Junior) was born, his father James Lawlor Booth (aka George Formby Senior) was still married to his first wife, Martha Maria Salter. Formby Senior’s second “marriage” to the ukulelist’s babymother was therefore bigamous – ergo good old George Formby was, in fact, a bastard]

  5. This Ferrari looks neither speedy nor sporty but would make a great Halloween lantern when hollowed out. Fat cunt, fat cunt! Who’s a fat cunt? Ner, ner, ne ner ner!
    Happy Halloween Rough one.

  6. Is it a trick of the camera lens or does this cunt need to treat himself to a gastric band?

  7. You wont get many trick or treaters will you Dick?
    Bit off the beaten path?
    I get a few, dont mind them tbh,
    We have a big stone gargoyle under the porch at the front door and that attracts them,
    And they think im in character as Lurch when I answer the door.🙂

    • Never had any for years Miserable…but myself,the Hounds and our buckets of cold piss live in hope.

  9. Halloween is shite now, it was good when I was a kid, we threw stones at the cunt neighbours house’s we didn’t like. I’ve had to tighten my belt during these uncertain times and refuse to spend a paaahnd on a bag of sweets to hand aaaaht…instead when they knock the door they are treated to the site of me tonguing Olga’s bumhole.
    That scares them away, although a couple of milf type Mother’s pretended to be outraged and hung around hoping to get some of the good stuff once they realised what a dashing man I am.

      • Trick or treat is not de rigour down in deepest darkest Cornwall. Tis a bit of a problem when little Johnny etc al knock on old Dennis Penberthy’s door to find the six fingered cunt wearing his Halloween human skin face mask…and it’s fucking real. 👺

  10. I cannot agree with cunting Nick Ferrari…he’s seems the only right/centre right presenter on LBC these days and let’s not forget it was him who exposed the Flabbots math’s issues.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  11. I always worry under the masks they might not be children Dick.
    Midgets are known for being freeloading little cunts!
    And once was proved right when under the ‘Yoda’ mask was none other than wicked midget Warwick Davies!
    The akita dealt with him,
    He can certainly move when motivated.

    • You can tell by picking them up by the ankles and bouncing their heads off the floor…the Warwick Davis type tend to squawk for longer due to their oversized skulls being extra thick…that is why it is perfectly acceptable to use them as bowling-balls down the Tesco aisles .

  12. Good nomination Mr RTC always a matter for discussion and debate among the neighbours.

    Personally, I don’t mind the nippers as long as they are accompanied by a responsible adult. Anything that gets them out in this current Covid shitshow is to be welcomed. At least they won’t be hiding behind the fucking sofa in case they catch lurgy. It is pissing down here at the moment so if they risk getting soaked for a few sweeties they are welcome.

    However, what really fucks me right off is when some cunt in the media tells me that ‘Unfortunately Halloween is cancelled due to the special circumstances.’ Firstly you cannot cancel Halloween you fuckwitted wankers. It is a date in the calendar with ancient meaning. Secondly there are no special circumstances just a fucking cold virus. Kids have snot pouring from them at all times so no special circumstance for them anyway.

    The same media cunts are already saying ‘Christmas could be cancelled.’ No it won’t be. Just go fuck yourselves you masochistic killjoy cunts..

    • Fully agree Twenty.

      If Doris went on the idiot lantern and told the non questioning fuckwits to not only “cancel” Christmas and Halloween but to actually sexually molest their children to help control the virus, I am convinced quite a number of cunts would.
      Seriously.

  13. Ferrari is the right wing equivalent of O’Shithead, can’t stand the cunt. He’s one of those cunts who thinks he’s funny when he is definitely not, oozes false sincerity, never finishes words and sentences and always going on about his old school. Just like O’Shithead in fact. When I see his fat arrogant face on the telly i’m switching off. Can’t abide the cunt.
    As for the Halloween shit it may be a bit of fun round his way but round here it’s demanding money with menaces. I’d like to see some politicians’ kids knocking on doors in Bethnal Green and Tower Hamlets, see how the peacefuls react to little cunts dressed as the devil. That would be interesting. Very interesting.

  14. Agree entirely Twenty,

    Cancelled? Fuck off.
    This Christmas im going to enjoy myself, eat drink and be merry no matter what some pale stuttering turd in Downing street says.

    • “Eat, Drink and make Merry” (Ecclesiasticles.) The Bible approves of such celebrations MNC, go with god’s blessing and drink your fill ( I will too )

      • Thanks Father👍
        I take my religious duties very seriously and will be quaffing ale and eating mince pies under the tree.
        Hope youll be leading us in a carol service?
        Me, Fiddler, an BWC sing like angels!
        Slighty tarnished angels, but angels none the less😁

      • I don’t think Fiddler does carol singing Miserable, the last lot to darken his door are now harvesting his orchards and living in a caravan in the top field.

    • Make sure you are not watching the wrong channel on TV at 4.00pm, MNC, The “pale stuttering turd” will be speaking to the nation. Not satisfied with weekday shit dispensing, he is now fucking up our weekends too.

  15. I have hung some masks around the door and instructed Ethel to cough generously, over any brats that have the gall to knock on our door.
    Scrounging cunts.
    Get To Fuck.

  16. I hate it, because you are expected to join in, and are labelled a miserable cunt ( I am, don’t need reminding though).
    Perhaps I will join in this year if the little cunts bang the door. I have no treats, other than alcohol and they’re not having that, so it will have to be trick, and the only one I know that is both funny and informative is the white eared elephant, where you pull out your empty pocket liners, and pull your cock out the fly.
    I suppose Halloween was one of those rare occasions that a young Rashford got a free meal, a couple of quality street and a penguin was probably a hearty dinner back then.

  18. Pope Gregory the 3rd is responsible for “Halloween”, but I’m not so sure he had “trick or treat ” in mind when he did so.
    Another creation of those who seek profit within the Temple.

      • Definitely RTC, a “killing” if you pardon the expression. ( 580 Billion I believe, but that is just a whisper at vespers.)

    • Not got a costume Sicky?
      Just use a old bedsheet go as a ghostie!
      I of course have entered into the spirit of it with gusto!!
      Full special effects werewolf costume hired from Pinewood studios.
      Theyll love it when I swing by sunny acre retirement home!👹

      • I live in hope that some hot 18 years old bit of pussy will knock on my door dressed in scanty undies with see through negligee asking for a treat 😂

  20. These scrounging trick or treat shitehawks are cunts at the best of times. But any moronic mong (usually stupid wimmin) who lets their brats do this cadging ritual during the virus crisis should be arrested on the spot.

    As for Nick Ferrari? Encouraging these cunts to go on the scrounge and knock on peoples’ doors as a second lockdown is imminent? What an irresponsible thoughtless cunt he is. Also, I would say he wants to lay off the treats and cut down on the lollipops. The fat fuck.

  21. The next game at Old Trafford should be interesting. I can see it now…

    The teams go down on one knee and raise their fists in salute for known armed criminal, woman abuser and druggie waster, Saint Chicken Floyd George. Even though the cunt copped it months ago.

    Oh…. And 30 seconds applause for true United great, the late Nobby Stiles who died this week (if we must). Saint Mother Rashford has a puzzled look on his face. Jesse Lingard is still ‘grieving’ for Caroline Flack Of Arc. While Paul Pogba says ‘Who is Nobby Stiles?’

    Cunts!

  22. I’m putting a large photo of Guy ‘Mr Pumpkin Head’ Verhofstadt in my front window for Haloween. If that doesn’t scare away unwanted callers nothing will.

  23. Trick or treat is a load of American crap anyway. Like the school prom and potato chips that aren’t crisps. Any daft cunt who spends a fortune on Halloween costumes and the like for their idiot offspring when Christmas is imminent are complete and utter bellends with more money than sense. As I say, usually modern parents and daft wimmin.

    And as for silly fuckers who put up ‘Halloween decorations’ and plaster their windows with tacky shite like plastic ghosts. pumpkin stickers and cobwebs? They are also cunts of the highest order.

  24. Trick or treat?
    American nonsense and I seriously doubt filling the local 8 year old waddling pigs up with a ton of sugar and shite would be wise or even safe – one stomach upset and passers by could be covered in guts and chocolate from exploding gassy bloaters!
    And I turn the lights off to avoid children knocking on the door and annoying me – top money saving tip from the Fox Lewis money saving show! 👍😃

  25. When I was a kid Halloween wasn’t that big a thing and if there was a disco or whatever there would be be simple costumes like a witch, a ghost, or Dracula.

    Now kids are dressed as serial killers and rotting zombies, or have costumes covered in fake blood with plastic wounds on their heads and also satanic shite like inverted crosses and pentagrams.

    Vulgar americanised schlock and total shite. Like most of modern Britain, it lacks style and class.

  26. Time for yet another unpopular opinion:

    Of course I am an American and so of course I enjoy Halloween. I put up some decorations at “the Villa” and have plenty of good candy for the little rug rats…as well as no sugar candy and other treats for those who can’t have sugar. and I make a big deal over their costumes. However, as “the Villa” is in the wilds of rural Alabama I don’t get many Trick or Treaters so I eat most of the candy myself.

    I also have a library of “classic” monster films from both Universal and Hammer studios and I have a marathon showing every Halloween night.

    I have fond memories of Halloween from my childhood. It was a different time back then. But I remember the grumpy old cunts who hated us kids and the holiday. I would like the kids of today to grow up with fond memories. too.

    It’s probably a futile gesture, but maybe if they do, they won’t grow up to me grumpy old cunts like most of you.

    Scrooge has got nothing on you lot. Bunch of miserable grumpy old cunts! Boo to you!

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