Pretentious name for a victim cunt.
Mark D’arcy-Smith was having a drink with a friend (Weatherspoons in Bromley, South East London – NA) when another customer used the pub’s ordering app to send a banana to his table.
Louie Kincella, 20, was found guilty this week and ordered to pay £1,280 in fines and court costs.
“It’s been stressing me out in the last year that the investigation would not go as far as I hoped.” Mark tells us.
“In the court I was with my dad and we both felt this massive weight lifted off our shoulders.
“It must have been the first time in ages that I got a good night’s sleep.”
A banana caused this trauma for the soppy cunt. He should have a word with John Barnes or any number of other black footballers who put up with this shit regularly. Even when playing for England.
When I first worked in England a blow up sheep was taped to my locker. I just put it down to Manc cunts who knew no better. Though the cunts had punctured it making it useless for ‘home comforts’ which was slightly traumatising.
Fined £1,280 for a moronic joke? We have lost all sense of proportion on the altar of cultural sensitivity. And Mr D’Arsehole- Smith is a cunt. The cunt.
(The crime was a “racially aggravated public order offence”. Apparently. Police described the search for the anonymous banana sender as “a painstaking investigation”. Good to know where their priorities lie in deepest Londonistababab. – Night Admin)
Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
Instead of getting all upset, perhaps the smartest thing to have done was to eat the banana with an over the top level of enjoyment. Just me?
26
Actually he should have called the peelers
10
I bet the cunt was only offended because he didn’t know how to peel it.
25
Its a pity Louie Kincella didn’t work for the BBC and use the ‘Sophie Duker Defence’
If he had known the trouble a single banana caused I bet he wished he had sent a massive fruit bowl now.
11
If the melanin enhanced little cunt had a mental breakdown over a banana imagine his empty head caving in when next time someone sends him a watermelon.
I wonder if the “painstaking” investigation began at a banana plantation in Africa?
11
“A blow up sheep was taped to your locker“ you say Cunstable?
My Welsh grandad had to put up with this constant joking from the English when living in Cheshire.
This lasted for many years until at the age of 80 it was a blessed relief when he died peacefully in his sheep.
26
Poor Darky Smith.
A banana, how hurtful.
When theyd talked him down from the lightfittings hope they apologised?
15
Moderation, heavy sigh…
4
All this over a banana Miserable, I’m shitting myself and franticly trying to cancel the huge watermelon wrapped in a red bow I have sent David Lammy.
10
I sent him a bag of blackjacks as well as a box of monkey nuts with a rat trap hidden at the bottom.
But hes got a good sense of humour, can take a joke Dave, sure his hearty deep laugh will ring out,
“Dat Miserable he a crazy man, hehee, …”
🙈🙉🙊
12
Hey if you sent fried chiggun with it you ll more than likely get the bastard to have heart attack
Probaly
5
I will do AF,
He likes that new powered glass seasoning right?😀
5
It’s a shame a white phosphorus grenade couldn’t have been ordered.
16
I guess it’s another case of a “victim” and a judge attributing motive to somebody’s actions. The guy comes off as a fucking wet lettuce fairy boy so maybe the implication was “here you go you faggot, something for your arse”.
11
Id have just ordered a white cream puff and ate it in front of the twat along with the banana. Only a millennial cockwomble of any melanin level would have not been able to cope. What a soy boy cunt.
12
These modern day Mills & Boons are such think skinned cunts. Utter softarses.
I remember Paul Parker when he played for QPR. It was a game at Old Trafford and the crowd shouted ‘Trigger! Trigger Trigger! Shoot that n!gger! Which fucking n!gger? That fucking n!gger!’
Parker turned to the United end and made a mock gun out of his fingers and put it to his head, pretending to shoot himself. I like someone who gives as good as they get, which Parker did. But today, soft fuckers go blabbing to the law and on social media about anything like fucking fairies. Calling the police over a banana is ludicrous enough. But the police actually investigating the ‘crime’? The United Kingdom is fucked and London is finished.
16
In the meantime as this was sll ongoing and officers etc were re directed to other matters i wonder how coppers themself must have been pissing themselfs laughing/some have to go out and do a dawn raid /others have warrants to serve etc/what case you been assigned to?oh i got the kjd who complained sbout a fucking banana ffs
15
I’m sure they’d have remained professional throughout! As much as we do when sent to the old ‘I accidently sat on it and it went so far up my arse I can’t pull it out’ call. (Too far up and they’re in big trouble!).
11
They don’t tell you about the dicks in hoovers or foreign objects up arseholes when training then DCI!
9
Best one my missus told me of when she worked a stint in A&E as a trainee doctor was an old boy who came in – Faaaaarrmmer.
Well the old cunt had managed to wedge a large, rusty nut (tractor hub?) on his old Bob Mellish and the fucking thing had cut a thread into his knob so the whole affair had become rather red, bloody and swollen.
They managed to cool his knob down and it shrunk sufficiently for the nut to come off.
Not quite in the same league as a guinea pig in the derriere, but a chuckle all the same.
13
Donkey’s years ago, when I got my first full time job, a female colleague told us some stories about when she worked for the ambulance service.
One of the most grimace inducing was the story she told about a bloke who’d been brought in with a stiletto heel up his jacksy. His bird had pushed it in during what passed in their house for foreplay, and it had penetrated the lining so he couldn’t get it out without tearing himself a new one.
Couldn’t the daft cunts have used a butt plug?
5
You promised Fiddler you wouldn’t say anything!!😀
6
Professional? If I was on duty it’d be like Derek and Clive “larf? We nearly shat”
3
Yes notebook in hand ‘What has happened?’ ‘I was sitting there minding my own business officer when a waiter came up with a banana on a plate’. ‘Yes?’ ‘I simply couldn’t understand it I hadn’t ordered a banana’. ‘Where is the banana now? ‘I don’t know but I have taken a photograph of it on my phone’.’Are you sure that was the banana you were served’ ‘Yes, that was the banana’. ‘From which direction did the banana come from?’ ‘It was brought over from the bar’. ‘Can you identify the waiter that brought it you?’ Yes, it was him’ ‘Did you serve this gentleman a banana?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Did you supply the serviette? ‘Yes, of course we always provide a serviette?’ ‘Do you serve many single bananas?’ ‘No’ ‘Could I speak to the manager?’ ‘This man has been served a banana, where has it come from?’ The Carrabean probably’ ‘Not the origin of the banana, how has it arrived at his table? ‘It must have been ordered by someone else’ ‘Now were getting to the bottom of it’.
12
Another cunt in a long line of cunts.
6
Mark D’Arcy – wasn’t he the cunt in Bridget Jones?
10
No but he was in junglebook.
12
Oh, he’s the king of the whingers
A jungle refugee
He likes to drink in spoons
With the other c.oons
But no nana’s for his tea
He likes Taste of our coffee
He likes the taste of our tea
But just you dare to put a nana there
He’ll have the coppers after thee
Oh oo-oo-oooo
He wants to be like you-oo-oo
He wants to walk like you
Talk like you
Drinks in spoons
O-oo-oo be do
Oh oo-oo-oooo
He wants to be like you-oo-oo
He wants to sleep at night
Without fear or fright
Without a baby light
Oo-oo-be-do
Oo-oo-ooo
He wants to be like you-oo-ooo
No nana’s he’ll take
They keep him awake
Oh-for-fucks-sake
Oh oo-oo-be dooo
🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵
46
Lmfao at that !
4
Looks like Dwayne Dibbley from Red Dwarf.
https://i.redd.it/sri2d713emoy.jpg
6
At last, a Dark Key that really does look like an aspiring architect 😂😂😂
8
The stupid cunt was lucky to get off with a fine, even an over the top eye watering amount like that. Remember ham sandwich guy? His jolly jape cost him his freedom, and his life, as he died in jail, from what? Never found out. Around the time the sandwich guy was sent down, there was a Muslim guy who was arrested for spitting in a babies face. He was walking down the street when he encountered a woman with child in a pushchair. He started calling her white bitch and spat in the kids face, who then had to have Hep. C inoculation and a six month wait for the all clear. It wasn’t the dirty wankers first offence either, the filthy cunt (anyone who spits in anyone’s face is a dirty cunt, but a baby?) had done something similar in the past, and yet all he had was community service order.
Two cases, both motivated by ‘hate’ but where one that was a silly symbolic nonsense incident that hurt feelings at most, and was ended up in a custodial sentence, yet the one that caused real tangible hurt and fear was dealt with a slap on the wrist.
Banana guy is a fucking idiot, firstly for the banana thing, but for thinking he would get away with it. And never mind the court case, I bet he is getting death threats on social media and more.
You have to remember, it’s not the mouth it comes out of, it’s the mind it goes into that counts.
12
You can order a banana in Spoons? Well you learn something new everyday. As for this Arsey-Smith cunt…..what a fucking pussy!
“stressing me out”
“first good night’s sleep i’ve had in ages”.
Oh get over yourself you mincing little gayboy. You should have stuck the banana up your arse instead of the diseased cocks that usually occupy that space.
13
Its the golden gift of victimhood that just keeps giving.
This is the tenet of BLM – black fucking Jessie’s sensibilities matter and what £££££ compo am I gonna get?
Some people play right into the hands of these ‘victims’.
8
One banana, two banana, three banana, four
Wetherspoons banana, lying on the floor
Five banana, six banana, seven banana, eight
White man sending nana’s is an act of hate
Bromley coppers find you, take you Like a thief
Black man can sleep at night it’s such a big relief
Na na na, na na na na, na na na, na na na na
🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌
35
Fucking hell! Trying to help someone with their “Five a day” and you get fined by the fairy Nazi’s.
11
A black snowflake. Probably a close personal friend of David Lammy
9
Its a wonder lammy didnt intervene in the matter on his behalf blaming evil whitey/talking some load of bollocks /i wonder what the viewpoint on the matter is at fyffe headquarters
3
I refer to them as coaldust. As the snowflake melts away with a ray of sun the coaldust scatters with a puff of wind.
Of course it flares up, fizzles out and leaves behind a sulfur smell if you put a match to it but that’s probably, racially, insensitive and inflammatory on my part.
5
Hey General,
Whats your opinion of the Proud Boys?
As a observer from the UK they seem like a thin line of patriotism standing against the madness!
1
Hey MNC,
I’m not a Proud Boy and I don’t know any Proud Boys. With that said, I support them, their aims, goals and values.
Forget about what you hear from the Press and the Deep State. They are (in my view) simply a group of men* who value traditional Western Culture and are willing to fight for it. They oppose everything the Leftwaffe values and are willing to use violence to combat violence.
(*While their name implies a “fraternal” organization they have a women’s auxiliary known as Proud Boys’ Girls.)
5
D’Arcy didn’t really think about this. Laugh at the banana and instead have a go at Weatherspoons (much deeper pockets) because the banana was accompanied not only with a serviette but a also a “silvery spoon” which was clearly and obviously intended as a racist slur.
He’s a twat. But the police are even bigger twats for wasting time on what was just a stupid prank.
7
By the light of the silvery spoon. Another of the tunes to be used in the Lammy Black & White Minstrel Show – all part of the BBC Black History Month celebrations. They’d walk a million miles for one of his smiles, our Lammy.
3
Fruit based hate crime, whatever next.
The banana has become a symbol of hate, does it mean a black can never eat a banana 😂
4
I dont like kiwi fruits.👎
4
Haha. Very subtle.
3
Ask that old coffin dodger attenborough whats hes observed.
1
I read about this last week I think it was. What a fucking drama. And what a drama queen Mrs Mark D’Arcy-Smith is the fucking sissy. “I immediately felt threatened and started shaking uncontrollably). He looks the sort to take said banana home and insert into his rectum once back then cry foul. His uncontrollable shaking was due to his prostate massage more likely. He should follow Mr.T’s advice and get some nuts. The joke was genius and funny I thought but then I’m a racist cunt. Did it warrant such an investigation by our decreasingly respected filth, and the subsequent fine?. Did it fuck.
“The black man will have the whip hand over the white man”
10
Evening ESC,
Agree Re the police.
This is a waste of time and resources, as hate crimes go, you cant get much milder, can you?
Shows where their priorities lie, enforcing the woke agenda rather than fighting crime.
As jokes go its not that funny but even less funny is the complete over reaction.
6
Evening Miserable.
What I find amusing is what white teenagers in the 70’s & 80’s found amusing. Not great I guess considering, but I am how I am and don’t get gaslighted easily. I’ll admit that when I saw the mug of the mug who almost pulled it off I would easily boot his face a football for looking like a right chav cunt himself. A manager at the shit in box emporium Maccy D’s I believe. Say no more. Dizzying times.
1
You know my colour (brown), but you also know my creed (‘a set of beliefs or aims which guide someone’s actions’). I am a proud Brit. I’ve also lost my train of thought. Ah yes, a knee grow called D’Arcy Brown complaining about racism. I get his point about what happened and the cunt who did it got his comuppance. Job done. The complainant isn’t called Smith or Jones. Has he had a thought about his surname at all and used Ancestry.com to research it? I’m cunted by the way.
7
Evening DKC!
You well?
Thatd been me, say I was black, and theyd had a banana sent over to wind me up?
Id of peeled it, had it hang out of my flies like a big white dick, and walked round the pub asking people if they liked banana.
Turned it round!
Wouldnt of got the coppers in or cried!😀😀
3
Excellent Mis. I’d pay to see that!
1
Don’t think much of umbongo but I can make use of that banana.
2
You can always use the Umbongo to wash out the banana pulp.
1
Short of stealing the fruit charities leave out for dossers (always savagely under ripe – have tried it) how can I get a free banana? All I get free is dodgy porn. Leave me blutooth connection on when I venture out and my goodness it does come in. Gay porn, brass porn and the amazing three fat ladies.
3
Plod: It is against the leu for you to ply your bananas.
Spoons: Leu?
Plod: What?
Spoons: You say, it’s against the leu?
Plod: Yes. Unless you have a proper lisonce.
Spoons: What kind of lisonce?
Plod: A lisonce that permits the plying of any bananas in a public house for the purpose of commercial enterprise.
Spoons: Commercial enterprise?
Plod: Yes. You ply bananas and people give you the mooney.
Spoons: People give the monkey the money.
Plod: It tis the same.
Spoons: Oh, no! I am a publican and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn’t tell me what to sell, and I don’t tell him what to do with his money.
4
Brilliant!wish id thought of that/
Are u blind!hilarious
1
I bet it’s a shit sequel to Herbie Goes bananas.
There aren’t even any car chases in it.
2
Why didn’t he just send the bloke a Steak and Kidney Pudding instead? I mean that’s stereotyping the other way. I personally have never seen a banana in a Weatherspoon’s. On the menu there are apples and maybe oranges as desserts for kids, but never bananas. They go off too quickly. WTF?
2
Think they do have bananas for dicing on ice cream, banana splits etc
But the spoon?
Who eats one with a spoon?
1
Looking at the hideous deformed cunt, I wouldn’t like to be his dentist….. or for that matter, his optician.
……..least of all , his vet.
2
The worlds gone BANANAS!!!
0
All this talk of cutlery. 🙂
2
Louie Kincella? Sounds a bit pikeyish to me. Obviously not as the cops would never have had the balls to arrest him. As it’s black history month does anyone know what happened to the Hair Bear Bunch? Rumour is it was canned due to cultural appropriation (Hair’s Afro). Banana splits got me thinking, you don’t see much of Bingo any more either. Mr Peevely, Mr Peevely! In Australia the entire month is a celebration of finger painting, drunken domestic abuse and incest. Like red indians and eskimos, aborigines lack a liver enzyme which breaks down alcohol. This leads to semi-permanent intoxication in many cases, and is also implicated in the majority of boomerang related injuries. More interesting facts next time!
3