Okay, so this is a pretty weak-arsed nomination about something rather superfluous in the great scheme of things.
As much as I appreciate the internet, and have done so since the late 80s when it belonged to the sad nerdy, geeky, D&D types who spent all their time locked away in their bedrooms writing code, playing computer games and downloading hot p0rn at 5Kb/s over a phone line modem all night long – but that’s another story.
The internet is a wonderful tool – quite possibly one of the Wonders of the Modern World in fact. Everything that you ever wanted to know is quite literally at your fingertips via a good search engine (privacy issues aside)
Because of things like YouTube and Google Search, I can now repair/build/learn/absorb/discuss a whole host of things that were well out of my reach 20 or 30 years ago. Today, for example, I learnt how to replace a toilet flush system thanks to YouTube, saving me a few quid on calling a plumber out.
However, the downside to all of this free access to everything, is that there really is far too much information to fully comprehend.
Returning to my example of the flush system – I did a search and it brought back pages and pages of videos and articles on the subject, which meant going through a handful (sorted by viewings or likes), to find one suitable for my needs.
This took about 25-30 minutes before I found the one that ticked my particular box. (what kind of cunt showing you how to replace a flush system decides to have loud rap music and pointless editing messing up the entire experience ffs!)
Other examples of spending too much time sifting through the great swathes of information include fixing Windows 10 problems; reading news articles, carrying out online shopping, checking train timetables, wondering what time of wood seal to use for my patio table and chairs; reading blogs ….and on and on and on….
And the bigger problem is that when you start reading up on something – for example reading a blog article about the pleasures of motorcycle journeys, is that it will carry a link to another article which takes your interest. So you follow that, and then there’s another one. And before you know it you have 4 or 5 tabs open full of information relating to bikes, but you rarely complete any of them because there’s too many other things on the go, and time is marching on!
It’s like starting a DIY project – all full of enthusiasm and vigour at the outset; but then you quickly begin to put things off “until the next day”, and all of a sudden it’s completely abandoned!
So too with information – there’s simply too much of it, and it takes up far too much of my spare time. In fact if I did a Google on this very subject it will probably contain pages and pages of stuff explaining why I am spending too much time sifting through information, even though it will mean spending too much time sifting through information to understand how to reduce my time sifting through information….
Fucking hell, even this nom is a waste of time reading through all this stuff about information….. stop the world, I wanna get off! (ps. does anyone know how?)
Sometimes its best to be a thick cunt and live in blind ignorance.
Nominated by: Technocunt
Since Lock down the amount of emails I get from my employer about on-line training courses, changes in policy and every other cunting thing under the sun means that if I read them all I’d get nothing done.
Press delete
7
It’s called our feral past. Down the pub talking about everything and anything. If a fact was disputed and someone didn’t know , no one could prove you otherwise. Jokes were remembered and not read out. Notes from mates written on scraps of paper push through your door. I love the Internet but it’s still a bit of a Cunt .
8
My main problem is not so much the amount of information there is, more that a lot of it is contradictory or just plain wrong. Earlier this year I needed to top up my condenser boiler because the water pressure was low so I looked online. I had the make, the model and year of manufacture to hand yet the diagram that I found (allegedly of my actual boiler) telling me how to do this was totally different to my boiler and left me none the wiser. In the end I rang the rental agency who sent out a heating engineer. He showed me what to do in less than 30 seconds and considered it time well spent because he knew he wouldn’t need to come again whilst I lived here.
4
What I hate is the thick over-privellaged millennial cunts who know nothing of a certain subject then by reading a Wikipedia article on said subject suddenly become a fucking genius & expert in said field then preach it to old cunts like me.
Enviro-spakker Greta-Thunderburger springs to mind. Cunt.
10
Car manufacturer’s hand books. Almost impossible to wade through. As an example, changing the clock time. Nothing in the 100s and 100s of pages in the book actually works. Trial and error in the end. There are so many permutations of equipment levels, particularly electronic that a manual of 700 pages is useless.
7
I know what you mean…you innocently enter “Luna Rival” into the Pornhub search box and you’re stuck (literally) to the fucking computer for days.
The internet is a wonderful source of comfort to me.
13
The internet may be overloaded, but it beats having to trudge down to the public library or Waterstones in the hope that they have the right book every time the need to check something out arises.
Fortunately I seem to have the knack of quickly finding what I require online. Agree that some of the DIY type videos can be frustrating, but normally only takes a few seconds to recognise the ones that are not for me and find one that is.
Anyway, not sure how it could be any other way.
7
The only stuff you research online Ruff, is a load of wank anyway!
😀
4
That’s because there’s been so little new wank stuff uploaded since this Coronavirus bollocks kicked off!
To think I used to clap every Thursday night for those brave boys and girls working on the frontline at Pornhub*. A complete waste of time and emotional energy. Feckless fuckers.
* Other purveyors of filth are available.
5
But could a trip to an old- fashioned library be more expansive for one’s mind that googling?
Searches on the Internet begin with you having to type something in. In other words the idea comes from your head. Whereas in a library you wander from section to section browsing the shelves and looking at subjects you would never have thought of studying. If there is an equivalent of this on the Web then I don’t know what it is.
And the idea that this generation is more knowledgeable due to the vast information resources available to them is surely nuts. They seem to know little or no history not even of their own country. And when I was a kid I knew who Dixie Dean or Tommy Lawton was. This lot have never heard of Jimmy Greaves or Denis Law.
4
The trouble is finding that nugget you need. All sorts of pop-ups, cookies and adverts litter the fucking web now.
Fucks me right off having to click away an advert by clicking a single pixel ‘X’ symbol.
At some point you have to jusy say fuck off, and walk away.
5
If there is one subject that is information overload it’s the covid regulations. They vary in what fucking street you live, and a mostly a load of bollocks. Cunts.
5
VPN’s are great but what pisses me off the most when using one is having to go through reCAPTCHA, ticking endless bloody photos of fire hydrants, traffic lights and buses. Many of these American items look nothing like we have in the UK.
And then, often you’ll get a message saying someone has attempted to sign in on your device from America( because your VPN has routed you through a server in the States). So then you’ve got to respond to a code on your mobile.
Fuck off Google.
10
My usage is mainly for on-line auctions.
Yesterday I’d hoped to win an auction where some ancient artifacts were being sold by a descendant of the native North American Mohawk people, but I didn’t win it.
If only I’d put in a Hiawatha….
8
Fuck off Google.
Fuck off Microsoft.
Fuck off Facebook.
Fuck off Windows 10.
Hello Field Marshal Montgomery.
7
An interesting philosophical debate, Technocunt!
On the one hand the Internet brings me fabulous stuff on YouTube (especially old music stuff eg Humble Pie originally shown on Wyoming Breakfast -TV you’d never otherwise see) and, if selective , very good house and car DIY. It also has XHamster, Is a Cunt, Iplayer, blogs and suchlike but as has been said there’s just too much.
On the other hand the Internet is responsible for millions of vacuous cunts on sundry social media; Buffering/ freezing connectivity; State Surveillance (good afternoon GCHQ); scamming and worst of all, facilitating the globalisation and inequality that has fucked up any prospects of our younger generation having anything like the standard of living they deserve.
5
I agree with this nom: too much choice is never a good thing.
The internet represents everything that is good and everything that is cuntish in life.
It has created the “influencer” and given a voice to people who do not deserve to have one.
The best thing about it is all the free porn and ISAC, obviously 😄
6
How you got that far into the cunting without mentioning adverts defeats me. And the burgeoning tendency to refuse you access to a site unless you turn your adblocker off and accept their inappropriate and irrelevant ads. And the creeping cancer of ads on YouTube, currently giving you the ‘skip after five’ option on the first instalment of cretinalia before announcing that ‘your’ video will start only when a second lump of shite has slid off your screen.
To say nothing of regular adbreaks throughout the 10-minute video, even the porn video.
Oh, and then there’s the news site which defeats my settings, craftily downloads a video item, turns it on, and leaves it running in the corner of the screen I’ve just scrolled past. Particularly cuntish if you are like me on a PAYG arrangement requiring you to count the download kilobytes reaching your dongle.
But more generally, since it is the ISP whose sticky fingers are, sporadically or permanently, in your bank account and the ISP which is coining it , the ISP should pay the websites which make so much profit for it, and advertising would then be completely unnecessary.
5
Supplementary: Vodafone’s clearing a profit of around 10% of revenue, which as it’s in part selling access to other peoples’ networks and hardware, is pretty good beans. 4.1 billion eurinos profit last year.
3
May I suggest Chrome as your browser…load it up with the best rated ad and pop up blockers.
Never see another pop up shitter or YouTube bollox ad ever again.
Yes I know it’s Google but sometimes you have to take the knee😀
2
No surrender! When bloody Google started requiring CAPTCHA for every search I made and declining to switch its predictive search suggestions off properly I went to Duckfuckgo, and be damned to the inferior service. If the cunts are intentionally playing silly buggers with non-Google browsers, and I think they are, be fucked to them.
Really. They’re a bunch of greedy, chiselling, nosey fuckpigs and below the contempt of decent cunters.
5
More on that –
https://spreadprivacy.com/google-filter-bubble-study/
0
Another case in point that’s landing in my outlook mailbox, is yet another update from PayPal with regards some user agreement policy bollocks I’m supposed to digest and consider.
Yesterday I had something similar from Google, Halifax Building Society and Microsoft regarding changes to their privacy policies. But they’re not written in such a way that you can understand what the fuck is going on; and neither do they keep it short and pithy.
Instead you have to go through pages and pages of bollocks, with some words hyperlinked to other pages of bollocks.
This is the kind of shit that really gets on my nerves, as well being yet another distraction which takes up more of my time and patience. I know its good to be informed, but fucking hell something is clearly wrong when cunts like Google regularly update their privacy policies with even more incomprehensible bollocks.
6
…further to this PayPal email. Here’s a brief extract….
“Please click HERE to view an updated copy of the intended changes.”
“We have amended the wording in the section to reflect that upon reaching certain thresholds or involving certain business segments or activities the Commercial Entity Agreements can apply to any type of PayPal account you hold”
..and there’s a further 13 other sub-section changes to read and digest!
What the fuck all that means i have no idea, but its now occupying my brainspace and pushed out whatever it was I doing before I read this shite!
4
PayPal are also lying bastards. I paid off all but one of my credit cards which I wanted to carry on using. But PayPal wouldn’t accept it, telling me it was being blocked by the card provider. When I rang MBNA they told me there was no reason at all to block the card on any forum since it’s working fine, my account is clear etc, etc. PaPpal insisted it wasn’t their fault and recommended I link another card. I pointed out that this was the card I wanted to link, they said blah blah blah. The upshot is I no longer use Paypal and they emailed me to ask why???
5
My advice to anyone using PayPal is watch ’em.
They froze my account for spurious reasons and nearly ruined my business.
They can do this to anyone at anytime and their oirish customer services are the biggest cunts ever.
Beware.
5
Yes, I have heard about their dodgy reputation and piss-poor customer services. But for the last 2 or 3 years they’ve been pretty on the ball looking after my business transactions.
It’s these policy updates that get on my tits
4
I can confirm Pay”pal” are absolute cunts.
2
komodo, I agree wholeheartedly about You Tube. Fucking adverts are starting to boil my piss, big time. As for those polls regarding which adverts you’ve seen, tick none of the above. Now fuck you, You Tube play the fucking video, CUNTS.
P.S. How much do they want for blocking ads? Do fuck off.
4
I have yet to find an adblocker that blocks ALL ads, not just some of them on some forums.
5
I see both sides to be fair.
YT, owned by bastard cunts Google, is absolutely massive. I can’t imagine the compute power and raw storage needed to host that volume of content. Especially as it grows at such a rate everyday. All that hardware costs a lot of money. What helps pay for it is advertising.
The flip side is, the intrusion of ads makes using YT very annoying and less usable. So annoying that whenever I’m attacked by a fucking ad, I either abandon what I was doing, mute the ‘phone, or go to another tab and do something else while the stupid ad plays to itself.
Here’s the bottom line truth. There’s no law that says Google has to host all this crap. Google could decide to scale it down to what it looked like before they bought it, back when there were no ads at all. Personally I wish they would. But if I’m going to get a wish granted, I wish Google had never happened. Or Fecesbook. Or Twatter. Or Instafuck. Or iPhones. Or streaming anything. Or …..
7
Agreed IY. I think the likes of Google and Fakesbook, InstaCunt are too big now. They own way too much and have too much influence.
I go on YouCunt and first I have a pop up asking me to sign in to my account (nope), then I have one telling me to accept their terms, as if I have a choice, then I have at least 1 advert at the start of a video.By which time I think fuck it and abandon the whole thing.
3
Right there with you, Harold. I don’t know how the ads or ad revenue works. But we can’t be the only ones who resent the ads and either avoid them or ignore them using whatever means possible. I don’t know how that makes anyone any money. Plus it’s counter-productive. If you do catch a glimpse of some bastard ad that has got in your way, are you more or less likely to buy that product or service? I’m going with less. Who’s with me?
3
I’m sure I read somewhere that its a lot less lucrative now for youtubers to have ads on their pages/profiles than it was say 10 years ago.
The Grammarly adverts bring out the worst in me.
I’m actually quite calm and laid back in real life, but those adverts make me want to go on a Michael Douglas in Falling Down style rampage.
Why would you pay for a service when you have a spelling and grammar checker included in MS word/Lotus/Apache/Scrivener etc??!
The advert where that bearded ginger wanker with the screechy voice, drops his phone pisses me off as well.
“Still works” shame, I’d rather hoped it had smashed to smithereens.
1
This is a great nom.
We all suffer this information overload in different ways I suppose. I work in IT and there are 2 things which boil my piss about what I do for a living. First, dealing with scumbag pond life filth cunt window licker bastard shit headed fuck dragons. Or recruiters as they’re also known. Second, it keeps fucking changing.
In the good old days, if you needed to learn a new version of some software you could read the manual, maybe buy a book or perhaps review an article about it in the trade press. These days it’s the online documentation, possibly a choice of several books, podcasts, newsletters, online presentations, a million blogs mostly by people who regurgitate the vendor’s manual and think they’re making a valuable contribution (cunts), YT videos, online training, on demand training, workshops, seminars, user groups, user forums, Twatter, Fecesbook, Instawank. The list goes on.
The fact is, you simply cannot absorb all these sources of information so you have to be very selective. That’s fine, but then you live in a constant state of paranoia that you’re missing out on the one source everyone else knows about and you’re being left behind.
Add to that everyone thinks they’re a fucking expert because they read about a new feature then twatted about it and end up getting followers. Jesus Christ on a hard drive – WTF is wrong with (a) people who do that and (b) the sheep who follow them?
5
Great points, IY.
I was trying to learn about Google Analytics, Google Search Console and Search Engine Optimisation. There’s a couple of good ebooks that do the job, but then they point to some YT stuff that take you down a far more convoluted road where everything seems to blur into one fucking mess.
Every host of these YT training videos trying to outshine each other by saying how brilliant they are at getting their website at the top of page 1 searches and blah blah… and all you have to do subscribe to the channel and then fork out £££ to gain access to “my premium top tips” blah blah
Fuck all that for a game of tiddlywinks
3
If you’re in the industry you may like this (until I tell you who wrote it…)
…the instruments of labor constantly tear the means of subsistence out of the hands of the laborer;…the very product of the worker is turned into an instrument for his subjugation.
Frederick Engels – Socialism: Utopian and Scientific
1
If I want to learn how to do something, I do NOT look at an expletive video. I find a source I can print out and refer to at my leisure if it all goes pearshaped.
And WTF is it with ‘unboxing videos?’ I only know of their existence by a tragic accident, but what sort of sad retard needs to see any specific item (anglegrinder, airgun, shoes eg) removed from its excessive packaging? What sort of demented OCD victim would even think of making such a video, featuring a 20-minute underexposed shot of the producer’s carpet and a pair of scissors? Gaaaah.
2
I have an answer, Komodo! A possible use for an unboxing video.
I moved house recently and had to pack up my Audio Technica turntable in its original packaging and box. I could not figure out where everything went, so I found a vid which showed unpacking it. Thus, I could determine where all the pieces were supposed to go in the packaging/box.
Probably not the intended purpose of that video, but it worked for me.
2
The beauty of ISAC is that someone usually has an answer to deep existential questions like that, IY. Thanks for the insight. I agree repacking stuff can be a problem.
1
Evan easier if you can play it in reverse…
1
Thing is, most media companies employ clueless wet behind the ears cunts who seem incapable of any type of research. Some twat of a ‘journalist’ on the NME website referred to George Harrison as the Beatles’ drummer. Also, when Ralph Milne (Oh, Rallphie Ralphie) died, those pricks at the Manchester Evening News paid tribute to him as a ‘United Legend’. When he was arguably the worst signing ever by Fergie and he was absolute crap. Then there are cunts like Rolling Stone. Who have their Greatest Guitarist lists, and people like Robin Trower, Steve Hackett, Paul Kossoff and Jan Akkerman are never mentioned. They also put that talent-free mute gimp, Meg White in the greatest drummer list. So, the information these cunts put out is usually wrong anyway.
And don’t get me started on those Wikipedia cunts…
1
You talk about the excessive number of websites available for one given subject, all entirely different from the next………… that’s just like me with shampoo and soap in the supermarket – my head starts spinning from all of the choice and then I just end up walking out empty-handed. This is why I stink.
0