I would like to nominate GP’s and their Surgeries ( Surgeries my arse they do not ever do any fucking surgery, not even lancing a boil).
During these extremely challenging times, world pandemic, over stretched hospitals, full to bursting A&E wards etc one might be forgiven for thinking the general practitioner would be worked off their arse. Not a bit of it.
My own less than fabulous GP’s den has had a rule of no face to face consultations since March. Fucking hell Hospital staff work, Dentists work, Teachers work (at a push – DA), Bus drivers work, Check out people work, Bin men work ..etc. Get the picture? But not these lazy sons of whores. Not seen a patient in 6 months and counting utter cunts.
Now the Harridans that front the desk in these places ,(receptionists). Fucking hell what a set of stuck up rude thick fuckers these are.
Recently whilst enjoying a game of golf my phone went off I quickly went to answer it so as not to piss off other players ; golfers are cunts, but that’s for another time. The women on the other end Said “Mr E Cunt” I said “yes”, “You need to make an appointment to have a telephone appointment with a nurse regarding an ongoing medical condition”. “Ok text me one please anytime will be fine” said I. “Oh I’m sorry you’ll have to ring back tomorrow between 10-11am Mr E Cunt.” “What, I have to ring back tomorrow to speak to you after waiting for half an hour to be answered to make an appointment to be phoned up by a nurse, just make it now I don’t care what time or day”. “No” the bitch replied “appointments with a practice nurse can only be made between 10-11am”.
pause I am not making this shit up.
“It’s just gone twenty past ten now I said” waste of breath the cunt just came back with to same drivel about having to ring up tomorrow to make and appointment. I said I wouldn’t be doing that on account of it being “Daft” and hung up.
Several days later the phone went off it was the doctors on Answering it the voice said “hello is that Mr E Cunt” “Yes I said, ” Hello this is nurse frilly knickers about your Retinopathy test we have had to cancel it because of the on going COVID19 crisis.” Sorry.” No worries” I said. And that was that.
All that shit from the idiot receptionist following the idiot GP’s instructions and work place systems to be told that the travelling eye quack won’t be taking a photo of the back of my eye for the time being because of the Kung Flu.
GP’s are lazy ignorant pretend doctors cunts whose only purpose is to write out a sick note and a prescription slips. And their receptionists must come from a gene pool lower that insects. Fucking useless cunts.
Nominated by: Everyonesacunt
Reading the Letters Page in the Telegraph a couple of days ago, and someone posted “I managed to see my dentist, my hygienist and chiropractor face to face during lockdown; and yet I still haven’t managed to see my GP despite many requests. Why is that?”
And someone replied “Self Employed Vs NHS. The former have to go out and work to earn a crust; whereas GPs get paid to stay at home.”
A generalisation perhaps, but certainly rings true with the Public Sector. Is it any wonder they’re not bothered about the lockdown being lifted when they’re still getting paid almost close to full pay for “working” from home!
GP receptionists are cunts though.
21
I back this cunting wholeheartedly. A “specialist” GP I use for skin cancer related consultations is a couple of years older than me and I’m not exactly youthful. Her husband runs the front of the surgery. He’s a greedy cunt, but the missus is sweet. She is getting forgetful, though, having misdiagnosed twice and simply missed noticing both SCCs & BCCs once. I don’t want to sook about this too much, but as they’re both life threatening (more die each year from Squamous cell carcinoma than COVID) I do get a bit pissed off. Then there’s the usual day of appointment procedure. I always receiving an SMS on the day telling me she’s running about an hour behind. Then, when I arrive at the surgery an hour later, I still having to wait an extra 40 minutes before I see her. Plus she talks for fucking Australia. Finally, once I’m out the greedy cunt husband presents me with a bill for about $300, on average. And the Medicare rebate, ’cause the cunts don’t fucking bulk bill, won’t exactly keep me in diamonds and pearls. Any rate I had a pre-surgery consultation last Sunday with an actual surgeon who used to work with her. He’s gone out on his own so I tactfully raised the subj. of my concerns about her befuddled (pretty much!) consultations. The upshot is he’s now my new skin doc and surgeon combo. Plus, I don’t need to drive all he way out to Mona fucking Vale anymore for the dubious pleasure of having her cunt husband jack up the bill.
7
And as ever to seek the truth follow the money. Despite the low-level grizzling the above mentioned bint does about the cost of running her little surgery, none of these medicos are going broke. They’ve people filing in’n’out from the moment they’re open for business. Fookin ‘ell, eh?
5
Can’t comment on Aussie doctors, however, your veterinary surgeons are everywhere in Brit and fuck me, they know how to charge.
We sent you all our rogues, centuries later you send crims back!!
The robbing bastards!
Ps: G’day!
8
Not surprised about the veterinary surgeons, CG. I happened to find a young marsupial in my backyard without a mother nearby and clearly too young for such an outing. I took it up to the local V. Surg. at the station shops. They in turn pass it on to some wildlife protection lark run by voluntary veterinaries but subsidised by Fed Gov. Any profession that blows-hard about their gratis services to the communedee (as this lot do) yet receives massive kickbacks in the form of tax shelter etc. is suspect in my view. Any rate the veterinary sheila is a fit looking blond so the whole exercise put a smile on my face. When I lived in your country the ex-missus, an animal obsessive, insured all her pets. And Christ all Mighty didn’t she have a bloody zoo in our small council semi-detached.
1
My surgery closed and reinvented itself as a ‘covid hub’ – whatever that is. Then it magically merged with another surgery ut neither set of staff wanted to work together. So they merged the ‘business’ and kept separate identities. But you can only call one telephone number. If you are lucky you might only e 15th in the queue to talk to someone. they offer a call back service but only within the following 2 days. The have an internet facility that provides appointments and prescription renewals but you can’t message them because that facility does not work. Basically, there’s no service despite what they say.It’s easier to die than get treatment – cunts the lot of them
12
I shall, if would allow me, to cunt these cunts, with a joke:
Picture the scene: a rural village with a small practice. The waiting room is fairly small with lots of chairs packed in. Today these chairs are full with folk eager to see the doctor.
The door opens and in shuffles an elderly gentleman. He approaches the reception counter, behind which sits the dreaded receptionist, a hard faced lady in her fifties, twinset, pearls and glasses around her neck on a chain:
“Yes? Can I help you?”
“Er. I’d, er, like to see the doctor, please miss.”
“Yes, yes! And what exactly seems to be the problem?”
“Er. Rr, well, it’s a it personal like, I want to talk to a doctor.”
“Nonsense! I am very much afraid that if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t give you an appointment!”
By now , a deathly hush has descended on the waiting room, all ear strained and trained on the conversation between receptionist and patient:
“Well as I said, it’s a little bit embarrassing and personal, I don’t really want to discuss it with anybody else.”
“Well I’m very sorry, I can’t give you an appointment without details!”
The poor old fella takes a deep breath then says:
“It’s me cock!”
There are audible gasps from the people in the waiting room and the receptionist looks horrified.
“Wh-what! You ca-can’t say that! Now I want you to go outside, come back in and ask me for an appointment-say it’s your ear. Yes that will be better!”
The old fella is waved away by her and dejectedly, leaves the surgery.
Moments later he re- enters and approaches the receptionist. All those in the room, now attentive:
“Yes? How may I help you?”
“Er, I’d like to see the doctor, please.”
“Yes. And what seems to be the problem today?”
“Well er, well, it’s me ear.”
“Yes? And what seems to be the problem with it”
The old fella looks her straight in the eyes, straightens and in a loud voice , replies:
“I can’t PISS our if it!!”
18
Your lucky. At my GP surgery I go there in person to try and make an appointment with my GP because they never answer the phone. When they tell me I need to call up to make an appointment I tell them that no one ever answers the phone they just keep repeating that I have to call up to make an appointment. Having said that I don’t trust doctors anyway because they’re writing/typing every single thing you tell them……
7
Exactly the same at my local medical centre. They insist that you have to phone them when they know there are two chances of getting to speak to anyone – slim and none.
3
I was told that when I needed to make a follow up appointment a few weeks ago. I got my phone out at reception, called them and made the appointment.
4
GP’s are boiling my piss at the moment. Our calls to their patients have fucking rocketed as they don’t mainly do face to face, only telephone appointments, so, the cunts are telling them to call 999 or sending us out to ‘Check them over’. We’re a fucking EMERGENCY SERVICE not a ‘Checking over service’. Most of the time we refer the fucker back to their GP! And whilst we’re with that cunt that YOU could have dealt with, we’re unavailable for that cardiac arrest down the road. And their use of us as a taxi to ED for some cunt that’s driven to the surgery, is in the waiting room unsupervised, walks out to the bastard ambulance clutching the letter from the quack and requires fuck-all medical intervention on the way in. Some of the chancers try to get on the stretcher! You have to be dying to get on MY stretcher! ‘Sit in that seat, the stretcher’s for sick people’. About time we started billing the fucking surgery for our use. Don’t blame the receptionist, they’re doing as they’re told. Some are high and fucking mighty, though, but the majority are as good as gold.
Fucking piss takers.
11
And another thing, I’ve been called to GP surgeries and discharged the fucking pt they called us for in the fucking car park. One was going to complain about me as I berated her for not doing an ECG on a pt with chest pain. Just called us. The response as to what the HCPC would say when I complained that she hadn’t done an ECG shut her up.
7
But the biggest milstone around the neck of the ambulance service is NHS 111. A finer bunch of cunts you couldn’t possibly wish for.
7
I’ll second that DCI, I called them up after whacking my eye with a spanner.
After getting past the first questionnaire, I get put through to another person and after a second questionnaire, a third person and questionnaire ,at the end of which I was told to go to A & E.
Fucking half an hour of pointless waffling to state the obvious.
Haemorrhaging money? Yes, on pointless box tickers.
Fuck off.
10
However, thanks to Chinky Flu, Doctors have managed the telecommunications miracle of being able to assess and diagnose over the phone.
Halle-fucking-jullah tis a miracle indeed.
Bollocks to Bozo.
9
Surprised you weren’t sent an ambulance for ‘Chest pain’…
Hour late off the other day thanks to those cunts. Three day history of pain in the chest, worse on breathing. You CUNTS, that’s NOT fucking cardiac! Intercostal pain, for fucks sake. Take some paracetamol and fuck off.
4
Don’t worry Gene, the government are, apparently, going to rely on coppers to ascertain whether someone has the lurgy or not. If they think they are, they will be detained for “their own protection”: or was it “nacht und nabel”, I really can’t remember.
5
‘Own protection’?
Sounds like ‘V’ from the 80’s!
4
My GP surgery asked my mate for a sample and then gave him a bottle through a half-opened door. The receptionist gesture to a wall around the corner when he asked where he was supposed to fill it. Hope he gave it back to her covered in piss.
4
I predict this Cunting will attract a bulging and lengthy post bag to ISAC today and possibly exceed 100!
Seriously, every one of this community can concur with this, especially about the Receptionists. Everyone’s a Cunt perfectly encapsulates the sheer inefficiency evident throughout that means the NHS should never get another fucking penny until it’s sorted out.
The GPs have been a fucking disgrace. Most of my lot are so rich they only “work“ 3-4 days a week so they can top up their £100k pa and pensions with lucrative private consultancies.
Nurses and Nurse Practitioners have been heroic.
12
GPs have virtually sat this pandemic out. Behind their desks or at home where life is safe and easy.
And they got a fat rise to their £100K salaries for doing so while nurses, the people in the front line, got nothing.
When I collected a prescription (wearing a mask) the old hag behind two screens ordered me to step back further until she had left it on a shelf and shut the kiosk window.
Utter counts.
9
£100K salary?
Really, in the UK? Do you have evidence to substantiate this?
My missus is a part time (4 day week) Registrar GP on just under £30K a year. She could probably get more working at fucking LIDL.
4
Well, Paul, we are talking about the partners in a practice and the Blair government massively increased their pay.
My lot are certainly rich; huge houses, new range rovers (tho they never do home calls) and kids at private school.
They do all right.
8
Paul,
I note what you say about Mrs Maskinback but….
Extract from a random Google search ; this from prospects.co.uk
*“ Salaried general practitioners (GPs) earn £58,808 to £88,744 depending on the length of service and experience.
* GP partners are self-employed and receive a share of profits of the business. There is potential in this role for higher earnings, depending on the performance of the practice. “
So in other words, the partners at my local practice, being in their 50s, are probably at the top of that scale and getting a profit share to supplement £88k which would surely exceed £100k? London Weighting?
I appreciate Mrs M might have to cough up to buy in to a partnership; continue working until she’s 60 and on her knees / worn out but she will get there in the end.
Fingers crossed she’s ok 🤞
4
You are talking about 1 or 2 partners in a practice, Isaac; they seldom work on the coalface. It is the salaried GPs on a much lower screw who burn themselves out trying to see as many patients as the practice can possible crowbar into their day.
I don’t think the working GPs deserve the cunting. My missus is seriously considering leaving the profession altogether – that is really how shit it has become now.
1
ps. the patient fee paid by the NHS, to what are effectively franchised surgeries, isn’t that great now – the money is just not there. This is why practices have a scant team of GP registrars flogging a bollock, trying to scythe their way through an impossibly long list of patients.
Don’t forget, if say two partners are on £100,000k+ each and are non-productive overheads then the cost of their salaries etc. has to be squeezed out of the practice income. Run a practice? I know few doctors who say it is worthwhile and provides a great quality of life (work and remuneration).
Own a practice? Not sure it is the
1
Thanks Paul. I’m very happy to be corrected from someone such as yourself who has first hand inside knowledge. This sounds pretty similar to most professions ; big city accountants and legals…… partners earning stupendous fortunes and bonuses ; plebs at the coal face supporting it all. (In GPs case not even the bonuses for playing roulette with other peoples money!)
I hope Mrs Maskinback hangs in there- don’t chuck away all those years of sheer hard graft despite things seeming pretty relentlessly shite right now. Handoncock will only replace her with some barely comprehensible Dark Key.
Maybe it’s time GPs began to lobby their trade bodies to paint a more realistic profile? There’s little doubt that the public perception is that GPs “aren’t having a good war” reinforced by getting letters from the Govt suggesting they stop hiding away (whatever the underlying truth).
1
Most don’t get 100k any more. The senior partners can earn that depending on the size and patient list of their surgery. Most non senior Gp’s earn a percentage of what the partners wage is. I forget the percentage but its easy to find online, and all senior partners have to disclose their earnings which can also be found.
The current generation of under 40’s GP’s are so miffed because they signed up during the Blair era whereby he promised that sort of money for entry graduates just for diagnosing trivial shit and referring important stuff to the hospitals. The money hasn’t materialised as they’d hoped and the workload (apparently) is heavy on paperwork. My sister in law is one such disgruntled type who still earns more than I ever have doing a 72 hr shift week + OT and holiday cover when she works 3 days a week. No much sympathy with GP’s I’m afraid. Nurses however are gems.
4
My wife is a GP and she doesn’t even get the opportunity to take a piss during the working day, such is the intensity of the appointments. No, I am not fucking joking. The receptionist book back to back appointments with 15 minute allocation to each. If a case is serious and warrants further examination then that 15 minutes turns into an hour and then the GP is 3/4 hour behind in the working day. Try recovering from that. If the GP tries to see every patient within 15 mins and misses something then the GMC will be down on them like a ton of hot, wet shit.
The lockdown has resulted in a huge strain on the mental health of many people and thence GP resources. Some wind themeselves into a knot and make an appointment due to them thinking a shoulder spasm is bone cancer, there are others who make appointments because they are lonely and burst into tears because ‘they can’t cope’.
Seriously, please use your loaves cunters. Do some of you seriously believe that GP’s are taking the lockdown as an opportunity to ‘take things easy’, play a bit of golf in between the 1 or 2 appointments they have to fit into their busy social life? FFS, I did think people on here had a bit more savvy.
Cunting invalid.
7
Good points, well made, Paul. Trouble is, I’m speaking from bad experience with a few surgeries in my Trust area. My GP sorted me out a few years ago when I needed help and every time I’ve been called to my own surgery, ir’s been genuine. As always, a few piss-takers get everyone tarred with the same brush.
6
Paul, not all GP’s are equal!
Give you misses a well deserved kiss on the cheek from us!
(No! Not that cheek-B&W Cunt!)
5
Endorse Paul. Although recruitment of GPs’ receptionists probably requires certification by the Marquis de Sade…..Maybe that’s forgiveable on the basis that receptionists are right on the front line between bolshy ill patients and the not always perfect or painless treatment, but a helpful receptionist is, in my limited experience, a rarity.
2
Sorry mate always an exception to a rule. Maybe your good lady is one. However, I stand by my assertion that generally GP s are lazy useless cunts that don’t do any fucking work. Arrive at their diagnosis via the junior encyclopaedia of feeling a bit poorly and are treated with contempt by other health care workers. Including doctors.
4
My trainer made an appointment for me to see an eye specialist after I was knocked out of The World Food Fighting Championships at the quarter final stage. I got hit by a small, puffed choux pastry case filled with crème patissierie and topped with chocolate, just didn’t see it coming.
Really disappointed as my profiterole vision is usually pretty good….
6
“profiterole vision.”
You’ve lost me on that one JR?
1
‘Peripheral’, Bertie.
1
Thanks Li Li.
I’ve suspected for some time that you are a jokes scriptwriter!
😀
3
That’s putting it e(n)clair…
1
That’s ok Bertie, I suspect you had a big night out, a fog of booze and loose women (not those cunts!) in a last hurrah before lockdown 2. As for the jokes scriptwriter, I pinch all mine off Miserable.
1
Yes, LL. We’re just about to go in to lockdown a la Newcastle style. In Warrington we suffer with being halfway between Scousers and Mancs.
These local lockdowns are a fuckin nonsense. They can’t possibly work in a heavily urbanised area such as the M62 corridor. When Liverpool sneezes, Leeds cunts catch cold.
4
I think a lot of it depends on where you live. I used to live in our capital city, where appointments were nigh-on impossible to get and the receptionist was indeed a cunt.
I now live in a more pastoral area and the local surgery is fucking fantastic. And a young woman doctor pushed her finger up my arse. For free.
It all depends on how enriched and strengthened your area is.
7
I’m sure your area was enriched by this experience.
2
PS Heartfelt stuff from DCI Gene on here. Sympathies to you my friend. The emergency responders -across all services – have always been heroic. Christ only knows what you’ve had to witness doing your job.
I’ll also defend the vast majority of the teaching profession. Despite their piss useless Union conveying the impression they’re all militant and workshy, they’re not. The vast majority of them had to adapt an entire curriculum very quickly to online delivery, forfeited their Easter holidays without overtime and care very much about the kids.
7
15 years ago I had a sub-cutaneous cist removed at a GP’s surgery. Scalpeled my open and stitched me up. Not sure if GP surgeries still do that anymore though.
2
Now they just stitch you up!
Sorry-couldn’t resist😉
3
I made an appointment for my flu jab a couple of weeks ago, it was quite easy, the phone was answered in less than a minute.
Turned up for the appointment, had to ring the bell to get in, “come in, hand gel is there, its foot operated, stand on that line and I will book you in get your arm out and the nurse will be out in a minute”
Into the jabbing room, quick poke and then instructed to fuck off via a one way system to the emergency exit.
Covid has actually made them more efficient 😂
5
Had my flu jab done at Morrisons. Fuck the GP s surgery. Enjoyed taking the piss out of it with the pharmacist who said she shared my opinions whilst administering a little prick. I’d have sooner let a bog cleaner do it than piss about trying to have it down at my GP s. Incidentally they recently failed their ofsted. Safeguarding was a big feature. Insufficient background checks on quacks. 😂
3
What is particularly worrying about this situation is that many GP’s are talking about video/telephone consultations becoming the norm, even when Covid has been beaten. What is even more horrifying is that I’ve read some GP’s can even envisage the day when terminal diagnoses might be given by video link!
This country is finished. ©️ RTC
6
Sick of it – A quick poke in the jabbing room? Wish I was registered at your surgery, mate!
3
I managed to get at an appointment at a surgery run by Carlsberg 😂
3
My doctor said that I need to lose weight and get a little fitter before they will consider the next stage of treatment. He suggested using a gym.
I said, “I’m not sure about it.”
He said, “It’s really easy, you can arrange it all on line and pay by direct debit.”
So I did.
But, after paying £40 a month for almost a year, I’ve not seen any weight loss nor any increased muscle tone whatsoever, so tomorrow morning I’m going down there in person to see what the fuck is going on….
6
I’ve got a Prostate gland the size of a pineapple. I’m up pissing in the night longer than i spend in bed and all my appointments have been cancelled since march. CUNTS !!!
Im going for another piss now ☝️
6
You can get meds to reduce the size (Tamsulosin). I’m going through this with the old man at the moment though he’s 79 and had a stroke. Means you have to see those charlatans again however. You can also have your prostate “shaved” apparently, sounds dreadful but reduces the size and pressure on t’piss pipe, according to the incontinence nurse today.
I could write such a piece on GP’s but I’m so fucking sick of them and their surgeries I really can’t be fucking bothered. It’s too late in the evening to get the rage.
4
Most receptionists are trained by ageing members of the Stasi.
Thanks again Dr Wuhan.
Now Fuck Off.
5
The missuz got into a clinic but it took her fuckin ages.
“Eeeeeeh they wanted all sorts of samples, piss, blood, sweat, pus, shit….one lab to the next, waiting waiting etc”
You could’ve saved time
Oh yair and how?
Just drop in yer shreddies
3
Shame harold shipman aint alive/lovely bloke /family man /pillar of the community always made time to fit folk in at his surgery or home visits one thing you knew for sure youd probaly end up as dead as julius caeser /what shame hes not about the day he could do away nicely with all the illegals
6
The Covid Health Service.
Good luck getting any help with anything that’s not Covid related.
A relative (distant) of mine’s son in law recently died of cancer aged 32 after being unable to receive adequate treatment.
Due to the “not so” deadly virus of course.
As long as some obese 97 year old who has worked with asbestos their whole life who happens to have the “not so” deadly virus gets preferential treatment though is the main thing.
5
I’m a bit torn on this one, I admit partly because I grew up in a time when the family doctor was someone highly respected and trusted within the community and if you are fortunate still is, albeit rarer these days. Also I am sure the vast majority of GP’s are dedicated and committed to their patients as are the vast majority healthcare professionals.
There are a few exceptions, I will explain, some time ago the leading shooting organisations, The Home Office, and the BMA. Came up with a protocol whereby and applicant for a shotgun/firearm cert must agree to his doctor being contacted as to his/her mental ‘elf. Also a marker added to their records. It was agreed that GP’s could charge the applicant a nominal fee for their response. On the face of it a bloody good idea.
However Individual GP’s had other ideas, some thought great idea £250 should cover it, some thought, “ I’m a vegan nobody should shoot birdies and bunnies, I’m not going to agree to that”, and another lot said can’t be arsed to much to do already,! Yet another group said “I’m woke”, nobody should own a gun on principal.
The latter group particularly, quite prepared to prejudge a gamekeeper as some sort of potential maniac but conveniently forgetting the fact that Britain’s highest scoring serial killer was a GP!
Yours Faithfully,
H Shipman MD
5
Had to threaten cunt receptionist with legal action re fire arms certificate renewal. Took over 4 months, after fee paid to write to plod I had to inform her and then practice manager?!!! That if I had to give up sell at a loss because my ticket ran out I would look to sue them for costs. They emailed their thoughts on my mental health to plod that day and well a happy ending. A Renewal.
Why the fuck did it take so long ?? “Oh your doctors been ill , the lady who types these forms has been on holiday” etc.
One genuine threat of court action claiming for financial loss and the form probably about 200 words emailed within hours after waiting 4 months. And they wonder why I think they are cunts. Power corrupts.
3
A friend of mine called her gp because she was suffering from acute alcohol withdrawal ( the mortality rate for Delirium Tremens is up to 15%)
Noone at the practice wanted to know.
Despite the NICE guidelines recomending prescribing benzodiazepines the doctors all said that they were’nt “licensed “
to prescribe such drugs . Bull-fucking-shit!
I hope that when one of their patients dies or suffers irreparable brain damage from alcohol withdrawal fits that they can justify their actions.
Lying lazy woke cunts.
2