“Gemma Collins, Diva forever and ever” (3)

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Now admittedly ITV Be is a crock of shite, but this afternoon Mrs D is sitting in front of the idiot box with her mouth open unbelieving what she’s looking at. It’s “Gemma Collins, Diva forever and ever”

Now this vacuous fat nobody has admittedly been cunted on this esteemed organ twice previously on 2018 and 2019 but forever and ever in search of being even more ridiculous, she’s plumbed new depths with this utter pile of dross.

Apparently GC wants a man to call her own so she can have a baby so let’s hope that the poor unfortunate bastard she eventually corners brings a mining lamp, compass and map so he can find his way through the countless layers of lard on his way to her fanny.

She sure as hell isn’t going to find him in the episode as she goes on a staycation to a camp site. True to form she’s in a forty foot Winnebago which demolishes half the site as her witless brother tries to squeeze it in. But being GC she can’t stand it for more than one night and demands a five star hotel instead.

What baffles me is how the fuck the general public have sunk to such a low level of intellect that they revere this hag and she gets paid vast sums of money for behaving like a spoilt cunt and being generally thick as two short planks.

Clearly this explains why I never managed to make millions. Intelligence is a curse…

Nominated by: Dioclese 

(Is that our esteemed Lord Fiddler about to go down on his dearest beloved? – DA)

70 thoughts on ““Gemma Collins, Diva forever and ever” (3)”

  1. How can anyone get near her with a Greenpeace blockade protecting her from Japanese whalers? She could have a man but she probably wants the type who don’t find fat birds attractive, most of us in fact.

  2. Never heard of it before.

    Fat cunt✔️
    Dull cunt✔️
    Thick cunt✔️
    Looks like a fantastic big fat pikey✔️

    I can almost smell the yeast and cheese, from here😱

    • Norm-imagine being double-teamed by San n’ Tray😱

      Sad news about Nobby Stiles Norm-another great Mann U no7, gone ☹️

      • Nobby was one of the greats, CG. If only every player showed the commitment and desire to play for Manchester United that he did.

    • “you got it last night”
      “did I? oh yeah I thought there a mess on me snatch this mornin”

  4. @Admin

    Even living in the wild, bleak realms of the North couldn’t cause a man to plumb such depths,
    Surely?🤔

      • Sir Fiddler-she would “take you in as tatties , an’ spit you oot as chips”.
        Then eat your collection of Fray Bentos pies, puss away all your alcohol, before fighting the hounds for any scraps.
        As a true “old money” aristo, you must resist.
        👍👍👍

    • I saw this big orange slug on a advert wearing a turban!
      A fuckin Turban no less!
      Assumed they were remaking “it aint alf hot mum’ the 30stone version.
      Gunga din din.

      • Dont remember seeing you contribute anything of worth?
        If you dont like what you read either read another nom or maybe fuck off?
        No point whining like a tart,
        See if admins got any tissues and dry your eyes.

      • Glad I missed that one. Though the sight of David Cameron wrapping an orange rag on his bonce to appease the guptas whilst campaigning does come to mind. Equally nauseating.

  6. Famous for being a big tub of lard…..

    Would never have go on TV with the old square TV set, I blame wide screen TV!

    • She appears to be as stupid as she is fat and as rich as she is stupid. Sadly broadcasters and media throw money at folk like this. Joey Essex anyone? And some youngsters aspire to be like them. Strange old world!!

  8. Based oh what I know of this cunt there is little hope of her actually, pro-creating with a real man. So I suggest that if does she find a man…she pays for his Pornhub subscription and gives him a beaker and a turkey baster and if I might paraphrase B & WC…indulges in self fornication.

  11. Ill-mannered,ignorant,entitled…but worst of all, a fucking fat Cunt. I don’t understand why these obese Hogs imagine that men find them attractive…I still cringe remembering that fat cow that I tupped behind Ladbrokes…the smell of the fish and chips that she continued to eat as I pumped her,the worry that the shopping-trolley that she was bent over would buckle,the concern that I wasn’t actually in her but was hammering away at a flab-roll…but most of all the dread of someone who knew me coming out of the bookie’s and catching me at it.

    A combination of strong drink,desperation and morbid curiosity really is a dangerous thing.

    • Sir Fidler, as a young cunt, an older mentor gave me some advice:
      “If you ever find yourself in bed with a lass over 15 stone, forget foreplay-get her in her back and lay a towel on her belly, to gain traction.”

      Thank fuck I have never had to take his advice-the dirty pig fucker😂

      • I am considering writing a series of books-“Fifty Shades of Cunt”
        The hero will be based on Our own esteemed Sir Dick de Pfeifel-Foxchaser Fiddler.
        I aim to give it a saucy “confessions” film twist with strong comic characters based on Miserable, B&W cunt, DCI Gene, Norman and others.
        It will be badly written shite, obviously-but with lockdown and all this doom & gloom, it could become a winner.
        I will base the sexiest scenes on some of the myriad of my own sordid conquests-so should get the juices flowing.

    • Haha. Quite the lifestyle you’ve led. I see know where the term vinegar stroke came from.

  12. This cunt wanted new signage on her shop and phoned up my mates sign business.
    He didn’t know it was her shop until he turned up to see what they wanted.

    He said she was full of herself and he played dumb as to who she was.

    She shouted to the back of the shop, “Oi, Cheryl, this bloke don’t know who I am, he doesn’t know who I am.”

    Cheryl appears and says, “Have you seen TOWIE..?”

    He says, “Who’s TOWIE..?”

    She says, “The TV show, The Only way is Essex.”

    He says, “You don’t watch that fucking shit do ya? It’s for chavs.”

    ….then leaves.

  15. what is this lump of shit? there’s no wonder this cuntry is in the mess it’s in – with cunt johnson still to come to do – i wanna get the fuck out of here

  16. what is this lump of shit? there’s no wonder this cuntry is in the mess it’s in – with cunt johnson still to come today – i wanna get the fuck out of here

    • If was on the edge before Lana, we are now truly finished. We will have 6 million on the dole by February. Just reading another cunt Professor saying we will need to wear masks and have social distancing for ten more years. Are these cunts for real?? Suicides will be more than the virus, heads in gas ovens, hangings. Will we hear about this on the news? Will we fuck. Fuck this country and fuck Boris. I now expect riots like in Spain, when people have no hope this is what happens.

    • Thats right folks 4pm today boris in his own show is insulting the intelligence of the nation/cue the condescending attitude as they pull out the big map /this is the country where you live/this is how many deadetc/yes mein fuhrer but what about the cunts who didnt follow ze rules have they been shot dead yet by special decree of the fuhrer

      • That probably means Garden Rescue is cancelled again for one of those breathless BBC “News Reports” which means yet more what if’s and perhaps from a group of gurning “experts”

      • Jellyfish Johnson is over his head.Do as I say not as I do.Our country is ruined.If he never listened to Pinky and Perky we wouldn’t be in a mess.Gas them all

  17. Best thing that happened to this fat cunt was when she fell through the hole on the stage that time. Measured 6.4 on the Richter Scale. What discernible talent does this tub of shit have??? Shows the simpletons we have in this country who idolize and watch her. How about watching something on the History Channel or reading a book? We truly are fucked.

    • Fucking ladybird special edition for this fat fucking useless cunt if it can read or even identifies as a woman

  18. Tbh she should be a fucking virgin still how and why any man would want to put he’s magic wand in her Lardy , cheesy fishy cunt is beyond me and it’s not as if it’s a good looking fatty she’s a fucking absolute fucking pig , mind you that argy that knobs it is a fucking fat lardy twat as well must be a grim site them two shagging

  19. Dumb Gemma rides the wave of “gobby nobody on soshul meeja”.
    Dumb Gemma get$ rich and her Warhol allocated slice of fame.
    Not so dumb Gemma – given this nonsense or till work at Asdaaaah what choice has a faboso lady got, init!
    And it pays for the cock hunting trips to Eyebeefar babez!

  20. That woman looks as if she modelled herself on Vicki Pollard – a sort of Emily Thornberry for the proles.

  22. Fat fucking peasant.
    How the fuck does vermin like this become a celebrity?
    Says a lot about the society we live in these days.

    • Our Isles are sadly pre-occupied with “Celebrity” and have been for a long time now. I remember a few years ago seeing a young girl on the “news” and the interviewer asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. You guessed it “A celebrity”. I despair, I really do.

  26. She looks like so much of a cuntable fishy fat cunt that I am almost sorry I have never heard of her. But only almost.

  27. This revolting trollop is part of our national decline. I bet it doesn’t stand too close to a heat source for fear of rendering down into maloderous blubber.
    I don’t blame her for whoring out a living, rather the vacuous, selfie taking, Instagram knuckleheads who give her an audience.
    Shit on what this country has turned into, you reap what you sow.
    Cunting millenial, woke, fuckstick libtards and their poxy ’empathy’.
    Dissolve in acid, get sloshed and go berserk.
    Cunts.

  29. Gemma Collins is a load mouthed, talentless, fuckpig who looks like a spacehopper except a slightly paler orange the i think is known as Essex peach, shes going to find herself crying like Katy Price about everyone taking the piss, useless gobshite cunt…..fuck off back to KFC….

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