Now admittedly ITV Be is a crock of shite, but this afternoon Mrs D is sitting in front of the idiot box with her mouth open unbelieving what she’s looking at. It’s “Gemma Collins, Diva forever and ever”

Now this vacuous fat nobody has admittedly been cunted on this esteemed organ twice previously on 2018 and 2019 but forever and ever in search of being even more ridiculous, she’s plumbed new depths with this utter pile of dross.

Apparently GC wants a man to call her own so she can have a baby so let’s hope that the poor unfortunate bastard she eventually corners brings a mining lamp, compass and map so he can find his way through the countless layers of lard on his way to her fanny.

She sure as hell isn’t going to find him in the episode as she goes on a staycation to a camp site. True to form she’s in a forty foot Winnebago which demolishes half the site as her witless brother tries to squeeze it in. But being GC she can’t stand it for more than one night and demands a five star hotel instead.

What baffles me is how the fuck the general public have sunk to such a low level of intellect that they revere this hag and she gets paid vast sums of money for behaving like a spoilt cunt and being generally thick as two short planks.

Clearly this explains why I never managed to make millions. Intelligence is a curse…

Nominated by: Dioclese 

(Is that our esteemed Lord Fiddler about to go down on his dearest beloved? – DA)