The Oscars (5)

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In the category of “The wokest virtue signal” of the year, the nominees are too many to mention so let’s get right to it and award the Oscar to:

The Oscars.

Yesterday the cuntsordium know as “The Academy” issued new guidelines for winning it’s completely meaningless and totally irrelevant “award” known as, Oscar.

Anyone interested in the new nauseating criteria can go here and read it for themselves:

http://foxnews.com/entertainment/academy-inclusion-requirements-2024

Suffice (it) to say, Phonywood is not content with churning out Stupid Hero escapades or wokest re-makes. Now they have diversity requirements for starring roles, supporting roles, production crews, studio staff, interns, and other aspects of a film if they are to award you an Oscar.

I for one am hopping right on this wokest, gut wagon and submitting my first idea. A re-make of the Kipling classic:

The Trans Who Would be Queen.

Starring Idris Alba as Sgt. Daniel Dravot. A post op tranny who wants to establish, a utopian, multicural, monarchy in Shangri-la…on the border of Wakanda.

Also starring Arsher Ali as Sgt. Peachy Carnehan his devoted non-binary, pan-sexual partner.

With Frema Agyeman as Ms. Rudyard Kipling, a lesbian, civil rights activist and member of Antifa, who took over her husband’s failing Imperialist newspaper and turned it into the world’s premier BLM periodical. (She narrates the story from a deconstructed feminist point of view.)

It will be produced by (alleged rapist) Harvey Weinstein and directed by (alleged pedo) Roman Polanski. Original reggae theme music will be composed by Lin-Manual Miranda and will be rapped by Adele.

OK…maybe this isn’t so much a cunting as it is a my angry mind running wild through a field of contempt…but the point remains:

Oscar is a cunt

Nominated by: General Cuntster (Deceased).

…and seconded by Ron Knee

More California Snowflakery

“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee speaking. As you’ll know, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has published diversity and inclusion ‘guidelines’ that film-makers must follow if their work is to be eligible for the ‘Best Picture’ Oscar category from 2024. I’m joined from Hollywood via conference link by that titan of the film industry Hymen X Prepuce III, to discuss the ramifications of this for the industry. Thankyou for joining us, Mr Prepuce III”.

“Hey, nice talkin’ ta all you good people in UK Engerland. Call me Hymie. Folks do, ‘cept that damn ex-wife ah mine. Hussy an’ that shyster mouthpiece ah hers took ma ass ta th’ cleaners, fuckin’ bitch…”.

“Er yes. Now, what’s your opinion of these quotas that are being imposed?”.

“Heck son, as President ah Gigantica Pictoors, ah gotta say we think it’s real swell. We’re all just one big happy family here in Hollywood, lookin’ out fer one nurther. We’s all frurm th’ same hood, enda th’ day”.

“This move hasn’t been met with universal acclaim. Some critics, including those from ‘under-represented’ communities, are calling it condescending and insulting, another exercise in virtue-signalling and box-ticking by luvvies lacking self-awareness”.

“Yeah well (lowers voice confidentially) don’t quote me on this, son, but it’s more horseshit from them fag-end, up their own ass pinkos. Fuckin’ commie bastards are killin’ the business, but what can ya say? If ya wanna turn a buck in this shithouse burg, ya gotta play th’ hand ya dealt. We wanna win Oscars same as every other goddamn chisler in Tinselfuckingtown”.

“But political posturing aside, won’t these rules cause practical problems for the creative process if you have to think in terms of quotas constantly?”.

“Kid, ya gotta keep ahead of th’ game. We already got our first project up an’ runnin’. We’re re-shootin’ ‘Rocky’, a previous Best Picture. We’re in on th’ act”.

“Fascinating! A re-make of a classic American dream, rags-to-riches story”.

“Well it ain’t so much a re-make as a re-visioning, a re-imagining, as we call it. See here, Rocky’s now a midget (hush ma mouth, a person of diminished stature!) who’s always dreamed of a crack at the light flyweight championship. We got that runt from ‘Game Ah Thrones’ in. Trainer Mickey Goldmill is now Michaela, an’ Caitlyn Jenner’s excited by the potential ah th’ role”.

“What about other major characters? Apollo Creed, for example”.

“Check this out. We gone an’ got us Morgan Freeman no less!”.

“Sorry? Isn’t he over eighty?”.

“Dammit hush up boy. That kinda loose talk costs lives with the anti-ageists here! Anyways, get this! For love interest Adrian, we’s in talks with a certain superstar whose intitials is MM, real, honest-ta-goodness Hollywood royalty! Mind you, she’s actin’ up; wants $20 mill an’ top billin’. Damn bitch”.

“Well that’s diverse. All you need now is *chuckle* a dead character. The deceased community is very under-represented on screen these days…”.

“Holy goddamn shit boy, ya right! All hell’ll break loose! We need a stiff ta play Apollo Creed after he cashes in his chips.” (Grabs phone). “Central casting? Who we got on the books who croaked recently…?”.

“Er, that was just a joke Hymie. You could, you know, just get Mr Freeman to act being dead, him being well, an actor… oh well, this is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.

…and another from Dark key cunt 

The Oscars.

So the people who control what films that get nominated for the Oscars have come out with their ‘diversity protocol’. A few weeks ago, Dwayne Johnson was listed as the best paid actor last year. Samoan, brown (or should that be Brown), Bald. Ticks all my boxes plus the one about being able to act. Why has he never been nominated? Cunts.

CUNTS!

41 thoughts on “The Oscars (5)”

  1. You can have all the Oscars you like but how long are normal people going to turn up and pay good money to watch an endless parade of this dreary, right on woke shite. People go to the cinema to be entertained not to be lectured at.
    These cunts will soon change their minds when it hits them in the pocket. Bottom line is the almighty dollar.

  2. The Oscar’s can fuck right off, what a pile of cunt.
    Life is great cunters, what a beautiful day…
    Wishing you all the best.
    Go fuck yourselves. 😁

  3. I read this with great delight.
    They have royally fucked themselves.
    Nobody gives a fuck about woke status or the number of The Dark Ones you insert into a film.
    Good luck with your shifty communist agenda.
    You snowflake appeasing Gay Lords.
    Fuck right off.

  4. I wonder if all the wokeflake wimminz will be giving tearful tributes to Harvey Weinstein this time?
    Unkle Terry – load that oven onto The Black Pig – your services are needed in Hollywood.
    What goes in and out at the sound of the doorbell?
    Every Hollywood actors arsehole if they have visited Epstein Island! 😄

  5. Talent and creativity no longer have any currency in film. Piss poor remakes and rehashes crowbarring in wokeness and historical bollocks.
    Add in Superhero crap aimed at an intellect which hasnt progressed since age 12, and you have Hollywood.
    The projects mooted in the cuntings are probably in production.

  6. What the fuck happened to merit? Not specifically in films, but life in general. We’re going from the old boys network to woke list and didn’t bother to stop in the middle, where the best person for the job would be automatically picked. I don’t give a fuck what gender (only two remember) or sexuality the cunt is, they just need to be the best candidate. Cunts.

    • When you get the person you need for the job you end up with Winston Churchill.
      When you get the person you are told to pick you get Dawn Butler.
      Almost forgot – good triple nom! 👍

  7. Black nominations for an Oscar 12.5%. Black population of the US 13%. Fuck Hollywood and their bullshit.

  8. White films for white people, black films for black people …. sorted

    Children films for the peacefuls….. oooops!

  9. Great nom(s) lads, an enjoyable read.
    I love films. Have thousands of Videos, DVD’s and Blue rays of some of the better ones.
    I used to look forward to a trip to the cinema, made a day or night out, nice meal followed by a film, film then meal. Went pretty much weekly.
    I have not been motivated to go to the cinema for ages, in fact you can probably count on the fingers of 1hand, the number of times I have been in the last five years.
    Says it all☹️

    • Same here. Last film I saw at the cinema was Terminator Salvation and all I could think was no wonder Christian Bale flipped his lid. Obviously he could see was a mess the finished film was going to be…

  10. I’m surprised the Oscars have only two noms, but they’ve shot themselves in the foot.
    In order to meet the new criteria, it seems talent is set aside to favour, skin colour, sexual abnormality, and blah blah blah.

    So now we all know which films to avoid.

  11. I don’t know why actor laddies worry about Oscars – they would much prefer a Nigel or a Rupert, a Nancy or an Adonis. Load of left wing poofs.

  12. I’m looking forward to Ron’s review of re-imagined Rocky. And I believe Gigantica’s rival, Googlisney, has ‘Full Rainbow Jacket’ in the works, too.

  13. Joe Public pays his hard earned to go to the pictures to get entertained, not to see how many different colours/genders are involved in the making of the film. Joseph McCarthy wouldn’t know where to start with this load of bollocks.

  14. Once upon a time the Oscar ceremonies were characterised by rich cunts giving long speeches thanking every fucker they’ve ever met and bursting into tears.
    Now it’s rich cunts giving long speeches about poverty, equality, racial injustice and what a bastard the Tangoman is.
    Still, at least they have better drugs at the after parties now. Probably cheaper too.

  15. I am making a film documenting my life in Britain.
    The country where my whitey side have lived in and been looked after for thousand’s of years and which welcomed my Jamaican Grandparents…the country that gave me a free education and medical treatment all my life and looked after ill relatives with the utmost care, the country that pays you if you don’t want to work, the country that welcomes and pays for all types of cunts turning up in dinghies with no historical connection to the UK.
    David Lammy has offered to direct it and told me to ignore what I’ve mentioned above and told me to call it Black and White Cunts struggles in horrible Britain, he reckons it’ll win an Oscar in the current climate.

      • I was hoping you might play me FTF, but after talking to those big batty/titty black women you like down in Brixtahn unfortunately you aren’t as gifted as me down there.
        😁

    • Sounds good B&W-I will go in a different direction-will be releasing some “home movies” shot using hidden cameras, detailing my sexual exploits from my twenties.
      A shoe in for an Oscar nomination-virtually every creed, colour and race getting smashed by me in every way imaginable-and then some😉

      “Not since 1939-45 have so many, been fucked, by so few.”
      Winston Churchill 111 , Screen magazine.

      “I haven’t been so wet, since I read this 20 shades books, phew!!!”
      Claudia Winkleman, Film 2020

      “And why not!”
      Barry Norman.

      • You are an inspiration CG, every proper man should have at least 100 women he’s banged and have some videos to reminisce on later.
        However I fear we are a minority as too many don’t have the bollocks or gifts we clearly possess when it comes to the opposite sex.
        Top man. 👍🏽

      • Praise indeed👍

        Three things every young lad should know:
        One:be confident-nothing unlocks a ladies underwear quicker.
        Two:be brave and aim high, the worst thing that happens, she tells you to fuck off.
        Three:remember-women like “it” just as much as we do.

  16. Terminator ruined.
    Star Wars ruined.
    Marvel ruined.
    Ghostbusters ruined.

    Hollywood’s newest strategy: keep making shit, woke, PC films and blame racism/sexism when they bomb at the box office!!

    • Agree with you, CMI. What I find appalling in some actors is their absolute lack of common sense, decency and integrity. Take Ghostbusters for example. The original had a brilliant cast, great story line, not bad special effects, nicely shot, etc. Overall, a really great filum that’s stood the test of time.

      Along comes some dip shit of a cunt who wants to remake it. They start casting and does anyone say, “No, we really shouldn’t do that ‘cos the original was so good let’s not dump all over it”. Hell no! It’s their chance to get their fucking faces on the big screen, so screw history and integrity and go for the ego trip and the money. Utter cunts.

      Hollywoke is so self absorbed it is simply incapable of making solid and rational decisions. Better to play it safe and churn out virtue signalling mush. It’s no wonder cinema audiences behave the way they do by ruining the experience for everyone because they too are totally self absorbed. The whole industry needs a visit from Uncle Terry.

  17. Apparently they are making a Shamima Begum film abaaaaaht her bid to get back to Britain.
    It’s called ‘Halal be back’.
    😁

  18. The thing I don’t get about The Oscars is why they even exist. The same goes for any profession where there’s a public display, announcement and ceremony of who or what was considered the best. It seems completely unnecessary and totally subjective anyway.

    One of the many human failings is the strong desire for acknowledgement, acceptance and appreciation. We all have it to varying degrees and it’s just the way people are. Fine. But add to that huge egos, exhibitionism and the possibility of being crowned ‘best’ and what do you end up with? The Oscars and the like.

    Knowing there’s the chance of being publicly acknowledged as the best, does anyone really believe that screen plays, casting, choice of director, story line, etc. are never influenced by that pursuit? Me neither. So it becomes a game of how to tailor your movie so as to gain the recognition you desire. It’s a fantasy just like many of the movies themselves and thus lacks substance and true meaning.

    The Oscars….an ego trip for overpaid, under talented, pretty people who are so shallow they actually think it’s important. Very sad. Very unnecessary. Totally irrelevant.

  19. Expect something for every other major award bollocks – Emmys, BAFTAs, Golden Globes etc.

    However, if “diversity is our strength” then can we have some in the MOBOs please?

    Nah, thought not! And then lies the problem

    • I think this is bang on. More and more people are clued in as to just what a self-regarding pile of wank the Oscars et al are. Those still tuning in do so for a belly-laugh I reckon, esp. if Ricky Gervais is doing some kick-arse intros.

  21. I was staying with friends in the States back in the 90s and they had the Oscar’s on. Even then I wanted to puke. Actors equate to cunts these days. Johnny Depp is ok, but the the fucking luvvies, get a real job you bunch of shitheads.

  22. What’s the betting Sparkletits and Hewitt Jnr present an award?

    You read it here first, 6 months beforehand.

  23. In fairness, the guy holding the Oscar in the picture made a cracking film called JoJo Rabbit, and he played Hitler in it. Funny as fuck, intentionally.

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