Not always to my tastes, but there have been some great novels in the past.
However, cue woke 2020.
The topics covered by the six nominees are wide-ranging, including stories about climate change, the hardship of life in Zimbabwe, dementia, and the women soldiers of 1935 Ethiopia.
Only 2 of the nominees are actually white. Perhaps whites are not writing novels about the correct subjects. You can bet the hardship of Zimbabwe isn’t about murdered farmers and their families. Climate change. Yawn. Wimmin soldiers of Ethiopia? Fuck me that must have taken some digging. Racism and homophobia also feature. What a fucking surprise.
Perhaps they should get that transbender Chiyo to present it. Or Lineker.
Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
I`m currently reading The ■igger of the Nacissus by Joseph Conrad. It`s shite, but you can still order it online, original title and all.
PS – it`s about a big black man on a boat (spoiler`s in the title).
7
I only re-read two books both stolen from the library,
The Bible and mien kampf.
The Bible , I like the old Testament but not the new, too hippy.
Mein Kampf is the story of a poor artist done wrong by some dodgy types its pretty good.
Failing that, Edgar Rice Burroughs!
Simply marvellous!
Its got everything you need.
Dont buy William Burroughs by mistake, hes a druggy and dirty bugger.
12
I didn’t have you as the religious type Miserable. When they start clapping for the NHS again, which they will, maybe you can retort by reciting fire and brimstone Bible verses, dressing gown flapping open of course.
6
Im not really LL.
Never read mein kampf either!
Used to be a voracious reader but somehow slipped out of the habit?
Jack Kerouac, Jack London, and Joe Lansdale being particular favourites.
Just stopped.
No reason, not sure.
6
Right on.
ERB: John Carter on Mars. Lots of scantily-clad loveliest.
Also some great ideas like planting lots of trees to create a friendly atmosphere.
Did I mention the scantily-clad martial gals?
4
All ‘Prize-winning Awards’ are back-slapping wank, their only purpose to market and publicise schlop and to create a ‘buzz’ about the shit. I wouldn’t want to read about a poor Ooga-Dooga surviving in Shitswana where the cicadas were an orchestra to the languorous trees bathed in a burnt, sienna sunset blah blah white man bad blah we wuz ROY-al-TEE blah blah. Mind you, I wouldn’t mind that one Cuntstable mentioned about murdered farmers. Tour de force.
11
I can’t see Cocoa Boy or Cocoa Girl amongst the publications shown?
This is a typical example of dumbing down for the new black privilege.
8
Following on from 12 years a slave, I shall be entering my next novel for consideration:
“Twelve years a Cunt”
The harrowing tale of Anthony, a working class boy who despises his peers and his struggle to elevate himself above his social status. We encounter love, his courtship of the beautiful “Cherie”, daughter of a famous thespian, his friendship with a Scottish nobleman “Gordo”, a bittersweet relationship that eventually leads to betrayal.
In all this Anthony maintains his values and is indeed, the people’s champion, loved by all and despised by none.
A work of pure fiction, obviously.
15
Needs to be written in the continuous present, in the first person, by the Cherie character. Don’t forget the intricate details of her daily shopping and the cost of the socks worn by the male protagonists. Your chances will be 1000% better if you call yourself Miriam Ojobswonga on the cover, and better still if your tutor on the obligatory UEA creative writing course had herself been taught by Malcom Bradbury. You can be as original as you like with the typeface and pagination, but the narrative needs to be leaden.
Yo, sista! etc.
3
…NOT Ray Bradbury. Can’t stress that enough…
1
Did you not enjoy The History Man, Komodo?
3
Never read it. An ex-mate was tutored by Malcolm, and the “ex” derives from the shocking drop in the quality of his writing thereafter, among other things. MB might be readable for all I know, but his effect on UK literature has been dire, IMHO.
Enjoyed everything I’ve read from Ray B, though,
1
I was on the Booker prize list 12 years ago. It was called “fuck woke”. At the time they assumed is was a story about insomnia. I, like Trump and his Nobel prize refused it. Its no point in indulging cunts who wish you nothing but ill will. Fuck em. Cunts.
5
1. Genocide at pooh corner.- A.A.Milne
2. How to make friends and influence people
D.Trump
3. Food tastes better on the way up
F.Flintoff
4. Lord of the Flies
Philip schofield
5. He was like that when I found him!
The Michael Barrymore autobiography
All great reads!!👍
8
Five Go Dogging
Five Black Up.
Five At Brighton Pride
Five XR Demo.
Five Say Bollocks To Brexit.
Enid Blyton ‘reimagined’ by al-Beeb.
8
I have a copy of “Five on Brexit Island” and can thoroughly recommend it.
5
Are you taking the piss.? Im an arteest il have you know Mr Northern.
3
I see that Vogue magazine has a new black editor and has filled it with black models and BLM inspired articles. Hopefully the readership plummets to new depths.
Couldn’t see any articles in there about KFC or Nandos though.
10
Gucci nose bone or louis vuitton lip plate?
7
Suitcases made of human skin!
5
White suitcases, would that be?
0
They are remaking an episode of ‘Friends’ with an all-black cast. I didn’t watch this load of cringy yank bollocks the first time round so I don’t really care but that’s not the point. Not doubt the women will be ‘sassy’ opinionated gobshites.
10
My prediction? Whitey will win fk all unless they are writing about oppressive racist whitey.
7
Im writing a book Foxy!
Its about a private detective and hes aided by the ghost of Steven Lawrence!
Only the private eye can see him, but that introduces lots of hilarious scenarios!
Hoping itll be adapted for TV?
Stephens catchphrase is “ggghost?!! Were?!”
Before remembering hes the ghost.
Obviously Doreen wants a cut, 60p in every pound for a greiving mum she’s a right grabbing fucker.
9
I have the perfect title MNC – Randall and homeboy (deceased) with sidekick “greedy fat bitch” – a surefire winner! 😁👍
All we need to do is sit back and wait for the royalties to roll in!
11
I hope Lawrence will be played by a whitey actor due to colour-blind casting.
It could be the new Rentaghost but instead of Timothy Claypole the jester, you could have an Afreecan witch doctor called Timotee Claypot.
11
Brilliant.
5
How on earth did the sooties manage to write something down?
They’re illiterate, aren’t they?
Perhaps their honky-paid for iPhones have an app that manages to decipher M’tembe and D’Shawn’s grunts, clicks and whistles.
10
Hang your head in shame Mr Cunt Engine! I refer you to my post below.
3
Here’s a programme fans of great literature won’t want to miss:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000mf8x
“Africa has become a superpower in the world of the novel. Shortlists for the world’s major literary prizes are packed with African authors, while novelists like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie have become international celebrities. But how did Africa become such a hotbed of literary talent? In this fascinating and insightful film, Nigerian-born presenter and historian David Olusoga explores the incredible story of the African novel.
From the 1950s, as African nations fought for independence, writers such as Chinua Achebe, Ngugi wa Thiong’o and Wole Soyinka became the conscience of a continent – often paying a personal price for speaking out against both colonialism and corruption. In their wake, the African novel was to spread around the world – writers of the African diaspora such as Buchi Emecheta and Ben Okri created masterpieces from their adopted home of the United Kingdom. These novelists wrote books that are funny, witty and often tragic. They achieved something that stretched beyond the world of literature – transforming the image of Africa itself.
The programme features interviews with some of the most pre-eminent novelists working today. We hear from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Aminatta Forna and 2019 Booker winner Bernardine Evaristo. The documentary features extraordinary archive of the key novelists and insightful contributions from leading figures whose lives were touched by their writing, including dramatist Kwame Kwei-Armah and MPs Diane Abbott and Kwasi Kwarteng.”
I sincerely hope none of these authors have been guilty of culturally appropriating the English language….
16
“I sincerely hope none of these authors have been guilty of culturally appropriating the English language….”
I doubt that, RTC. Judging by their massacaring of our sacred tongue, they can’t say English words of more than two syllables and the nonsense that vomits forth from their KFC holes could never be classed as English.
12
Despite our apparent wayy-cism, David Olusoga didn’t mind taking his free education here. Despite awful corruption, slavery, inhuman acts of violence in Afreeca, David Olusoga continues to focus on the white man. Despite Nigeria having an unspeakably wretched human rights record, David Olusoga picks on Churchill and other British figures.
Despite being a tv “historian”, David Olusoga is a racist, bitter, ungrateful, malignant, Nigerian cunt.
16
No arguments from me Cap.
7
The only good african novellist is Wilbur Smith.
9
Unless he self identifies as black he’s not eligible.
6
Thomas, just reading about a lunatic called Carl Panzram.
He while out in a boat crewed by dark keys shot them all six with a luger and fed them to the crocodiles.
His famous last words on the scaffold were
“Hurry it up you Hoosier bastard!
I could of hanged ten men while your screwing around.”
You know what his problem was?
Impatient.😀😀
6
Darkies on a boat, MNC?
What the shit? They can’t swim.
If they fell overboard, they’d sink immediately to the bottom, despite wearing a life jacket.
PS…Carl Panzram is #14 in my “Top 20 favourite serial killers” list.
3
Dårkīes on a boat, MNC?
What the shit? They can’t swim.
If they fell overboard, they’d sink immediately to the bottom, despite wearing a life jacket.
PS…Carl Panzram is #14 in my “Top 20 favourite serial killers” list
5
Carl was a beacon of equality he hated everybody. He is my number one badman
5
Well hes not invited to my dinner party.
2
I think Olusoga needs to bring himself back to earth with this genuine link:
https://www.bbc.com/pidgin
Explosions, SARS, vote-rigging. Some of the exceptional achievements we have come to love good old Afreeka for.
5
If I were black i would be fucking offended. Every award for artful arsehole gazing has surrendered to this bollocks. The only appropriate measure of a book is its content.
The best written book with the best story to tell should be the book to win. The booker prize is not even meant to consider the author, just the standard of the fucking books.
By selecting entrants based on their colour they are eliminating books that may well be more worthy of winning.
What fuckery is this?
12
It is nothing less than the eradication of Western European culture and its heritage.
I heard an item on the News this afternoon that the National Trust has caught the Woke bug and is busy rewriting British history to meet BLM standards. I’m not fucking kidding!
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/money/other/national-trust-accused-of-rewriting-history-over-list-of-shame/ar-BB19hTmA
9
Fiddler Towers didn’t make the list then. Maybe it was already ‘cancelled’ following the fallout from the LGBT bender badges staff had to wear.
4
My cousin in Naples spray painted a slogan on a wall not knowing that the building was owned by a “family”….
When they caught him, as a punishment they forced him to attend a creative writing course.
They made him an author, he couldn’t refuse….
12
Take as much notice of the booker prize as I do of the turner prize none.
6
Just looking at my book shelf now. I’ve loads of great novels “out of Africa ”
Got books by;
Bob Ruark
Ernest Hemmingway
J H Patterson (not really a novel)
All great stuff!
3
Perhaps they have been underestimated after all.
The cunts seem to at least know how to spell Migrant No Papers Torture Boat Baby Overboard Britain Dinghy Free Bank Hotel.
Stick your fabulous Afrikaan novelists up your woke distorted arse.
Fuck Off and Die.
6
Unkle, there are some good Afrikaan novelists. They are white. I think you mean kaffir, semi-literate novelists.
5
During the time I was absent from ISAC and before I returned from the dead (hence, Deceased) I read 2 books:
The Necronomicon by Abdul Alhazred
The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows by Aristide Torchia
4
Err written language full stop is cultural appropriation for khuns isn’t it?
“Africa has become a superpower in the world of the novel”.
I didn’t think it possible but a statement that makes “we wuz kangz” seem rational!
There is no limit to the delusional entitlement of khuns. None whatsoever.
8
In these troubled times I couldn’t be prouder white man, I could think of no bigger curse than having hair that resembles Fur, rubber lips, and nostrils the size of manholes, even having a knob that you have to tuck into your sock must be a bugbear, but going back to literature I enjoy a good re read of Flash for Freedom by George McDonald Fraser. Highly recommend unless you are a dar key.!
2
All of the literary entries to this self congratulatory sh¡tefest, are like fairy tales.
Grimm.
1