The Avanti West Coast Woke Express

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Anyone who has had the misfortune to travel by train in this country will know that it is not a pleasant experience. The crumbling network is underfunded, expensive to travel on with overcrowded, dirty and unreliable services. However, Avanti West Coast have decided that it is the perfect time to launch Britain’s first Pride train staffed by a LGBT crew.

The train emblazoned with a huge rainbow flag will leave from London Euston this morning (25th Aug) and travel up to Manchester Piccadilly. It will also have a black and brown paintwork to represent BAME communities as well as the transgender flag. Little wonder they didn’t want ‘St George “I can’t breeeve” Floyd’ immortalised on the side.

“A sign of the steps we are taking towards a more inclusive, diverse and equal society” burbled a company spokescunt. The train will also be filled with posters and literature and Pride-related onboard announcements.

Oh fuck off you woke pansies, any normal person just wants to get from A to B as quickly as possible, in comfort and for a reasonable price, not to be indoctrinated by LGBT propaganda or informed on Manchester’s cottaging hotspots. And if you’re not a Gay imagine the thought of using the toilet? You would have to hold it for three hours as the helpful staff will probably offer to shake it.

It almost makes you yearn for the good old days of being sandwiched next to the toilet following a five hour delay on a hot summer’s day, and paying an extortionate price for the privilege.

Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator

90 thoughts on “The Avanti West Coast Woke Express”

  1. What has the world come to, really , we have to put up with bollocks like this, bring back the 80,s i say when these fucking faggots had to keep this depraved behaviour to themselves for fear of being filled in and not in a good way for them.
    We all have to accept the turd burglers now but advertising it like its the best thing, same as BLM, i think it was better when these cunts just behaved themselves znd acted like normal people……

  2. More minority woke nonsense given too much prominence; this is more than the thin end of the wedge. Employers engage staff to carry out agreed duties, not to advertise nor to exercise their sexual proclivities. The workplace Is not an open meat market for CUNTS with deviant desires.

    • If you are a poofter that is God’s gifts to you my son, but please dont rub our faces in it. A rainbow train ffs, it would be nice if the cunts ran on time. Thatchers shite how everything would be wonderful in the private sector turned out to be SHITE.

  3. How is it diverse if it’s only staffed by bumders? So with this logic there should also be trains staffed only with straights, blacks, women, spackers etc.

    • Isn’t it “spaccers” rather than “spackers”? I made a reference to “being a Joey” t’other day, and it got a laugh out of someone else who was about my age.

  5. Isn’t that discrimination, you have to be a fucking bender or gender bender to work on the train…. sounds like a right fucking wind up, so I guess they have to have stand by crews who are also po0fters.
    I hope they will have a guaranteed straight service, a train crewed by people who are not fucking deviants!

    Mind, you it’s been going on for years, most cabin crew on aircraft are as bent as a five Bob note!

    I wonder if the booking system advises that this train is a gay fest so the peaceful types can avoid it, don’t want to offend them 😂

  6. Whatever next? Shall we expect to see trains and buses covered in half-naked children in erotic poses, just to placate another minority group the Woke-Left are trying so hard to legitimise rather than demonise?

    (No wonder Jimmy Saville was keen to plug BR back in the day!)

  7. The Chutney Ferret Express. Will they paint the front end brown?
    Ooh ducky, we’re entering a tunnel, more soy latte anyone?

  8. I never imagined a train would be used as a symbol of inclusivity. What next? Pride lamp posts, rainbow wrapped sky scrapers, municipal buildings and bridges?

    All the money wasting lefty councils will be up to this.

      • They’ll have to let them travel for free as the cunts won’t pay the sort of fares honkies are expected to.

      • Imagine the hassle of cleaning up fried chiggun and blood at every stop!
        Crowbarring a pissed Piggy Abbott through the largest doors as she projectile shits everywhere?
        And when I get on a train (25 years of commuting on the BASTARD things soon takes the shine off) I want reliable, clean, cheap and if something fks up (as it ALWAYS does) I want someone to get off their fkin arse and put it right – I don’t want some fker lifting my shirt!

      • They tried that in South Africa, apparently it was immoral, but not as immoral in my view as this fairy freighter!

      • Good nom LL!👍
        Fuck me your the ISAC version of Alan whicker arent you?
        A touch Michael Palin?
        Hiking in the foothills of the Himalayas you let slip last night,
        Now fancy choo choo’s?
        Id never been on a train till I was 35yrs!
        And Fiddlers only ever seen a drawing of one!
        You must be minted?!!
        Swanning about like Judith chalmers,
        Never at home, fuckin nazinine Ratcliffe spends more time at home than you!
        I can proudly say ive never been more than 5miles from where I was born.

  9. I’ve been thinking of that phrase ‘what people do behind closed doors is nothing to do with me’ until they came out of their doors and started marching in the streets. I mean some on these ‘Gay Pride’ marches should be done for offending public decency. We need a fight back. I don’t mean we organise Straight Pride’ marches with men feeling up women ‘Yeaaaahhh’ ‘Get her tits ahhht love’ the women ‘cop a feel here Dawn’.No, we marches by common decent folk against all this public display of deviency.
    But ‘what happens behind closed door is not my concern’ And then they started going into primary schools to read ‘fairy’ stories to kids (drag queens) And then they demanded to be allowed to go into women’s toilets (trannies). Now it has something to do with me.
    If Naturism takes off again should they be allowed to walk naked in the street? ‘It’s nothing to do with me’
    But it is. We need a new moral crusade. We need a new Mary Whitehouse, a new Malcolm Muggeridge, as new ‘Festival of Light’ to lead the fight back. With The slogan ‘what people do behind closed doors IS to do with me’. We need Christians to go into schools to teach the children the value of chastity. We need upright men to guard public toilets with signs saying ‘Women only means women only’. As I say we need a new moral crusade. Maybe Anne Widdecombe could be the leader. Yes come in Anne we’re right behind you.

    • Good post Miles, libertarianism is degeneracy.
      Male,female or neutral, just like language.
      Generation snowflake=generation entitlement.
      Scared to work,scared to lose favour on social media,scared to have their own opinion that isn’t fashioned from others,scared to stand on their own two feet.
      Full circle will come about and order restored by some point.

    • Oo-ee-oo, the Plastic Inquisition, coming soon to a bedroom near you! Crusades, religious wars, oppressive morals and hostility to sex… cunts will again be whipped and their throats slit for having sex outside marriage. Again the Church will preach that masturbation is worse than rape, because at least rape can result in pregnancy. Fuck our forbears who suffered and died for freedom and democracy.

      Good morning 🙂

    • Please no Mrs Whitehouse look alike. She looked very much like my late mother-in-law. No Les Dawson jokes, but boy he got it. Dreadful woman. I should have looked at her again and got away from my Mrs. Boggs. They say if you want to know what your wife will look like in thirty years take a look at her mother. If I had have done, I would have legged it back to Portsmouth pdq

    • Excellent post MP,
      I have said many a time on here that since the decline in Christian teaching and the brushing aside of Christian values in favour of libertarian values the moral if this country has gone downhill.
      This country and its laws are heavily based on Christianity and even insurance companies still state ‘An act of God’ in its terms and conditions etc.
      I see the Muslims have a strong sense of togetherness through their religion and we as Christians have lost that…and then we hear the same cunts moaning abaaaaaht the Mosques in popping up everywhere saying ‘This is a Christian country’.
      I may be a sinner but I believe in the Almighty.
      May God bless us all.

      • Christianity is our only hope B&W. The government can’t do anything, nay, they are FACILITATING all this by passing new laws. To profess Christianity now almost precludes you from entering politics. Look at Tim Farron- he upheld the traditional Christian teaching on homosexuality and he was hounded out. Or rather ridiculed out. It’s been said before if Jesus came back today he wouldn’t be tortured and murdered He would me laughed at and mocked.
        Ave Crux Spes Unica.
        (hail the cross our only hope)

    • Fuck me, from the fudgepacker Express to some puritanical religious crusade. Talk about extremes! I’ll have neither if that’s ok. You can keep that shite behind closed doors too.

    • Miles : you are the very reverend Billy Graham and I claim my discount, behind the skip, hand -job voucher😀

    • What a load of old shite. Just because some fairies like receiving swollen goods in the hole designed for single way (outgoing) traffic only, they feel that they need to let the world know of their deviancy.

      Utter cunts.

    • I just don’t get it… yippee I am gay, if someone is gay they are gay (see I am being nice, not using po0fter, fart catcher or other derogatory remark) what is there to celebrate, a brown stain on the end of a cock! 😂

  11. Fuck me the fucking pooftah express. Will there be a poof train set to go with it?………in double O guage obviously.

  12. “And if you’re not a Gay imagine the thought of using the toilet? You would have to hold it for three hours as the helpful staff will probably offer to shake it.” – Liberal Liquidator

    I doubt you’d get the chance to use the toilet. It will most likely be occupied the whole time….

    • They will have a whole carriage as a toilet. Plenty of room for them all to bum each other.
      Don’t ask for a cocktail for fucks sake.

    • If one is compelled to facilitate this service one should make the point of consuming a cabbage and offal vindaloo washed down with much stout the night before, making sure not to flush (or even open the lid). That’ll sort the cunts out.

  13. Call to Arms!!!!

    It is the duty of every esteemed ISAC Correspondent to stand on as many bridges as possible between Euston and Manchester and fling their morning piss and shit on this train. That rainbow flag needs to be turned 50 shades of brown!

  14. My family seat is up in the Lakes so when I don’t drive, this is the line that must be used from Londoniska.They seem, like Virgin before them, to be a decent service just hugely overpriced. Unlike cunty Virgin they reimburse swiftly if the train has been delayed. Sad to see they’ve cynically embraced the Gaylord mafia.

  15. Never heard of this until today. Must have been well publicised??? See Linicunt as offered to take in 1 illegal invader, better lock his medals and caps up.

    • Linicunt has conditioned this on the basis he will help on a “temporary basis”.

      Depends what temporary means, Gary. Whilst the dingy brigade cross the Channel then you really should be doing your bit and housing several illegal gimmegrants, not just one.

      I hope they shit in his fridge, wipe their knob on his curtains, sell his cars, empty his bank account and fuck his girlfriend in all holes. The cunt.

      • Yeah sure, LIly Mong and JK castleowner also stated their intentions to take one in, years fly by and nothing happened.
        Will buggerlugs keep his word, and not just adopt a gimmigrant for a week as a photo opportunity?

  16. I wonder if they will name the trains?. The Nicola Adams Express or the Bendover Bradshaw Special, or perhaps even the Mandy Rover.

    It is all getting, as the Sgt Major used to say when breaking up Monty Python sketches, “too silly”

  17. How has no-one coined the phrase “trans-trains”? Staffed by drag artists and sex change types with mutilated genitals with the train itself confused as to what tunnel to go in?

  19. What a disgrace…
    A train ran by mentally ill bender cunts.
    Whatever next? The London Gangsta express…where you take part in a grime video on the way and get robbed before leaving?
    The Whitey Express where a load of bitter cunts talk non stop abaaaaaht the good old days, and don’t like eachother.
    Or the Peaceful express where Abdul the conductor shout’s Alan O’ Snackbar through the speaker every five minutes and one in 7 trains get blown up?
    Or finally the Black and White Cunt express where any fine women get a free upgrade to first class if they are up for a bit of tonguing.
    Seriously what the fuck happens on this gay train? Anyone fancy a half price baguette? (that’s been up the conductors bumhole)
    Cheese and pickle….
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • The full service train, where fit young women offer a complimentary ‘full service’ for the more discerning gentleman traveller.
      The train travels at a leisurely pace to ensure gentlemen arrive at their chosen destination relaxed and refreshed.

      If only Carlsberg ran the trains 😂

  20. This country is finished. ©️ Ruff Ruff Creampuff.

    I cunted Expats a couple of times and it’s looking like I’ll end up as one in the future…
    Go fuck yourselves.

      • A fine upstanding British citizen like me does not have to fear extradition SOI…😁

    • I can see why cunts leave to be honest. Trannies in schools trying to brainwash your kids, rape gangs slavering after your teenage daughter and knife crime everywhere, while the cops and media seemingly support all of it. Or you could fuck off somewhere quiet and less mental it lucky enough to get the chance?

      Totally understandable.

  21. “A sign of the steps we are taking towards a more inclusive, diverse and equal society”

    Hang on a minute, I’m confused, do you have to declare your sexuality when buying a train ticket or something these days???

    WTF is this shitfest about.

    Virtue signalling at its worst.

    Perhaps we should run a new poll of the best, or worst attempts at virtue signalling.

  22. Why is there Pride in being homosexual? It isnt an attainment it is natural. Though not normal.
    Pride is for achievement or perhaps the achievements of your country. Why not ginger Pride? Or left handed Pride?

    • What would be the matter with a bit of gvay shame?. When I was in the RN it was well known some of our crew had homosexual tendencies, but to do them justice, they kept quiet about it and kept it below decks. Their exercises were never mentioned by them. Interestingly in 9 out of 10 cases the men involved were real men, not effeminate little pansies mincing round in womens clobber and makeup.

  23. There is only one way to save the British…Nigel Farage needs to run for PM.
    Covid has finished Boris the Bellend and he seems like he’s not the same cunt,
    Sir Rear Stormer is not worth thinking abaaaaht as he’d probably offer to drive this Gay train.
    Nigel is the only way Britain can be saved, will it happen?

    • No way, unfortunately.

      Nigel will have to win a seat in Parliament first. He’s already tried 7 times and failed on each occasion.

      Imo, the chance of Nigel getting to be PM is worse than the likelihood of Dick Fiddler being persuaded to undergo a slash n’ gash operation.

      PS: Boris hasn’t changed, he IS still the same cunt. That’s the problem. He’s a pro Gay liberal, and has always voted in Parliament to extend Gay rights.

      And Nigel’s not homophobic either, for that matter.

      So it sadly looks like you’re going to have to go and fuck yourself.* 🙂

      * © Black and White Cunt

      • “So what rights DON’T you have?”

        (Quentin Crisp to Peter Tatchell)

        Tatchell didn’t like that one… 😂

  25. Not really sure how the clergy can help on this matter but our local Catholic church have helped enormously recently in combating the obesity epidemic that we face at the moment by introducing a new low fat communion wafer called, ‘I can’t believe it’s not Jesus’….

  26. I believe Thomas the tank engine is due for change to reflect our diverse culture, renamed Tarquin Trans Engine instead off hoot ,hoot, it will be poof, poof, gobble, gobble, poof, poof,

    I quite like the idea of Postman twat

    I’ll get my hat

  27. I would advise any cunter to avoid travelling on this train.
    Mohammed is already planning on blowing it up, and throwing any survivors off a tall building.

  28. I watched an excellent video last night which was a discussion between Douglas Murray and Niger Farage.

    They concluded that none of these movements can stop at equality. If they did they’d have to close themselves down. To justify their continuing existence they have to find new goals to push for which become more and more extreme.

    And we the GB public are supposed to just suck it up and givein to every ridiculous demand they make.

    They are fecking laughing at us.

  29. I’m reliably informed that in order to recreate nostalgia from the steam age, Avanti are planning to bring back name plaques from some of the famous steam locos that used to grace the tracks, with slight changes. These include . . . . . . . .

    Flying Scotsman. Flying Scotsperson
    Mallard. Wellard
    Duke of Sutherland. Duke of Bûggerland
    Hereward the Wake. Hereward the Woke
    Cock of the North. Pussies of the Saaahf
    William Shakespeare. William Shakeskweir

    Thought this one would be a winner LL when you nominated it.

      • Morning Bertie, B&WC. We were going to put your avatar on milk cartons tomorrow if you hadn’t had surfaced by then. Miserable and I have been sharing the pun load but its punishing.

      • Morning LL. I had a good snîgger yesterday when I saw yours, Mis and The Fid’s comments yesterday as to my whereabouts.
        😅

      • Morning B & W. I’m fine thanks. Just returning after a short break out. When is a nice boy like you gonna settle down?
        I’m just curious as to what hue of lady you might finally choose and whether you could see yourself with any little black and whites? Tell me to fuck off if I’m being too personal.
        😂

  30. What if something criminal happens on the train that the gays can’t sort aaaaht?
    Will the transport police have to board the train in high heels, wearing nail varnish? Will there be a special LGBTQ+ division to police this bender train.
    If I see a male Copper in heels, I am seriously considering putting him under citizens arrest for not being able to do the job he’s paid by us to do properly.
    The cunts.

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