Ashley Banjo laughably calls himself a dancer, I call him a cunt. His so called “dance” lacks the grace of ballet, the culture of Latin, the artistry of ballroom or the appeal of Pole (my personal favourite). Fuck, it’s even more comical than Michael Flatley’s rookie attempt to stamp out a small brush fire. It’s not dance, it’s synchronised circus acrobatics which, given what a fucking clown he is, kinda makes sense. But he aint just one of the dumb circus animals, no, this premium bell end is the ringmaster – the choreographer.
He dragged a talentless troupe of doppelgänger halfwits onto a television show, ironically calling them Diversity despite them being carbon copies of himself – except of course the cute one with the fire hazard hair (someone make sure Flatley is in the wings just in case). That was 2009 and he has milked it (and probably the cute one) ever since.
I’m a charitable sole and these crimes alone do not warrant a full on cunting, however there is more which truly does, brace yourself, it’s about to get ugly.
Over ten years on and with the cute one now dragging around hairy bollox hanging lower than your grandad’s, yet still sporting the frizzled teenager mop top, Banjo’s stellar incompetence lands him his big break. Nobody wants their stand-in to be any good. If you go on holiday and Steve from accounts deputises for you, you spend every second praying he fucks up and makes you look indispensable. So, when the UK’s chief talent scout, Simon Cowell broke his back and needed a stand in, who did he call – that’s right – Sambo Banjo (see below for context before you get too irate at that).
Banjo puts together a routine which seeks to shame an entire nation for the acts of a single individual from another continent – who will likely never see it (lucky him). Racism needs calling out but there is a time and a place. A primetime light entertainment family show is not the stage for political cunt stunts. Maybe Banjo is of the opinion you use whatever stage serendipity deals you, possibly, but the nature of opinions are they differ – but he wasn’t prepared for that and took to social media to condemn all critics as racists.
Now there is a problem here, if you want racists to be viewed as social pariahs akin to paedophiles, child killers, or politicians, then you need to not bandy the term around on a whim just because someone disagrees with you. For to do so renders it banal and no more than punctuation.
Sambo Banjo comes for the 1800’s and was a term used in music. Back then racists abound, although I guess they didn’t see themselves as such, and thankfully we have moved on. Some still persist of course but they are hidden in the fog and haze created where everyone is glibly called a racist. Consequently, we can’t see the wood for the trees, a phrase even older than Sambo Banjo (Circa 1500). The term “racist” has no currency, it should be a potent attention grabbing accusation, but it isn’t, and that is a shame.
Now that Banjo, through the medium of dance, has kindly alerted me and 50 million other Brits to our racist tendencies, perhaps next week he can knock off a few more of our rough edges. Maybe with a routine on child fucking, perhaps then I would see the error of my ways and finally move onto adults. Genocide, human trafficking – come on Banjo – educate me further.
Nominated by: Cunt Spotter
(Chaps – we’re getting quite a few of your comments hitting the mod q, mostly for blunt racial references – To avoid all that hassle can you be a little more subtle/inventive? – DA)
Absolutely spot on. Back when they started (cough) dancing I said to the Mrs where is the diversity in that lot.
25
Nasty cough that Once a Cunt. Hope you’re self-isolating.😁
7
Chance would be a fine thing got enough of those wasters here at work
8
Ashley Banjo….. more like Asshole Banjo, the fucking twat !
He can join the list of ‘selebritayy’ cunts who are good for nothing, and I want to see towed out to the mid Atlantic & left there.
It’s a lengthy list…. I started out thinking of a barge, but it’s turning out to need more of a shipping container size ship, for all the useless fuckers that we need ridding of.
Without a mobile signal or wifi, the cunts won’t take long to starve, knee deep in their own shit.
I still bet they paint “Help us, we’re famous!” upon the deck in pretty colours, in the vain hope a private charter jet flys over, before they start to sucumb – the bastards !
16
Lets dance!
Was David Bowies suggestion in the 80s.
But most ignored this as just the cocaine talking.
Ashley Banjo (nee-ukelele) took him at his word though!
With a collection of other urban hoodrats he dances in a all black group ironically called Diversity.
To have ‘dancer’ as your job title is for duckies and part time prostitutes,
A sign of failure.
Should of learnt to read an write!
22
Aside from the dire Tin Machine, the Let’s Dance period was Bowie’s biggest bottom burp. Dumping the production skills of the great Tony Visconti for the wet gel disco shite of Nile Rodgers. Let’s Dance was commercially massive, but it was a far cry from his Ziggy and Berlin glory years. A ludicrous egg yellow granny perm, the Anthony Price suits, and crap like China Girl and Let’s Dance. It was when Bowie went ‘Creme Brulee’. It was mostly downhill from then on. Glimpses of former greatness (Loving The Alien, I’m Afraid Of Americans) were there at times, but things got worse with Never Let Me Down and that whole load of Glass Spider bollocks. A shame.
6
Norman, agree -re Bowie.
When I discovered Bowie (13yrs) I was a bit shocked that football hooligans were fans!
Remember there was this older lad a fuckin blueprint for Begbie said to a young MNC “hey you whats that badge?”
It was the effete image of Bowie from Hunky Dory😀😀
Rather than use me as a football then stab me he ruffled my hair an said nice one!!
Absolute nutter but a fan of make up wearing aliens,hehe.
7
The last Bowie Album I bought was Heathen 2002. Ironically the best track on there In my opinion was Converstion Piece written in 69 then re-recorded. Hearing the original recording is interesting as its like two different songs. One by youth and one by weary age. I like them both.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA5WyBMPULE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNUB-egjDSo
0
No fan of either Gallagher brother (bluenose cunts), but one of them got it right when they said Robbie Williams was ‘just a fat dancer from Take That’. Frankie Goes To Hollywood also had their own ‘dancer’.
Say no more, eh?
8
Banjos IQ appears to be approaching that of a squirrel, the stunt he pulled on TV Just reinforced what most people thought of him and his (fake) diversity Hoddies, make no mistake just scratch banjos gossamer veneer and I’m sure you’ll find oodles of Blattitude and a nasty little racist streak …..
12
Ashley Banjo. Did you know that his name is an anagram of:
Publicity grabbing opportunity taken.
Perhaps.
This fellow has had his 15 minutes-and then some. These end of pier talent shows on TV are well past their prime.
I don’t blame Banjo for upsetting 40 000 complainers to Ofcom-I blame ITV, the production duckies who allowed the routine and the cunts at Ofcom with their “nothing to see here attitude”.
They lost half a million viewers after this virtue signalling shitfest. In the fallout, anybody complaining labelled Karen’s, gammons or plain racist,
The following week some bint nobody has heard of, wears a chunky, classless BLM necklace, again breaking the phone lines to offcom.
Another half a million viewers lost.
Now the advertisers will start to pick up on this.
Money talks. Hopefully this shit fest will be relegated to an obscure time slot or better still cancelled.
The cow has been milked to death.
Banjo can be redeployed to newsnight as advisor on diversity.
Cunts.
28
I always thought the banjo is the thin strip of skin that connects the herman gelmet to the rest of the penis.
11
I got sent to a cunt that called 999 ‘cos his was bleeding. My symapthy well ran dry that day in about a picosecond…
12
Should have kicked him in the bollocks and sliced his corey off for wasting your time.
7
I would love to do that to shit-loads of our timewasters but the HCPC take a dim view of that sort of thing. Just ask Harold Shipman.
9
The only reason I know anything about this bloke is because of the bad press over some dance routine, knee on the neck bollocks.
The didn’t appear to be very diverse in terms of colour but we can let that pass however some dance routine on a family entertainment show with links to the death of George Floyd (dead man walking) doesn’t say much for the intelligence of these cunts.
The term racist is used like toilet paper, wipe your arse and throw it down the shitter, everybody is racist to some extent and it’s not just about colour, there isn’t anything wrong with being racist it’s fucking normal and blacks are just as racist as whites.
21
@cuntspotter
Well written nom-bravo👍👍👍
12
I’ve never heard of this little shitbag but he looks like a poster boy for the Boko Harum Children’s Army.
14
He’s obviously taken Sophie Duker at her word.
8
I see he’s wearing Adidas, official sportswear brand of the third Reich. Did he bear that in mind in regards tothe murder of Senagalese POW’s in 1940 or the remainder languishing in ‘frontstalag’. Cunt.
12
Probably prizes his VW or Audi too the useless thick cunt.
True talentless trash like this who make it rich in the UK then constantly moan about living here make me want to be sick with their champagne hypocrisy.
13
Him and his band are utter cunts. I wait for the bunch of right-on pricks to do a dance in memory of the murdered Sgt Ratana on this weeks cuntfest.
I have never considered myself racist, I wouldn’t last two minutes in my job if I was, (intolerant is completely different!), but, the way things are going, I find myself being shoved in that direction. And that is very sad.
21
@ DCI Gene Cunt
i know what you mean as to being shoved into the racist camp. I just see things nowadays that’s inverted white racism and it scares me.
But at the same time, i am so angry at my Liberal beliefs are being questioned and stomped upon.
At least now i know what side these fuckers have put me into.
Well done you cunts.
8
A superbly eloquent cunting there, Cunt Spotter.
Another useless non-person from the world of, ahem, “entertainment”.
The carousel of repetitive unoriginal shite purveyed for decades on the Saturday night idiot box spawns thousands of cunts like this.
12
Can someone please tell me what that photo represents? He just looks a total cunt trying to look hard. Wanker.
13
It’s a monkey soldier.
9
This 21st Century Minstrel Show Sambo is such a cunt that even I’ve heard of him here in the states.
There was a story here that he did a “tribute” to George Floyd, Black Lives Matter, Po-leese be bad dance on British TV.
Really? Well I have a few questions for Mr. Bo-fucking-jangles. Before your performance:
Did you get high on fentanyl? George Floyd did.
Did you mix in some methamphetamine? George Floyd did.
Did you try to pass counterfeit money? George Floyd did.
Did you resist arrest? George Floyd did.
This fucking Ghetto Rat is just another disconnected from reality celebretard, who’s too stupid to know the facts, and too delusional to realize that nobody cares about his virtue signalling, Ubangi tribal dance troupe.
By the way, look at that fucking picture. Is this cunt playing “paintball” in his G.I Joe pajamas?
32
Good morning/evening General Cunster.
As a very young child, I remember seeing a street performer with a group of dancing 🐒. They wore little waistcoats and Moroccan Fez hats. They were jigging about on leads whilst the organ grinder did his thing. Someone with a Polaroid camera was taking lots of money of white tourists.
Half a century later and nothing has changed🤔
19
Sorry to dispute what you said CG but something has changed. Banjo and his group of dancers don’t have tails.
2
And also another one, General. For Mr. Bo-fucking-jangles…
Did you point a loaded gun at the stomach of a pregnant woman, threatening to kill her and her unborn baby while your ‘bruthas’ ransacked her house and belongings? Leaving the woman in a state of shock and trauma to this day? Saint Chicken Floyd George did.
‘Banjo’ (for fuck’s sake) is just a pig ignorant cunt eulogising and cashing in on another (dead) pig ignorant cunt.
18
How DARE you (© Greta Thunderbirds) cloud the issue with facts, you fucking racist! Everybody knows that it’s all our fault.
12
I don’t get this modern world.
If, as a teenager I’d said to my mates, “Hey guys, why don’t we start a dance group..?” I’d have been called a bent cunt and given a kicking.
As for George Floyd, he’s no loss. Something his family probably agree with as they now have $15m from some go fund me shit….
23
An unusual departure from the relentless but excellent slew of choice gags, JR, and a refreshing one at that. You’re not the reincarnation of the great Bob Monkhouse by any chance?
4
You’re too kind TT…
As for reincarnation, I don’t believe in it. What’s the point in coming back as a tin of milk….
9
Reincarnation, eh? I must admit I am sceptical. But if there is such a thing, I would like to come back as Hayley Atwell’s loofah.
4
Only dancer I knew when I was younger was Bez. And he only did it because he was off his tits and it was (for him) better than working.
10
Bez… He truly didn’t give a shit back then. As you say he danced for his own enjoyment. Talking of the Mondays the collaboration with Karl Denver was pure gold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6OTMcCRb2c
1
Right on with that cunting – nothing would give me more pleasure than not having to watch this tripe and those two cunts Ant and Dec prancing around like a couple of over excited school kids every week.
Prior to the Banjogate affair even my daughter said ‘but daddy a lot of this on here is boring to watch’ and the evening in question she was asking me all types of awkward questions, are the police really that bad daddy, why is it they are showing all white people as bad.
I felt like saying don’t worry darling in some countries in Afrikkkka they’re all killing each other anyway so not all honkys are bad – there’s good and bad in everyone. Besides during the days of balls and chains a lot of the darkeys were just as bad!
What’s made me laugh is poor old bingo banjo is allegedly suffering from mental health issues and the other dark key Aleshaaaah Dicksuck had said she will quit if the show’s bosses apolgise for the backlash – let’s hope they fucking do and send this shite down the sewer where it belongs. Load of fucking wannabees who want their 5 minutes of fame and get rich quick – cunts.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/britains-talent-loses-450k-viewers-22675717
10
DM “the tragic death of George Floyd” sick of hearing that name, who the fuck was he?
9
Oh poor Ashley he is upset, diddums, why do these cunts always cry mental elf when things don’t go their way.
9
Never mind. Alesha Dick suck can make a few bob by standing on a stool and shouting ‘Thomas! Tho-massss!’
But she will never resign anyway. It’s the only thing she can do and the only thing she will ever be known for. The cunt.
7
He can dance his way straight into the oven.
Cunt.
15
Chuck the BLM necklace tart in as well please.
5
Let’s face it, how can anybody named ‘Banjo’ be expected to be taken seriously on anything?
Oh and Mr B, THIS is what real dancers look like….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxPgplMujzQ
6
Bertie had some moves in his day!
6
Never heard of him, did he come from the jungle as the picture suggests?
Goodbye for now.
7
Luckily I have the good sense to avoid Simon Cowell’s relentless helpings of shit that masquerade as ‘entertainment’. I seriously would rather spend a Saturday evening washing down paintwork listening to decent music than watching utter pantywaste such as ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ or ‘X Factor’.
Until now, I have never heard of or happened across this Banjo creature, but I trust the judgement of the nominator and my cunting comrades implicitly and therefore concur Banjo is a bulk-buy cunt.
As noted above ‘banjo’ is a slang term for the frenulum. How apposite.
9
I have genuinely never seen any of these so-called talent shows and really couldn’t care less what sort of twat appears on them.
5
Just heard on the news that the young 7 year old thrown from the the Tate Modern last year is making a steady recovery
As a celebration and a mark of respect
Can we throw this Banjo cunt off the Shard….?
I will even put the net on the ground for him…. so he can’t accuse me of being racist and pulling it away at the last minute
7
15,000 plus complaints to OFCOM about the Deviancy routine – not a thing done.
And if a white dance troupe did a routine about a black cop k*lling a black Man?
“Diversity”? – they don’t even admit the irony.
6
They can’t admit the irony because they haven’t a clue what the word means, one of them just happened to see it written down somewhere and chose it.
8
Oh dear!
My comment seems to have been redacted.
Must have been the words; dancing, cooking pot and missionaries.
Will try to behave in future DA.
6
Ashley Banjo String. Fucking dickhead.
6
Male dancers………….shameful, nuff said.
5
Pleased to say I dont watch this shower of shit either. But for my own peace of mind, if he did a rendition George and and a knee to his head on BGT why did it not end the same way for this cunt as it did for George?
12
Can we look forward to some jig routine regarding the copper shot in Croydon by one of his bros?
8
Knee to his neck please
10
And one to the bollocks ss well
3
I’d rather stick a red hot needle down my japs eye than watch BGT but I did watch the routine and complain to Ofcom once all these shit started.
Not only should BGT apologise answer sack Dickson of Dark Green but they should also redress the balance and let the White Lives Matter dance troupe New KKK Kids on the Block do their String Up A Dark Key dance.
8
Something of an asset to the enemy in a combat zone, I’d say:
1. Camouflage designed for maximum reveal.
2. Finger on trigger, will shoot colleague in front of him.
3. Complete and utter cunt.
2
This dumb creature just leaps around on stage capering for the crowd like a Circus Chimp, then try’s a political stunt on a subject that is way above his limited intelligence, I find it hard to believe that some people think that watching a lump of coal rolling around on the floor passes for entertainment.!
3