Thick people going to University

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Let’s stop pretending everyone needs a degree. They don’t. Half the people on my degree course would’ve been better off leaving school at 16 and stacking shelves or wiping down tables in McDonalds.

Going to university simply prolongs the delusion of them believing they’re ‘gifted’.
I was told by my lecturer in English that three (including me) present out of twenty-odd would’ve been the only ones to get on the course ten years beforehand. The rest of the class bunked off when we called their bluff on a debate on X Factor being a waste of time. They didn’t fancy being humiliated for being thick and took the afternoon off.

I did think about taking an MA but frankly found the idea of going back to university horrifying. It must be more intellectually stimulating feeding Cow and Gate to the cerebrally fucked than being a university tutor in this day and age.

The fact is students are simply not very bright. They don’t even understand the nuances of humour enjoyed by tradesmen. They know nothing about anything and they don’t know how to talk to anyone more than 5 years older than themselves.

They are cunts. Nowadays I tell the prats stupid enough to say ‘well I have a degree in X or Y’ that they’d better ask for their money back because they all seem to have left university more stupid than when they began.

They can’t hack it. On social media they can block or mute you but in real life they can’t do or say a fucking thing. It’s like looking at a dog you’ve shouted at for shitting on the carpet. They simply have no clue how to react.

Too thick for university, too soft for the workplace.

Unkle Terry, stoke the fire…

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

85 thoughts on “Thick people going to University”

  1. Think prince Charles once commented on this?
    ‘Know your limitations’..
    I can inderstand why a dense twat wants to better themselves get a qualification get a decent job etc
    But having commonsense is much better in my book,
    My son went to Uni, graduated, job in science,…
    Gormless as fuck.

    • I think ‘Know your limitations’ was Clint Eastwood in Sudden Impact but it is easy to get him and Prince Charles mixed up. 🙂
      Afternoon MNC

      • “Do ya feel lucky punk?
        Well? Does one?
        😁😁

        Ps
        Wanksock Charle said something about it and got slaughtered in the media!
        Although a bit rich from someone whos basically a glorified benefit sponger.

      • It might have been this you were thinking of (a special warning to wimmin students):

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

        The truth is Anthony Blair wanted 50% of people to go to university so they could be indoctrinated into the SJW Left Gay Transgender BLM world. Like all his other ideas, it was a crock of shit.

      • And the “thick as pigshit” Prince Charles who made private tutors do, er I mean “assist” him in his exams has no right to comment IMO.
        That theme seems to run in the Family – Prince nice but dim got an art qualification by drawing a stick Man 😄
        Get a job cunt!

      • I don’t know whether PC is employing a new PR company but it seems to me that he is coming across as a decent bloke. You can’t help being born into privilege any more than you can help the colour of your skin.

      • I used to rough shoot with a school friend of Prince Big Lugs, up in Cumbria-he was not popular at Gordonstoun, apparently he was regarded as a…..CUNT😀

  2. We are a different breed at Fiddler University. Debonair and well-spoken. Knowledgeable but humble. Committed to the pursuit of excellence.

    Or so the prospectus says.

    The reality in a rundown barn in the arse-end of Northumbria and a ‘library’ consisting of Viz annuals and 1970s copies of Readers’ Wives. Many a sensitive firesher, away from home for the first time, has been traumatised by the Chancellor screaming ‘Tally Ho and fuck off’ as he rides his favourite stallion with reckless speed around the campus.

    My bar tab is astronomical, my Ph.D research minimal.

    • Change readers wives and Viz for ‘Activism’ and ‘campaigning’ no knowledge of the subject required and you have a ‘real’ university 😂

    • The idea of setting up a Seat of Learning came to me after watching “Nicolas Nickelby” on the Old Film Channel…Dotheboys Hall was the template for my educational establishment.

      I actually toyed with the idea of changing my name to “Wackford Squeers” but was frightened that the more common and crass elements on this site might make cruel jokes at my expense…. “Dick Fiddler” I shall remain…no way that any plebby ruffian can misconstrue that name.

      PS….Charles Dickens was a miserable old Cunt..I’ve never read any of his books but the films that have been made of them are a right bundle of doom and gloom. His works should be consigned to the dustbin of history where they belong…along with anything dribbled out by that word-mangling,windbag/Wanker, Shakespeare.

      Afternoon Mike
      Afternoon All

      • Reading books os a waste of time isnt it Dick?
        A magazine ok, but why bother with some book when you can watch the tv show of it?
        I sometimes go to book burnings, marxist,BLM, neo nazi, doesnt bother me which as long as theyre burning books.
        Never trust a man who reads
        Pol pot knew this, thats why he tried to get people into gardening.
        Did anyone thank him?
        Did they fuckers like.

  3. I went to ‘yooni’ a few years back. Some of the cunts wrote like I did when I was about eight. One asked what an essay was. Another asked me how to write an address on an envelope. He’d already stuck his stamp on the A4 sized envelope. In the middle.

    A lecture got potted for being ‘too harsh’ with his marking. Only myself and one other we’re getting ‘firsts’ for our assignments. A lot were close to failing.

    In came his replacement (after loads of diverse wailing) and thick cunts were getting firsts or 2:1s. The replacement was a proper Marxist type who tried to organise a trip to France to pay homage to BAME soldiers in WW2. Not the honkies though.

    He thought loads of peacefuls and other types would sign up. No fucker did, the silly twat.

    If he’d organised it to pay homage to all the soldiers a few of us would’ve gone, but he said enough was already being done to remember those soldiers. It was arranged with some army cunt as well.

    Twats.

    • Ruff@
      Your mentioning of ice cream subliminally mafe me buy some earlier,
      (Cornish clotted cream)
      Don’t want to embarrass you but think really you should pay for it, being your idea and all!!
      Only 3quid, can either post it or set up a bank transfer?

      • You should thank your lucky stars you found any ice cream at all Miserable. In the whole of Portmeirion there was only 2 litres of Wall’s vanilla soft scoop this morning!

        Lady Creampuff is now badgering me to go to Iceland and get her a stockpile of ‘Belgian Majestic’ lollies. I’d be amazed if they have any.

        (Vanilla ice cream will be banned soon – racist! Day Admin)

      • Vanilla pods are black on the outside, lighter within. Does that make them Unkle Toms?

  5. This nom is spot-on.

    Back in the day man only 10% of the population went to uni and they went on to become doctors and real professionals. The country could afford to educate the best for free.

    Enter the “people’s prime minister” Tony Fecking Blair who announces that he wants this to rise to 50%. Well, half the population can not be the elite and so we got the inevitable watering down of standards and degrees. Every sodding poly and college was turned into a “uni” . Degree courses such as “golf course management” were invented. The result is that we now have a generation leaving “uni” (you have to shorten it as they can’t handle three syllables) who can’t write, spell or even speak coherently. That’s what happens when you open the floodgates.

    What we need are proper practical training courses when people can learn a trade. Not paper qualifications in useless subjects which are meaningless in the real world.

  6. There’s always been this proportion of cretins, the boomers were no different except for the fact they got grants instead of loans.

    There used to be a higher percentage of jobs available and ones that didn’t require degrees because they’d train you up which no one does now. Degrees are also used to simply filter people out. It’s total bullshit.

    As for tradesmen, assuming they even speak english, they are not exactly refined individuals either. It’s always ‘I’m the dogs bollocks’ attitude. No, you’re just bollocks. Now get back in your shitty van and go play with your screwdriver set you cunt.

    • Yeah there’s a few tradesmen like that. Usually the ones who think those patronising adverts for builders merchants/skip hire with a ‘me ol’ bamboo’ jingle and Cockney/Essex bloke ‘givin’ it large’ are brilliant.

      No, it was made by posh media cunts who hate the working man.

  7. Once again it is this sense of entitlement that makes many kids think they should go to university. At the moment, all of this is being reinforced further by the farce of grades given for this years ‘A’ level results.
    Due to the outcry of grades being moderated, you can now choose your own exam results from a triple lock! – either accept the moderated grade or the result you had for your mock exam or resit.
    There can’t have been a more gormless Education Secretary than the present incumbent, Frank Spencer.

  8. Well let them get high grades, but they should realise the basic laws of economics and supply & demand.

    Thousands of graduates with Firsts in a subject will only push down demand, and thus salaries. So it will be a employer’s market with all these dumb graduates competing amongst themselves.

    Although no doubt the virtue signallers will come up with some discrimination/diversity bollocks suggesting that BAMEs will get a raw deal etc.

    • All comes back to the fact that we have a shit job market in this country and poor compensation for all jobs relative to the cost of housing.

      First it was ‘get everyone to uni’ under Blair. Then came the grade inflation. Then number of qualifications inflation. All used to disguise the fact, again, that this country has a shite job market.

      They do the same fudging with house prices to occlude the dire state of our economy and hypnotize the plebs into believing their poorly constructed hutch is worth x4 what it should be.

      This country is managed by cunts.

      • ‘Managed’ being the word that applies to the twats who are elected into the triumvirate of lib lab and con.

        All managerial class and lawyers, trained in newspeak and declining standards at Oxbridge (good old PPE) with no leaders or statesmen.

      • If I were (still) an employer, I wouldn’t take any of this years mark your own paper shufflers. I’d take one of last years. Rescue them from McDonalds grease.

      • The company I work for is full of fucking managers. All they seem to do is skype and ‘manage’ spreadsheets, yet their inboxes have 4000 unread emails and their desktops are totally covered in icons. Cunts.

  9. Most people going to “university” come out far stupider than they went in. Learning is simple. All the cannon of human knowledge is in the palm of your hand. Why we need far left gatekeepers to indoctrinate teenagers into stupidity and a failed life is beyond me.Fuck em.

  11. Let’s face it. For the majority, it’s a three year doss, studying such vital things to humanity as eg “the politics of gender re-assignment “ ; delaying the inevitable until a career serving coffee beckons.

    Even in my day 40+ yrs ago there was a classic bit of grafitti scrawled across the bog paper dispenser. It read:

    “Arts Degree Certificate – Help Yourself”

  12. Universities are businesses now, nothing else. Many accept applications irrespective of A-level grades-unconditional offers to applicants with enough “diversity” value, particularly welcome.
    Worthless, valueless courses should be binned.
    Many academics have zero real world experiences.
    The whole system just perpetuates entitlement.
    Cunts!

    • This is of course absolutely true. The old idea that these were places of learning has evaporated, and bums-on-seats has become the only measure of academic success.

      • Many of the academic staff are paying themselves small fortunes whilst moaning about the fees the students have to pay.

  13. Spot on nomination. However, I think it applies more to the arts side than the hard sciences. There’s been a proliferation of easy-option and multidisciplinary courses in order to suck in the gormless cunts who would otherwise require feeding and housing some other way, and a vast drop in standards, both at admission and on the courses. A rational society would establish its actual needs, subsidise courses supplying those needs (eg engineering, policing, nursing) and subject the rest to the whims and vagaries of the free market. Anyone hoping for a BSc in ten-pin bowling should fucking well have to pay for it up front, and bugger any question of a discount loan to fund it.

    Though an MSc or PhD by research is probably still worth the (considerable, compared to any first degree) effort, if the notion takes you.

    • Where do you draw the line on what is deemed useful or not. ‘Basket weaving’ is funny and all but it’s not that black and white. Do we really want nothing but engineers and doctors? Those fields will get over saturated then too. Even now engineers get paid fuck all in the UK despite their skills and ‘talent shortage’ and doctors get worked into an early grave.

      The job market is shit, you can’t escape that fact.

      • I think drawing some sort of line is necessary, but it certainly won’t be perfect, however it’s done. What do we NEED vs what it might be nice to have if we could afford it? Obviously priorities will differ, but it seems plain awkward to say that addressing a crucial skill shortage shouldn’t be done because it will create a surplus at some unknown time in the future. Surely? As we are currently importing foreign doctors hand-over fist, improving the UK’s training output would go some way towards reducing the hours MDs have to work, ditto nurses after Blair and his successors effectively halted UK nurse training. Meanwhile, given that the most successful conmen in industry never went near a business studies course, how about letting the market in there* and offering these would-be suits the chance to show their entrepreneurial skill by funding their own fucking ticket to the boardroom? Might improve the quality of the teaching, too.

        *The Peoples’ Republic of China already pays us big bucks for stamping out BS** graduates…

        **pun intended

      • The only reason being given for the high levels of immigration into the UK is that ‘we need the skills’ ; surely that is a sign of a failing education system?

      • You make an excellent point loud and clear (and twice), BigChunkyCunty; less clear is what you might propose by way of a response to that (relative) decline of “job prospects” you so concisely depict. I’d certainly be more than diverted by a cogent reply to that.

        Komodo’s avowals, on the other hand, are of a different type. Those arguments, although ostensibly notionally related – & one would fain say refreshingly entirely on-topic – are in fact categorically [the literal usage] different to the shrunken employment environment in UK.

        K’s comment, although perhaps more worthy of discussion than the usual (and valid) mockery about the numerical count of James “Cordon Bleu” Corden’s chins, is uncharacteristically rather less compelling, although possibly better-informed, relevant and accessible.

        Think yourselves lucky. Whereas, so I’m told, the weather across England is stiflingly muggy this week, it won’t last. Here in the home of sunglasses, nuclear explosions and grass skirts it’s like this routinely.

        For all the spin and hype and marketing BS these Septics are masters at
        – you can’t beat an airconditioned office in Brize Norton.

      • It’s a shitshow, Jack Lord. I don’t think we can fix the job market even. We could make it better by increasing manufacturing, agriculture, and digital sectors, and get ready to export our shit to africa and developing nations.

        But fact is we are now reaching the limit of our system, domestically and globally. We can’t all be winners in a pyramid scheme.

  14. It’s like the current shit storm over A-level grades. It should be pointed out that A level grades mean fuck all and the yoonies will accept them anyway because they are just businesses rather institutes of academic excellence.

    Love the description of the youth, too, Cuntamous. I really can’t stand working with these vacuous know it all self-entitled cunts. Having got a degree then joined the Army, I’ve seen a lot of life and the world. Makes me a bit right wing, too, which really winds up these cry babies.

    • This years intake will be a credit to society with overinflated grades and entitlement, I feel sorry for those kids who would have done well in the exams being lumped in with the dumb cunts latching onto the chink flu experience.

      • I do too, but modern youth are mostly snowflakes, so theyll enjoy meeting people from different ethnicities, different races etc
        Well theres plenty of chance to enrich themselves working shoulder to shoulder in KFC.
        Good luck for the future brainiac…..😁

  15. I got my O and A levels back in the early 80s, a HND a bit later on; and a BSc degree in computer studies in the 90s. Followed by lots of HP and Microsoft Certifications and Accreditations over the last 20 odd years.

    And yet because the IT market was, and still is, quite saturated, salaries from full-time employers were “competitive” (in other words, cheap). And when outsourcing came all the vogue 10 years ago, salaries in some IT sectors dropped like Flabbott jumping into a swimming pool!

    Funny thing is, I probably earn more being self-employed in the same sector, than I ever managed in the market!

    University is a good stepping stone with the right degree, but you have to expand on that with requisite certifications from – in my case- IT vendors. But sometimes not even that is enough.

    Tough times ahead, methinks

  16. Get rid of the mickey mouse subjects and mickey mouse universities. I did 2 years of something useful at Bolton Inst of Technology which is now probably called the Paddy McGuiness University. It’s not a fucking university despite it’s pretentions and vice chancellor probably on £300k.
    Science, engineering and technology free, subject to rigorous entry requirements. Pay through the fucking nose for the shite.
    We wouldnt have or need the parasites with their woke bullshit, employed by former polytechnics.

    • Best education I ever had was a 1-year Access to Science and Technology course at a Scottish technical college, as a (very) mature student. I’m a lazy cunt, but they didn’t give me a chance to be! It’s shut now, nominally merged with other techs elsewhere in a flurry of Adonis/Blairism, the cunts. Went on to get a degree and a PhD, neither of which were anything like as intensive.

      • Fascinating info, Komodo. Allow me, Admin, to bring other readers up to speed with my own CV. I’m guessing only Komodo will read on, but here goes.

        For me, the analogous “high water mark” in my now largely forgotten educational odyssey was 99/99 in my Associated Board Grade 5 Theory exam, at the advanced age of 13¾. (Necessary to continue to Grade 8 then Diploma (never did the Dip) in piano and organ external exams aged 17).

        Against this backdrop, the reality of getting an undivided Honours from Cambridge (there weren’t enough other students of Dutch) , followed by a useful PGDL from MMU, a shed load of MCSE +++ cock from Bill Gates, and most recently a more challenging (but hugely enjoyable) course at the Open University in maths for fun were indeed a walk in the park, albeit a different park with better fitting shoes.

        How riveting for the rest of this hallowed site! To bore you even further, before my breakfast:

        My own PhD almost ended in a fist fight. I had realised the worthlessness that of my research into aspects of electromagnetism (they were not original, as Paul Drude had already done the hard work in 1906). My DoS insisted there was still research to be done (that’s true, but hardly any) and thereby demonstrated his actual lack of understanding of the subject for which he should have been the supervisor.

        Talk about the “blind leading the blind”. To conclude this preprandial rant: I agree that higher education in the UK is, to a disturbingly advanced degree, increasingly a scam, largely of Tony Blair’s personal creation.

      • Stop feeling sorry for yourself CS!
        Your work is valid.
        Earn a living dont you?
        There you go.
        Cant blame Tony B Liar !
        Your choice to study fridge magnets or whatever it is.
        Just enjoy life.😁

      • No job is secure these days Miserable, even those with a Phd.
        CS’s job as a Pizza Hut Deliveryman is apparently under threat.

      • It appears that I was wrong, even as early as the end of my first sentence.

        I know my work is valid, Les, and I enjoy parts of it too. Like any other, I suppose – although unlike most of my peers, the high level of remuneration does not enhance its perceived validity for me, rather regrettably really.

        I do enjoy aspects of it, and although it often pays embarrassingly well, I really do hate the jetlag which features in my latest investigation. Jam today, or tomorrow… I know not.

        It’s a bit like being an indiscriminate prostitute whereby one day the client is an unemployed psychotic from Abergele, and the next week a wealthy Septic trustafarian in Tampa.

        Funny old world, eh Bertie, but as long as people continue to behave like cunts I’ll be in a job.

      • CS joking aside, if you could with the benefit of hindsight change your career path, what would you do?
        Think id of liked to be a farrier/blacksmith but wasn’t really on the table where I grew up!😁

      • You are Uncle Monty from “Withnail and I” and I collect my £5.

        Please forward my cheque for £5 to:
        Messr H. Steptoe
        24 Oil Drum Lane,
        Shepherd’s Bush
        London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham
        L0N DN15 T4N

        Make sure you label it as soap coupons or something. So that dirty old man of a Dad of mine doesn’t pocket it. The rotten little swine steams open me mail…..you could say “Its disgusting!”

      • Joking aside, MNC, at the moment I’d rather not have been born in the first place.

        I therefore suppose a really honest answer would be along the lines of a chap I knew at Jesus. I’ll withhold his identity for the sake of decency, security, and legality.

        To give a flavour, he was incredibly like this guy who was made “famous” via the 7-Up television series in UK. (nothing to do with the eponymous soft beverage you enjoy/despise MNC, just to pre-empt.

        My erstwhile friend and fellow undergraduate at Jesus College has gone on to greatness. Although, as I’m reliably informed, he continues to be unlucky in love. His third wife “walked away” with 25 million. In contrast, my ex-wife left me with a cash ISA worth £6 000 twenty years ago. I now have a gem of extreme lustre for a girlfriend, who if she left me tomorrow I’d be grateful if she accepted that as severance.

        Funny old world.

      • Do you know CS I rather naively thought being wealthy was key to happiness, but some of my customers have more money than I could earn in two lifetimes,
        But theyre unhappy.
        Whereas Im not.
        So even though its a cliche money doesnt buy happiness!
        Surround yourself with good people, loyal people, and you cant go wrong!😳
        Maybe get a akita😁

        P.s.
        As Well as you some other bloke comes on under different avatars,
        The lads on here think your one and the same,
        But its obviously not.
        Do you know who he is?
        Hes not as friendly as yourself.
        👍👍👍

      • I don’t think so Bertie.
        Ive talked to him before, seems a decent enough bloke, theres definitely another bloke who gets a bit nasty, ive talked to him too, but hes wary, not as open.
        Felt a bit sorry for CS
        Rather not of been born is a terrible thing to feel isnt it?
        You well Bertie?
        Seen your grandchildren?

  18. Those teaching Engineering, Business, Law or Medicine could probably earn more in their sector. But for some reason all teachers are lumped together as teaching professionals, whether its delivering courses on buttering toast, rocket science or Media Studies. If the tutor salary was based on an industry average, then we might lose all the nonsense courses.
    Make the useful course free with harder entry criteria and double the fees of all the shite courses.
    I’m not sure how much someone is on working on Diversity and Inclusivity in Communist states, or Pan-pipe manufacture at altitude, but I’m sure the only place you find such things is at a UK Yooney Bin

  19. I spent a couple of years a night school getting professional qualifications after I left school.

    I hated school and ditched the last couple of years, prefering to work as a cash in hand labourer on building sites.

    I now earn more than any twat who went to a Blair indoctrination centre, purely by being able to communicate across the board and knowing my subject inside out due to hands on experience.

    I have sacked people with degrees for being utterly fucking useless in a real world situation.

    And no. I don’t want fries with that.

  20. Thick kids go to University – and come out as fully fledged Marxist communists with an astonishing sense of undeserved entitlement and a hatred of our Country.

  21. Great cunting, i totally agree,how many times have i heard i have a degree in social media, sociology or the ying and the fucking yang, great cunt now put some cheese on that burger, enjoy the dead end job till your loan is payed off, or if your really unlucky it will be putting kids bikes together at Christmas in Halfords, whilst wondering if you still have to pay your loan if your on the dole, fuck me my Jack Russel has a degree in barking like a demented cunt from Cardiff uni, easy to get,worth fuck all and a waste of three years, he,s applying to Kwik fit as i write this…..

    • My experience of the quality of the staff at Kwik Fit suggest he’ll be ideal management material.

  22. If you ever appear on a quiz programme on the TV, then if you’re on The Chase then you hope there isn’t one. If you’re on Tipping Point, you hope there are three of them! They are universally the dimmest of people who have absolutely no right to expect anything other than a life of debt!

  24. I’ve got to work with these feck wits. One girl with a BA in international politics did not know what the world trade centres were !! University of today is for thick people who are trying to pretend otherwise…

  26. Yep I could not agree more. By pretending everyone has the right to university it has just devalued the whole affair. It should be for the people worthy of it. I always knew I was shit, thats why I left school and got a job at 16. I have a nice house, a small mortgage, a business and various assets now. Plus a lovely family.

    I always saw it as a con, I believed giving all these people loans and allowing so many to fuck off to uni was simply a way of stimulating the economy. Imagine the money that gets spent by these cunts. My brother went and he is a useless cunt.

  27. Better off doing appreterships. I did a five year HNC in Civil Engineering and earnt while I learnt. I know loads of engineers with degrees. All theory and no practical experience. All need loads more training once they get a job to be useful.

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