Shane Warne (2)

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Not content with being aggrandised to demi-god status by his fellow scum and simpletons soley for his bunging of small round things, were-walrus Warnie has launched a fragrance imaginatively called ‘SW23’.

In the ads he wears an expensive jacket and a flash watch, as if he were the summit of sophistication and not actually a sub-literate sex-pest monkey-man entirely made from spoiled pork products and crowned with a syrup crow-barred off the cranium of Princess Di’s spunk-swollen corpse.

Frankly, I’d sooner scent myself with WD40 than SW23, but I can’t help wondering what you cunters suppose his tinned stink smells like?

Nominated by: Chimp Licker

45 thoughts on “Shane Warne (2)”

  3. Can’t believe Liz Hurley let this Antipodean Arsehole place his winkie inside her exquisite love haven. Err, same goes from Hugh Grunt also. Fuck knows what is going on in that girl’s noggin.

    Didn’t Warne have some Elton John kind of punch graft to his thinning dome? Looks like he acquired Andy Warhol’s and Tony Blackburn’s cast-off syrups, sewed them together and Bostiked them to his nut.

    What a cunt!

    • Wasn’t the game of ‘hide the sausage’ a fabricated pr stunt to boost both has-beens and to have an excuse for Warnie’s doll thatch and bleached grinders?

      If the perfume is an authentic Australian whiff it’ll have the odour of bad losers, sweat dripping from a bogun’s unwashed singlet, cheap whiskey from Abbos berating everybody in the park, the stench of piss-flavoured lager from a b.o.-themed bar, and burnt barbecued kangaroo corpse. The Convicts will love it.

      (Warne was a bloody good bowler though. Fair dinkum, Shoine)

      • Some Abbos handbag goon would be more appealing to the less fussy Aussie lady than Shanes ‘Scent of Bogan toe jam’ and definitely cheaper.

      • Aww, Libbie ya young yahoot. You won’t be feeling so grouse when ya cop a load o’ Shoine’s perfume! Like a crack-gurgling whore’s Ugg Boots mingled with Mel Gibson’s cheesy budgie-smugglers, moite!

        You’ll be cracking the shits and wishing the Chínky Flu had conked aaat yer sniffin’, moite.
        Aww Fuck yeeh, ya hoon.

      • (Shudder) It puts me in mind of the nausea from the morning after the night before from a night out in the Cross in the early 2000’s Cap. I saw a YT video recently of the Cross from last year, Saturday night 12.00am and it should have been heaving but absolutely dead.

      • Cross got fucked due to lock down laws. Which where brought in cos every cunt was knocking every other cunt out. Shame cos the Cross was always a fun night out with never a dull moment.

      • Capt,
        Warney’s more popular here then he is Down Under!
        Australia is Woke Central these days only just behind NZ so the geezers you describe are few and far between sadly.
        Once shook Warney’s hand after play. The same hand that lubed up Liz Hurley’s fanny. If only I’d known that then.

  4. Warne has always been the epitome of your flash okker, and a proper cunt. But let’s face it lads, anybody who can get in Liz Hurley’s aromatic panties has got to have something going for him.
    The cunt.

  5. He’s an Australian born before 1980, so he isn’t a cunt by default, but he acts the cunt so he must be a cunt, but he is a reasonable cricketer which lowers his cuntitude slightly, so he’s a light to moderate cunt!

  6. Isn’t he Australian? He’s the height of sophistication for an Oz bloke, almost a Sheila.

  7. SW23
    SW stands for smelly wombats. I imagine 2 is a number two, as in shit.
    I can’t work out what the 3 is, unless it’s the amount of real hairs he has left on his bonce.

    • I’m given to understand #1 =a piss #2 =a dump #3 = a wank.
      Therefore SW23 should translate to :
      Shit Wank Shit Wank.
      Don’t think I’d by it.

  8. Great bowler to be fair, but the ugliest vain cunt in history. Botox, hair transplants, facelifts the lot. Not the best commentator too. He’s not as funny as he thinks he is either.

    Tactically, I can see why he made a poor captain. I remember him moaning that England should be more positive and go for the win when a draw would win England the Ashes a few years back. Going for the win on the day would’ve been very risky (and pretty pointless) but he wasn’t having it. I remember the normally reserved Michael Atherton having a row with himon air about it. Clueless and yes, how the fuck did he get his winky in a prime Liz Hurley, the lucky cunt?

    To be honest, they should all be in prison where they belong anyway. It’s in their genes, the thieving cutthroat buggers.

    • Rod Marsh: So how’s your wife and MY kids?
      Ian Botham: The wife’s fine, the kids are retarded

      • What was the other one?
        Rod Marsh: “you putting on some weight”
        Botham . “Yes I’ve been doing your wife. Every time I fuck her she gives me a biscuit”

      • That was to Mc grath. Just after or just near his wife’s cancer diagnosis. Would close a game down these days.

  11. Feeling the love. Maybe youse soap dodging Poms should buy his koala piss in a bottle to cover up that you only wash twice a year 😜

    • Heehee!😁
      Shack I like aussies really like their no nonsense approach an can do attitude!
      But you were backing that yank slagging off dear old England on the last nom so im not as sympathetic as Id normally be!😁👍👍

      • The yank wasn’t slagging off England, Miserable, he was taking issue with Miles’s bonkers nom.

    • 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

      I like Australia and I like Australians. Warney was captain at Hampshire and he made them a more positive team, compared to the likes of boring Mark Nicholas who seemed happy to draw every game.
      Seems a few are envious that Warne bedded Liz Hurley, a shame as he seemed to lose his way when he got together with her.

  12. Great bowler,the delivery that demolished Mike Gattings wicket was just tremendous.
    However he can stick his perfume up his arse and Fuck Off.
    He looks like a game show host the daft cunt.

  16. Always wanted to lick Liz Hurleys’ fragrant clitoris but no more.
    She can just forget any thoughts of that happening now.
    However much she begs.

    • Gods job too-I reckon any lad banging Liz would glance at the wardrobe/open en suite/bedroom door a see Hurley junior- that creepy loon and mummy looky-likey, grinning maniacially whilst masturbating frantically.
      Probably😂

      • Holy shitbags, I just had a glance at her son! Who the fuck’s the father, the whole of Spandau Ballet?

      • The father was Steve Bing. Fumble in the laundry cupboard with yo-yo knickers Hurley. Job done.

        Multimillionaire low key yank. He walked into that one. Bing died a few months ago. Obits were surprisingly positive given the opprobrium he got for dumping Our Liz

  17. ….bowling Warney!!!

    To be fair, ball of the century it certainly was. Pommy hating cunt though and no mistake.

  18. If it smells like Liz Hurley, after she’s been bouncing around on a latex space hopper, wearing only a crotchless, fishnet bodystocking, I want a 45 gallon drum of the stuff, and I want it NOW !
    Good evening.

    • In “That Dress” maybe Jack?

      Watch out for those safety pins.

      (and her spooky son!)

  19. I thought SW23 was a swanky part of Sarf Londonistan but it appears that the SW postcode only goes up to 20. Don’t know anything about cricket but this Oz poof just wasted 5 minutes of my time looking that up. What a cunt!
    (Both of us I mean)

  21. Saw this in the shops last week, fucking Warnie on a aftershave hahahahah ffs who chooses these cunts?
    Looking around further i saw Ronaldo aftershave, Beyonce perfume fucking Barcalona aftershave!!! Britney,Paris Hilton!!! don’t these cunts have enough money without having to endorse a fucking pong?
    Shane Warne’s a tricky one i have seen him be a massive cunt, then again after a few beers and the ego drops seems a normal fella who like the rest of us has a healthy hatred of the Waugh brothers.
    Still he is an Aussie so is a cunt.

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