“I love you! I hate you! I love you!”

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I shouldn’t get personal. There’s a neighbour. Every week she’s either shouting on the phone or in person to her boyfriend.

One week it’s “I love you!” The next week it’s “I hate you!” It keeps going and going.

She’s at it now as I type this.

I keep wanting to give her the number to Samaritans and MIND. But at the same time I should keep my distance.

It is upsetting but it is annoying as well.

Nominated by: Spoonington 

28 thoughts on ““I love you! I hate you! I love you!””

  1. Sounds like an ex of mine.
    A fucking psycho, she was.
    Probably in a loony bin now, or dead.
    Either way, I don’t give a fuck.

  2. Women, nothing else really (except black women, now they are psycho, it’s no wonder they get knocked up and the father fucks off)

  3. Women are strange creatures, if you can accept they’re irrational and devoid of logic you’ll do ok

  4. The Irish couple who live next door have been rowing for months on end.
    I saw the husband in the pub recently and he apologised for the noise and explained that his wife is just so frustrated, as she’s desperate for a baby and just cant fall pregnant and the pressure is taking its toll.

    I said, “Have you considered using IVF..?”

    He said, “I think the wife would consider anything at the moment, although I’m not sure how a loyalist paramilitary group could help”….

    • Fucking IVF bollocks.
      Tell him to tie her naked to a lamp-post in Brixton on a Friday night , with a flashing orange light on her head.
      If it isn’t pregnant by the morning , then I’d be surprised.

  5. Has her boyfriend moved in with you and your sister,Dolly ? Are you engaged in some sordid ménage à trois ? Won’t she accept her boyfriend’s new liberated lifestyle ?

    Kick her in the Cunt and tell her to Fuck Off.

    • Make your move Spoons!
      The gods favour the bold!
      Women crying? Get the johnnies out!!👍👍
      Tell her shes too good for him and book that holiday to Minge for the honeymoon.😁

    • Dicky, MNC, King C, I wouldn’t dare think of doing such thing.

      I’m happy with my tea and cake.

      If I one day get the urge and want to go wild, I might even have TWO slices of cake with CLOTTED CREAM. But that is a rarity.

      • Honestly Spoons I think you and B&WC should do a buddy film like trading places, where you swap lives for a week or two.

        I’d watch it. Got to be better than most of the bilge hollyweird churns out nowadays.

  6. Had a friend who had a retirement home and I used to do his wages. Employed a Scouse girl who kept throwing herself at me despite the fact she had a boyfriend.

    I ended up fucking her (she had wonderful tits) when boyfriend was away and thought that would be it.

    A few days later I’m in the pub playing darts when she comes in and tells me his going back to Liverpool but loves me. Fucking dart hit the floor! Told her she can’t love me after one night and she run out crying.

    It was then I thought crikey are all women mental.

    Thank God I met the girl who was to be Mrs Mitten. 13 years younger than me and doesn’t nag me at all. There are a few good ones out there, you just have to get through the Psychos first.

    • Should be that she loves me.

      Fuck me, if it was him, I think the dart would have gone in the opposite direction!

      • Hahaha!😁
        Glad you cleared that up Fish Mitten!
        “Alrite dere la, youse shagged my bird like and dat, well like der Beatles sang ‘we love you’!!!

      • Would have made a far more interesting story wouldn’t it MNC.

        The scouse accent isn’t my favourite, which is why it took me awhile to succumb to her charms in the beginning.

      • Sounding like Cilla Blacks a drawback in the bedroom I guess, but glad she stuck to form,
        Cheated an misbehaved,..
        Shes the victim!!!☺

  7. My Scouse great grandfather is in a home in Liverpool at the moment.
    Amazing really, 90 years old and still an active burglar….

  8. I know the feeling, Spoon. I once lived in a flat and this teenager moved into the flat above. She had one feller after another living with her and she couldn’t do anything quietly, whether it was laughing or crying. Her place was like a disco with music playing non-stop. I politely mentioned it to her several times. One day it was even louder than usual, the next day she explained that she turned it up so that she could hear it while she was in the bath. Eventually I complained about her and got other people to do the same until they got rid of her. Apart from being thoughtless, immature, unstable and on drugs, she was the perfect neighbour.

  9. Either she’s an Ophelia type or she requires a bit of monkey love. If the former, steer well clear; if the latter, accommodate her Señor Spoonio.

  10. Go and knock her door and stick your knob through the letterbox and tell her to get sucking…she probably wants a bit from you Spoonington.
    👍🏽

  11. It’s the one situation where you wish the cunt would take to Twitter to rant and rave.

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