OK, I am of an age where I associate EVs with milk floats. I was even a Saturday boy on a round (one of 3 jobs I did to earn pocket money (Cue, old Hovis TV ad music – Day Admin)) and we always had a mug of tea and a piece of cake waiting for at the nursing home (oooooh matron).
But it isn’t just that – I can’t see the logic in them. Economic? Not to buy. Even with a £2K subsidy they are darned expensive. Practical? Not if the battery (which is the size of D. Flabott’s backside) runs out leaving you stranded. Even if you reach a recharging station in time you’ll probably have to queue up and spend hours there. Range anxiety is still a real issue. Eco-friendly? Manufacturing new cars involves massive resources. And how exactly are 30 million EVs supposed to plug into the national grid? If we all go electric how will the power plants cope?
I have an old petrol car which will take me anywhere at any time in the safe knowledge that I can refill within 5 minutes. There is no better form of personal transport. Don’t talk to me about bloody bikes – I live 10 miles from the nearest lamppost. Four wheels for me thank you.
I can see some sense in hybrids but they will also be banned from manufacture in 2035 won’t they? And they aren’t really that good when you consider that the petrol engine is lugging a huge battery around or vice versa. It’s like carrying a spare engine in the boot.
The internal combustion engine had a century of evolution and reached a very high standard of efficiency with much lower emissions and far greater economy than even 10 or 20 years ago. I think ditching it will be a shame and that EVs will struggle to be a viable alternative.
Now if we could only harness the hot air which emits from politician’s mouths (Caroline Lucas especially) then we would have a great new and inexhaustible form of energy.
Nominated by: Lord Helpuss
Electric/hybrid cars, their environmental impact and fuel efficiency perfectly summed up by the Top Gear team:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F04MXepYiBs
So fuck off Greta!
20
Current UK electricty generation :-
Renewables 47% or 141.9 TW ( TerraWatts )
Gas 31.4% or 94.8 TW
Nuclear 15.1% or 45.6 TW
Coal 3.8% or 11.5 TW
Oil and other 2.7% or 0.8 TW
1 TerraWatt = 1000 GigaWatts = 1 Million MegaWatts
= 1000 Million KW
The majority of UK renewable electricty generation is via windfarms, which are of course, weather dependent.
12
And renewable electricity can’t be stored. If you factored in storage, it is significantly more expensive than nuclear. The whole thing is bollocks, but the silly cunts are set on this path. The reality will be (as ever) the rich elite town dwellers having electric cars, while us plebs will have to walk, cycle or use expensive and unreliable public transport.
4
Lord Helpuss, you nomination and mention of milk floats reminded me of father Dougal and his new job.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4uOX_hbkAMc
8
That woman was in the nip!
4
Electric cars?
All the rare, expensive and environmentally destructive materials used for the batteries mined in the third World (away from prying eyes) for companies owned by the Chinese, initial processing, transported, secondary processing, transported, manufactured in third World sweatshops, transported around the entire World on container ships, transported around the recipient Countries by diesel lorry. All so Jocasta and Tarquin can feel smug as they are driving their Nissan Leaf (new price ten gargantuzillion Pounds) for a soy latte.
The UK has enough rivers to provide 100% of our energy needs, and the electric can be used to split water into hydrogen and oxygen, said hydrogen can be coupled to an electric motor and used as fuel – it creates an electrical charge as it changes from liquid to gas. Clean energy provision at source,no emissions whatsoever, and as there is a permanent charge much smaller, simpler and cheaper batteries can be used with cheaper and less destructive materials.
An advantageous benefit is also that hydrogen can be used in place of natural gas, so we can tell Stephen Kinnock lookalike Putin to shove his gas up his arse (so to speak) and be self providing in terms of energy.
If someone as thick as me can work this out why can’t the Government?
31
Because those people in the government that haven’t reached a level of thickness that the average person can only imagine need to promote technologies that they have their money in.
10
Completely correct Moggie – like “Walter the softy” Jacob Rees-Mogg and his dodgy business deals and investments with some Russian energy companies – that’ll teach those commies a lesson eh Lord Snooty!
As an addendum to my previous post, the rivers would have hydroelectric generating stations on them (dirt cheap to build and install, basic reliable proven technology) and do away with our need for nuclear fuel plants owned by the frogs and run by the yellow peril.
And whoever suggested replacing engines with two strapping black fellows controlled by the “lash-o-matic” patented whipping device connected to the accelerator should be ashamed of themselves!
Rotters! 😢
17
Sorry Vern, hydrogen is also pie-in-the-sky. It’s dangerous due to the phenomenal pressure it needs to be stored at, requires huge amounts if energy to make it and requires its own special infra-structure due to metal embrittlement.
3
Forgot to add – Greta – shut the fk up until you actually do some research, get some facts and know what the hell you are talking about!
Mental Swedish tramp with a foghorn for a mouth.
33
These are just the new version of the Sinclair C5.
Useless.
I love the smell of diesel and petrol its the smell of industry running!
I know it works whereas anything electrical tends to have bad nerves an dies around me.
Theyll be a absolute nightmare, If I damage a wing mirror on my van?
Scrapyard £20, fit it myself.
Missus kuga? Auto electrician and fannying about probably £150.
Thats progress,-=bollocks.
So what are these going to cost to run?
20Dcell batteries a week?
Shove it up yer arse and choke on my diesel fumes…
14
Can’t think of the C5 without seeing the Spitting Image of Clive wheeling around with that squeaky sound. Classic.
7
I would love to see a tv debate where a proper scientist rips the silly child a new arsehole by asking her to prove , using mathematics, her arguments. I doubt if she can count beyond 20. Seems cruel to mock her but those who put themselves in the public eye must expect to be examined.
19
The little coloured laddie in the picture should be saying ‘Oh shut the fuck up! You school skiving rubber faced mong!’
15
Sick of Greta Soros, oh sorry I meant George Thundberg, doesn’t matter they’re the same thing!, I’m not getting an electric vehicle which tracks my location so fuck you hippy cunts!
30
An interesting fact also came out about hybrid cars and the cost over their life cycle.
The Americans found that over the lifetime of a standard petrol family saloon, the average cost per mile driven was 50 cents.
This includes purchase cost, fuel, consumables and finally scrapage of car with 100,000 miles on the clock.
For a hybrid, the cost per mile shoots up to $3.50.
The reason for this is all of the nasty chemicals in the batteries cost a fortune to safely dispose of, or recycle.
So, fuck off Greta! I shall continue to drive my sporty little Italian car, safe in the knowledge that it has done a lot less damage to the environment than some smug cunt’s shit pile of a prius.
22
I had a conversation with my mate who is also my mechanic, he is clued up and works also compiling data for the motor industry as his 9-5 job. He pointed out how cheap supermarket fuel completely shags modern engines on cars because it contains none of the important additives, but is still of British standard and still legal. He also went on to explain that a certain German motor company sell electric vehicles but you won’t own the batteries on your vehicle. He then added that when the batteries are knackered that nobody knows what to do with them. Does it seem a little bit like the nuclear submarines sat up in Scotland that have served a purpose but now they are done with they are going to be a ticking time-bomb that people are shit scared of touching so they will be stock-piled at some dump of an outpost here on planet earth.
16
Sorry Rob, your mate is mis-informed. All fuel is to the same standard – it even comes from the same supplier. Neither Shell nir BP have their own refineries in the UK anymore. The “Shell” petrol station is just a marketing brand. They love the “bad supermarket petrol” story as they think it makes people go to them instead. Supermarket fuel us cheap as it’s a loss-leader; they sell it at a loss to get you in the store. I ran a Maserati for years and a high-performance motorbike now, and always use the cheapest fuel, which is usually from the local supermarket.
4
I have heard and seen various stories about this so my mechanic isn’t my only source. I still won’t chance the supermarket stuff. My brother-in-law had supermarket diesel drained from his tank and was a completely different colour from premium quality diesel fuel. I respect your opinion LC. 👍
3
Well I’m not driving around in some glorified spacca-chariot…fucking push-bikers would probably be able to outrun me and that would never do.
11
They would probably have the bikes on the roof rack of their Nissan Leaf DF!
7
My current bugbear is fucking motorhomes with pushbikes strapped on the back….nothing says “I’m a Cunt” more effectively than dawdling along at 30mph, with a queue of traffic stuck behind you,in a mobile Portaloo with a couple of pushbikes strapped on the back.
( I do exempt you from my pedalophobia,Vernon…I like to think that you’re the exception that proves the rule.)
10
Cheers DF – and the funniest thing? The motorhome bikes never get used, just clamped to the back to rust!
Mirrors – useful for this novel thing called “looking behind you to see if you are holding anyone up”, if so, engage in a principle called “pulling over to let them by”!
This would be quite useful if adopted!
But on the plus side, there are shed loads of cyclists who do not have a clue how to service or repair them, so business is very good for me! 😁👍
6
I want one of those motorhomes.
No bicycles though, a posh gyppo lifestyle.
Might come up and visit Dick ? 😁
Park up at yours for a few week.
Use your shower etc.
7
Y’know,secretly I’d quite like one too,Miserable. The idea of just stopping where you wanted and being able to just dawdle off somewhere new when you got sick rather appeals to me.
Feel free to visit Miserable…I’ll park you up in a nice quiet paddock…just be careful of the other occupant..I’d hate to see you bend down to tie your shoelace and discover that Boris the Bull has thought to himself… ” That’s the biggest hairy Cunt I’ve seen in years,I’ll have some of that”,
You may not mind too much but be aware that I will charge you a stud fee.
9
Hehehe, saw a bull in Hayfield other day like a bleedin Rhino!!
Massive!!
Must have steroids in his feed, looked prehistoric.
Long as I can outrun the missus I’ll be fine!😁
5
Nice to see that The Age of Chivalry isn’t dead in The Miserable household.
7
Evening Mr F…I work in the motor racing trade and we regularly get to drive very fast (customers) cars so I’m well used to going fast as fuck. 6 months ago, one of our customers with whom I’m friendly took me out in a Tesla with me scoffing and alluding at his sexual preference. He puts it in “Ludicrous+” mode and…..
…well, fuck me, it was like being shot out of a cannon! 0-60 in well under 3 seconds! Absolutely incredible.
Later in the day, I raced him on a quiet road on my GSX-R1000 and it he was fucking edging ahead of me! I was astonished. Over a ton, the bike started to pull out a lead, but still.
Still wouldn’t own one though, clearly a cunt’s car.
13
Wouldn’t that be the car equivalent of a fighter on afterburner where you get phenomenal acceleration and speed but run out of fuel after 20 minutes?
9
You’re right Moggie…there was even a warning on the dash “Ludicrous+ mode will degrade your car and cause faster wear” or something equivalent.
5
I don’t trust that Tesla fella,Elon Musk…I always think that he seems to be a cross between a Bond villain and Philip Schofield…probably tell you his plans for world domination as he bummed you.
17
Indeed. But at least he’s (slightly) less sinister than Tom Hanks….who’s now a Greek citizen, apparently to escape kiddie-fiddling charges…how true this is…who knows, but there’s no smoke without fire…
https://youtu.be/pH6QoY_9FZo
4
There is sometimes.
Many materials will smoke before reaching their ignition temperature. If oxygen is low or absent, fuels will smoke heavily without igniting.
Evening chaps.
7
He can always plead diminished responsibility!
Run Forrest Run!
Life is like a box of chocolates?
So is hollywood junior school.
3
RTC . . . . . .
I identify you as Cryptic Spedding, falsely signing in as RTC and therefore claim my £5.
😅
3
PS. I hope you’ve not been stealing Jack’s dead pool selections again. I’ve stopped playing it because it’s no longer a bit of fun. Is there any truth in the rumour that you receive 10k if you win it?
2
Bertie@
New series of Whitehouse &Mortimer gone fishing starts tonight!👍👍
1
Evening Bertie.
Not guilty on all counts.
I did however notice a somewhat passive aggressive message was left for Dick in reply to his Dead Pool selections. Quite sad really.
3
@RTC….that’s why I do it.
LOL.
3
Just to briefly interject here, Alberto. Although Ruffers’ argument is of course strictly true (and therefore not without the merit that enjoins), I suspect he demonstrates a wilful – haply, playful – and obstinate refusal to accept the figurative mischief¹ behind the expression “no smoke without fire”.
Although smoke points, flash points, autoignition temperatures and suchlike fall more into the ambit and purlieu of Fireman Sam² than my own, I fear Ruff Tuff fails to address that (as a general rule) the production of smoke in any common substance invariably entails subjecting that substance to heat and often in significant measure.
In other words, if one substitutes the word “fire”, with “heat” then “no smoke without heat” becomes once again a strict truism. If one then accepts that the figurative usage of “fire” is so widespread as to be a pedestrian commonplace³, “no smoke without fire” once again becomes strictly true.
I fear Ruffers may have overlooked this glaringly obvious argument.
¹ mischief (rule) here in the legal sense (as against “plain meaning rule” or “golden rule”, aka non liquet or “lacuna in the law”
²Sam himself has been known to “get it wrong” – Grenfell, Lakenal House, Shirley Towers and more recently The Cube in Bolton all spring to mind here
³ a few other idiomatic uses of “fire”
🔫a baptism of fire
🔫to add fuel to the fire (see²)
🔫fire in your belly
🔫go through fire and water
🔫set the world on fire
🔫breathe fire
🔫Fire for dem! (a Jamaican confection)
&c, &c
Hope I haven’t “burned any bridges” here, Ruffers ☘️
6
You still in Ireland CS?
Pleasure or work?
Both?
Couldnt bring me some Rancheros back could you?
RTC a bag too.
Ireland has good crisps.
2
Instant apologies to Fireman Sam. It wasn’t Fireman Sam himself who “got it wrong” – he was grafting away last like a good ‘un as always.
Fireman Samuel, OBE, Sam’s line manage may, however, have a little more to answer for at the Pearly Gates, along with one or two cunts at the Local Council Offices.
Yes I am indeed, Les. I’ll look out for you – and you may well be in luck. As you may already be aware, Tayto™ products enjoy a “certain measure of popularity” over here. To say the least.
2
🎶 Fire of unknown origin took my baby away 🎶
Cheese & Onion will do me Miserable.
1
Nail on the head Mr Fiddler. Elon Musk has his own space programme, I see him as a bit of a Drax from Moonraker. He is and does launch satellites regularly which are up above as we speak. I’ve seen the original 40 or so but apparently there will eventually be 300 plus. If you get bored check out when you can see the things over Northumberland (or wherever you happen to be) as it’s a pretty weird site. A bit like ISAC !
3
Wouldn’t it be nice if Musk and Branson became the first recorded victims of a Space Traffic Accident ?….I’d happily peer through my telescope to watch the pair of them reentering Earth’s atmosphere minus parachute.
* we have some of the clearest skies in the Country up here,Mr.Knott…very little “light pollution” apparently.
6
I’ve been to Northumberland many times Mr F and you’re right about the light pollution. My best view ever of the night sky was on the Isle of Skye, probably because most of its inhabitants are in bed by 10pm and street lighting is thin on the ground.
3
Electric motors generate max power very quickly so when used in a vehicle can be set up to give amazing acceleration. A60 stock on the Metropolitan line of the London underground had various resistors that operated in sequence to prevent wheel-spin when the motorman put the handle to max. The trains rate of acceleration was controlled by these resistors if you knew what to listen for you could hear the three bangs as the speed control operated as the train pulled away. Nothing to do with electric cars but in the spirit of the subject just?
3
Not electric, but just bought a campervan from a Japanese opera singer….Nissan Dormobile….
7
I had one of those things JRC – it was terrible, none could sleep!
Off now, I need horse whipping for that one! 🏃♂️😁
5
When I was a kid, the only emissions that came from the milk float that delivered our milk, was horse shit / piss / wind.
I would gladly go back to those days without a moments hesitation.
The horse was called Toby.
Good evening.
6
Jack the other day I heard something id not heard in years, in the kitchen and heard “Rrragg bonnne..
One of my grandads was a ragbone man,
I honestly expected a horse and cart!
But was a recording on a flatbed truck, gutted😞
2
All gone now MNC. In the next village to us, there was a younger bloke with a ragbone business, up until about 20 years ago. He had a couple of horses that he used.
The business had been handed down, father to son, for years.
He was absolutely minted.
Don’t know where he is now.
’twas a noble trade.
2
I used to love Sunday mornings when I was little. Wake up to almost deathly quiet in which you could hear distant church bells and the clip clop of the rag n bone man’s horse coming down the road. No streams of traffic heading for shopping centres in those days. It was lovely and quiet during lockdown.
2
Agree totally Moggie.
I like church bells ringing on a Sunday, and like the sound of horse clopping along.
And the sound of cricket being played.
🇬🇧🇬🇧
1
An old gent passed away and was survived by his much younger girlfriend. At the funeral nobody was sure how he came to meet his maker, so one of the party plucked up the courage to ask her. “I know he was much older than me and his heart wasn’t strong”, she started “but every Sunday morning we would make love to the sound and rhythm of the church bells…. he’d still be here if that fire engine hadn’t gone past our window”.
6
Greta “You stole my future!”
No we didn’t love, look in the mirror, you didn’t have a future looking like that. Plus, with all that vibrant diversity that Sweden seems to be going for big time, it doesn’t look as if your neighbourhood has one either.
Stick a battery up your chuff, and shut the fuck up.
5
If Greta doesn’t return home soon, all the recently arrived Swedish sooties will change her mantra from “you stole my future” to “you stole my furniture”!
6
I wonder if she’s a virgin?
Would it be morally reprehensible for a soy-infused vegan to chuck his gluten-free youghurt up her chuff, being, as she is, a bit of a ‘tard?
5
Thomas@
As she gets older and starts getting bored of the eco stuff, reckon she’ll rebel and start drinking ,partying,
Film a bluey?
And if she did would you watch it?
😁
4
Hope she uses an environmentally friendly, rechargeable dildo
2
You bet your ass I’d watch it, although I’d not feel comfortable until she was noticeably older. I’ve always wondered if she’s got a normal fanny or a quorn-infused vegina.
It would still look better than Jess Phillips’ clopper, which would resemble a oaeticularly untidy osprey’s nest with a recently disemboweled rodent sprawled in the middle of it.
11
Cracking picture
3
Load of old bollocks this electric car crap. It would take me a fortnight to drive back to the UK to visit family and friends for hatches, matches and dispatches in one with all the charging stops. To start with its nearly a 5 hour drive cross country to Madrid and I don’t know of any charging points so that’s me fucked. Me and the Mrs can do it in 24 hours non stop on 2
tanks of diesel in our old shitron picasso. The future? Fuck off.
2
Just catch a dinghy from France.
Every other fucker does.
6
Good thinking. I’ve got a two man kayak. After the really hot weather we are having here I’m sure our tans could easily make us pass for north Africans so free house and benefits as well. Happy days
3
If you are under 30 you could be a child migrant.
6
They are ok for women doing the shopping and taking the kids to school other than that fucking useless.
Stuck in traffic on the M1, boiling hot day, air con on full, battery on last gasp…. fucked!
The sensible Hybrids are the way forward, use petrol on the open road and electric in towns.
1
Someone I know has a Tesla car and he’s always posting pictures of it.
He’s gone “full retard”* with all of the eco, stop eating meat, we’re ruining the planet, etc. you know the rest.
These things can take hours to charge. I think if you use a Tesla charging point (if you can find one outside of London, or Manchester) you can charge it faster.
So what will it be – wait hours to charge it up or take 5 mins to fill up a tank with petrol/diesel?
Next point – How is mining precious minerals in one country and transporting them thousands of miles to another country to make a battery, and then possibly transporting them again with the car to another country, better for the environment?
Next point – Anyone who’s used rechargeable batteries knows that eventually they don’t hold their charge anymore and are useless. Nobody has figured out a way of disposing of them yet, so most likely what will happen is they’ll dump them somewhere like the Phillipines and try to forget about them. Meanwhile, all the toxic chemicals will seep out and they’ll end up stored somewhere with no proper safety regulations to ensure they explode….
Remind me – what happened in Beirut recently when potentially hazardous chemicals were stored in a reckless manner and forgotten about?
Why do people never fucking learn?
*(“you never go full retard”) Lincoln Osiris, Tropic Thunder, 2008.
9
*to ensure they don’t explode.
Is what I meant to say.
4
I have nothing new to add to this debate, however, I will give you this:
https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/smug-alert.jpg
5
I’d love to know how long a charge would last on a Highlands winter day with all the heating on and a long drive. Battery cars are bollocks unless you live in Chelsea or Islington.
Let’s go hydrogen – use surplus electricity to make it (windy days) and convert petrol stations into H2 stations. Bloody simple.
2
Can you imagine the cables strewn across pavements or the work required to put a charging point outside every house. Add in the grid requirements.
No fucker has thought this shit through.
The cunts.
2
Cunts say ” put charging points onto the lamp columns” . Most lamp columns run on low voltage and so would take about 20 hours to charge your car.
I’ve recently put 3 medium charging points into a housing estate and they cost about £20k each to install. Rapid charge units would cost nearer £200k as they would need their own sub station to power them. Fucking ludicrous.
2
I read a great article in the motoring section of our local rag … obviously written by a petrol head.
He explains a journey in an electric car … he’s nervously watching the battery storage capacity creep lower and lower, he needs to back off the speed a bit to conserve energy even though he knows this will make them late for their destination, it still gets lower, he knows there’s a charging point a bit up ahead, although he’s in a remote part of the country. He tells the kids in the back to switch off their gaming machines and ‘head-rest movies’ as they’re supping a bit more energy from the battery … he’s nearly at the charging point … he apologises to the family having to shut down the electric heating in the car, as it’s using up too much energy … it’s getting a bit overcast outside, yet he’s frightened to switch on even the sidelights, putting his family at risk, as it may drain the battery even more … The charging point is in view .. he breaths a sigh of relief as he joins the long queue for lord knows how long he and the family will have to wait for their re-charge.
As he and the family are outside the car waiting their turn, his neighbour and family drive past in their Morris Minor tooting their horn and giving them a friendly wave …
7
Fork all this electric car bullocks.
Give me a Hawkman rocket cycle any day
https://images.app.goo.gl/gom5vWW4g8h9oPdE6
Although, I wouldn’t mind one with a seat and somewhere to rest my walking stick.
1
It is powered by the energy of Brian Blessed’s booming voice. “Fly my hawkmen!”
1
I’ve recently put three medium charging points into a housing estate and they cost about £20k to install. If we put in rapid charging units that would cost about £200k as they would need their own sub station to power them. Fucking ludicrous.
2
Lean burning diesel engines is the future, not hybrids or electric cars.
Until technology makes the rare metal batteries obsolete then all this nonsense is simply an exercise in urination on the leeward side of Arsehole Island.
3
Does anybody know if you can still buy LPG? It was supposed to be the next big thing back in the 90’s. I worked with a guy who had his car converted, at a cost of about £2k, to run on it because some cunt told him it was half the price of petrol. What the cunt didn’t mention was that he only got half the mileage so there were no running cost savings whatsoever. Plus there were only 2 places in Leicestershire he could buy it so if he ran low on a day he wasn’t going to work he had to drive 15 miles to fill up. I recall he wasn’t best pleased.
2