Ungrateful Drunk Twat Rescued from River Twice

Posted on by

A brief, but urgently needed cunting for the ‘un-named’ drunk, who jumped TWICE into the same Kent river aftes pubs reopened.

This arsehole, who was part of a ‘pissed group’ who were near the river, was first rescued after jumping into the water and shouting “help me ! I can’t swim” !”

He was pulled from the water by rescuers, in a ‘distressed state’, but then refused the medical help he was crying for & then dived back in the river.

Un-believably, the selfless rescue team then dragged him out again, before he ran off.

I would have let the fucker drown.

God only knows where the police were or what they were doing.
They should have chucked him in a cell, soaking wet, & left him for 24 hours to sober up.
They should then have fined the cunt for wasting police time & the bill for the ambulance & river rescue.

Anymore of these wankers, pissed, diving the water – don’t send a boat or a throw them a life belt – just hand them a concrete block.

Good riddance to the cunts.

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings

56 thoughts on “Ungrateful Drunk Twat Rescued from River Twice”

  1. Every year, when there is a bit of a heatwave, stupid cunts go swimming in the sea and rivers and end up drowning. They don’t understand about things like tides and currents and getting tangled up in sub surface undergrowth. As the current takes you it is easy to panic and it doesn’t help if you are pissed. Besides which, seas and rivers in this country are full of all sorts of shit anyway. Fuck ‘em let them drown the stupid cunts.

  2. When he sobered up he probably whinged about it on Twatter of Wankbook, saying the rescue services were too slow, or too heavy handed or not at all friendly etc.

    But as Freddie rightly points out, first sign of a bit of sun, and you’ll get twats jumping into rivers, lakes and seas because they think they can swim to the other side, or do something equally stupid, and then find themselves literally in shit creek without a paddle!

    i can understand people trying to rescue someone else struggling to stay afloat, or rescuing a dog out to sea. But again they underestimate the unseen currents, even in what appears to be perfectly placid waters. And again that’s when it all goes pear shaped, unless you’re a really good swimmer.

    But this drunk twat doesn’t deserve rescuing. Fuck him!

  3. I seem to remember a young gentleman who went swimming in Michael Barrymore’s pool, no tides or currents, and ended up dead with some strange tears along his anal passage. Hmmm……I wonder what happened there? (strokes chin pensively)
    Maybe Michael struck it lucky?

    • Reckon if you used Barrymores pool you had a greater chance of rear mid body injuries than surfing off an Australian beach wearing a steak and bacon wetsuit. My mate is well up on this sort of thing so must be true.

  4. Its the call of the wild.
    He should be released at sea to be free and swim with other marine life and aquatic types like Duncan Goodhew, Marina, Rolf Harris, and the man frim Atlantis.
    Some dont understand the salt tinged air,
    Briny foam, the swell of wave, and mighty mackerel breaching, but those would be land lubbers.

  5. “God only knows where the police were or what they were doing”

    They were watching him drown, while taking a knee and offering a Black Panther salute.

  6. Welcome to a glimpse of my working life. Not unlike the junkies that have overdosed, go into respiratiry arrest, we turn up, bag them, (breathe for them with a bag, valve and mask – BVM), give them a blast of narcan, they come round and walk off calling you all the cunts under the sun as you’ve just taken away their fix. Tomorrow, another crew will be doing the same again to them. However, they have an illness which needs help and I’m more than happy to do that as we don’t know the circumstances that led them down that path and who am I to judge? The cunt in the nom, however, is a cunt and no mistake, guv, so therefore, I commend this cunting to The House.

    • Abusing the emergency services is a criminal act and the perpetrators punished for it in my book, no if’s no but’s. I think the most efficient way would be an automatic minimum fine, increasing according to the severity of abuse. Hit the cunts in the pocket and make them pay and if necessary pay the debt off in instalments long after their cuntitude.

      Now obviously this, despite being idealistic, is easier said than done and would mean giving emergency workers powers that they don’t necessarily want, after all, the job is gruelling enough without them having to take on policing as well.

      Quite frankly I don’t know how this has to be stopped, but it HAS to STOP. Maybe camera technology will play a part, maybe we all need to be microchipped with our I.d. and the two can sync together? We cannot as a nation afford to have our life savers treated like pigs by ungrateful, drugged and pissed up bums when they think fit. I don’t really care what circumstances have led to these wasterels behaving appallingly, it’s nobody else’s problem, but it becomes someone else’s problem when cunts like the one in the nom are having their version of a good time. This type of thing has to be deterred otherwise phoning 999 will result in the unobtainable signal eventually.

    • Circumstance Schmircumstances.
      They’re taking the piss out of the NHS, Ambulance services and taxpayer.
      I think ambulances should carry those Hippo rubbish bags with the biohazard sign on the side. Stuff the junkies or time wasters inside then reverse up to the hospital incinerator. No complaints from me.

  7. Slow down Cunters, this is the fault of the bbc again as they choose to no longer show the public information broadcast about the danger.
    Expect kids rescuing kites from pylons anytime now.

  8. Is he any relation to ungrateful brown stabby “mental elf issooos” cunt rescued from channel?

    • Well at least he wasn’t a student – in York it would appear students are not taught to swim given the amount that drown every Year (the Ouse and the Foss are lethal after dark, difficult to see the edges).
      If I had been near this idiot I would have assisted him back in, but I had a bad experience some Years ago swimming – there was this huge sea cow and it was staring at me and everything, so I duffed it up – got back to the shore and got arrested for crimes against Hugh Manatee..
      Ouch! Careful with those coats – they can chafe when thrown with that vigour! 😄

  9. Let the stupid drunk cunt drown and then leave him for the fishes.

    Brainless piss stain is a drain on society.

  10. Wristband. Obnoxious tinted sunglasses. Shitty baseball cap. Stupid gurning facial expression, probably secretly desiring a face full of splooge. = generic cunt.

  11. I’d like to bet that when this idiot isn’t jumping into rivers that he is doing many other stupid things in the forlorn hope that blokes will say he’s a great laugh and that girls will want to jump him. Fuckwit.

  12. It would have been much better to lob bricks at the cunt til it disappeared forever under the surface.

    • Let’s face it Unk, you simply can’t legislate for cunts, and Dog knows, there are plenty of them about.

  13. I wouldn’t go swimming in rivers. There could be all sorts of rubbish in there.

    I’ve not been to the pub yet. I’m giving it a month or so. Wait for the all clear.

    • Friends of mine were in Bangkok a few years back and they went on a river boat cruise. He said it was unbelieveable; turds from houseboats, rats swimming about, deads dogs floating… Fucking hell, and they paid for this ‘pleasure’ excursion.

      • I’ve heard that if you’re drowning in a Thai river, you get thrown a Lady Buoy.

      • Afternoon Bertie. 🙂 How do?

        No not yet. I should do. I’m a bit of a procrastinator.

        You Percy still dancing in the Blue Oyster bar?

      • I’m fine. Percy is still living out in the sticks with a family of parakeets. He’s being chased now by the police in connection with being questioned about grandma’s untimely death.
        What was at first thought to be COVID is now being regarded as a suspicious death.

    • Oh and the kid that drowned was seen by this other bloke who tried to save him and he drowned too. I can confirm that the bloke that drowned was a low life druggie sponger with no redeeming features at all who at the time had a busted arm and tried to look the hero. The bloke in the video is another cunt. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-23382269

      • Despite the warning signs cunts still go out for a paddle. And then when they end up dead the parents/next of kin whinge that not enough was done to prevent “this tragic accident”. And then get in touch with a no win:no fee cunt, and expect compo in the thousands!

    • Used to live in Switzerland, kids used to go into enormous freight yards, climb on top of failway wagons, flash, bang, police delivering opaque plastic carrier bag with personal effects to parents of deceased.
      Basically, nobody gave a fuck, said it was their fault for being twats.
      Am inclined to agree.
      Some good 70s railway/electricity safety films on youtub. Before Elf ‘n’ Safety diluted it.

  15. “God only knows where the police were or what they were doing”.

    Well, I can tell you that there are 800 of them employed solely for the purpose of looking for hurty words on the internet.

    The rest of them are too busy giving black panther salutes (without having a clue what that aludes to) and taking a knee. In other words, sucking black cock.

  17. Should have left the fat fuck wash out to sea where a passing Japanese whaling fleet could have used him for target practice.

  18. And who pays for the emergency services? We do. Every stupid cunt who gets rescued from whatever predicament they’ve got themselves into should have to cover the cost. Accidents are one thing, these twats are asking for it.
    Cash, credit card or custody. Court appearance in the morning. Sorted.

  19. Obviously a gay because he can’t handle his ale.

    Next time order a fucking Babycham.

  21. Whilst I agree with my esteemed cunter Freddie that far too many drunk chav cunts act the goat in our waterways as soon as the mercury begins to rise I think you’ll find many of our rivers are of far cleaner than those on the continent. I do a fair amount of wild swimming and there are a lot of excellent spots with Grade A or B quality water.

    Unfortunately the closer you get to urban areas the dirtier the water gets and the more human flotsam you encounter. Obviously stay away from anywhere near London but the Home Counties are full of glorious spots to cool off when not off your rocker on Carling or whatever other piss those peasants drink

  22. This virus, this blue mink bat flu, will be around for years and will take an age to die out. Because of pieces of shit like him and the cunts that are going to the pub or ‘Maccy Dees’ or any other chav and moron magnet. Is it really that important to human life and survival for these knobheads to get hammered or have a Big Mac? It has to be said that the UK is teeming with selfish thoughtltess and entitled filth. Boris is a cunt for relaxing the laws to early and the scores of vermin who will either ignore distancing rules anyway -pissed or sober – want fucking shooting.

  23. The rescuers should quite rightly in this case taken a knee and watched the fucker drown

  24. I know about this story, its in my home town of Maidstone, unfortunately this happens every year with the detritus from the wonderful night time economy wandering down to the River Medway where the path is right next to the River, most people do not know that the River has a very strong current and you can get into trouble quite quickly if you are not a good swimmer or pissed as a fart, most who end up in the drink are not locals but idiots who do not how dangerous it is, Darwin’s evolution at work.

Comments are closed.