Teethe Smiles

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Sounds like a strange nomination, but fuck it is a thing that irks me.

I worked with a bloke who had a beard phobia, said it was like a cunt talking to him,
But teethe smiles from a man just rub me up the wrong way, I can not explain it, upturned sides of mouths do the trick for me.

I tend to observe mannerisms and eyes, the whole show the teeth thing puts me on edge, it is almost like the extended hand “hand shake” bollocks.

If a woman shows gum, I may raise an eyebrow but fuck me when I get a full gnashers and gum smile from a bloke, well there are one of two things spring to mind.

1, he does drag of an evening.
2, he is a massive cunt and trying to fuck me over.

Nominated by: lord benny

37 thoughts on “Teethe Smiles”

  1. Yep. Totally agree LB.
    I hate people generally and those with a fixed grin showing full gnashers the most.
    My rule is never to trust anyone who always smiles, they usually have an agenda.
    I am naturally grumpy looking and seldom smile, which is just fine by me!😠😠

    • People who tell me to smile get a snarl. I ask them if they’ve ever seen a person who smiles all the time, and if they had, did they look completely sane?

      Then tell the simple cunt to fuck off.

  2. As I read this an image of the sickly permanent grin of Anthony Blair came into my mind. Quickly followed by the grin of his disgusting old baggage of a wife. Now there’s a pair of massive fucking cunts.

    Funny you should mention the ubiquitous Mr Blair. Watch this space…. – admin

  4. If you want to scare the living shit out of people in London, smile a big toothy grin and cheerfully say hello.

    Works every time.

  5. Fuck, that image should come with a warning like the one they give out on the news, containing flashing images or shows acts of violence, Freddy Krueger would turn and run if confronted by that witch.

    What is there to smile about these days, economy about to drop off the cliff (a real one this time not the ‘if you vote Brexit’ one), BLM everywhere and Owen Jones is still breathing.

    Happy to be miserable.

    • On a side note, the report about 700+ arrests, something to do with cracking fancy encrypted phones used by criminals.
      I thought that WhatsApp had end to end encryption, so what was special about these fancy hand sets

      I don’t get it

  6. Lord Benny, I think I know why you hate other men baring teeth.

    You are part wolf.

  7. I tend not to smile much due to dental issues.
    When I do take my dentures out in the evening , my mouth looks like a rusty sheriff’s badge.
    Not a pretty site .
    My smile makes that young lady in the picture with the lovely teeth looks like Barry Gibb.

  8. It makes my skin crawl when I see people in toothpaste adverts licking their teeth.
    Swiping their tongue across their newly cleaned teeth whilst looking in the mirror.

  9. I’ve not got the personality to make people smile, not strangers anyway.

    If strangers are smiling at me they’re either:

    Salesmen
    God Botherers
    Drunk
    Wasted on illegal substances
    Extracting large sums of money from me.

    I avoid these people.

    Occasionally an attractive woman will smile at me, these are probably psycho hose beasts, to be avoided but my penis never learns.

    Cunts.

    • I leer!
      Mostly scowl,
      But love a big pearly smile, africans smile the best to be fair,
      Specially getting a aid package or bowl of millet.
      Little wizened black face lights up that even I smile.
      The cheeky cunts.

      • You must be eagerly awaiting 3 million Hong Kong Chinese gurning cubes MNC?

      • Beside myself with excitement Sixdog.
        Buntings going up as we speak.
        ☺

      • The Chinese will next turn their attention to Oceania. All the Aussies and Kiwis will then be offered free passage to Blighty. Will you be able to offer them a warm welcome Miserable?
        😅
        PS This is not as absurd as it sounds. There is valuable mineral wealth in them there hills of Oz. It’s all in the Chinese master plan.

      • Evening Bertie!
        But of course!
        More the merrier eh?
        We’re a massive island with room for everyone,
        Im a friendly type, like a chat, bit of banter,
        Bring the abos and moaris too!
        We can all have awfully nice time.
        No ones ever accussed me of being unfriendly to foreigners!!
        😁😁

  10. My Sister got the teeth* in our family – every fucking photo of her, she’s gurning away like Donny Fucking Osmond – makes one retch.

    *Except on a Tuesday when I need them back to crimp the shortcrust pastry…

  11. I remember when an old friend of mine who had got his teeth knocked out in a riding accident got a set of false teeth…they were brilliant white and the size of tombstones. People actually wondered if he’d stolen the horse’s teeth in revenge.
    He’d only had them a few days when we went to Kelso races and as we sat having a pint he was asked to go and get some Scotch pies off the barman to put a lining on our guts for a full day on the drink..off he went up the bar..”Sixf Scoths pieths,pleath” he said to the lad …” What ye say?” enquired the lad…..”Sixf Scoth Pieths’…. ” Eh?”…..”Sixf Scoth Pies”…..by now the volume was increasing from both of therm… “WAT DI YE WANT ? ” bellowed the barman obviously believing that he was talking to a congenital idiot…albeit a congenital idiot with a set of teeth to match the winner of the first race…that did it,out came the teeth and an apoplectic scream of ” Six fucking Scotch Pies,you fucking deaf Cunt.” finally got the message through to the poor lad.

    They really were an incredible set of teeth… I still remember when he died and we went to have a look at him in his box and make sympathetic noises at his widow. The sight of those gleaming gnashers staring out of his shrunken face at us…I wondered if we should put a stake through his heart…just to be on the safe side.

      • Hexham isn’t a lucky course for me Bertie….don’t know why,never do well there.

  12. Smiling or not, my face isn’t a pretty sight. I bought a mask today so that they’d let me on the bus because I didn’t fancy walking all the way home from town. I’m sure it’s improved my looks immeasurably, if fact if I wore it on a nudist beach I’m sure I’d be propositioned on a regular basis. How soon can we book holidays at Cap d’Agde?

      • What would you need a mask for? By your own description it sounds as if you look like you have a face peering through a hedgerow.

      • Its true Moggie.
        Tried tuther day, did a job at a old folks home and they said We had to wear masks.
        Mine couldnt fit my beard in, gave up in the end.
        Only wear masks on halloween and when peeping in windows.

  14. We smile with our eyes.
    Tony B’liar was surely the owner of the most insincere smile in the history of cuntism.
    Truly stomach churning.

  15. What’s worse than a smile of rotten ivories is, imo, the fake horsey seabiscuit selfie smile that pervades today’s yoof and their social media pages. What a race of vapid, entitled spoon-fed, laser-whitened, spray-tanned, manicured, waxed cunts they all are. The fact that this new breed of plastic cunts is also afflicted with ‘teh wokeness’ just compounds problems tenfold. Britain had just paid off the debts for WW2 not that long ago . . . and for what? Alas, all those sacrifices of yesteryear will be in vain if this shower of useless mollycoddled cunts are heirs to the throne. Fuck off!

  17. People who smile all the time rarely have a sense of humour.

    And are generally cunts.

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