Ok, a bit a strange one, because I’m taking a rest from nominating “celebrities” and “politicians”. Let’s face it, they prove themselves to be cunts on a daily basis. So I’m doing a nomination for something that has bothered me since the day I left the Army. Regrets. Yes, regrets. And one in particular. I deeply regret that I never applied for selection to the SAS, because I will have to live the rest of my life wondering whether I could have made it. Personally, I think I could. I definitely had the fitness, and mentally I was tougher than most. But I’ll never know and it pisses me off.
When I first enlisted, I served with 7 Para, Royal Horse Artillery. Didn’t actually want to do it, but once the guys in the careers office found out that I’m originally from Texas, and can ride a horse, I was…erm..gently steered toward that regiment. Fortunately, I really enjoyed it. Not clearing out the horses, I hated that, but the job itself and the mates I made. And by the time I’d done my three years at the age of 19, I was talked out of going for 22 Regt, in favour of 29 Commando RA. “It’s just as dangerous” I was told. Lying cunts.
In the end, it turned out to almost be true. Because I was a qualified parachutist, and then a qualified commando, I was placed with a unit known as 148 Battery. Turns out this was a pretty awesome unit. Our job was go behind enemy lines, carry out surveillance on the enemy and if necessary, to call in the air force/SAS/SBS/Navy Seals etcetera to bring the enemy a serious case of death. We had all kinds of awesome gadgets, such as secure, encrypted comms, manned by our trusty matelot, Seaman Staines. We had laser designators, the best night vision every piece of tech you could imagine. We had mad skills too. We were trained to patrol behind enemy line, how to set up an OP (observation post) covertly, concealment, stealth and battle damage assesment, covert insertion methods, including from a submarine. We even got some of the training the SAS get, such as SERE (Survival Evasion Resistance Extraction). When we were captured, would have to go through the same ‘enhanced interrogation’ training as the SAS, which really fucks with your sense of reality. Unlike the SAS though, it takes about ten months of training. Whereas SF training takes two years.
Despite having such an awesome job though, one which most people could not do, I still regretted not going for the SAS. Like I said, I’ll never know if I’d have been good enough. It’s irrational I know. But that regret will always be with me. And I wish it would fuck off.
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw
An excellent example of regret Quick Draw, which is indeed a cunt.
I sympathise with you, as I have regretted not even signing up for years. The reason being, as a young man I considered myself retired and filled my brain chock full of drugs. Whilst this is entirely my own decision and my own fault I lay some responsibility at the hands of my parents as they were liberals. One of them is dead now. Fucker went quietly in his sleep.
Now a little older I have come to realise that I am highly motivated and respond well to discipline and stress. I can master new skills quickly, and love being physically active all of the time. I also loathe other civilians for their sloth and wishy washy approach to bloody everything. Fat cunts.
But now I am too old. I would really have enjoyed and I think the armed forces would have done me a world of good.
17
Did ten years for the queen myself. Loved it but never regret anything,, just learn from from my wanky mistakes. And i have made some corkers. Best to fill your life with all kinds of different stuff even if some of it turns out to be dogshit. Did some weird shit in the forces which can only be experienced in that environment. Some of it not so nice but don`t regret any of it,,fuck em ,,Cunts.
11
Who did serve with Horatio? Please tell me it wasn’t the fucking RMP, lol.
0
As the yanks say “thank you for your service”
Quickdraw.
Sounds like you would of cut the mustard to me, dunno.
Look at it this way, you made mates, served your country, learnt invaluable skills, walked away intact,
Its a winner!👍
12
I’ll second that Miserable.
Sounds to me that Quick Draw can indeed walk with his head held high.
5
Don’t be too harsh on yourself QDM.
Most of us wonder if we might have been able to step up a league. For me it was music. I was in bands and then became a solo performer and I thought I was a pretty good singer. Certainly way better than the cunts on XFACTOR who are picked not for their talent but for their potential drawing power. Sales for Simon.
To get to the top of any profession you have to put everything else aside, family, friends, the lot and become a ruthless bastard. Most of us don’t want to do that. Look at the ex SAS guys like Ant Middleton who put all the celebs through hell on TV shows. They are mostly small blokes who are VERY driven. They don’t look that happy and have to continually prove themselves.
To climb to to the top of a company you need to work ridiculous hours to show willing, be prepared to stab your colleagues in the back and crawl around your superiors. There are very few genuinely nice guys who build empires either. Think Branson, Sugar, Gates. They tread on people to get what they want.
Success isn’t about money or position but about the respect you gain for what you are.
We might all have climbed higher if we had got that big break but would it made us better people?
11
Had I the choice of joining one of the forces I think it wouldve been the RN.
However, i was ruled out of any of that sort of thing by a medical condition at 14 .
3
I too applied to join the RN , like my beloved pa, only to be told that warships had insufficient room for guide dogs. A tad harsh methinks but my eyesight is no brilliant by any measure.
4
‘If only’ the saddest phrase in the English language.
6
Sounds to me like you did more than enough to me QDM.
No mean soldier indeed.
6
A strong word from the military.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViKDf6UIXl0&t=58s
2
I said it on the nom but I had no idea you’re a yank.
1
No, you come over as a most civilised chap.
1
Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?
1
I’m half yank. My mother is English. My dad is from San Antonio, Texas. I was born and spent my first nine years there. We moved here in ’82.
5
San Antonio…….the River Walk (when it’s not packed with fucking tourists which is never) and the Alamo. Erm…that’s it.
Went to a gig at The Paper Tiger in San Antonio a few years ago and wished I hadn’t. What a shitty part of town that is.
Glad you escaped QDM. It’s a hole as far as I can tell from my few visits.
3
There are decent parts, you just have to know where they are. Most of family over there live just outside the city now. Much quieter.
0
I regret taking my first tentative steps to oblivion at the age of 14 with my first can of Tennants Super. Some 36 years later I’m a recovering alcoholic of 15 months and going strong. Liver ok thankfully (dog knows how), but fucked now with type 2 diabetes, a fucking hard to conquer weight issue and severe nerve damage in my feet. Still, not all bad; happily married for 24 years, two amazing girls of 19 and 21, bit of cash in the bank and hold down a professional job. Mind you, had some great fun fucking myself up. 😃
13
I was offered an RAF commission in air traffic control. I turned it down as I wanted to do electronic systems but was deemed a security risk since I had relatives in the old USSR. I have since massively regretted what a twat I was.
6
I was offered a commission in the WRENS but they turned me down when I applied for the post of clothings manager. I have since massively regretted missing out on my perfect perversion.
8
You are really John Inman and I claim my £5.
4
A security risk because you had relatives in the USSR? That sucks. And yet we had people in the civil service and government who actually were a security risk.
7
In the 1940s to 1960s any cunt from Cambridge was a security risk.
6
It made it worse that I’d never even met them, they were totally unknown to me to the extent I couldn’t even name one of them.
3
David Stirling,Paddy Mayne and Reg Seekings (and many others) made the Special Air Service the best in the world.
Anyone who serves in any of the armed services is a hero.
I wonder what such great men would make of our country now?
I think it’s a matter of tremendous regret that everything they achieved has been completely betrayed by vermin.
Great nom.
25
I live in the town paddy Blair maybe came from has a statue of him in the town square he really is a local hero
1
Sorry Mayne ffs
0
Agreed Unkle Terry.Our nation is a shambles.Led by chickens and those halfwit civil servants
10
Thanks for your service QuickDraw. Just got a couple of questions please if you don’t mind QuickDraw as I’m fascinated by the military. In your honest opinion, is the SBS training tougher than the SAS or is it equally as brutal? What’s your rating of the Navy Seals against British Special Forces? Cheers pal.
5
SF training is pretty much the same, regardless of whether it’s the SAS or SBS. And these days, there really is no real difference between them. Back in 2005, the MOD ordered a major reorganisation of special forces. They opened both units up to men from all branches of service, to give them a wider skill base and created a new sf unit, the Special Reconnaissance Regiment. The SRR is the only one to recruit women as well as men. The women don’t do the same kind of thing as the SAS/SBS, but they’re still tough as fuck. And back at the London Olympics, twelve female SRR soldiers were deployed to covertly watch the spectators by walking among them in civvies. Turns out women are better at it than men, because nobody gets nervous by women walking among them. Male soldiers tend to have a certain look.
As for the SEALs, they’re an awesome unit and they’re training is just as brutal, but not a patch on our guys. They were originally known as UDT’s or underwater demolition teams, but were merged and renamed Navy SEALS. Jesse Ventura, who played Blaine in Predator was a member of a UDT. When you see him on TV now, he’ll mention that he was a former Navy SEAL. It’s caused some friction with some members of the SEALS who don’t consider him one of them as he served before they had SEALS. Others do though.
5
Cheers QuickDraw, really interesting info. Learnt something new there also, I’d not heard of the SRR before.
3
At school we were forced to go to Army Recruitment to find out about the Army. The soldiers spent the whole day explaining the advantages of such an active and thrilling life.
I considered for a nanosecond deciding no.
‘nanosecond; an SI unit of time equal to one billionth of a second’.
3
You’ve done more than most of us Quick Draw, don’t beat yourself up over it (sorry about the americanism). The nearest I ever got to covert insertion methods was when I was fantasising over pictures of Natasha Udovenko.
7
Some hilarious posts on this nom.
QDM don’t regret it ffs. You’ve probably done more in the 22 years (I think I recall you saying in the past you did a full term?) that most of us would achieve in a lifetime.
I read a book by ‘Andy McNab’ some years back called Severn Troop, you may have read it too, it’s about his Time in the SAS.
I think it came out in 2007 and the bit that really stuck with me was at the end where he writes…….. ‘255 soldiers were killed in the Falklands war, in the 25 years since almost the same number of Special Services soldiers have committed suicide since leaving the Service’
It was and is a shocking statistic but he wrote it to highlight just how much of a toll it takes on you after you leave the Service.
You should have no regrets QDM. I salute you Sir!!
11
Count yourself lucky you didn’t end up like prince Harry.
3
Yes I would have joined the SAS but was turned down as I was a colossal pervert..erm…no scrub that, I still am..
3
I don’t think you’re seeing this from the right angle personally. Sure you may never know if you’d have made the cut, if your nuts were actually high grade steel rather than just lowly brass. But, the key point here is you’re still alive and in one fucking piece. You could have made it in then gotten fucked up on the first assignment.
Physical prowess and competitiveness is foolish really. Stay fit, but pushing yourself to breaking point or death? Why? For Queen and country? Are they really worth your life – how many vets get shit out without qualm by the system they served.
5
I regret not getting a hand swallow.
2
I was never in services but because of my job I was lucky enough to work with UK SF in UK and some other countries as well as with those of Australia. Unconsciously I followed the rules. Don’t bullshit, don’t make assumptions, don’t ask questions and do as you are told. And be good at what you do.
They work hard and play hard. Never knew one who regretted what they were doing.
Although one good friend did say when he left the service that he was glad that he would never again have to shit into cling-film.
I always thought that we do not deserve them, and they do not deserve the politicians they have.
And always gentlemen. Iron their kit every day. Never, well hardly ever, swore.
4
This topic is right up my street.
I am an ex met police officer, the last 11 years of my career I was assigned to SCO19 and I was one of the first dedicated CTSFO (counter terrorist specialist firearms officer) in the country. In fact my first “tour of duty” as a CTSFO was the 2012 Olympic games.
Now it is little known (even amongst the CTSFO rookies) that the training is actually provided by active and non active SF personnel. I can tell you that the majority of these SF individuals are hardly exceptional human beings. There seems to be this illusion that a SF person is some sort of superhuman and is capable of feats that are somewhat incomprehensible. Well, sorry to disappoint all you alpha males, but having worked with dozens of SF operatives both during my career in the met and my current career in the close protection industry I can confidently say that are far from superheroes. Now, dont get me wrong, I’m not putting them down or underestimating their capabilities, but what I think needs to be clear is that the strength and skill of any SF group is the level of training and planning that goes into every operation and key to it is their ability to work as a team under extreme duress. The SF selection drills that you see Anthony Middleton boast about is a load of drivel based mainly on historical SAS selection criteria. The most important quality that any SF individual must possess to successfully progress through selection is not about physical strength and agility (although obviously these are essential also) but mental strength and agility. Unfortunately training alone can not guarantee you will meet the level of mental agility and strength required as there is most definitely a genetic aspect to these qualities which of course one cannot choose at birth.
Anyway, getting back to the original post and my point. QDM – from the details of your post it would be impossible to deduce whether or not you would have passed selection at that particular time as the standard and baseline for new SF recruits changes and adapts to the current warfare environment. What I mean is that you may have passed the physical and mental selection process but my understanding is there are always other elements thrown into the mix, for example now days you would certainly be a more attractive candidate if you were perhaps of middle Eastern or African ethnicity as current demand for operatives to work undercover in conflict zones and to blend in are hugely in demand.
I would like to thank you for your service to queen and country and regardless of whether or not you are or indeed were SF material, to me you are the very essence of what has put the Great into Great Britain. After all, he who dares, wins 😁
8
I look forward Integricunt, to your reveal as an ex Met Officer, particularly concerning the current controversies surrounding the force! Or will we have to wait for your memoirs? 😀
2
Classy post, Integricunt! One of the best I’ve read on here thus far. Thanks for dispelling the myth surrounding SF that they are all untouchable superhumans. I deduced this years ago, but it’s good to read about it from a legitimate, verifiable source.
1
A bit ambivalent about this nom, as quite a lot (by no means all) of folk who join up are dotted-faced delinquents who are neds/mouthbreathers who after a few years think they’re know-it-all scholars and hard men, turning their noses up at us ‘civvies’. The worst type are the ones who get dishonourably discharged for being mental midgets or hobbling spazzes — the same ones who, once tanked up on drugs and booze, have the audacity to say they served their country (even if they were only in the forces for six months to a year) and cause all sorts of mayhem wether out in the street or in the pub. Have a chip on their shoulders and think the world owes them a living. Equally as bad are the Walter Mitty, delusional ones . . . they start thinking they can run the country after serving few years, in spite of being a tad dull. Got a lot of respect for our forces otherwise, though. There’s no doubt it can transform someone from a broken home and who was written off, and there’s no doubt there are tons of very decent and very smart folk in there, but there are plenty of clowns that were/are in the forces, too. I’ve personally seen both sides of this argument, and hence why I have conflicting thoughts on it.
5
I got into a scrap with a marine (supposedly) when i was 19. We were both pissed as farts. Luckily we were in my road and the old man and brother came out and scared him off when it turned all the local tough boys he knew knew us as well, especially the old man, so I didn’t see what that was all about.
I think he may have been discharged and was dealing with it badly.
Still respect the Forces, even if some get a bit of an inflated idea of their own toughness.
1
Yep, CP, an inflated idea of their own toughness is a common trait amongst them. They often, from my own experience, exhibit the dreaded — and pathetic — ‘God complex’, too. Marine, you say? Are you a yank?? Didn’t know yanks frequented this part of the cyber world (not that I have a problem with that). 😉
1
No, not a yank. He was a Royal Marine, but I didnt know that at the time he decided to mouth off.
0
An SF man may not look like a pumped up gym monkey. That does not help when he has to look insignificant in hostile streets, or has to live/exist in a hole in the ground for a week, but he can still run for hours with full pack. And they never talk about their exploits, so don’t ask.
Nourishing obscurity.
5
Depending on how old you are, you could sign up for that TV show ‘SAS -Are You Tough Enough?’ You have to be less than 44 when filming starts next year.
https://www.channel4.com/4viewers/takepart/SAS
In the meantime have a listen to ‘Je Ne Regrette Rien’, might cheer you up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3Kvu6Kgp88
Sounds like you were in an equivalent SAS anyway, just operated a bit differently. You must have some amazing memories.
1
Quick draw if we have another Iranian situation, i consider your the man to sort it.
1
I have the privilege to have served for over 12 years & remember that service with pride. I’ve always said it’s a good life for a young person, for the majority it makes their character & gives them maturity beyond their years.
My service was technical, the Corps motto translated to ‘By Skill & By Fighting’, & that training/service has stood me in good stead through civvy street too. I’ll never regret a single day of it
On the nom QDMG, it sounds to me like you had a proper roughtie-toughtie service experience & I don’t think you should regret not going for selection – your actual service stands on it’s own merits regardless.
3
I went through the OASC at RAF Biggin Hill nearly forty years ago, and passed as potential pilot material.
Even though I decided to take up a career in design, I had the option of attestation up to the age of 38 (if I remember rightly).
But the 38th birthday came and went, and it’s one of the biggest regrets in my life.
The only comfort I have is that I probably would have probably flown into a hillside anyway.
It is indeed a cunt.
0
“If I can do it, so can you”
( B.Grylls 2020)
0