Simping

Posted on by

A nomination for what is known as ‘simping’.

To be a simp is generally meant as putting women up on a pedestal, but more specifically it means to lavish them with money, gifts and attention when deep down you know the woman will never even touch you.

Simping is common amongst the Beta-cuck community who succumb to ‘financial domination’ from Vampirella lookalikes, and extends to the hapless gimps buying them macbooks via ‘Wishlists’.
You’ll find this sort of spunking of money on worthless tarts with a suite of personality disorders is defended by millennial, soy-sucking hacks with wispy bumfluff chin hair and hipster specs writing for digital ‘news’ outlets such as Buzzfeed, Gizmodo, Kokatu, Vice or The Mary Sue.

Some of these poor cunts delude themselves into thinking performing moderation for the ‘E-thots’ (cam girls) will get them into their boudoir. and when the ‘model’ reveals she has a boyfriend, the dork who manages her site and her livestreams and all the other techie bollocks feels his heart crumble to nothing, having been strung along – not by the pneumatic client – but by his own pathetic fantasy.

Simping mainly refers to online activities, but I would apply the term to some behaviour in the real world as well, one example is lapdancing clubs.

I don’t understand the appeal; throwing money at women you can’t even touch.

There’s more dignity in visiting a brothel.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

56 thoughts on “Simping”

  1. Worked with a bloke who had never been to a lapdancibg club, so the rest of the boys took him to Peppermint Hippo for an evening out.

    He had no idea how this stuff worked, so took out £500 to spend.

    Like a complete fanny, when one of the old tarts working there offered him a dance, he just waved the wad of notes at her and she took the lot.

    Being a bit socially backward he then went and got another £500 out and she took that too.

    By the end of the week and having visited every night, he was £2500 down and convinced the tart wanted to marry him because of the one on one attention she kept giving him the moment he walked through the door.

    Someone had to sit him down and explain a couple of realities about lap dancing clubs and women in general.

    A bit sad, considering he was in his mid 40’s.

  2. No woman is worth your dignity. Unlike many of the cunters on her, such as MNC or B&WC I was born good looking or sophisticated. I learned young that chasing women is an expensive and mostly fruitless pastime but that women who trade on their attractiveness have huge but fragile egos. Ignore them and some of them will decide they have to crack you.

    No matter how attractive a woman is she’s still a woman, don’t buy the product based on the packaging.

    • Wasn’t born good liking or sophisticated it should say, in addition I have a broken screen on my phone which has made my limited typing skills even less fruitful.

      Women (mostly) cunts
      Smartphones cunts
      BLM/Antifa Cunts
      David Lammy Cunt
      BBC cunt
      Lesbian woke soy boy LBGT campaign cunts

      I’ve a lot of isn’t up frustration today, not having access to assault weapons I shall settle for walking one of the hounds.

      Cunts

    • Same as you, 6, I have spent my life battling women off with a shitty stick, pausing only to dabble with the real crackers.

      My son, who is growing fast, has blonde hair, dark skin and piercing blue eyes and the face of an angel. The poor sod will be fighting them off when he gets to his teen years. I foresee our Ring doorbell will be a good investment.

    • Here’s my take on it. A male should never, never, ever woman worship, or at least let the object of his desires see it or be aware of it. I cannot over emphasise this. It doesn’t matter how attractive, beautiful, good looking, posh, or vivacious she is considered to be. She WILL NOT want to be your girlfriend, or at least not for long. Here’s the reason. Firstly, she knows she has appeal, she’s got a mirror and she doesn’t need to be told. To sit opposite someone that looks as if he is blushing and fawning tells her that he is not confident in himself, and that he is likely to be needy. Both of which are unattractive and unsexy traits. What IS attractive and what will fire her interest and passion in him, is cocky self assurance, including a bit of light hearted banter without being afraid to take the opposite view. Yes, fucking well disagree with her, she’s not God. Make a point of talking about sport participation and going out with the lads.

      Simp’s won’t do this. They keep buying little presents and doing things for the woman thinking he’s really, really impressing her by talking and understanding her as if he were a woman friend. The end result of all this hard work and dedication from the loyal little lapdog is when he plucks up the courage to make the next move is….wait for it….
      “Oh…I’m Sorry (insert name) I think you are looking for something else, I can’t offer you that, but let’s be friends eh. I really like you, you’re nice, you remind me of my rabbit I had, you’re like a brother to me…..”
      Simps and Simping are a pathetic limp wristed cunt. Put yourself beneath a woman and you’re making a prick of yourself. If you do find a woman to marry you, you’ll end up like Wally Batty in Last of the Summer Wine, being bashed with a rolling pin by Norah.
      What a pair of cunts they were as well.

      • Wise words indeed. Exactly describes my first fumbling attempts as a teenager.
        A mate put me right. Show a bit of interest, be amusing, but never fawn. More often than not, she’ll be intrigued by the fact that you’ve not fallen at her feet, and make a bit of effort herself.

  3. Simping – I never heard of it. Learn sommert new every day. Is it like reverse Pimping?

    • Yeah, the OP knows a bit too much about this trendy bollocks for my liking. I bet he’s a hipster, got a man bun and a Greta Thundercunt tattoo.

      • These types seem to want to be dominated but haven’t the courage to go the whole hog and have a dominatrix whip them bloody, the pathetic weirdos.
        Fucks’ sake, if you want to be abused financially and never score with the object of your desire, just get married!

      • Indeed, Mr Cunt Engine. The pinnacle of simping is marriage in this day and age.

        It does benefit those of us with slightly more relaxed morals, yours truely, who are accepting of others bored sexually frustrated housewives and will warm them up for you.

      • You’ve got me there Freddy.

        I clearly need to move further away from Brighton.

  5. I once bought a fat bird a bag of chips before back-scuttling her over an abandoned shopping-trolley round the back of Ladbrokes….she continued to eat her chips as I pounded away.

    I now see that she was merely taking advantage of this poor “simp”….Two pound odd for those bloody chips that I’ll never see again…just lucky that the manipulative manatee didn’t want curry-sauce too,I suppose.

    • Morning Dick, nice to see you getting along with the locals, did the nag come in first or second?

      • Just wait ’til my autobiography comes out…I can see a Booker prize in the offing.

    • That’s probably the most romantic story I’ve ever heard. Almost brought me to tears so it did…

      • It brought a tear to my eyes as well. £2+for a bag of chips! How desparate for a leg over can a man be? If she was as fat as made out to be then what’s wrong with a plying the lass with a bag of crisps. Get the same result at a fraction of the price plus if they’re cheese & onion crisps you wont notice the minge odour as much.

      • I usually do just buy a packet of crisps..a family-sized bag when empty makes a serviceable emergency condom …. a fun-sized Mars Bar wrapper will probably suffice for you.

      • Only if its made of shrink wrappable plastic, Dick. If not, its no use to me. Can’t be doing with loose fitting Johnnies.

      • You mean you spunked in yer y-fronts you vile despoiler of a beautiful moment in my life.

        You’re a fucking disgrace.

      • Did you check if the shopping trolley had a Pound in it DF? (No need for fiscal fecklessness now!) 😄

      • Could only see the one slot Vernon…and it could have comfortably taken a full cash-register never mind a single Pound coin

    • I trust like the genteman you are you secured the trolley to your knightly steed to prevent it rolling away.

      • It wasn’t capable of rolling anywhere… I gad no idea you get get a “flat” in a solid tyre….

      • Buxom wench then?

        Was she, perchance a denizen of that veritable wellspring of feminine delicacy and beauty: Llandwhale?

  6. Yeah, never get put into the dreaded ‘Friendzone’. I have to admit I ended up their once (but only once I learned quickly).

    Tart led me along. Massive knockers and good looking. Would send me about 20-50 texts a day. I plucked up the courage to ask her out for a meal. I’m not usually shy about asking birds out but this one was a stunner. She said yes. Took her to an expensive restaurant with a plan to maybe get jiggy later on. She said (during the starter), ”You realise we’re just meeting up as friends, right?”

    I then proceeded to drink loads of wine and then left in huff after telling her not to fucking lead people on like that. It’s not like I’m an ugly cunt, I’m fucking not bad to be honest. Was told several times that I looked like a young Johnny Depp back in the day.

    Was never Friendzoned after that incident though. She just wanted my company and found me funny, but the fucker knew I wanted to bone her senseless. Made a promise to myself to tell them early if I fancy them. Up to them at that point. Don’t fuck about lads. Here endeth the lesson.

  7. Another word to go on my list of things I hate. Up their with feminism, non binary, CIS males, BAME……basically all the overly offended by anything and everything brigade.

  8. A Geordie lad is about to fuck a Cockney bird.
    When he pulls his pants down she sees his cock and says, “Fucking ‘ell, that’s a nice ‘un”…
    He says, “What’s a nice ‘un..?”
    She says, “I mean that you’ve got a nice cock.”

    When she pulls down her knickers and he sees her cunt he says, “Why fooking aye man, that looks like a canny ‘un”.

    “What’s a canny ‘un..? she asks.

    “A big fucking valley that cowboys ride through”….

    • That more than makes up for the cringeworthy Tim Vine class T-Rex dad joke earlier.👍

  9. I wasn’t especially good looking – too skinny for one thing, but in my prime, the uniform used to attract the birds. They would be round you like flies round a cows arsehole.

    Probably because so few men join up these days, they feel they have to impress with money and their “caring” natures – the money alone will be enough for most of the old trollops. In my day men were men, these days so are the wimmin

    Paul Joseph Watson has done this on the subject:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7Jv43MlGd4&t=416s

    • He’s the one who introduced me to the concept. I made the mistake of posting one of his videos to facebook once.
      The outrage and accusations came flooding in.
      ‘So, you’re a far-right bigot/ misogynist/ incel/ man-child/white supremacist/Nazi as well as Brex-shit voter… i thought I knew you/you were a decent guy’.

      All I could do was laugh and tell them to fuck off.

  10. I’m worried Cuntamus. Your extraordinary, in depth knowledge of the subject makes me feel you might have been a victim.
    😅

    • No fear Bertie, i’m far too tight to spend my money on women.
      I have seen certain friends acting like Simps over the years, and seen a few of these ‘financial domination ‘sluts or ‘e-THOTs while looking at pornhub.
      Any other knowledge is usually from a deep dive into youtube .

  11. I have got to say I agree with cuntus prime, being a crippled extra from the seven dwarfs I do not kid myself.
    I have however shagged the equivalent of a page 3 model, DM700 reipherbahn, Hamburg.
    She was not only an expensive, but lousy fuck, I do not do high maint or ridiculous.
    I once shagged a 6fter doggy fashion and it looked like a great Dane being shagged by a Chihuahua in the mirror (and I fell off once) so the tall model type are unsuitable too.
    so my worldly advice is pay as you go or go for the economy version (less likely to be nicked)

    You said Dwarf!

    • Someone said on here once that if you fly it, float it or fuck it, rent it, dont buy it. My mum said to me once, after seeing the girl that I was lovesick over (embarrasses me now, the thought of it) “wait to see what she’ll look like in 30 years time, she’ll look like nothing on earth!” Yeah, nice woman, my mum. Always there with a bit of kindly advice😁 So, I started taking particular notice of 50+year old women and thought “I haven’t seen one I fancy yet, they all look like they’re gradually morphing into a bloke” So I was cured. Never got soppy over a woman again. I can see why women, particularly the older ones are attracted to mature men though. Men just get better and better with age. Going bald? No problem. Its a sign of elevated testosterone. Got a belly? 75% of women prefer flab to abs.
      https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2741786/amp/Good-news-guys-Over-75-women-prefer-FLAB-abs-Sex-therapist-Tracey-Cox-explains-women-DON-T-want-chiselled-perfection-bed.html

      Don’t waste your money in Amsterdam’s red light district though.
      The birds sitting in windows just want to get their prey inside and have it done in 10 minutes flat. So it’s straight in the room, take your dosh, cacks off, make the beast with two backs on speed 4 and if you’re not finished in 10 you’re back on the street with your Y-fronts round your ankles. Cunts. Now Sao-Paulo… generally much better looking women, friendly and good value for money. Dont forget your white leather slip ons!😉

      • Patrice “I’m a pimp!” Oneal lamented the state of prostitutes in the USA and recommended the Brazilians. Said Western hoes are way too bitter about you paying them for sex, whereas the sexy chicas actually want you to be happy with your purchase.

        Not sure as a white guy I’d recommend that strategy though..

  13. I never knew about this sort of cuntishness so I’ve learned summat new.
    I can add it to the Pantheon of spineless shit that daily tries to assault me.
    Mrs Terry lost a diamond necklace I once bought her but she does a great fry-up so no big deal.
    Also has tremendous oven skills..
    Fuck off.

  15. Women really do love a bastard-by that rational, most on here will require a shitty stick to hold em back😂.
    A new term for me also-have seen many good men succumb to female manipulation over the years.

    • I wondered if i should convert my near -sociopathic callousness from when I used to shitpost on Facebook to real life, then I will have their gussets sodden and plump, or end up with a few rasping slaps across the face and glasses of wine thrown at me.

      As Edward Hitler once said, ‘Always keep your mouth open when insulting a lady’

  16. “Forgive me father for I have sinned. I keep obeying the voices in my head and I believe that they are the words of satan”.

    “No my son, you are married”

  17. I’ve beaten them off with a shitty stick in the past too, pulling is ridiculously easy, most blokes are too bashful, were Rapunzel* not on the scene I’d be at it again.
    Make them feel at ease, make them laugh, job done. It’s harder to get rid of them afterwards, you feel like fly paper.
    SIMPs, INCELs, no need for all this modern computer lingo, fucking numpty is sufficient. These dweeb losers think that by showing some sort of affinity for their feminist side that woman will want them. The reality is, wimminz want a man, not necessarily some Alpha chest thumper, a man, not a weaselly,empathy sodden ‘friend’ who’s a good listener, a man.
    Open doors, seat her first,pay attention to her inane wittering,pretend to be pleased to listen, then turn on the charm and most times you’ll be on the job after the second date at most. If that doesn’t cut it, re-assess your strategy and bail out, either she’ll come back and give it up or she’ll fuck herself off.
    Win-win.
    I shagged that Marje Proops once, wouldn’t do it twice though.Double glazed munter.

    *She got lucky this weekend, in the kitchen, and then I made a nice roast for lunch.

    • I think ‘numpty’ should suffice in the real world.
      Lots of the about, particularly of the millennial and later generation.

  18. A wife, A Dog , and a Walnut Tree. The more you beat them the better they’ll be.

Comments are closed.