Radio Adverts.
I was listening to Smooth Radio today and noticed that the ads. all seemed to fall into one of two categories…
1st)…..Charities…..appeal after appeal for “Five Pounds a Month” for rheumatism,RSPCA, MS Trust,Cancer Research,The Endangered Snow Leopard and,of,course Um’Bongos….now I’m not saying that some of these charities aren’t doing a worthy job…I’m sure that they are but surely they must realise that most people will be too concerned about their own personal finances to want to start giving money to any charity, let alone donate to dig yet another well so that Rastus N’Bomobo doesn’t have to get off his lazy arse and go and seek water…. Charities should realise that we are all “charitied-out” (not that I was ever “charitied-in,tbh.)…too many well-paid directors and political agendas (RSPCA..I’m looking at you,you venal Cunts) for my liking involved in most charities.
2nd…..Fucking Govt. ads….Following on from the “Run,Hide,Tell” advice rearding terrorists,we now have more ” Nanny’ll tell you what to do,you’re too weak and pathetic to think for yourself” advice to “Stay Safe…only go out if you must…wash your hands…wear a mask etc.” They’d do the Country a damn sight more service by saying “Unless you are vulnerable…put down the wineglass,get off facebook,switch off netflick and GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK….the paid holiday is over,the Country is bankrupt. …Emerge from your cellars,blinking in the sunlight…grow a set of bollocks and accept that you can’t live the rest of your lives wrapped in cotton wool supported by the State.”
Fuck Off.
Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler
You failed to mention how helpful and kind the banks have become. Give it 6 months down the line, they will be rubbing their greedy hands as they bankrupt poor sods and strip their houses off them. Didn’t need to swear, used the word BANK.
17
You were in a grumpy mood when you wrote that Dick wasnt you?
I think we’d both feel better about ourselves if you made a donation to a worthy cause.
Say, a paddling pool for m’tembe?
If hes walking 15mile of desert scrub for piss tainted water he may as well fill the paddling pool cool his feet!
Come on Dick, hand in pocket, say £250?
You get a handdrawn picture off mtembe!
9
If Fiddler was on his death bed he would probably say “It was me….M’tebh ….I..(groan)…(rattling cough)….took a long piss in the waterhole….Fuck….Off.
9
Has M’tembe never heard of bottled water? Free delivery when you spend £100 or more online at Sainsbury’s. 👍😁
11
Ive more compassion than you lot I sent mtembe inflatable armbands for if he takes swimming lessons.
2
And I sent m ,tebe some diving boots and some diving equipment, , but not any oxygen tanks or any buoyancy aids , fuck that I’m not made of money
4
There’s also the adverts for the recruitment of soft as shit social workers (preferably BAME or gay) for the so called Police Service (not Force, that sounds a bit oppressive and raaaay-sist.)
Knee pads will be supplied.
Fuck Grenfell.
25
That ad is for the police? I thought we’d gone live to a United fucking Nations conference.
8
Dont know what your problem is with Grenfell Freddie, but I for one thoroughly enjoyed it and am looking forward to the next one.
16
Never even knew about the Grenfell silence, this year or the last two.
Let’s be positive, with silences for enough BAME-destroying tragedies, the cunts will have to shut up completely all the time. Can’t be bad.
Tomorrow’s silence will be for a symbolic hour and twenty-three minutes, fourteen seconds, for little M’tembe who was eaten by a lion en route to the polluted waterhole.
#grrrrrr
7
Serves M’tembe right. Little bugger should have had a slash before he set off. If he hadn’t have stopped for one on the way the lion would never have got him.
6
I wish the Grenfell obsessives would be permanently silent.
0
American radio ads are worse, reparations the phone number for 30 seconds after a brief mention of the product. You can’t remember what the cunts were trying to sell you when the ad started.
4
Repeat not fucking reparations.
2
The white guilt has got you.
*bellowing like Terence Stamp* ‘KNEEEELL!’
5
What irritates me, is the rattling off at machine gun speed of all the terms and conditions, followed by the words ‘terms and conditions apply’
8
If we dropped M’tebe where the snow leopards live, he could melt the snow and drink it and then the leopards could eat him. Two birds one stone.
© KKKwikSolutions 2020.
15
Excellent nomination.
Charities can fuck off.
The government can fuck off.
Both about as much use as having a demented dwarf parki as Mayor of London.
I’m going to have some nice wine now.
10
Smooth Radio, Dick? The mind boggles.
“Listen to the songs you love from Adele, Bee Gees, Lionel Richie and more with Smooth Radio. Relax with the greatest music, play quizzes, get the latest music news and win new competitions everyday.”
Clearly aimed at degenerate Radio Two listeners with a penchant for commercial advertising. 😂
8
I did think that but didn’t have the balls to say anything.
Dick is a true life Jekyll and Hyde 😂
7
I for one support Dick listening to 24hr ballads and love songs!
Nothing more relaxing than a nice scented candle, bubblebath in the tub, and smooth FM.
So my missus says!😁
3
I’m always surprised that commercial radio can attract any adverts at all. I mean, who the f**k really listens to what they’re peddling. If an advert comes on when I’m at home it’s time to go put the kettle on, have a pee/dump, make a butty etc. If I’m in the car it’s time to ferret around for a Werthers, have a quick swig of bottled water, readjust my testicles when they’re trying to escape from my undercrackers etc. It’s so easy to tune the crap out of your head when they’re prattling on about starving M’tebe, an APR of x%, and so on.
Call me an awkward sod if you like but, in the unlikely event an advertisers name or product registers in my head, I’m more likely than not to consciously try and avoid the said advertisers product at all costs.
I’m sure the market research companies must be fiddling figures on the effectiveness of radio adverts to justify their existence and keep the cash rolling in for the radio company shareholders.
11
Same here. I’ve become remarkably adept at mentally switching off whenever an advert comes on, radio or TV. I almost never know who was advertising what, and really don’t care.
6
Probably the last adverts on tv I paid attention to was for Playtex bras (and that wasn’t because I was developing moobs at an early age either).
6
A good nom, squire.
My favourite station at for adverts is Global’s Gold. Global area the parent company of LBC, the cunts.
The adverts are for cancer charites, care plans, funeral arrangements, river cruises…
Then on comes Adam Faith with ‘what do you want (if you dont want money.)..
I often look up and ask the lads ‘was that a Vickers Valiant that just flew over?’
6
M’tebe fuck off, move closer to the piss supply
Charidees, fuck off not my problem
Snow leopards fucking move you daft twats
Charidee CEO’S take a wage cur CUNTS
As above if an advert comes on, mentally switch off.
Could’nt give a fuck about anyone else’s problems, I’ve enough of my own.
Blinding post Mr F keep up the good work.
4
Charities are cunts.
My old ma loves animals. I knew she’d ‘sponsored’ a dog a few years ago and loved getting a ‘letter’ from the dog every now and then. Then, she asked to borrow a few quid until her pension came. This surprised me a lot, as she’d never asked before.
I went round after sending some cash into her account as I was a bit worried about her. She said she had too many bills. I put the kettle on and got all her bills listed and said ‘We’ll just get rid of stuff you don’t need if we can.”
Well first, Sky were charging her a stupid amount (over £100 a month) and a tenner a month for a crap anti virus program. Got her to call to ‘cancel’ Sky and they almost cut her bill in half. Result 1. Then cancelled the anti virus and got her a good free one which was better than the shite they gave her.
But I digress…I had also noticed about 6 or 7 charity payments by direct debit. All to animal charities apart from one to a starving Mtembe charity. Payments of 5-20 quid a month.
Now you might think my mum is stupid, but she explained that the CUNTS who came to her house were really pushy and made her feel so guilty she ended up signing up. She just wanted rid of them.
Well, after a chat she agreed to cancel all but one donation.
They are cunts because they will push old people into signing up even if they tell them they can’t really afford it.
Cunts!
10
I’ve come very close to punching some charity collectors at the door. Last year, one wanted to start an argument because I wouldn’t sign his form but his female partner told him they’d better leave. I’d told him the moment I opened the door that I wasn’t interested but he was fucking clueless.
7
I’ve remembered that when I opened the door and saw the lanyards I told them that ‘if you’re after money you’re out of luck’ and the smarmy bastard said he wasn’t after money now, he just wanted me to sign a direct debit, like I’d not know what that was. I should have dragged them both in, she’d have been entertainment until the wife found out and I could have turned him into a batch of dog food.
10
For some baffling reason I do not receive these tiresome visitors.
Human head on the gatepost probably something to do with it.
I scratched it into the wood with my stanley knife! Seriously, you people! 😄
Radio adverts? My arse, all seem to be Sean Bean advertising O2 stuff and banks telling us how much they all love us.
Prepare the Holland and Holland Sir Fiddler! (or the gold plated Purdey if it’s a special occasion!)
2
My standard response, before they even start agonising about the penguins in need of central heating, is: “Sorry…” (a lie) “…I don’t do direct debit” (the truth). This works well, in my experience.
3
It’s not just the commercial stations, either. Step forward Radio 4, this evening attempting to interest me in sending a sewing machine to Sierra Leone. WTF? Although there’s nothing going into Sierra Leone because Covid. Or maybe I dreamt it? Everything’s so fucking unreal right now…yes….that’s it…Google it and check….
“Volunteer Janet Moody took to the air on Sunday to present the BBC Radio 4 Appeal on behalf of Tools for Self Reliance”.(TSR website)
And at least 6 other charidees are also begging for sewing machines for Sierra Leone. Is this to replace HK as the world’s premium supplier of dodgy gentlemens’ suitings?
4
No, it’s just that a good SInger is a weighty thing and much cheaper than AK47 rounds.
That’s how they roll in the formerly British run “free land” of Sierra Leone.
Will somebody please just start a fucking war?
2
Radio FUCKING Four is one long advert. For cunts.
1