A “get back on your side of the fucking road!” cunting for New Zealand drivers.
A bit of a niche effort this one, which may get passed over, but our driving really is the worst. Dioclese has been here, possibly a few of you others too, so they can confirm we are fully shit behind the wheel.
Now, considering a new car here costs a minimum of $20k, has various new fangled gadgets such as “indicators” and “head lights”, it’s amazing how many of them don’t work. Or the driver is a cunt and won’t use them. One or the other anyway.
Dawn/dusk or poor visibility (fog/rain)….no cunt uses headlights.
Turning off of a road into a side street or driveway…..no cunt indicates.
Speeding and tailgating…apparently mandatory.
Busy traffic and you need to turn in from a side street….no cunt will let you in.
The times I have been courteous and let some poor fuck into the stream of traffic, I’ve had the cunt behind me honk his horn or flash his lights or even just overtake me, nearly broadsiding the schmuck pulling out.
The urge most display to not be delayed by a even a nanosecond is weird. Very fucking weird.
Then we have the absurd laws that allow 15 year old children to drive, after having been “taught” by their shit fucking driver of a parent/sibling/friend. No requirement whatsoever to undergo professional tuition. And these “lessons” are generally taken in the wanker mobile that’s been modified to fuck (dropped suspension, fat cunt exhaust, turbo blower noise enhancer).
Small fucking wonder the standard continues to decline as more people start to hit the roads
New Zealanders are (mostly) not cunts, until they get behind the wheel. Then the majority are truly fucking arseholes of the highest magnitude
Nominated by, KiwiCunt
Haven’t you got any peaceful taxi drivers over there? Untaxed, uninsured, unlicensed, prefer passengers to be young infidel girls, don’t give a fuck.
The law doesn’t apply to them.
18
Long way to go before you beat the chinese.
Born with the ability not to control a motor vehicle, a whole race that should have ‘L’plates.
Bruce Lee was the chauffeur in the Green Hornet, stupid mistake!
He may of been the poster boy of martial Arts but Bruce couldnt do a 3 point turn to save his fuckin life.
Truly useless behind the wheel stick to spreading disease you filthy yellow monkeys.
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Is Gandalf any good at driving.? Or Sauron? Just wondered.
4
How do the hobbits reach the pedals?
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They got a lift from the Urak Hai to Isengard 😂
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Driving out in the colonies used to be quite pleasant, until the natives got cars, then cuntishness reigns supreme, NZ is no different to any other places in the world on which “the sun never sets”, to be fair even the bongos would say 15 year olds driving is a fucking joke, NZ driving otherwise just sounds like enriched Britain!
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If you’re one of those buggers who is always letting people out,you deserve everything you get. I only ever let artics out. Twice I’ve run up the back of some do-gooder who slams his brakes on to let some dawdling old fart out . There’s no need for it…if I want out into a stream of traffic I just shove the nose of the pick-up out and follow it…I’ve never been side-swiped yet…although I have had cause on a couple of occasions to slam my own brakes on and get out to discuss my driving abilities with the rude Cunts who feel the need to toot their horn or make gestures at me.
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Morning Dick
Frankly I dont think you should be on the road.
In a moment of candid admission you told us you were a mentalist, and seem to get into all sorts of scrapes on the Queens highways.
You sir need a chauffeur.
☺
6
I genuinely had a Magistrate tell me that I had a worse driving record than Toad of Toad Hall. I’m fine if I just stay local…it’s if I get into town that things can get a bit hair-raising.
Morning MNC
Morning All.
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Don’t let Bruce Lee be Dicky’s chauffeur, MNC. Hehe. 🙂
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I had no problems whatsoever back in the 80’s when I visited, lovely,quiet roads etc.
I wonder if you’re talking about the modern curse of me me me that has infected the planet worse than any virus.
Little millennial cunts. Little millennial cunts everywhere.
8
Good Morning. It is the Osaka-dooshkas here. I was in my van driving from Milan To Bologna , always a busy road and following a Bulgarian lorry. I couldn’t get past as it was swerving over the lanes of the motorway. When eventually there was enough space I looked over at the driver. He had his feet up on the dash reading a book.
Matters are worse in the U.K. as their mirrors aren’t adjusted to drive on the LHS of the road so they pull out and side swipe you. I am very wary of EE truckers.
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I wouldn’t mind seeing that Blair trained, horse faced bitch of a Prime Minister of theirs in a nasty little traffic accident. One that reminded me of a famous tunnel in Paris.
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Freddie@
Know you like history, just read about the Tulsa race riots of 1921, they tried to cover it up a bit, check it out, shootings, aerial bombings, the lot.
Fascinating shit.
3
I’m watching motorway patrol at this moment in time.
There are some crazy cunt drivers on the roads down under.
I ended up in jail for the night for driving the wrong way down the road a long time ago while staying in Queensland.
Spent the night sharing a cell with five whites and five Aborigines.
7
Good bükkâke party, was it?
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Won’t be porridge for breakfast now then.
3
Already had mine. 😊
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Cheeky, cheeky, me old puff.
3
As an expat Englishman living in exile in NZ for the past 20 years, I can confirm that NZ drivers are not very courteous (ie cunts). I find this odd as Kiwis in general are extremely courteous outside their car. Tis a cuntundrum to me. Arse.
6
Driving into London from the south, Black drivers are unbelievable, wouldn’t mind betting there are a lot of these useless cunts who don’t have a licence.
3
My wife ( from Otago ) reuses to go back until that “….F ..Bitch with a gob full of F… teeth, like the keys of a piano, either f… off and dies, or gets her f…head kicked to F….. !” ( She refers of course to the Muslim and Melalin Models loving Prime Minister ) Yes. Her driving is shit, and there are onlt two items of interest in the car. The mirror ( to check herself out ) The Horn ( to blast and foul mouth other drivers )
6
Way off topic but my sister went out with a Royal Marine whose language was rich. He described one of his mates as ‘ having teeth like the keyboard of a NAAFI piano, one white,one black, one missing’.
5
Other uses for the horn are available…
3
According to statistics, there are more motorists killed in NZ sightseeing. They pull over to the side of the road to take a photo, then get wiped out by another car.
I witnessed on many occasions that the Chinks just stop in the middle of the road, especially near junctions, not knowing they have a fucking steering wheel. Cunts.
2
Rumour has it that all the cars in New Zealand are Morris Minors (if Peter Jackson’s films are anything to go by)
3
Can’t be much worse than the UK- having driven all over this Great Island of ours, I could suggest a cunting for different driving misdemeanours for almost every county.
Highlights include:
Cumbria-on rural roads (most of them), regardless of speed limit and your speed, there will always be some local “yowker” in a Hulux or rusty transit tailgating you, inbred cunts!
Greater Manchester-have indicators been banned from use between the hours of 00.01 and 23.59? Cunts.
The Midlands-it is now illegal NOT to cut the corner when turning right, Cunts.
Londanistan-compulsory use of the horn at all times. Cunts.
The Home Counties-arrogant cunts where on the roads as elsewhere, the feudal system still rules-the more expensive the car, the less courteous the driver, the weapons of choice seem to be top spec ballistic four wheel drives that only venture off road when the local village fare required parking on a field.
…..and don’t get me started on the Fucking Cyclists, particularly large groups (fully 30 plus) of retired retards, squeezed into Lycra, creating havoc-cunts.
5
They should build a wall around South Island and save the world a load of hassle.
2
Yes the 1000 mile ocean moat is not enough
3
Me and a good mate hired a couple of motorbikes while We were on deployment in NZ😁😁
We got clipped by their Police for speeding on the North Island The copper was a real piece of work who proceeded to lecture us Brits on the dangers of speeding 👎We elected to go to court to answer the charges Unfortunately We came back to Blighty 3 days later so they can fuck the hell off 🇬🇧👍👍
5
I did not myself realise how cunty NZ drivers were until moving to California where the state of the roads can be fucking atrocious but the driving is above par.
NZ drivers are impatient tail gaters who think they are the only driver on the road. They assume oncoming drivers know what they are doing so there is a lack of defensive driving and a high incident of head on collisions with a methed up oncoming driver. The highways are devoid of median barriers which propagates such fatalities. The number of yearly fatalities is over 400 which is astounding given the small population. The nihilistic Kiwi philosophy seems to be ‘take yourself out and take someone with you’.
Oh and the cars are fucking ancient. Average vehicle age is fifteen years or over. The horns do work but don’t bother using them as the cunt who almost t-boned you will have a dick in his ear and can’t hear you.
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