Cycling Vloggers

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“Look over there, LOL!” etc


YouTube cycling Vloggers.

Particularly those middle class metropolitan wankers who must spend their spare time (when not taking a knee/ basket weaving/wanking over Greta Thunberg/kiddy fiddling etc), driving around city centres (particularly Londinistan), baiting motorists so they can upload confrontations on their monetised channels.
Cunts.
A classic example is “A clown
takes a pratfall” uploaded by some smarmy cunt “uphill freewheeler”.
Mods please help a cunter and insert link, please?
Uphill fucking gardener more like-the Ronnie Pickering type driver this cunt baits almost delivers summary justice, stumbling at the last. Cunt.
I once witnessed a group of young lads surrounding a couple in their 70’s at a junction. I don’t know what heinous crime against cyclists they had committed but four twenty something lads were kicking and banging the car, the brave fuckers. The couple could not pull onto the main road as it was busy and looked terrified. When I got out and remonstrated, they fucked off.
In my humble opinion, these latex clad, head cam wearing, Greta worshipping bane to the motorist deserve a thorough cunting.
I post this as a brief distraction from Kung-flu, black-lies-matter et al.
What thinks the board?

Nominated by Cuntfinder General

70 thoughts on “Cycling Vloggers”

  1. Bloody right! Bane of my life. A personal soapbox of mine!
    I’ve no issue or axe to grind with sensible road users in or on any suitable vehicle, wishing you make use of our highways as a means of travelling from A to B and onwards. But when they start getting dressed up in dayglo body stockings and setting off in pairs, groups and gangs, it’s a different ball game entirely!
    The roads are fucking transportation conduits. Not fucking fashion parades! And NOT FUCKING RACETRACKS!
    How far would I be allowed to get my van into one of their fucking velodromes?! How much truck would the authorities have with me and a handful of mates driving in a bunch, through country lanes, spread across the full width of the road?!
    Cyclist cunts! Find somewhere to wank about “like a plague of locusts descending on the countryside” (Alan Partridge), where you are at least not endangering other road users, even if your own safety is if scant concern to you, cos it’s certainly if no concern to me.
    CUNTS!

    • What a fucking wanker. The prick cyclist over reacted to guy overtaking, who was probably pissed off stuck behind the Lycra clad bellend because he’s in the middle of the road being a cunt, then he followed the guy in the car and provoked him. I wish the guy in the car had rammed the prick and reversed over his stupid fucking head. I hate those cunts.

      • Hahaha, thats great, made me laugh that!
        “You fackin little cant”..😁

    • Moggie, that cyclist in the video was clearly in the wrong, and doubly so for winding the driver up. What an absolute can of can’t.
      Those sporty bycles should be banned and people should only be allowed to ride those old fashioned bycles with the tinkly bell and wicker basket on the front.
      Also, wearing Lycra should be banned as well unless you’re a superhero or a gymnast.

      • He should have jammed the cunt in the boot, bike and all, driven to Beachy Head and chucked him off.

    • Thank you Moggie-that is the cunt.
      Hopefully currently in traction somewhere!

    • Laugh I nearly shat 🙂 but seriously cyclists are a very worthy cunting, they prune around in Lycra and click clacks searching for virtue and eternal youth all the while exuding the behaviour of arrogant ownership. All the while why? Going to see great auntie maud? Don’t be fucking silly they know this lovely street food vegan coffee and cunt shop where they read the guardian and then cycle home for more car fumed fun hoping they might live another 5 years spreading misery…..I hope the postman is banging their wives, the women are all men to me anyway. A more prominent community of cunts I’d struggle to think of.

    • The cyclist is a fucking cunt. I hope he tried to ride straight through a lorry turning left.

    • Cyclists are twats,imagine he must be a contract waving trade union member as well, still while he,s out trying to get his teeth kicked in his mrs is learning to play the pink obow, hopefully yes ….

  3. Turn them into compote underwheel, and then shovel into Unkle Terry’s oven.

    Jobs a goodun’.

    • I’m really quite busy but can accommodate these cunts certainly.
      Thank you for your continued confidence.

  4. I’ve mentioned before about the pushbiker who wouldn’t let me through when I was driving a minibus full of lads to a planting site…single track road, uphill,crawling along, the Cunt wouldn’t pull into the side..we followed him for a fair way until the road got wider. I’d told the lad in the passenger seat to wind his window down ang give the pushbiker a tap on the top of his helmet with a rolled-up newspaper as we went past…he went a bit further..he’d rolled the paper as tight as he could and as we shot past he twatted the Cunt on the back of his neck as hard as he could….knocked the Fucker clean over the handlebars and his bike ended up under the rear wheels of the transit….even I was appalled….not so appalled that I stopped laughing or to check on him,mind. I spent the day listening to the local news in case some RTA was mentioned and we never travelled that route again,just in case.

    Fucking glad it was the days before they had those twat-mounted cameras.

    I just know that I’m going to feature in one of those “road-rage” videos…I rather look forward to it.

    Fuck them.

    • Morning Fiddler, added to another shit list of some unfortunate who has crossed your path.

      • Morning LL.

        People bring out the worst in me…rude,inconsiderate Cunts.

    • Fucking excellent fox cheser, erm im. Also appalled, karma for the twat, erm hooligans…….fuck him, erm you should be ashamed…..

  5. I hope these Tour de France wannabees choke on their shiny girls pants.
    Fuck off out of it.

    • Proof if any was needed that cyclists are CUNTS.
      I swear that I was ever a witness to a cyclist getting rammed by a car I’d give evidence for the car driver, even if he was in the wrong.
      These cunts need a right good twatting.

  7. Mamils on a Sunday are the worst. Don’t they know Lycra is for hairy 1970s yoga instructors or Freddie Mercury.

  8. I fucking LOATHE these cunts with a bastard passion. Self-righteous cunts. In all my years I have only been to ONE incident with a cyclist that was entirely blameless and had not been acting the cunt in some way. Fucking cunts think that traffic laws are advisories to them. Route I travel to work has a One-Way bit with priority to oncoming vehicles yet some cunt on a bike will try to beat me through it on a few occasions. I keep going and force them to stop and get off. When they start remonstrating I point to the dashcam and the fucking sign they’ve just ignored, usually to a cheer from the rest of the motorists held up by the cunts arrogance. Bit embarassing when I’m in uniform and I’m expecting a complaint one day, but, fuck them. Terry, need a hand loading that oven?

  9. A cuntish minority with a massively inflated sense of self worth making life miserable for the rest of us? Tell me it isn’t so.

    • Fucking hate cyclists!
      Its for kids on paperrounds or commies.
      If it wasnt for fuckin cctv these cunts would be the number one roadkill.

      • Did you notice that the accident was all his fault? Riding dangerously / without due care and attention and with earphones in.

        But for some reason it and the rest of the pavement apes it was with immediately surround and intimidate the Merc driver.

        Black lives splatter.

      • Are you after more business or summat? I hope your friend’s recovery is progressing well DCI.
        😅

      • He’s doing fine, Bertie, thanks for asking. We’re busy but I don’t mind taking a slow drive to a cyclist that’s fucked up. A gulity pleasure!

    • I thought the tea swiggers only liked 2 wheels when they have an internal combustion power source, are stolen or both😂

      Fucking bellends.

      • My stepson got violently dragged off the back of his scooter while sitting at a red light in Ladbroke grove.

        The whole thing was on CCTV and plod knew the culprit by name.

        When they finally bothered to catch up with the cunt who assaulted the boy and stole his wheels, this was their response….

        ‘The person who took your scooter says you gave it to him to ride’.

        The stepson says: “No, I didn’t. So where is my scooter”?

        Coppers: “The person who you gave your scooter to says he had it stolen from him.

        We have now cautioned that person for riding without a helmet”

        Try to get the insurance to pay out on the back of that bullshit.

        Hope the cunt who stole it was on the upper floors of Grenfell.

        The police are utterly useless, politically correct wankstains.

      • The only justice those shit streak cunts get is when plod knocks them off their stolen bikes, but like fucking cockroaches, they fucking survive. They need to weld spikes on the front of those cop cars….

    • What a cunt, shining example of BLM im the victim even though he deserve to have his bike stuffed up my arse these cunts still try to take the high road…

  12. The salmon gaff kept in the passenger footwell could be deployed in really serious cases.

  13. My pet hate spacially unaware wankers. i’m a cyclist!! No you are a cunt.
    Unkle Terry you need some loading assist with the oven?

  14. I’m not sure that there’s any reason for an adult to ride a bicycle, I am however confident that there’s no reason to dress in Lycra, wear a stupid Alien hat, spend a fortune on some mincing bike and generally act like a prick on the roads. It’s Cyclist with a capital C, and Cunt with a capital C.

  15. There’s been more of these cunts than normal, thanks to lockdown, as the dress up, shaved leg wankers go out for their ‘exercise’. Stuck behind one prick yesterday, and the desire to ram the cunts off the road is getting stronger every day.

  17. These lycra wankers with expensive racing bikes all have an Audi at home on their drive any way.
    A black one with the usual disabled brakes and indicators.
    Hypocritical cunts…

  18. Cyclists, not all cunts but you have to meet a lot of Lycra clad cunts before you meet a cyclist who isn’t a cunt.

    • And even then .. .. ..

      The local council here spent millions putting in paved cycle routes, well off the road or even nowhere near a road at all. I have a lovely WW1 era 3-speed bicycle, quite high gears, I ride it a bit but always avoid roads. Cunt-heads on the other hand ignore the cycle path and go straight down the road like idiots. It’s actually really boring to cycle along a road. I have alternative routes for wherever I go that involve approx. zero road, other than a short stretch from the house, and they’re great fun. Even when using a bicycle + trains to get around when likely to be on the sauce there are many more side streets than main roads. But do they use them? Of course not. You’d never see me on a main road at all.

      Unless in the cuntmobile, obviously. I stopped driving on the pavement years ago.

  19. Funny you should mention BLM in your nom CG, because here we seem to have, is another group of cunts that perceive themselves as persecuted victims before anything has happened to them and therefore are out to avenge the wicked oppressers (the motorists in this case) at every little opportunity. A lot of them posess a sense of sanctimony that is infuriating. They give dirty looks and mouth obscenities at traffic lights because they haven’t been given half the available road space to use as the fucking whimps are actually scared to death by other forms of traffic and are only really confident on a velodrome or dedicated cycle lane. Cunts.

    I used to ride my racing bike to work in the seventies amongst stinking, polluting buses and cars burning blue smoke which wasn’t unusual those days. I was being cut up, honked at, often unable to pull up on the left side of the road at lights and didn’t have a helmet because you couldn’t get them. I just accepted that I was a lower status and more vulnerable road user otherwise I would have reg plates and insurance.

    But we live in a culture of ‘rights’ now. I never saw cyclists kicking cars or surrounding cars like a pack of fucking hounds 40-50 years ago. Unheard of as far as I was concerned. Today we have groups for this, groups for that etc that encourage anarchy and give even the most skinny gutted, 9 stone stick insects like a lot of these cycle warriors the confidence to get cocky. Cycling vloggers were once the kids that got decked in the playground and their brief case thrown over the fence. Now they try and expose motorists on YouTube by reading out their reg number and moralizing about road manners as you listen to that fucking crackling sound as they travel along filming it all.

    Don’t you just love the videos where these weeds get their come uppance and get pulled off their state of the art carbon fibre bikes in retaliation and left in a heap in the road the cunts. YouTube Gold.

    • so true Dai – the weedy nerds who had their heads shoved down the bogs are now the cunts running the country. The kids in my school who used to shit himself in class every other day is probably head of the civil service or something.

  20. Riding two grands worth of pretension they will never use properly, wearing the stupid outfits, riding 3, 4, 5 abreast, always shouting. Never use their grass cams to show them running lights, riding the wrong way on one way streets, generally acting like pricks. 12 stone of Human Vs 2 Tonnes of vehicle – only ever one winner there you plastic Olympians!
    Bad attitude guaranteed, take malicious pleasure in holding traffic up. Cunts, in general – I ride everywhere but understand a bike is a road vehicle – ride it properly, safely, legally and considerately or don’t be on the road.
    On other news, I may have just bought a new Specialized Cirrus – laarvly – just need to avoid a thrashing from a rolled up copy of the Financial Times accompanied by a loud “fuck off – you’re a fucking disgrace”! 😀
    They give responsible homicidal psychopaths like me a bad name! 😁

    • Morning Vernon.
      If you ever decide to take a cycling holiday in rural Northumberland, please let me know. I wouldn’t want to put you in the ditch…other pushbiking ISACers will.of course. be treated with the same courtesy and respect…….
      🙂 .

      • Dont believe a word of it Foxy!
        Hes luring you to your doom!
        He invited me on a rambling trip to see some viking artifacts,
        Asked me to put on a ‘traditional Northumbria fell jacket’ had a bleedin 🎯 bullseye target on back!-

      • It’s OK – we’ll go in disguise as HMRC investigators – methinks a warm welcome will be all but guaranteed!

  21. We need the drivers from the New Zealand Drivers nomination to sort out these cans of can’t bicyclists.

  22. Further to my earlier rant – all bicycles should have an annual safety check and insurance if they are on the road – any without insurance have the bike seized.
    And all cyclists should pass a competency test before being allowed to ride on the road.

    • There used to be the cycling proficiency scheme, not sure what happened to it but it should be compulsory along with the Highway Code test, I agree Insurance should be mandatory to ride on the public highway.

      • And to walk on the public highway. I’ve lost count of the number of vacuous cunts I’ve almost spread across the road they’re trying to cross without even glancing up from their phone. At least some insurance would pay for the various services to scrape them up off the road into a box for disposal.

  23. One of the great joys of the ending of lockdown (and I remind them at any and every opportunity) is that the cars are coming back to RECLAIM THE STREETS. It fucks them off no end and you usually get a middle finger but I just give it some revs and a friendly wave

  24. If its not enough that it feels like there’s 5 billion cars on the roads, we have to contend we’ve these wankers as well. Our roads are not designed for both car and bicycle, a lot of roads struggle to just fit a car on. For fucks sake why not just use Shank’s pony if you want some exercise. Considerably more safer and better for us car drivers blood pressure.

  25. Some of those racing bikes cost up to £10k.

    You can buy a decent car for that, tax it, insure it and run it for a year.

    Better still, you can get four mates inside it, stay warm and dry in the winter and cool and dry in the summer.

    And no one will think you’re a cunt for doing so.

  26. I think that cunts that cycle on the road next to a cycle path should be shot and hung from a lamp post as a reminder to other cyclists not to act the cunt. That should ensure they’d understand their folly.

  27. Glad to see it’s not just me-although it was the “baiting ” vloggers out for road justice, in my nom, there are many examples of cuntishness from these paragons of virtue.

    -parents transporting children to school, in a fucking trailer towed behind the bike, trucks, vans, buses thundering past, an accident waiting to happen. Note to the parent: you may think you are saving the environment-but what about moonchild’s delicate little lungs. Cunt!
    -Grandpa snuff-for fuck sake, that hill is too steep, stop blocking traffic, get off, get on the pavement and push. Better still, go back to sparking near the local primary school, armed with a pack of werthers originals, Cynthia!

    -fat businessmen, from the state of your red face, your considerably younger wives will be popping the bubbly and enjoying the substantial insurance payout, whilst bouncing on the cock of their gym instructor/tennis coach/gardener very soon. You can’t compete with the younger studs. Cunts!

      • CG, that’s hilarious! 😀

        “If you suffer from an itchy Cynthia, use Vagisil feminine wash”. 😀

  28. I don’t know why getting onto a bicycle turns some people into such righteous cunts. There was one near me this morning – perfectly good cycle land installed at great expense to the taxpayer, and he’s decided to cycle on the road instead. I live in Essex, not fa rout of London and, to be honest, I dread weekends with all the cyclists coming out this way. I generally won’t ride my motorbike at weekends because of these cunts.

    By the way, Dave Sherry is a mega-cunt (look him up on Youtube – he lives round here somewhere).

  29. Just had a butchers at YouTube-check out “Cyclingmikey”- appears to be a London based saaaarf-Africunt, riding around dispensing justice to drivers, pedestrians and even fellow cycunts with equal measure.

    How on earth do these cunts manage to retain their teeth????

  30. If Jeremy Vine didnt bleat on about being one of these Lycra gimps you could probably guess he was one.
    Condescending, hand-wringing, droning skinny cunt.

    Cyclists need to watch out. A hooked clothesline from me will fuck them up. While they roll on the ground i’ll throw their fucking bike in the river or drive over it.

    • I drive for a living, never had any points on my license, tickets, fuck all.
      I treat other roadusers with respect, arctics, low loaders, vans cars, motorbikes etc
      But then they pay road tax like me .
      I hit some gormless cunt on a 🚲 on a country road, can pretty much guarantee you
      A) it was his fault
      B) no cameras /witnesses I’ll not stop.

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