Versus Athritis

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Verses Arthritis ads need a stiff cunting, you must have seen the ads, you know the ones, old bit looking mourfull at the prospect of climbing the stairs, you guy the lives in a caravan in tears because he’s in to much pain to fuck anymore ,effnik woman teacher who cant get out of bed and now my personal favorite kid on a beach with his granny, brat cant pronounce his R,s so it goes – gwanny is in so much pain because of her awfwitis, she cant wun on the beach anymowe, at cwismass we cant go to chuwck or twick or tweet at Halloween all because of awfwitis.
Please donate 10 bwitish cuwency of the wealm foe awfwitis….
Fucking hell this must negative advertising and no good can come of it for these cunts..?

Nominated by Fuglyucker

 

Like to add to that.
The ad wheels out the poor old sods who are totally crippled. Then out comes the Versus Arthritis begging bowl and miraculously there’s the same crippled old codgers leaping over 5 bar gates.
And there’s not a single mention of how this bunch of legalized beggars achieve any of this or what they actually do with your hard earned dosh.
I have arthritis and Mrs D has it worse than me in her feet and hands. Both of us find the latest round of shameless begging intolerable, but this bunch of cunts we find really offensive. Every time the ad comes on the words brick and screen come to mind.
What a bunch of total cunts…

Nominated by Dioclese

38 thoughts on “Versus Athritis”

  1. The next time one of those Charidee cunts stops me in the street I am going to ask what percentage of the recipients are ….. (1) gimmigrants
    (2) pikeys
    (3) poofs
    (4) trannies
    (5) remoaners
    (6) peacefuls

    If I don’t get a satisfactory answer (ie 0%) then they ain’t getting a fucking penny. That’s the way it is from now on. Tough shit.

    • We already pay for charity. It’s called National Insurance and it takes 12% out of everyone’s paychecks. Plus Foreign Aid.

      Cunts.

  2. This current WuhanFlu seems to have spawned a surge in the ” let’s all be nice and help each other” message….and I find it intolerable.

    I’m sure that some charities use the odd coppers that are left over after paying the bosses premiership footballer-sizes salaries for good…but I don’t really care. I didn’t care before and the current economic outlook hardly encourages me to start worrying about whether some old fart can go ballroom-dancing or take their revoltingly cute grandbrats to the beach for the day.

    Now,before anyone starts,I’m sure that arthritis is terrible (blah,blah,blah) as are so many of the other things that charities are always banging on about…but I quite simply don’t care..if charity money could really change anything, Africa wouldn’t have a single starving Um’Bongo…but it does..millions of the buggers.

    Every respect to the odd charities who really do good…but there aren’t many of them and I always wonder just how much return the charities who mount high-profile tv/radio begging appeals get for their expensive ads…very little I suspect.

    I haven’t got arthritis so it really is no concern of mine…although I will,of course,be the first in line for a handout from them should I suffer from the odd twinge in the future.

    The RSPCA are total Cunts.

  3. Thieves on an industrial scale.
    All of them should have to broadcast adverts that clearly state what percentage of their gross donations directly help those in need.
    Anyhow,fuck them all.

  4. An elderly couple in a nursing home got together but the old lady was suffering from arthritis and wasn’t too keen on things happening downstairs . The old man was hot to trot and as the weeks went by he was eager to get in her knickers. They kissed and fondled each other for ages and he couldn’t see a problem with things going all the way. One afternoon his luck was in and when she had finished sucking his cock he thought he had better be a gent and return the favour. He asked her if everything was ok down there and she said it was fine, but as he sunk his face into her groin he got an horrific stench of shit. He said “I thought your arthritis wasn’t a problem down here ?” To which she replied “Oh it isn’t down there, it’s in my hand and I can’t wipe my arse”.

    • Need a lot more than a few shit tickets no matter how deftly wielded to tempt me down there. Nowt but a full bidet, shower, dry polish and perfume. Don’t mind the rough but hate a heavy track.

  5. National charities are all cunts, especially when they have CEOs on board early 6 figure salaries.

    Plus I am pretty sure any medical charity, such as cancer et al, could probably find a cure in no time, but then that would mean an end to the easy gravy train from the gullible public.

    I give my spare cash anonymously to local charities that I know and trust; not some big corporation that can afford expensive TV ads during primetime.

    They should give all the rich cunts like Branson, Lily Mong and Linekunt a bell and ask them to cough up (Although knowing those cunts they’d be looking for some kind of tax benefit before parting with their millions.)

    Bollocks to all of them!

    • I give all of them nowt.
      Charity begins and ends at home.
      Arthur itis can get fucked too
      Stop moaning, do a few star jumps.

    • St Bonio of Oireland has a ‘charidee’ , St Bonio doesn’t accept a salary from the charity, St Bonio’s charity received £9.5 million in donations in 2008 yet paid just £118,000 to good causes.
      Even better causes were the £5 million spent on wages.
      St Bonio of Oireland needs to be afflicted with arthritis of the gob which might go some way to solving his verbal bollocks issues.
      Charities are to fixing world problems what the Emperor Nero was to fire prevention.
      Search Bono One charity scandal.
      If M’dudu has to walk five miles with a leaky bucket of water then M’dudu needs to move nearer the water supply and fix the fucking bucket, dear Henry, you cunt.
      Good morning.

  6. I get roid rage now and again (haemorrhoids).

    Where’s my charity donation when my ringpiece flares up. It’s no laughing matter, let me tell you. Worse than genocide.

    • I commiserate with you Cuntybollocks, I have the same affliction and it’s no laughing matter…

      Sometimes my arse feels like a battleground.

      Try Germolene, I swear it works wonders, just slather it on, it stings like fuckery for a few seconds then when the anesthetic kicks in, blessed relief follows.

      • Owen Jones?

        Once he came within ten yards, my ringpiece would go into full ‘gayness avoidness mode’ and clasp shut tighter than the hand of one of our Scottish friends riding a waltzer, while holding onto a 50 pence piece he’d just found in the carriage.

        If I was suffering with the arse grapes of hell at the time, they might indeed burst due to the arse protection spasm. Indeed, this may prove to be both an unconventional and painful remedy to my on/off arse hell.

      • Different kind of relief, I think with Deep Heat the agony stops when you pass out. BTW I heard it’s not a suitable balm for an onanist either.

  7. I was in the queue at the cashpoint the other day and this old Doris in front of me said she had arthritis in her fingers and could I help her check her balance. I was only too happy to oblige.
    So I pushed the old cow over.

  8. Fucking hate the starvin’ Marvins coming on the screen when I’m eating my lunch. How thoughtless of the cunts. Or that fucking donkey being made to walk with a fucking broken leg by one of our lovely ‘diverse’ friends.

    That cunt making that donkey work in that state? I’d fucking donate towards having him have his ankle broken with a lump hammer and forced, at gunpoint, to walk up some stairs for weeks on end, the fucking cunt.

    What’s the point donating if that cunt keeps the donkey? Do you think he’ll spend the donation on a vet bill or on a child bride?

    Fucking cunt.

    • I give a fiver a month to the WWF, but I’d give more if their mission statement was to hang every poacher on the planet by the bollocks from the nearest tree and breaking their arms so they can’t free themselves. I’d do the same to anybody who bought medicine made from poor dried, ground up animal and that means you, you little yellow cunts.

  9. Haven’t watched TV for years now. I think the last thing I did watch was an episode of ’24 Hours in Police Custody’.

    I just download (free of charge, of course…) anything that interests me and watch it that way.

    Long story, short – I haven’t seen this advert, but I’ll have a look online for it…

    • I wouldnt bother 3D.
      Moaning Minnies scrounging for imaginary ailments.
      Nothing a bit of manual labour wouldnt solve.
      As mother Teresa famously said
      “if you can suck dick you can earn a living”

      • Actually that was Princess Diana. I understand the confusion as they snuffed it round about the same time. Though Teresa wasn’t buried in a Y shaped coffin.

      • Sorry Freddie, get them confused.
        Looked similiar, both preachy, both liked a lenth.
        ☺

      • Looked similar? Now you’re confusing Teresa with Camilla Horseface. I think Camilla was the only one of the two who chomped on Charlie’s cock.

      • Dame Elton recorded songs for both – Diana’s being Candle in the Wind, Mother T’s was Sandals in the Bin

  10. Arthritis? Apply a ginger poultice and fuck off. Ginger’s cheap enough to not need charideee, even more so if one ‘absent-mindedly’ (as the oldies are wont to do) scans it through the self-serve till as ‘onions’.

  11. Too many ads about now and I have become immune to the “tugging of heart strings” rhetoric. What we need to see is creativity and innovation in charity requests for help.

    For example – Bird with big tits in a balaclava with a double barrelled sawn off, screams “Gimme some fucking money or this cunt gets it before the leukaemia does!” as her symbol of power points at a small bald kid’s head in pyjamas….

    Where do i send my fiver?

  12. The adverts are marginally more tolerable than the student cunts dressed like Paramedics on the high street “Hi, how are you today?…please can I have two minutes of your time..pleeeeeaasse”

    What is it? RSPB – Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds? Good they freak me out – How much do you want? Oh, you want to protect birds? FUCK OFF THEN!
    What is it? Polio – You want me to pay money to an elite bunch of privileged cunts riding about on a horse twatting a ball about? FUCK OFF

    What is it? Save the Children? Surely, we are reaching a point of global over population now, do we help the aged or save the children? We deal with the issue at both ends – FUCK OFF!

    And so, on and so forth….

  13. Fuck me! Great link. Seeing it all set out in corporate speak like that is truly sickening. Yeah, it really is a fucking business.

  14. I asked my ninety five year old gran who suffers terribly from arthritis, “What’s it like to be old and bedridden?”
    She said, “Nowadays I just hold on to the headboard and take it up the arse”….

  15. The woman in the nomination picture, where is the rest of her body?
    Also, she is doing the first letter to the YMCA song by the Village People.

    P.s morning all. I hope all are well. 🙂

  16. Yet another, yet again. Charity ad, gambling ad, don’t gamble too much now ad, charity ad – it never stops, we are trapped under house arrest and being sent mad by this hateful detestable shit!
    Thieves masquerading as saviours. Every charity ad should contain details on the CEO’s salary, what percentage actually goes to “charity” and which Country the alleged aid goes to.
    I fucking hate them, we are going to the wall financially with the spectre of financial ruin in the future – and guess who will end up having to permanently pay higher taxes? Yes, yet again, those with the least – I can’t see gippo Branson or Bono putting their hands in their tax avoiding pockets to bail us out.
    Fuck charity, there is no such thing anymore, just corporate greed masquerading as kindness.

    • I haven’t seen this ad, maybe they’re not showing it in my area. I also have arthritis and I don’t ask for donations, I just keep taking the co-codamol like others do. We don’t grin but we bear it.

  18. Nice work a comprehensive cunting within a cunting with entertaining anecdotes and references.

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