Revisionist TV Editing

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Not being on benefits i can’t afford a 65″ smart tv.

Instead I make do with an old 40″ set on which I happily watch old shows from the 70s mostly.

The thing that pisses me off is REVISIONIST TV EDITING which in mho deserves a cunting.

When I’m watching an episode of The Sweeney for example I don’t want some of the best and funniest bits removed. For example when Regan refers to “aussie hoofs” (poofs) or when Carter sarcastically pretends to be “glad I’m gay”. All references to slags or sluts are taken out in fact anything demeaning to gays or women. This is the 70s for fecks sakes!!! Leave it how it was made. Nobody under 30 will be watching anyway they lack the nous to follow a real plot unlike the infantile Killing Eve.

Nominated by Lord Helpuss

89 thoughts on “Revisionist TV Editing”

  1. I’ve noticed “bastard” and “bitches” being edited out even on Talking Pictures, which is entirely a retro channel, and each 1940s/50s film has to be prefaced with a sincere apology for “bad langauge” and “outdated attitudes to race”. I can understand this on the snowflake channels like ITV but Talking Pictures, from the days that men were men and the likes of Alan Carr were poofters?

    • Any eddy murphy film had “mother-fucker” dubbed over with “melon farmer” when on before 9pm.

    • If you’re not fast enough with the ‘TV Guide’ or ‘FF’ button when the usherette disappears you get treated to a full dose of diversity, it’s almost is if .. I fucking hate that.

    • I saw Kind Hearts And Coronets on Talking Pictures TV a few weeks ago. Naturally they edited out the 2nd line of the old rhyme below.

      Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
      Catch a nîggér by the toe;
      If he hollers let him go,
      Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

    • Talking Pictures did it with Danger: UXB. Edited out the line “They’ve all fucked off” in the first episode and then blurred out some bare female breasts in another episode. For fuck’s sake, I’m a grown man and most of the people who watch these shows are adults. The vast majority of people won’t be offended.

  2. Love the Sweeney. A London of happier times. No east Europeans (all happily behind the iron curtain), few blacks and pakis. Pooftahism being the abnormal, rather than normal. Birds slapped on their arse and pubs full of drinkers and fag smoke. Bring it back. Capstan full strength should be on prescription – the smoke will kill covid stone dead.

    • I like the scene in the Feet of Clay episode when Regan and Carter are interviewing an Arab who has been robbed of his winnings from gambling.

      Regan: “Where’d you been?”
      Arab: “Gambling.”
      Regan: “Ooohh, who’s a naughty Abdul? You wait till Allah hears about this.”

      https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3o9ufj 12:32

      Brilliant!

      • I’ve seen it on ITV4 a couple of times and this scene is edited out by some woke cunt.

      • Do you remember Tinkerbell from one The Professionals episodes? Morbidly obese arab who was defending the Sawalha sisters’ father.

      • That was the Blind Run episode. Absolute mayhem topped off with a Princess limo being driven off a railway platform.
        Ah the days of decent telly…

  3. If they made that today Reagan and Carter would be on an endless diversity course interspersed with skateboarding with the treehuggers and discussing the constant threat of the “far right.” Their boss would obviously be Chief Inspector Mohammed Mahmoud OBE.
    Wouldn’t make much of a tv show to be honest.

    • And speeding to make arrests for hate crime, Owen Jones getting bitch slapped by a 5 year old girl

    • They’d be fucking vegans as well; no booze or coffin nails either. it doesn’t bear thinking about.
      All together now! ‘We’re the Sweeney, and we ‘aven’t ‘ad any dinner!’.

      • Yoohoo! We’re the sweeney and we avent had our tofu!!
        Go on George stick the sandal in!..

      • “Oh! Guv”!
        “What’s up George”?
        “Dropped my skinny soy latte getting on my knees to apologise to that poor waycially discwiminated against t*rrorist”! 😢
        “OMG! In the Prius! Update Facebook! Starbucks! Naaaah”!
        “Is there a safe space and a shelf for a Man bag in the back”?..

  4. The Yesterday Channel repeats of Porridge are prefaced by a warning of “this show contains some out of date language”.

    “Out of date language”. Utter 21st century bollockspeak designed to appease the snowflakes who will faint at hearing some of Fletcher’s utterings.

    • And yet you don’t get warnings before new programmes about gays literally arseing around or left-wing cunts talking utter bollocks.

    • Thing that were common place, everyday, mainstream things have become in a short space of time, taboo and shocking.
      Dont know about you but I never got the memo?
      Those old shows, The Sweeney, Minder, etc were made in a much more straightforward time, the rules have changed, but they were much better than todays tv even if it makes snowflakes cry.
      A straight white man cant be anything on tv now but a villian.

      • “Out of date language”
        Psh.
        Next they’ll be omitting scenes of a man greeting his black Labrador in Dambusters.

      • Afternoon Cap.

        Some TV executive was probably shitting themselves at the first mention of Bomber Command and the lack of strong wimminz.

      • They would change it to “Bummer Command”.
        And gravel voiced “face like a robbers dog” alleged actress Jodie Whittaker in charge.
        And the planes would never get off the ground – all the time would be spent making chiridee adverts filming the pilots doing laps round the airfield.
        “Sir! – n*ggers been run over”!
        “Everyone to the safe space, get the soy latte ready”!

      • They already edit it out and those Lancasters were dropping Sir Barnes Wallis patent fluoride tablets into the drinking water. To help our EU cousins keep their little knashers clean.

      • It happens on Radio 4 Extra (Radio 4 itself is up to it’s arsehole in diversity), when they repeat Round The Horne,for example – as they are doing on Thursdays at the moment – they add the caveat that the show is “over 50 years old” – Julian and Sandy are still there though I expect one or two sketches are heavily edited as this 30 minute show often only runs for 26 minutes.

  5. The Sweeney used to be broadcast at either 9 or 10pm on ITV back in the 70s – past the so-called watershed for adults-only viewing.

    I’ve no idea what time the show (and similar 70s dramas) are shown nowadays. If its in the afternoon or early evening then perhaps I can understand the censorship. But if they’re chopping the best bits and broadcasting after the watershed, then they really are complete cunts!

    So much for freedom of expression. And this is just the thin end of the politically-correct wedge: Big Brother is here (or should I say, “Prominent Personage” in case it causes offence)

    • The Sweeny, Professionals and Minder are all currently shown in the mornings and afternoons on ITV4, Freeview Channel 24…

  6. The following programme contains violence and racially offensive language from the start.
    Good. Snowflakes and nancies can go to bed, the wankers.

  8. Off Topic- saying about a extra bank holiday in October on the news, and trying to encourage people to holiday in the UK, good if it generates some money into UK coastal and rural towns.

    • Could do with it up here. All the poor cunts who work in the leisure industry are sat behind the front door waiting for redundancy notices. Suppose ch1nk1es will be the first thing to reopen though. Bats balls in ok sauce for me.

      • The locusts will re-open the coastal resorts because by then they will own them.

      • Not far off there. Afraid to say. Three of the fucking bat canteens up here already.
        Locusts is a bloody good description.

      • Where i live the local parish council would’nt let costa coffee, the chinois takeaway, and the indian takeaway to open up in the small town we have, they are banished to the outskirts on an industrial business park, costa thought fuck that and never bothered, nice one parish council.

    • Yes, we’ll all have to have a weekend away in the UK whilst respecting the 2m safe distancing, being alert and…..oh yeah, staying at home. Stay alert, protect the NHS, make sure beaches are free of native British scum so quality immigrants can land safely.

  10. Try streaming the Dukes of Hazzard online, they have now blurred out the ‘Confederate flag’ from the roof of the General Lee

  11. I recently watched the entire series of The Sweeney, The Professionals, Kojak and Quincey on ITV3. Even though they’re dated, they’re all still far better entertainment than a lot of the shit that we have today. I pray they don’t try to remake any of them. Bodie would be a toxic white male on account of him being ex-SAS, Doyle would be transgender, and George Cowley would be Georgina Cowley, because, y’know, women must always be in positions of authority now.

    • And they’d all be poncing around in hybrid eco cars instead of 3 litre Capris.
      Handbrake turns are just soooo unethical….

  12. Fuck me I didn’t know the rotten cunts did this.
    Shit a brick nowt is sacred,has to be watered down for The Gay and The Offended Ones.
    What a barrel of rats.

  13. Old shows with warnings about ‘out of date language’ deserve a cunting all of their own.

    Where is my warning when I’m eating my dinner watching a mainstream channel drama show and two blokes start snogging and simulate bumming?

    Because it happens way too often, it makes me want to puke and nobody seems to give a fuck about my feelings then.

    Best ‘out of date language’ has to be the Major in Fawlty Towers with his rant that started, ‘I knew a woman once. I took her to see India….at the Oval!…”

  14. Unfortunately I missed large chunks of TV due to living abroad or being in some shit hole busy, As such I have been playing catch up on U Tube with various programs/series,
    I was watching “It will be alright on the night” with dead bloke Norton (Not the gay one) any way he started off with “This is our late night adition so we will show you things we normaly leave out, If your cheeks are quick to colour have an early night”.
    Non of this so sorry shit, just a simple “You may see tits here” message.
    Why are people so easily offended?

  15. I have all the Sweeney, uncut on DVD before all this revisionist cuntery took hold. Close up on Carter, holding a phone, making enquiries about a pair of villains. “Was ‘e wiv a Kune?” George asks. Bet that episode hasn’t been on lately, they would probably have to cut so much of it, the ad break would be longer than the show, including titles. Get fucked.

  16. I recall watching Blackadder II on Dave. Blackadder and Baldrick have to make some money and head to the docks. They meet a burly sailor who misses his Mum and wants them to tell him a story. Our two heroes think they’ve made easy money. After the story, the sailor then says “Right…. how much do you charge for a good hard shag ?”. That last statement makes the whole scene…… and you guessed it….. they edited it out making the whole scene pointless.
    Humour died long ago….. we now have unfunny box ticking comedians whose only purpose is not to offend.

    • I wonder what Mr Ben “right on” Elton would say about his work being censored. Probably nothing if he wants to keep flogging books and getting airtime on Radio 4….

  17. It is true that Sweeney, Minder et al are on in the mornings and afternoons on ITV4 but so they have been for years and it is only recently that they have edited stuff out. The programmes are castrated.

    Life on Mars was a good series but the guy from the “future” was always pointing out the error of Gene Hunt”s ways which got a bit tedious. And the bird who took over in Ashes to Ashes was a real politically correct plonker.

    Why do we have to apologise for the fact that life was different 40 years ago?

    • I am acquaintance of a relation of one of the writers of Life On Mars, and he said the fan mail that DCI Gene Hunt got was unbelievable! Unfortunately, the minority are ruling the majority. The hand-wringing cunts.

      • DCI Gene –
        Sorry if you’ve already provided an update which I’ve missed, but was wondering about your buddy who’s laid up in hospital with the Flu Manchu.

      • Thanks for asking, IY. Miracle of miracles, he’s out of intensive care and in a rehab ward! We’re stunned! We thought the cunt had had it. I had me eye on his stethascope, too😅

      • THANKS for the update and that’s really great news. I’m soooooo pleased to hear that. Made my day that has.

        I’ll say this though, he’s probably still in a weakened state, so you could snag his stethascope when he’s not watching. 😅

        All the best.

  19. I recently watched all the episode of The Young Ones on DVD. It’s still funny.

    Believe it or not, in one episode a police officer wearing sunglasses (that’s the basis for the joke) attempts to apprehend an upper class, suit wearing snob type character who’s about to ring the front door bell of the student house. When he asks in very proper English if there’s a problem, the plod takes off his sun glasses and says, “Sorry sir, I thought you was a nîggér”.

    Can’t imagine that episode getting aired uncut these days.

    • Any series that has Motorhead playing in the living room gets my vote!
      (I believe my character would be Vyvyan Bastard MD) 😀

      • Miming more like, Big Vern. That said, the Motorhead episode is one of the best – the University Challenge piss take. My favourite is the one featuring The Damned. The one with the video rented from Harry The Bastard. Great stuff.

        Could not believe my eyes though. Madness were on twice. Bunch of cunts. That prick Suggs gets right up my nose. Wish he’d fall down a well.

  20. Its cultural vandalism, pure and simple. Probably won’t be long before Shakespeare’s plays are edited down to something incoherent. No more Othello, too much violence in Hamlet and Macbeth so that will have to go. As some other posters have said, the message should be, if you are easily offended/triggered, then please don’t watch it/read it.

    Or come back when you have grown up.

    • “Shall I compare thee to a summers gay – thou art more unfair and intolerant”..
      On other news, I am getting arseholed on Stella.
      Beast in 3 hours..

      • How did that Stella binge work out for you, Big Vern?

        Don’t mind a bit of Stella myself. It’s difficult for me to get too drunk on beer. Before I get that drunk I can’t drink anymore simply because I’m full. I just can’t take in any more liquid. Now wine on the other hand….smaller quantities and higher booze content. That gets the job done. The ultimate though is a margarita. You can’t beat a frozen sangria swirl marg on a blistering hot Houston day. Four of them and I’m wankered.

        That reminds me, we’re nearly all out of tequila.

    • It started some time back Weary, years ago I was in Much Ado About Nothing and had the line “I’d marry her were she an Ethiope”, which was cut. Because if there’s one thing BAME love, it’s going to the theatre to watch Shakespeare.

  21. It highlights how much our world view is programmed by the media. One of the cast of friends felt she had to defend the series after it was attacked for being homophobic, too white, blah blah.

    The false reality of TV and advertising, we all have BAME friends, love drag queens and want to be EU citizens. I don’t have a circle of friends like that, I don’t work for the BBC or live in Brighton though.

    The Sweeney was entertaining, no agenda just coppers dishing out some justice whilst nicking villains.

    • You’re right, 6DV. I think it was David Schwimmer (Ross) who said that. I also recall him explaining how he had to force the writers to give him a black girlfriend because they weren’t being inclusive enough. FFS!

      Who knows though. The Hollywank set are forever virtue signalling. Fact is, Friends would not be made now with that cast. Absolutely no way. It was of its time and there’s nothing wrong with that. The only real mystery is why Jennifer Aniston hasn’t slept with me yet. I mean, what’s her fucking problem? Playing hard to get obviously. She’s such a tease.

  22. I despise Killing Eve. I have no problem with the gay representation, it’s the fact we are supposed to side with the serial killer, even laughing at their actions. Why the fuck do we idolise such things in fiction? Thank God these cunts are dealt with appropriately in the real world, where their stories are sources of morbid curiosity, and their suitably grim deaths act as deterrents from such abhorrent behaviour (I’m 35 btw).

  23. Happily, I don’t have TV and that can all get to fuck.
    If I want to be mind fucked I take to alcohol, not the media and fraudcast shite.
    Cobblers, good evening and fuck off.

  24. It says it all that reality from 40+ years ago is censored, whereas these days we happily pass the ‘comedies’ of Seth Rogen and co at ’15’. In which every other word is fuck, weed is promoted as cool, and sex and sexuality are portrayed in the most vulgar debased ways their sewer brains can concoct. Talk about messed up morals.

  25. When repeated, the BBC beep out “mongs” from The League of Gentlemen Christmas Special, “no way you big spastic” from I’m Alan Partridge (the first series when it was still funny) etc.
    I’ve been watching To The Manor Born on DVD recently (and before we get too dewy-eyed and nostalgic I should point out that it is pretty shit), there’s an episode at a train station which contains several shots where a poster featuring Jimmy Savile is visible. They pixelate that out now.
    Possibly a little too late chaps?

  26. Good thing they don’t mess about with older classic British films……..now back to the gogglebox to watch The Dambusters

  27. Talking of Blackadder, I caught a repeat on TV the other day,
    Series 2 episode 1 where the woman plays ‘Bob’ and vies to be Edmunds butler.
    Edmund accepts Bob and fires Baldrick, telling him to live in the gutter, to which in the DVD version Baldrick replies
    “But my Lord, my family have been in your service since 1562, to which Edmund replies “So has syphilis, now get your things and get out”

    AND THEY CUT THAT LINE – It’s not even remotely racist/offensive to anyone.

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