Peter Kay [3]

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PETER KAY:

A giant econoy size cinting please for morbidly obese alleged “comedian” Peter Kay, who has foresaken his “career” such as it is, as a rib tickler, for a couple of years to promote a tacky internet company on TV, down to his usual amateur standards, However, his fan must be delighted to know he has returned to the idiots lantern “triumphantly”, it says here:

Peter Kay sends ‘love to us all’ as he makes sensational TV return after two-year absence

This flabby faced one-trick pony, who clearly thinks he is something special is about as funny as Ed Miliband, a boil on the arse or Coronavirus. His fan has been wondering where he has been for the past few years (clearly he or she hasn’t got access to niche satellite channels where he does the ISP “proud”). My guess is the fat ugly bastard has been stuck on the lavatory pan, and been rocking himself to sleep trying to get up from it. Just looking funny doesn’t mean you ARE funny, or everyone would piss themselves looking at Lord Adonis.

Like most “artists” these days, he just recreates, he doesn’t move on, as dull and dead as a Hilary Benn speech, and about as funny. Fuck off.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

64 thoughts on “Peter Kay [3]”

  1. The fat Lancashire cunt is still living off his “garlic…bread” bollocks in the same way that other unfunny chubster Michael Cuntintyre recycles his “jokes” for years.

    Kay – you werent funny then and you arent funny now you fat cunt.

    • Absolutely spot on GZ
      It’s just the same old bollocks and only somebody suffering with some form of dementia would find them funny ,
      If I hear that cunt McIntyre doing the odd sock routine again gonna hunt the cunt down and kick in the nuts!!!

  2. I suppose the obligatory Christmas DVD must need promoting earlier and earlier the shutter one becomes.

    Never really found the fat pleb funny and being at a wedding or birthday and someone queuing at the buffet saying “Gurluc Bred….Cheeese Curk?” gives me indigestion….Witless CUNT!

  4. He looks unwell in recent pictures. Wouldn’t he surprised if he is having a few health issues.

    • I enjoyed Phoenix nights.
      Don’t feel strongly one way or another about Peter Kay.
      He strikes me as a bit of a mummys boy, but so what?
      Lot worse out there than him.
      Wonder why hes not funny anymore?

      • Same here, MNC. Loved Phoenix Nights and Car Share. He looks after his mum and is good to his wife. What’s wrong with that?

        Sorry, W.C, I can’t recommend this cunting to the House.

      • Not seen Car share DCI but thought Phoenix nights was genuinely brillant .
        Hope your staying safe!👍

      • Try Care Share, MNC, certain parts had me in fucking stitches! Not a fan of female comedians, but, Sian Gibson is a scream. Well worth a look. Very, very clever. ‘Dogging’ had us crying in a rare moment in the station. I’m keeping well, mate. Managed to avoid the plague and my mate has been released from ICU, so, all good here as I hope all’s well in the MNC household.

      • Always ok me mate!
        Got a indoor loo now feel like princess Margaret.

      • Agreed DCI. The scene where they leave the safari park and there’s a monkey on the back seat was fuckin’ hilarious.

      • Agree. Phoenix Nights was great. However, everything he’s ever done since, including his standup, fucking stinks.

      • Phoenix Nights is fucking hilarious.

        ‘Come and get your black bin bags’ (to the tune of Forget me not/Men in Black) and that scene in the bog with Jerry and the hand drier are two of the funniest things I’ve seen.

        Although rumours are that ‘Jerry’ was the real brains behind the show with regards to writing it.

      • Not going overboard when I say it’s probably right up there among the very best comedies (Only Fools/Fawlty Towers etc.)

  8. Saw him in concert at the O2. Fuckin’ brilliant but it’s true that he just hasn’t moved on.

  9. A bit northern for my tastes but I don’t mind him. At least he doesn’t do the Brexit/Trump jokes ad infinitum or appears on soshul meeja crying about lockdown and his mental elf. Nobody knows why he took all that time off, it’s private and that’s the way it should be.
    The Amphibious Communidee says…….not a cunt!

    • Agreed. If Peter Kay is a cunt, then I would have to be regarded as one which is obviously not the case. If you insist on calling me one, I am going to play the cuntist card and have you banned.
      😀

      • When is a hole not a hole?
        When it’s half a whole! 😀
        Evening Sixdog.

      • Sorry guys but he is just a funny looking fat fucker, about as humerus as twating your funny bone on the bannister while running to the bog for an emergency curry shit

  10. Can’t agree with this cunting WCB.

    Peter Kay isnt long of this world.

    He cancelled his £80m sell out tour back in 2018 after receiving a terminal diagnosis, from what I know it’s a form of leukaemia and I understand he first developed it in the mid late 2000’s, you may recall after he burst on the scene after a couple of years he went quiet…..apparently if it comes back there’s nothing that can be done in the long term.

    The press have been kind and backed off and he’s surrounded himself with his family for whatever time he’s got left.

      • I’m good friends with one of the ‘characters’ that was in Phoenix Nights and it would be beyond remiss of me to elaborate any further than that other than to say I didn’t hear it from him initially but after picking up on it I asked him if it were true and in confidence and genuine upset sadly he confirmed it is.

    • Entirely agree CuntyMcCuntface. I’ve been told a very similar version, by someone who knows Peter very well. How ever he comes across in public, he is as sound as they come on a personal level.

    • Assuming you’re telling the truth that is sad to hear. By all accounts he’s a good, honest bloke and there are certainly worse comedians than him out there.

  11. Phoenix nights was very funny. He doesn’t rely on unfunny alt comedy. He’s alright

  12. That fucking Car Share thing was enough to make a cat puke, about as funny as bowel cancer.

    • Going back a fair while, I kept hearing about him so I decided to watch one of his shows on tv. All I remember is he was driving an ice cream van and there was nothing funny in it. I wondered what the fuck people were laughing at. Never bothered again.

  13. I hate the way that he adds Peter Kay to all his programmes. He seems to have changed re-issued DVDs from “Pheonix Nights” to “Peter Kay’s Pheonix Nights”. He blocked out Daniel Kitson on rebroadcast episodes etc. He didn’t share writing credits with other people etc.

    Every time I see him doing a stand up act or on television he is saying, “D’ye ‘member…”. There is comedy to be found in old stuff but this man has no discernible talent. I am sure he is trying to get a job on Coronation Street as the new Alf Roberts but they are taking their time.

    The man is a useless has-been cunt.

      • Seymour, I have to confess to being one of Anton’s up tickers, a perfectly worded and precise post apart from one small detail. He omitted the word “fat” in his closing sentence.

  14. Fuck all wrong with Kay.
    He is a link with comics of the past. He is faithful to his home town and northern roots – doesn’t live in the home counties and play golf with cunts.
    He has given a leg up to many other acts and is actually funny, not political or PC.
    Phoenix Nights was ace – worth just for the psychic turn. It also took me back to Manchester clubland of the 70s and 80s.
    You don’t have to like him but just make comparison with the cavalcade of unfunny cunts that call themselves comics nowadays.
    Perhaps try to name one that is worth watching?
    Kay is OK.

  17. Fuck this fat cunt, give me Roy Chubby Brown any day. The fat cunt.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • Chubby Brown (real name Royston Vasey, as in the village in “The League Of Gentlemen”) was funny but I always considered him a little too PC B&WC! 😀

      • Never knew that, and a keen fan of the League of Gentlemen (first series anyway).

        Just checked as thought you were perhaps making it up Vernon, but its absolutely true.

  18. Untalented unfunny fat Bolton wanker 👎
    Thanks for the heads up if he’s on the way out he can go into my next dead pool list 👍👍

    • It could be worse George – every time Peter Kay is on the idiot lantern Nish Kumar is not! Every cloud..

      • You can’t mention Peter Kay and that fucking, unfunny cunt in the same breath. I like Peter Kay a lot and if what has been written above is true then I admire him even more. That is sad news.

  19. Not that anyone gives a fuck, but I can’t agree with that nom. Peter Kay, is a top block off stage, and if rumours are to be believed, is in borrowed time. Phoenix Nights was ground breaking. The legend that is Clinton Baptiste! Need I say more??

  20. I mis-read Epping Forest as cause of death.
    I believe it is quite well-k own as a place of death…

  21. Peter Kay is a fat waker who is about a funny as a vasectomy, and that’s before you factor in Paddy fucking McGuiness who should just be set alight, i cant stand this pair of cunts but i cant decide which one one is worst….

    • That’s because they are both as bad as one another A right couple of untalented wankers👎
      That Paddy McGuinness bloke remind me apart from being Peter Kay’s mate what does he actually do apart from being totally unfunny and have Mr Spocks ears? 👎👎

  23. “Does anyone remember Rola Cola? Does anyone remember crisps? Remember blinking?” etc etc.

  24. Have we the makings of a new conspiracy theory?
    Jade Goody wasn’t really a fat useless cunt but was actually Peter Kay in drag?………but how could we really tell the difference apart from the make up?………and the blonde hair….. wig I presume, big fat tits?…..strap on’s, big fat arse?…..ok, that’s my theory fucked then!

  26. Phoenix Nights was very good, but the rehashing of all his series (that Special Kay thing) and the obligatory Christmas cash-in DVD with no new material stinks a bit.

    I also did not like how Kay bowed to the dribbling social media mongs and indulged his ‘fans’. The original ending of Car Share was fine and poignant as it was. But the pathetic cheeseholes on Twatter spat their dummies out and wanted a ‘Happy’ ending. i.e: romanticised syrup drenched crap, and Peter unfortunately obliged them and a substandard soppy as shite epilogue was added on. Any artist should have full say on their work and stand or fall by their product. Letting fans actually dictate how a story and series ends is absolute madness. And especially the demented gibbering entitled cunts that infest social media.

    Sian Gibson though? She would get a going over with the tickling stick. By jove, missus!

  27. I’ve not really seen anything he’s been in. The same goes for Fatty Corden.

    Still i’d rather watch either than that weird-looking plagiarising sack of processed cheese, Amy Schumer.

  28. Kay might not be everybody’s cup of tea, but he’s still better than all those unfunny fuckflake yank cunts like Colbert, Sedaris and all those Saturday Shite Live Clintonite shithouses.

  29. Ah, Peter Kay, the ‘self-proclaimed’ comedian who ignored everyone on Phoenix Nights who co-wrote and appeared, the same fat northern cunt who has been releasing the same DVD for 8 years.
    He is a fat cunt, and about as funny as attending a Michael Barrymore pool party

  30. Ah, Peter Kay, the ‘self-proclaimed’ comedian who ignored everyone on Phoenix Nights who co-wrote and appeared, the same fat northern cunt who has been releasing the same DVD for 8 years.
    He is a fat cunt, and about as funny as attending a Michael Barrymore pool party

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