News correspondents

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News Correspondents require ostentatious cunting for their overzealous gesticulation during bulletins. In recent times, I have noticed an annoying trend, from mainly camera addicted reporters, of waving their arms about like demented chimpanzees. I suggest this is a futile bid to keep our attention from wandering whilst enduring their boring, insipid dialogue.

Ben Thompson on BBC’s breakfast is bad. Steph McGovern, with her female top half of a head and a man’s chin, used to be pretty bad, pre puer. Andrew Marr used to be quite bad pre stroke…. seems to have calmed down a bit now with one arm clamped to his side adhering finally to the BBC guide on how to behave in front of the camera. It stipulates that arms should never be “raised above the chest”. Well done Andrew!

It’s understandable that weather girls have to wave their arms about, to gesticulate the events of the impending weather front. Alas, even they are getting ‘right out of hand’ with it. I watched a gasp one morning as Laura Tobin on ITV rocked back and forth, waved her hands aloft with manic enthusiasm, enlivened no doubt at the thought of blue skies with only intermittent showers in Scotland (Cunts!). She did that folding arms toward the camera thing – as if to cradle a small child in embrace. She was a veritable hurricane of petulant chaos.

I remember Nicholas Witchell. None of that shenanigans with him. Old Nick just stood there looking bored shitless, reading his auto que to the camera with perfectly timed, monotone splendour and thinning ginger hair.

The only one who keeps her arms down consistently, for fear of getting shot I deduce, is the scrawny Irish gargoyle and war correspondent (BBC), Orla Guerin. She manages to find herself in the world’s worst shite holes, usually in active conflict. Pale as fuck and looking as weak as a new born gazelle, Orla stands there in a flak jacket and headscarf reminding us how lucky we are to live in the modern western world. Night after night without batting an eyelid, never mind thrashing her hands about, before going back to a toilet less hostel in the Middle East for a feast of chickpeas, sand and flat bread. CUNTS!

Nominated by Daz

57 thoughts on “News correspondents”

    • An excellent read Mike, the media and government are pushing this ‘new normal’ narrative once the lockdown is lifted but it is sounding increasingly dystopian.

    • Bugger it, I wish I hadn’t read that now. I bought the second trilogy a few months ago in the hope the story would be continued in the same excellent way Asimov wrote it, but you have rather diluted my enthusiasm for it.

  3. We never had those windmill-waving cunts back in the days of Paxman, Richard Baker, Reggie Bosanquet (although he was quite often pissed), Anne Ford or Robin Day. Not even the divine Kate Adie waved her arms about when she was getting shot at in some wartorn shithole back in the 1990s! (Although there was that mad but lovable nutter, Professor Magnus Pike!)

    But these days, everyone’s at it, and not just journos. People just don’t seem capable of keeping their arms/hands still when speaking to camera. As if gesticulating wildly is going to make any fucking difference to the subject matter – unless they’re talking about huge dongs/tits/cunt gloves!

    Needless to say they were probably forbidden to indulge in wanking during their teen years, and have been letting out their frustrations ever since!

    • Techno,
      Even that ‘Money Expert’ Martin Lewis is at it. No martin! I tuned in to get some tips on saving money on my shoes being re healed. I wanted to listen to you until you began thrashing about like the oxygen was going to run out!. Click. Off. CUNT!

  4. I’d love to see Piers Morgan waving his arms about….as he came up for air once.twice and a third time before finally sinking for ever beneath the crust of shit in my septic-tank.

  5. I’ve noticed that when politicians are making a point they make a weak fist and half extend their forefinger. I assume because they were taught that its rude to point. It ends up looking like a Tim Henman fist when he gets a winning point before having his arse handed to him in a quarter final. I read somewhere that Henman has the weakest fist on the planet. Good morning.

  6. Piers Morgan has made himself the biggest of loudmouth braying pub bores currently on tv. He shouts down everyone around him, guests, fellow presenters and even the programmes doctor.
    I just don’t understand why no one ever tells him to shut the fuck up and listen for a minute.
    Is the double chinned cunt that intimidating?

    • I’m actually thinking of becoming an “expert” in something…anything…just so that I can be interviewed by Morgan…while he’s in mid-rant correcting me, I’ll get up,smack the Cunt over the head with a mace,shit in his perpetually open mouth and finally ram the spiked metal ball of the mace up his ringpiece….I’ll then await my award from a grateful Nation.

      • Speaking of ramming things up ringpieces,where the Fuck is Krav?

      • He pissed off Admin big time. Twice. I don’t think he’s been banned… probably on furlough.

      • Ive noticed the animated arm throwing on these correspondents, just assumed theyd had to much posh coffee?
        If im in some flyblown shithole surrounded by ragheads or dark keys im keeping my hands firmly in my pockets 1) in case I touch someone who isnt white
        2) to protect my wallet.
        Basic training in common sense that.
        Ps
        Check out journalist Kinga Phillips!!
        Fuckin right little darling,
        Body too die for
        Makes my jacobs ache.

      • Morning MNC – Certianly quite a few bikini and beach images of Kinga on the web….phhhwwwaaooorrr

      • Morning Daz, seen them all pretty much!
        Horny isnt she?!!!
        Right ive got a job on im off, wish this weather would break, like Death Valley here!
        Wish itd rain, maybe a bit of sleet…
        Come on thunder!!😀

  7. A cracking cunting to start the weekend Daz!

    Not a news correspondent, but one of the most irritating media gesticulators is historian Simon Schama – not only do his arms wave unnecessarily about, but his entire body including his fucking ugly mug vie to get in on the act!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkb69m06TA8

    The example above is pretty restrained, after all it is a rehearsed piece, not spontaneous. But I’ve seen him on live shows like Question Time carrying on as if he were having an epileptic fit!

    • If Simon isn’t a raving Nancy i’m the fucking Prince of Wales.

    • Fuck me – RTC – I thought it was a comedy sketch to start with “here at the National Portrait Gallery”….typical arty tarty type…very tarty i suspect !

  8. They can wave their arms around all they like. That way I can be sure they’re not wanking off the libtard remoaners under the table. They can do that sort of thing in their own time, the cunts.

  9. These people give us the truth, anything else is fake news, we are so lucky to have unbiased independent media in this country.

  10. Roy Horn of Siegfried and Roy got corona’d dead at age 75 don’t think anyone had him on deadpool

  11. I fucking hate these cunts, the gatekeepers with their impossible levels of conceit and smugness, the lying sacks of shit. Each one has a diploma in supermarionation issued after an afternoon in some sweaty shitbox training course in cuntology. Body language experts? Cunts. All this waiving around is just massaging the shit sandwich down my throat, and I’ve had my fill so just fuck right off.

  12. None of the current crop could hold a candle to good old Reginald Bosanquet. Mind you, you wouldn’t want him near any ignition source, considering his alcohol content.
    In today’s news, last night I dreamt that Lisa Nandy gave me a blow job, consequently, I woke up with a raging horn, I gave the missus a nudge and waved the aforementioned engorged member in front of her bleary eyed countenance. She told me to Fuck Off.
    Another day begins …..
    And now, the weather ….
    Scorchio !
    Good morning.

  13. Sickly wimping fucking Nicholas Witchell and Fergus Walsh really piss me off, what a pair slimy little cunts.
    Witchell is the worst, royal correspondent, every time he opens his mouth I feel like throwing the TV out of the window.
    Cunts!

    • Even Prince Charles wasn’t shy in showing that he thought that Witchell is a cunt.

  14. Good nom this and a pet hate of mine. Every fucking fucker on the box is at it, flinging their fucking arms about like an amphetamine overdosed epi at a rave. It must be something they’re told to do in their media training but if you can’t get your point across without resorting to it then I couldn’t give a fuck about what you are saying.

  15. Good cunting Daz,
    I think these news reporters/correspondents are getting aaaaht if hand and seem to think they are celebrities.
    Maybe they are excited because Kung Flu has boosted their normally shite viewing figures because most are at home.
    You forgot that Soy boy, pansy Thomaz Schaferbender cunt who reports the weather…the cunt looks like he’s smoked a fat spliff of me mate Dave’s skunk, and tries to look all caring and ‘chilled’ the cunt.
    I should report the weather… rainy in Manchester so don’t go aaaaht and abaaaaaht, warm in London as always with plenty of pollution for you cunts, and Devon is nice and sunny so get the Mrs to suck you off in the garden…that’s all for today now go fuck yourselves.
    😁

    • B&WC, I noticed Shaftershiter doing those….laboured….pauses and glibly smiling….anymore Doritos…at the camera. CUNT!

  16. Fine nom with which I wholeheartedly agree. I hate news reporters, especially those twats at the BBC.
    Only exception is the lovely Sophie Raworth who I could bang to within an inch of her life.

  17. Another excellent nomination.

    Waving hands and arms about is the mark of the cunt, quite obviously. It is unnecessary and it is extremely unprofessional.

    The same applies in people’s professional lives in meetings and presentations, hand gestures, gesticulations, should be kept to absolute minimum, preferably zero. The mark of professionalism.

    Boris also gesticulates I seem to remember.

    Gesticulation is trying to keep our attention when you know you are boring, or losing people’s attention or don’t even believe the words you are saying. Quite a few video clips about Bill Gates discussing virus and vaccines. Massive gesticulation when saying that we NEED to vaccinate 7.8 billion persons.

    I don’t watch any live TV or mainstream news so don’t really see too much of it.

    Think of any great leader or orator and you won’t see them gesticulating. Don’t think great people like Oswald Mosley or Enoch Powell gesticulated much.

    Orla Guerin sounds nice. I like pale and weak looking women. Can’t put up a fight. Irish women are nice too. God bless white skin.

    Watched a great scene on the free tubes last night, a very very pale thin waify French woman in her 20s with a nice rib cage “making love” outside a beautiful large French chateau. It was truly a cracker.

  18. If they can’t control their hands, they should be told to sit on their hands whilst reading the news.

    Even then they’d probably gesticulate with their head instead. Which reminds me of Nana Visitor as Major Kira of Star Trek Deep Space Nine. She’d do that a lot on the show.

  19. Being part Italian I am naturally animated when I talk and express myself…all these imitators are cunts…it’s cultural appropriation.

  21. Don’t get me started on gesticulating weathermen. Owain Wyn Evans the north west’s forecaster who’s still flouncing through my living room each evening.
    However, Owain has gained my new found respec’ finally finding something to do with his hands. He’s quite a decent drummer! Watch the second half of this clip for his latest gig.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFML7s3dXVI

  22. I seem to remember Martin Bell waving his arms around and doing a funny dance in some nasty toilet of a province. In his defence he had taken a slither of ricochet rifle round in the bollocks. Made a real mess of this Top-Man white suit. Other than that impeccably calm and statuesque.

  23. I recall that the TV news used to be a sensible, staid affair, with professional presenters sitting behind desks telling us what had been happening. 20-25 minutes, which to be fair was pushing it a bit.
    Then they decided that the presenter should wander about the studio like they were in an art gallery, and that they were somehow personalities rather than well-spoken Speak and Spells.
    I forget where I’m going with this, I stopped watching TV news years ago, BBC London regional news in particular with their diverse (ie no whiteys) line ups.

    • Yep. No longer news and facts. Just pushing an agenda. Cunts have been doing it years now. Goebbels would appreciate the propaganda machine the BBC has become.

      • State funded. They want a socialist government and the security that it will bring them. CUNTS!

      • Agreed Daz. And they want to add it to council tax now. Cunts just Cunts.

  24. Great nom
    They’re all up their arses cunts
    Except Samantha Washington – she’s very fuckable
    Morning all

    Big Al

  25. Kate McCann gives me the ‘orn. (Not the Tapas muncher but the Sky political reporter).

    I am not ashamed to admit that I have genocided billions of knuckle children on my stomach over this little minx.

    If she’s into fat, balding middle aged cunts who fart a lot, then I’d be up for a fumble. As long as she got in the kitchen afterwards to make me something to eat, of course.

    Or the bitch can forget it.

    • Watch it Cunty, RTC likes her and has made his dastardly intentions well known.

  26. I don’t really care about journalists and media people going all jazz hands, but what does disturb me is the news blackout on anything not related to covid 19. No news on Syria, very little on Iran or North Korea. Quite worrying in my view. I don’t need to read about Covid19, tell me what else is going on !

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