Holiday Cottage Cunts

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holiday Cottage Cunts

I’ve just read this fucking story…..https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8260397/Holiday-home-owners-claimed-50m-taxpayers-cash-intended-help-small-firms-Cornwall.html

So holiday cottage owners who often register their cottages as businesses (but never actually let them out) to avoid paying Council Tax are now claiming 10 grand a piece from the fund meant to help small businesses….utter Cunts.

These Cunts already ruin areas by pricing locals out resulting in schools,pubs etc. being closed due to falling numbers,contribute nothing to the local economy due to the fact that they are only in residence for a couple of weeks of the year, tend to be Townie arseholes who think that owning some former farm labourer’s cottage gives them the right to tramp across any adjoining land they see fit ( the Cunts sharp learn the error of their ways with me)…..the greedy Cunts are now claiming tax-payers money too.

It’s an utter disgrace.

Hope the Cunts put some of their ill-gotten gains to one side to pay for the repairs that their cottage may need after they next visit to discover that their front door has been mysteriously kicked off it’s hinges and several ewes have decided to use it as a lambing shed for a few weeks.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler

46 thoughts on “Holiday Cottage Cunts”

  1. Well spotted Dick
    Send the fucking Black and Tans in to sort these greedy cunts out.
    Financial traitors.
    Good morning to all.

  2. Well you don’t get to be rich enough to own a second home by being as honest as the day is long. Rich cunts, by definition, know every scam in the book.
    Our esteemed MPs are the masters at the second home trick. For example Dawn Butler, the well known socialist and civil rights campaigner, who’s second home, paid for by us, is exactly the same distance from Parliament as her first home. Also nicely equipped with a whirlpool, an essential for our hardworking representatives to relax after a stressful day stealing our money and giving it away to any foreign scrounger who holds their hand out.
    Luvvly Jubbly.

  3. Totally agree with you here, Dick. In my part of the Highlands, second homers are supposed to pay 200% council tax, so most of them probably join in this wheeze. This grant has been a vital help for many rural businesses, but sad to see rich cunts cashing in.

    • Yes. either Admin posted my nom. immediately after Dio’s mention of not being able to get to his holiday cottage or go on his 2 luxury holidays by accident…by design..or just my impeccable sense of timing has struck again…hmmm. Being fair, I once submitted a Nom. on “cruise-ship bores” not long after he had mentioned his latest cruise…he as Admin. not only posted it,but also replied to my thoughts in his customary lighthearted manner…even going to the trouble of providing a link to his own blog which contained his thoughts on various “cruise-ship” types.

      @ Hopefully everyone will soon be free to resume their holiday activities…unless they’re holiday-homers,ramblers.caravaners, (most)push-bikers or Cunts who want to bring their squalling brats into the Pub.

      • I laughed at these. Please excuse any copyright infringement Dio but could you excuse me for just extracting one of these? It reminded me of someone but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. 😅

        NUMBER 34 : The Removal Man
        Personally, I found the arrangement of the furniture on the restaurant deck entirely to my satisfaction. But not so the Removal Man who seems duty-bound to rearrange the chairs and tables entirely to his own satisfaction.
        I had no problem with this until he decided to help himself to the chairs on my table.
        “Are these chairs being used?” he asks whilst making a grab for the nearest.
        “Yes” I reply, being awkward bugger. “Well I don’t see anyone using them at the moment he says”
        “They’ll be along in a moment” I reply wresting the chair from his grasp.
        Anyway, he successfully manages to get a couple from elsewhere,  repositions the table and adds two extra seats, totally blocking any chance of anybody walking between us. It is pointed out to him by the Maitre d’ that the waiters cannot get past, but this clearly does not matter to him.
        “They can walk around the other way,” he points out helpfully.
        So continuing to be awkward bugger, I make damn sure he can’t walk behind my chair to get to the buffet. “Excuse me” says he, “but I can’t seem to get past.”
        “Well” I point out, “perhaps you should have left the table and chairs where they were?”
        “Do have a problem with my chairs?” he asks whilst eyeing my still two empty seats.

        “No” I reply. “Just the arses sat in them…”

      • Haha I,m a removal man, and this bloke is giving us a bad name cos i would move absolutely fuck all without being paid for it.
        Especially if i was sat on my arse on a cruise!!

      • Hopefully so Dick.

        People will be able to resume gorging on crap beer, fatty food and acid reflux tablets in Costa Del Shithole. I however, refuse to leave England.

        Scotland is too far.
        Wales, although on the border with us, I cannot abide their ‘goateeee’ beards, phlegm riddled language, poor dress or binge drinking culture….The men are just as bad!

    • Certainly am.
      My beef with holiday cottages is that we’re banned from using them for an overnight stay. So I can drive to my cottage and use it every day provided that I come home every night to sleep. There is no logic in that.

      If I was there now I’d be behaving exactly as I do at home at the moment. It’s all a matter of common sense.

      Expecting the taxpayer to stump up for maintaining the place is bollocks. It’s my property and my responsibility.

      And I wouldn’t dream of dodging council tax as suggested. In my view holiday home owners should pay full council tax. If you can’t afford the place then don’t buy it in the first place…

      • Being fair, there are an older couple who own one nearby. They decamped to it with their daughter and son-in-law as soon as all the shit started in London…don’t blame them They are actually rather a nice couple who spend a fair amount of time up here anyhow and at least spend a bit of cash in the shops and Pubs.

      • Fiddler@
        Dioclese@
        Ive booked a holiday cottage for July.
        Paid a deposit, to cancel I have to pay £100 or pay the total (£400) to either get the holiday if restrictions are lifted or to have it on a date I never wanted!
        No ‘ok we ll keep you posted consider your deposit the cancellation fee the cunts’.
        I worked hard for that money conning gullible hardworking pensioners out of it.

      • Daz weve both dropped hints we are in the market for accepting free holidays!
        Dio has that cornish cottage, Fiddler a workers cottage on his land, are they being deliberately obtuse?
        Mean spirited?
        Fuckin Dim?
        Dont know how to hint any harder ‘i want to come and stay rent free for 2 weeks’!

      • Dreadful behaviour MNC – pensioners need their money for mints, sherry and cat food!
        Seriously for a moment though, I hope it works out for you with the holiday cottage 👍
        My good lady is kind and generous, she has offered to buy me my own holiday home, the only stipulation is that I have to get there myself – does anyone know where “Idlib” is? (With a name like that I think it might be in Wales)..

      • Not all the money was from ripping off the elderley Foxy!
        Some was out of those collection box statues “help the blind’ ‘spastic society’ etc
        A right cunt to crack open.

      • I was listening to a phone in yesterday where some cuntish woman who was on furlough and even admitted she was comfortably off, expected the State to pay her golf club fee.
        I felt like ramming a niblick up her arse.

  5. These are the same cunts who think that the locals are actually paid actors, there only to make the rural experience more authentic.

    • I like to reinforce their belief by behaving like a pissed-up Oliver Reed when they come into the Pub. for a “scrummy” Ploughman’s Lunch.

      • I can just picture that, Dick. 😁

        I’m also guessing that the cunts pay around £9 for locally sourced, artisan cheddar (Cathedral city), a lump of ‘rustic’ artisan bread (Asda home bake granary baguette – torn, not cut), a dollop of Branston with added Worcestershire source and a Haywards pickled onion.

        All consumed while one of the locals staggers across the pub and urinates in the fire place.

        Instagram gold for townies.

      • “All consumed while one of the locals staggers across the pub and urinates in the fire place”……you’ve obviously heard about my average night “on the bevvy”

        🙂 .

      • Oli Reed used to be a porter at St Helier Hospital in Carshalton when my mother in law worked there. He also used to drink in The Swan public house in Wimbledon, my local at the time..

        My now deceased mate Paul has a problem with his brakes on his Ford 100E and didn’t pull up quite short enough to avoid running into the front of Oli’s Rolls.

        Somewhat bricking himself, Paul wanders up to Oli who is perched on his usual stool at the bar. “Terribly sorry, Mr Reed” says he “but I’m afraid I’ve run into the front of your Rolls Royce”

        Oli turns to Paul and says “Must have shaken you up dear boy. Let me get you a drink” and the two of them spent the rest of the evening getting pissed as newts.

        Class act our Oli…

  6. Remember the good old days in the principality “come home to a real fire” could this happen again in our struggling villages? Second homes/holiday homes are a curse for many areas. What is the answer? as in many cases old Tom’s family are very happy to sell his little cottage for well over it’s real local price. ‘‘Tis a right murky old business.

  7. ‘My pensive Sara! thy soft cheek reclined
    Thus on mine arm, most soothing sweet it is
    To sit beside our Cot, our Cot o’ergrown…’

    Samuel Taylor Coleridge – ‘An Eolian Harp’.

    I thought he was initially talking about ‘our Cot’ for a baby. But in context with ‘our Cot o’ergrown’ he must mean cottage.

    Yes, that must be it.

    These things keep me up at night.

    • More likely a thinly veiled reference to his degenerate cottaging activities. 😃

      You know what these poets are like.

      • Morning RT.

        There has been some speculation about the ‘relationship’ Wordsworth had with his sister Dorothy living together as they did in a cottage in the Lake District for many years…

    • only took him 30 years to write …..A bit like me in our garden with that patio i promised her! With that comment and a superb air of insouciance, I must make haste and exercise both my hound and my right to walk in ponder.

  8. We have a small hamlet on the coast up here which I believe is somthing like 65% second homes now.
    Killed the local pub and shop.
    Cunts used the lovely old pub like those once a year fucking christmas drinkers. Spend fuck all but think they own the place, due to their valuble patronage. They bring all the provisions with them, so little shop/post office also down the shit pipe.
    Young generation forced out as they can’t compete with the prices these cunts will pay for a property.
    Once went for a look round in winter. The place was like a film set for some bloody horror, no one anywhere. A fucking thieves paradise.
    To top it all the Housing Association built 4 new houses a mile or two from the place. For the young generation of locals I here you cry! Well done local government!! Fuck off, two of them have syr1an Giro addicts in them now.
    Hope the cunts let their camels shit on the townies doorstep.

    • You must act as the Welsh to the North. Aspire to rid the hamlet of these interlopers through incendiary rage. They will soon sell up and fuck off….CUNTS!

      • Sad really. But you could shit through all of their letter boxes in winter. Be sat nicely “matured” by spring when all the range rover cunts turn up.

      • “You must act as the Welsh to the North”

        Yawn… Fuck me, Daz – haven’t you left the 1980s yet ? 40 years since the last holiday cottage was warmed up in the owner’s absence… You’ll be accusing us of still shagging sheep next – Maybe try and borrow Bertie’s updated joke book ?!!

  9. I am sure that some of these people do run their cottages as a money earning business, as I understand the rules they only get the cash if it is there main or only source of income, but as I don’t own a second anything I didn’t pay too much attention
    They may be cunts for playing the system but not as big as the cunts who get a council flat, sublet it and actually live in another borough…… usually blick!!

    CUNTS!

    • Lets not forget these cunts were back in the sub let flat if a blaze was to break out. Amazing how they can morph from one abode to another if there’s a delicate whiff of compo and a little gentle hand wringing.

  10. The Welsh had the right idea in the 1970s & 80s.
    I can’t remember what they were called, but they went round North Wales burning down second homes.
    I was still at school, but remember laughing like fuck at Not the nine o clock news.
    “Come home to a real fire, buy a Welsh cottage ”
    A play on the British coal advert.

      • Tafs are South Wales, MNC – North Wales are Gogs (from the Welsh – Gogledd Cymru)

        Meibion Glyndwr oedd yr enw, os ywyt ti eisiau dysgu rhywbeth heddiw ? Noson Da i ti, fy ffrind !!

      • meddai’n dda Seymour!
        Even though I haven’t got a fuckin’ clue what your saying, I defend your right to say it! 😅

      • “Meibion Glyndwr was the name, if you want to learn something today ? Good evening to you, my friend !!”

        And good evening to you too, Bertie

      • Evening Seymour, I was right in the name of the blokes who burnt caravans/holiday homes wasnt I?
        Didnt know the ‘gog’ thing, here welsh blokes are Taff no matter where in wales theyre from, and it tends to be said good naturedly.
        Assume Taff from the river Taff.
        Wasnt a snidey dig, by the way.👍

      • Evening MNC – None whatsoever taken – That’s why I said “Good Evening to you, my friend” to you ! And yes you’re right, Taf comes from the river running through Cardiff. Big rivalry between North and South Wales years ago…

        Fuck, I’m not even fucking Welsh FFS !

      • My lad could speak Welsh, lost most of it now , but lived with my ex for a few years in Tyn y gogl , Anglesey.
        Part of the National Curriculum was welsh Language.

    • Where i grew up daubed on walls was ” Come Home to a Real Fire, Join the RUC” always gave me a tickle.

  11. I used to live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, everyone knew everyone – a nice community.
    As the locals died off they were replaced by IT consultants, Barristers, footballers and even an MP (a drunk with “wandering hands” syndrome – I am allowed to say that as it is a matter of record), massive fences and security gates on every property, CCTV, security lights everywhere – and you never, ever saw these people, they did not buy locally and appeared to think they also owned the road.
    Completely ruined the place.

  12. I remember what they used to say in North Wales when the English hating racist bastards were setting fire to holiday cottages…

    “Red sky at night, cottage alight”

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