Faking it

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I nominate the uk tv show Faking It; tears of a crime
why is it every fucking episode there is full of smug so called intellectuals that take the credit for solving the crimes?
Every episode there seems to be a smug almost angelic person who seems to knew there were right all along.
Be it a shrug of the shoulder, a natural change in face or even so much as breathing a certain way.
These cunts seem to have the answer to everything crime ridden going.
So basically you might as well take some spice when committing a murder or crime, because you wouldn’t have a choice to look like a statue.
Fuck you.

Nominated by Barney

22 thoughts on “Faking it”

  1. I sometimes watch this Barney, was a episode on a bus driver called Darren Vickers who murdered a little boy in woods near my mum n dads, I unknowingly walked into the woods when forensics were just roping it off for searching for the kids body.
    Told me to get the fuck away, fair play.

  2. Not heard of it till this cunting. Discovery Channel, don’t get it on our TV.

    Sounds like all those mindless waste of time serial killer docümentaries on Channel 5, always stating the bleedin’ obvious and never giving any new or intelligent insight into anything.

    Arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks.

  3. I have seen it. They wheel on experts in hindsight to talk bollocks, taking conclusions from the slightest mannerism. Then there is the forensic psychologist who also is an expert after the event, although she does give me the horn.
    I could do that.

  4. The song Faking It is good though.
    From the superb Bookends album. Their best and much better than the overrated Bridge Over Troubled Water album.

  5. I’ve never seen the programme but if it anything like that fat wanker Roger Cook I’d imagine that it is pretty shit. I always used to hope that some Cunt would knock him out….same with that slaphead runt Dominic Littlewood and that strip of piss Matthew Allright.

    • I’ve just looked to see if Roger Cook is still alive….he is,but looks like a good pick for Deadpool if anyone hasn’t got their noms. in yet.

      • It has criminals behavioural specialist on and body language specialists Dick, shows you police interviews with the nutter whos done the murder.
        Did Roal Moat,last one I saw was the Beast of Manchester Trevor Hardy whos from round Norman’s way, killed women, attacked his mate with a pick axe, loony.
        They caught him in Stockport where I am hiding in a loft, he meekly said “you wont hurt me will you?” When coppers got him.

      • Sorry im not hiding in a loft, mad Trevor was.
        Meant I live in Stockport.

      • it is ok if you are hiding in a loft, you are amongst friends here.
        I still haven’t got out from behind the sofa (my refuge from when this all started)

      • If you’re not hiding in a loft,are you hiding in the bushes in the Park?

        We could make a game of this like “Where’s Waldo?”….people could write in with suggestions about where you’re currently lurking and whether you have your trousers around your ankles.

      • Like spot the ball?
        But with a big bearded cunt exposing himself?
        😁

    • That faux cheeky chappy ‘geezer’ Nick Knowels and Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen, something about daytime TV cunts. Are you well Fiddler, how is life at the Towers?

      • Afternoon, LL….I am well. Tbh I’m quite enjoying this lockdown…hasn’t really affected me apart from there being less twats on the roads and no fucking trespassers at all…do miss the Pub. though.

        You keeping OK?

  6. My TV show “Don’t get done, punch Dom” was rather rudely rejected by the BBC! (Not enough BAME representation apparently).
    Disappointing – I think it would have been a ratings hit!
    Dom the gob is a big Man with 4 security guys around him just out of camera shot, not sure why but I consider him to be an odious little turd – the kind of in your face full of himself aggressive little prick I detest (reminds me too much of myself!) 😀
    No need for these alleged experts – the Scooby Doo gang would have sorted it much better and quicker, and I have always been a big admirer of Freddies cravat and snappy dress sense – like a trainee Jason King!
    On other news I bought a shirt.

    • Is Dom the little cockney ex criminal bloke Foxy?
      Exposes Rogue builders etc?

      • You got him MNC, probably done a bit of bird for touching the dogs arse (TDA.. taking and driving away) would’nt of said he was in for anything major though! probably aint been in at all could be all PR bollocks the cunt.

      • Nobby he reminds me of that little bloke off Fantasy Island, Tattoo?
        “The plane, the plane boss!”.
        Bet he was in the scrubs for stealing knickers off washing lines.

      • I shopped someone to him once, tried to do an old man for 30K.
        Cunt went round there and fixed a paving slab for £5 and then ripped the old blokes roof off, did a shit job putting it back together.
        I had a few issues with the cunt as a client so checked his history, he had deliberately ordered the wrong kit knowing that we would provide the right kit FOC so a four year trading history showed £15 spent with us, but all his site addresses so I had a quick ring round, find out what the fuck was going on and well a trail of shit over priced jobs.
        The bloke did not want to pay his hire bill, so I broke all the data protection shit and dobbed him in to rouge traders with all the ammo they needed (He has been on there twice, nice chap from ascot).
        Now am I a cunt or an angel?

        this was the cunt.

        https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2009087/dodgy-roofer-who-featured-on-tvs-rogue-traders-is-jailed-after-conning-oaps-out-of-180k/

        I should have put that up as a nomination, Detective benny and the dodgy roofer

        (Morale, pay your bills or you piss me off)

      • Is a cuntangel higher or lower than an archangel?
        You did the right think in my book Lord B, apart from perhaps a little side order of kneecapping and a stripe or two.

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