The Markles

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Blow me down and who’d have thunk it? A piece of Earth-shattering news has broken; Me-gain Markle and her puppet, Prince Harry de Halfwit have left Canada ‘for good’ to settle in, er, Los Angeles.

Coronavirus restrictions notwithstanding, they fled Canada before the border closed. Another private jet, one wonders? So much for the assertion from Little Miss Sparkle that she wouldn’t live in the States while The Don was president. Apparently, the happy family is now in lockdown in a secure community to sit out the current emergency. Mmm, I wonder who’s picking up the security tab now?

I honestly don’t think that many of us saw that one coming, but ‘her people’ are saying that it’s a good idea because she can be close to her mother, and her ‘support network’. Oh, and of course, there’s her budding film and fashion career to think of. I’m sure that she’ll now be very happy mixing it on the awards night and chat show circuit with the Kardashians, the Osbournes and all the other slebs that hang out in Tinseltown. They’re clearly her kind of people. Likewise, the Dumb Prince of Bel-Air will surely relish life as a bit of royal arm candy for his lady love to swank about with. Well, at least until she decides that he’s outlived his usefulness and it’s time for the divorce.

Enjoy life in the ‘woke’ capital of the world, you tedious, irrelevant Muppets. You’ll blend in perfectly with all the other hypocritical, virtue-signalling cunts. Just don’t ever darken our national doorstep again.

Nominated by Ron Knee

167 thoughts on “The Markles”

  1. A rich area of L.A bit well within travelling distance for the bloods and crips and the millions of other lowlifes flourishing in L.A and surrounding areas.

    Exactly the place to be with America set to shoot off all its ammo at once.

    Fucking begging for it!

    • It was great to see The Don get his own back by telling them that they could fuck off as far as the US picking up the security tab is concerned

      • Good “Don” you Trump – get these f*cking parasites to pick up their own bills.
        Go to Hollywoke, set up the obvious next step – a “charity foundation” and pay yourselves a huge wage whilst travelling round the World on private jets whining about what a hard time you are having.
        But please stay in America little James and “No-Mark-le” – you have embarrassed the Royal Family, abandoned your jobs, duties and people and you will not be forgiven, ever.
        Good nom RK – I detest these chiselling rodents.

    • Better make sure she wearing the right colours if she strays the wrong side of Sth Central!

  2. Hairy has done what men have been doing since sabre-toothed tigers were around, making a cunt of himself on account of a piece of skirt. Good riddance to the pair of them.

    • Come on Moggie, she’s just trying to make the world a better place by being served on hand and foot and living in obscene wealth and luxury.

      • Reports are suggesting that things could start to get a bit complicated for the Halfwhitt lad in the US as far as ‘work’ (!!) is concerned.
        He’ll need a green card, so someone will need to sponsor him. Or he could live off Me-again. Or apply for US citizenship I suppose.

      • Hewitt doesn’t need a green card to do the round of celebricunt chat shows and pocket $$$ millions. The fuckwits are worshipped in the States – they’re going to be rich beyond Robbie Williams’ wildest dreams!

      • Their marriage will be over within five years. He’s deserted his family and country and make a fool of himself.
        Thank fuck he and his attention seeking ghastly wife are not here.
        They’re perfectly matched….two selfish cunts.

      • By the time this yo-yo knickered hound has finished with him, he’ll be ready for an asylum! She already is!

  3. I was surprised to hear they’re still married. Obviously Hewîtt hasn’t received the call from Prince Phillip yet, “Is that Ginger bollocks? I say, take a separate car tonight, old thing.”

    • It takes a while to move the white Fiat from Paris to LA, ghastly amount of paperwork.

      • I had best get the bugger out of me lock up then GG – get the ball rolling as it were!

  4. Let’s just hope Harry gets himself a good wig-maker. If he suffers the same as his brother he will be bald as a coot within a year – and I doubt she will want him on her arm like that.

    • Unless he goes for the Bobby Charlton comb over. “It may make one look like a bit of a cunt”. In the grand scheme of things not being able to go to the barbers is not important, but fuck me I’m starting to look like fucking Don King. Plus I feel like Rudolf Hess is Spandau Prison with this fucking lockdown.

    • Yes the stresses and strains that the poor sod’s been under these last twelve months or so are really causing his thatch to thin out.
      Still, he’s in the right place to get a top quality syrup or even a hair transplant. Perhaps his mother’s ‘dear, dear friend’ Dame Elton Bogg will pay for the surgery for him.

    • Harry is starting to morph in George Roper from George &Mildred.
      Hen pecked, balding, bag of nerves.
      He’ll end up on welfare living in a trailer within 18months.
      Whats wrong with him?
      Cant just be his dead mum thats sent him mental?
      More to it.
      Bet Uncle Andrew Babysitting is at the bottom of it?!

      • I’m your wicked Uncle Andy
        I’m glad you won’t see or hear me
        As I fiddle about
        Fiddle about
        Fiddle about

      • He was a stroppy, entitled little thick cunt when he was at school. Bet he’s envious as fuck of the kids that won’t have to sit their A’s this year. Several back handers, which incidentally Is what he could possibly have benefited from when he was younger, and he’d have A* in all his subjects, instead of F*

    • Unbelievable, somehow we’ve missed Bill Withers, Genesis P-Orridge AND Hosni Mubarak over the last few months.

    • Also beat his first wife black n blue, although that snippet has been erased from the history books. That makes him a cunt.

  7. Perhaps while the bread knife is doing silly cartoon voices… I mean, working, he can score a job at a Fast Food joint. It could be like Eddie Murphy in Coming To America.

    Harry: I am a man who has never tied his own shoes before.

    • “Excuse me, boss, er yes, um, Meghan wont let me touch the bacon or the cheese or any non vegan friendly condiments. Oh and the plastic cutlery, I’m not allowed near sharps”.

      • Coming To America, ha ha.
        “The royal penis is clean, your highness.”

      • ‘Thank you. One more thing, what’s a Penis?’

        ‘Go take a look in the mirror, you fucking ginger cunt!’

  8. This fucked , childish, millenial cunt will be running back to Blighty with his cucked gender neutral cock strapped to his inside leg within 18 months.

    • Good afternoon SC

      I think you are being a bit unkind, he is just cuntstruck. It can happen to the best of us, although most of us get over it after about 6 months and don’t marry them.

      • He certainly displays all the signs of being totally cuntstruck.
        We can but hope the young royal manages to extract his head from her crotch in the near future.. The impending realisation can cause serious mental health Issues to one who is sensitive like Harry. Bollocks, my arse you fucking dildo.

  9. As I’ve said many times, working for HM for so many years has given me some very well placed contacts who are happy to share a few anecdotes over a glass or two, in the mess. Seems our ‘arry ’ marked himself out as an ignorant, entitled cunt ginger cunt, long before this latest debacle! So, I guess we can’t place all the blame on that slimy, grasping, lying, deceitful quadroon. Apparently, they had a sweepstake on the fact he would marry the first piece of skirt he managed to get into
    bed! I myself have chucked a couple of Singapore dollars into the pot that says they won’t last 5 mins in Tinseltown! First off, they don’t have the crazy wealth that it takes to buy in, and secondly, you don’t just rock up and expect to be accepted into such an elite neighborhood! As soon as they lost the HRH, they lost their appeal. Rumours abound, that already the knives are being sharpened to put the trailer trash little upstart right back Into the ghetto from whence she crawled! Que sera sera, as they say in France!

  10. BREAKING NEWS: Allegedly, Ginge and Cringe made an offer to buy a beachfront property in Malibu, and when the vendor got wind of just who the buyer was, immediately refused and took the property off the market!

    • Correct SB – I took it off the market as Sir Fiddler summers there when doing the grand tour, and I would never dare incur the wrath of Sir Fiddler!
      (He does tend to complain about the funny food and lack of tailors who can put together a decent set of tweeds – and there were “some issues” with the hounds chasing dark keys orf!) 😀👍

  11. How long until something happens to one of them and Elton John makes money releasing the Candle In The Wind song again, but with slightly altered lyrics?
    #It seems to me like you lived your life like a candle in the wind, I pay to offset your carbon footprint so you can fly again#
    Something like that but Elton is getting worse at songwriting these days.
    Absolute cans of can’t.

  12. Slightly off topic but I am getting heartily sick of Thomaz Shaggaknacker with his smiling face telling me ‘its beautiful outside with a gentle westerly breeze’ when he knows WE CANNOT GO OUT to enjoy it. Cunt.

    Then it cut to a story about the police in Wales closing parks and the fucking reporter was in a park! YOU’RE BREAKING THE RULES! Cunt.

    And when the reporters or commentators are talking from their homes they’re always in front of huge great shelves of books. ‘I read’, ‘I’m well read’ they are saying to us..Cunts.

    • Robert Peston is one of the worst, you just know the twat has a Che Guevara poster on the back of his bedroom door.

    • I detest that rank, smug, arrogant little prick Miles – it would be worth fracturing another knuckle to land hard on that f*cker!
      Need confused Carol to do the weather with her enormous floppy jugs out!

      • “I detest that rank, smug, arrogant little prick Miles.”
        I think you’re out of order there Vernon!
        However, you phrased it so well, I think you might just have got away with it!
        😂

      • Aren’t we allowed to call fellow cunters smug, arrogant little pricks Bertie? Thought the only rule was we can’t call them a cunt.

        Are you listening to Nigel? He’s back from self-isolating. Standing in tonight for Andrew Pierce… who’s self-isolating. 😂

      • Aw! Missed him! I’ll bear that in mind though.
        Evening Ruff one. Don’t like that Ian Dale, though – a right Willie Woofter.

      • Naaaaw! I meant the weatherman not Miles! off for a bike ride now before MP sends Sir Fiddler and MNC round for “a little chat”! 😄

      • Nothing Freudian there Bertie! Just for the purposes of journalistic integrity (hic!) – and to avoid a possible kicking I have to state my rant was aimed at Tomasz Schafernaker as opposed to my esteemed colleague MP! 👍😀

      • Mischief again from Bertie Vernon. He needs to be put on Isac’s equivalent of the naughty step. If he persists in his recalcitrant behaviour Nurse Cunty will be along to give him a good hard spanking on his bare bottom. That’s the only answer for his wilful ways.

    • And that phrase-‘working from home’. Some interview with a woman ‘working from home’. Didn’t find out her job but can there be that much work in the present crisis? Aren’t most companies/ organisations closed? I know there must be some key working…
      I suspect her ‘work’ entrails a few emails in the morning to female work colleagues ‘hi hun’, and a few in the afternoon-‘DH has been just too much today’.

      • A lot of white collar cunts can easily work from home. All they do when they get to the office anyway is sit in front of the computer. Or waste time in meetings they can just as easily do via Zoom Conferencing or whatever it’s called.

        When all this is over I predict offices will be dramatically scaled down. Turned into care homes.

      • When I left the office, I made a list of every contract I had running of which 3 (only 3) could remain live and generate income, the rest I asked to be suspended.
        We have of course an area bell end who is prepared to risk all and go to work (although there is nothing to do except sit at a desk with a phone that is turned off
        He has cheerfully e-mailed me that he has reset all to live so when I get out the bunker I will be doing 3 to 4 months of credits to people who no longer like us and more than likely will no longer want to trade with us.
        So all I am doing is looking at e-mails from someone telling me they have fucked it all up, and I can not access the system from her as it aint connected to the WWW for security reasons.

    • Miles, I imagine the bookshelf is fake, like a secret entrance behind it in Batman’s house. 🙂

      • Yes Spoons I wonder if you were interviewed what would you strategically place in the background to reveal your fascinating personality? Maybe Batman one side, Spiderman the other? I suppose Mr F would be interviewed in front a huge fireplace, a stag’s head on the wall above? Miserable of course all nice and cosy in his armchair with the Akita at his feet. I would have a picture of the Pope of course maybe a copy of Brideshead Revisited on the desk next to me.

      • If it was me, I think I’d be like ‘Arry in Lock Stock, and have a collection of dildo’s on my desk!

      • I’d have a copy of Weasels Ripped My Flesh prominently displayed over my left shoulder, and Bitches Brew over the right. And a decapitated doll’s head somewhere in frame.

      • I’d probably have let myself “go” a bit…not the brassy Orient-Express persona that I normally am, but more like Mrs. Doyle.
        “Another spam and banana sandwich, m’Lord ? Aw, go on…”

      • Better to sit on the bog, while someone else scratches your balls! Big yourself up a bit!

      • Evening Miles, everyone.
        Is Brideshead revisited your favourite book?
        You’ve mentioned it a few times.
        Whats other cunters favourite books I wonder?
        Mine as a boy was Alan Garners “weirdstone of Brisingamen’ but probably nowadays itd be -kes’ or a Joe Lansdale book.

      • Nice one – I used to love that Alan Garner book.. Now you’ve reminded me of it I’ll have to re-read it. – Great creepy looking cover on the paperback version – strange figure sitting down within a blue background

      • Weird stone of Brisingamen! I haven’t heard those words since I was 15! Had to wait a month for some slow cunt to return it to the library! Will have to dig that out, again!

      • Yeah all set in the very real caves at Alderley edge in cheshire.
        Used to camp out in the caves get pissed as a youth.
        Now Alderley edge is full of footballers and housewives of cheshire tv types.
        Great book .

      • Probably my favourite Miserable. Tbh since I gave up reading extensively (excuse the snobby phrase) I only ever re-read 4 books. BR Evelyn Waugh. ‘Alfie’ by Bill Naughton (not the stage play the novel he produced after the success of the film). James Joyce’s ‘Dubliner’s’. The Complete Short Stories of Saki. This last IS hysterically funny. By far the funniest writer in the canon in my humble.

      • Miles, there are so many favourite books of mine so far (it does change over time now and again). If I had to whittle it down to 5. In no particular order:
        1. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
        2. Lord Of The Flies by William Golding
        3. The Best A Man Can Get by John O’Farrell
        4. Q In Law by Peter David
        5. The Glass Knife by John Tully.

      • Spoons@
        Read the first two, both excellent books.
        Talking to Rtc only other day about Steinbeck.

      • I also have far too many favourites to name one alone.

        However, a couple of books immediately sprang to mind when I saw Miserable’s post:

        1. Twenty Thousand Streets Under The Sky by Patrick Hamilton.
        2. The Stranger by Albert Camus.

        The first book I ever read was The Boy Next Door by Enid Blyton.

        The first ‘adult’ book I really enjoyed was Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, followed by The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, and Tropic Of Capricorn by Henry Miller.

        Currently reading Porterhouse Blue by Tom Sharpe.

        Only naughty book I’ve read is Fanny Hill by John Cleland. Was about 13 at the time, can’t remember a word of it. Oh, and dipped into the Kama Sutra occasionally. Dad had it hidden in the back of his desk drawer.

    • There’s no one preventing me (and plenty of other cunts) walking in the park every day. Or going into town to do some shopping for that matter. Maybe it’s cos we reside in an exclusive area.

      Anyway, why would anyone watch a TV weather forecast? The forecasters are always wrong, even when they tell you what the weather was supposed to have been like earlier. That said, the bint with only half an arm doesn’t half give me the fucking horn.

      Btw, I hear what you say Miles about self isolating journalists appearing with shelves of books in the background, but what do you expect them to have in their home offices where their computers are? Bric-a-brac from Felixstowe?

      • I wish they would interview Lord Adonis in front of his bookshelf Imagine what you might see;

      • A Dance to the Music of Time – Anthony Powell
        The Fortunes of War – Olivia Moaning
        The Demons (NOT the Dostoievsky one, but Heimito von Doderer)
        Anything by Beatrix Potter. Best with tea and a good shot of brandy.

      • Patrick Hamilton great stuff. Hans Fallada,Alone in Berlin for times like these. Am digging out The Dice Man by Luke Rheinhart the now as i am assessing me options. Now he was a cunt!!

  13. My heart (if I had one) bleeds for poor little Hewitt – how can a chap get by with only 41 Million in the bank, a lifelong income from the Man he calls Daddy and no bills to pay?

    • Thanks CRW. We aim to please, although this pair of tosspots can never be cunted enough.

  15. Word is that the divorce is just around the corner. Giving it a year to six months would appear to be generous.

    The boy Hewitt never thought he would end up a cuckolded lapdog for a voraciously ambitious tinseltown yankee tart.

      • No sympathy whatsoever when the inevitable divorce arrives. If you go round the world wagging your finger then show the levels of disrespect this slapper has, you deserve everything coming.

        Hoo-ee, what a cunt.

  16. Me again has totally and utterly fucked up Harry even to the point of permanetly changing the expression on his face to one of defiant misery.
    This after making him give up fags, booze, mates, brother, fun.
    She has convinced him woke is so much better than bloke.
    Massive realisation of the mother of all blunders coming his way i’m afraid.

  17. I can’t stand her , she’s false,devious ,sneaky and just an out and out a horrible cunt , In a nutshell i just hope the bitch fucking dies.

    • That picture of her above is just saying hit me in the face really hard with a shovel.

      • Did anyone else see that pic of them in the back of the car when they were in the UK? She looks seriously fucking psychotic, and he looks like he’s about to blub!

  18. Fuck the cunts, the US is welcome to them although it’s only a matter before it goes tits up and Markle takes the dozy fucking cuckold twat to the cleaners and he comes back begging for Lizzie’s forgiveness.

    • I hope they disown the bastard , i would’ve disowned him the moment he first walked in the door with her, everyone knew she was trouble from day one and she has certainly proven that. It’s just a shame Harry couldn’t see it like everyone else did.

  19. Wait until the ginger cunt gets can’t inflagrante with some cheap whore ala Hugh Grant, well , he is used to living with one, only that whore will only be in it for money… hang on.. that’s Meghan all over

    • Well you never know a tragic accident could just be round the corner for poor old Meghan.

      • Hmm, I’ve heard that there’s a nasty virus doing the rounds! What if…….!

  20. It’s a pity you can’t give us a song on the site Telly with your guitar. Miss my little granddaughter. but received a video from her dad with her first recording ‘Waterhog’. Shows great potential at three!

    • Iv’e always encouraged kids to play an instrument , especially in this day and age with all the social media and mobile phones etc. Iv’e not been playing much of late Bertie although i did have a bash yesterday but was the first time in awhile. You cant beat a really good blues session.

  21. This reminds me of a mate of mine. He announced he was going to marry this horrible, overbearing, controlling old slag.
    We (all his mates) were horrified and we were all telling each other to “have a word with the soppy cunt, she’s a wrong ‘un.”
    Of course nobody had the bottle and so it came to pass. Nine years and 2 kids later he comes in from work and she tells him to pack his bags and fuck off, she’s moving some new bloke in. Poor cunt.
    Still, I doubt if telling him “I told you so” would make him feel any better. At least Hewitt has a life of luxury and posh birds with their legs open to compensate him for his foolishness. Stupid boy.

  22. She’s a cunt, he’s a fucking spastic. Bollocks to the pair of them. Wankers.

    I resent the term spastic, please desist

  24. Mucky markle and the half blood prince, die you pair of stingy grabbing bastards.

  25. Megain Sparkle is a ginger cock sucking whore.

    Mind you, I would suck him off myself (and do a much better job.)

  26. Charles, Camilla, William and Kate are stepping up. The Queen speaks to the nation Sunday. All HERE at least trying to do and say something.
    Not a hint of them returning (not abandoning but just delaying their plans fof a while) to give some moral support, some little boost to the people of the country at this dark hour.

  27. I don’t mind Megan….she is a clever woman who never pretended to be something she isn’t….a ruthless,ambitious,greedy,”woke” American actress. She has played her hand magnificently.

    The “People’s Prince” is a different matter…I detest the whinging,self-pitying,selfish,stupid,spoiled,arrogant,entitled Dolt. I am enjoying seeing him being taken to the cleaners by Megan…Good Luck and Well Done to her.

    • Maybe a return to Hollywood was the endgame all along? Play at being royal knowing the stuffiness, tedious protocols and a lifetime of ‘public service’ were never going to work long term for someone who hitches up to any fashionable bandwagon going. She’s now a ‘victim’ of sorts – depending on who you ask and free to cash in on her status. Ginger Pubes was the perfect patsy, Fiddler, I’ll give it a few more years before she bins him like a fly-tipped mattress.

      • Few more months I reckon,L.L.

        She’s got everything she wanted now. No need to put up with that thick sack-of-shite any longer…her future is assured without him. He’ll be back here permanently within the year while Megan “pursues projects” in America.

        Enjoying the “lockdown”?

      • Lucky enough to live in the countryside Fiddler, so long walks and a few jobs I have been putting off have got done.

        Mainly it has brought out the local cunts in force, ‘Clap for the NHS’ and teddy bears in windows for some reason. The local shop owner has gone a bit mental and stopped taking cash, card only and the other night lit candles outside for some villager who had died of coronavirus. Yourself, Fanny and the hounds keeping well?

      • I’m strangely rather enjoying it apart from the Pub being closed…no ramblers,pushbikers etc.,the roads are empty apart from the timber wagons. The lads who help me out come up and we do a few hours work and after, while observing social-distancing ,have a few cans.

      • How’s it going,Vernon? Fucking frightening to think that this lockdown could go on for weeks.

      • Evening Dick, doing bits on the interweb to keep the business ticking over – and got the race monster bike out so lots of road riding (all the annoying chav amateurs have disappeared so I can cycle in peace on deserted roads – winner, don’t like the irresponsible little jerks!)
        I miss the good lady a lot though – I can only assume a bent barrel or a dodgy ‘scope! 😀

      • Not sure DF – hopefully all ISAC’ers are good 👍 – we live in strange times!

  28. Fuck you all, I’d give her one. She’ll be divorced soon and telling her, ‘story:

  29. Good nom. As someone who has moved to the US, I do have a question and an observation.

    My question is, how can Harry de Fuckwitt even be allowed to stay in the US beyond the standard 90 day visitor visa waiver? Marrying a US citizen does NOT qualify you for citizenship or Permanent Residency (green card). There are various kinds of visa you can use to enter and temporarily stay in the US. Student visa, artistic visa (for singers, bands, etc) and work visas to name a few. To obtain a work visa (as I originally did), you have to PROVE to the Department of Homeland Security that you have highly specific and specialised skills that are not readily available in the US and thus you should be granted special dispensation to work on US soil. Assuming de Fuckwitt intends to ‘work’, what could be his highly specific and specialised skills? Being the plus 1 to some two-bit failed soap opera slag doesn’t seem to qualify.

    My observation is, America isn’t for everyone. Especially the extremes of America you find in California and particularly, LA. As a Brit, you give up a LOT when living in America in terms of culture, civility, manners, food, drink, scenery, humour, conversation, a sense of shared experience with those you meet and interact with. Without these things, your Britishness can become diluted in a way and you can ‘lose’ yourself. You either embrace your new reality and become Americanised or you find a way to top up your Britishness in various ways. I think de Fuckwitt will feel like a fish out of water pretty quickly. His meltdown and eventual run back to his natural heritage will be fun to watch. His slag is obviously running the show right now. It’s only a matter of time before that wears thin, even for de Fuckwitt.

    • This very scenario was in the papers IY, his criticism of Trump accusing him of having ‘blood on his hands’ may well come back to haunt him when clarifying his immigration status. Orange Man could be a cunt a put him through the wringer, especially the IRS who will scrutinise anything he gets from the cabbage whisperer (us).

      • Arf’noon LL. I also wondered if the escape from Canada had anything to do with Canada’s notoriously high taxes. That said, California is one of the highest taxed states in the US, second only to New York I think. No doubt the Hollywood set know how to (ahem) hide money and income to avoid exposing it to the IRS. While at the same time virtue signalling for social programmes that they don’t contribute to and avoid the consequences of. The world we live in!

    • I couldn’t imagine a worse punishment than living in LA, id be homesick soon as i sat o the plane out.
      Id truly hate it.
      Breaking News***
      Justin the minstrel has saw his arse as a load of masks & medical supplies made in the US and destined to go to Canada an south America has been held back for American use by….POTUS Donny Tango.

  30. Very prescient post IY.
    I make you right. It’s a clusterfuck as our cousins would say. Farewell (not so) good ship Harry.

    • Little Pwincess Hewitt has made his tofu bed, let him lie on it – I cannot see any appetite for ever having this Man back here bleeding the taxpayer dry and having the f*cking audacity to whine about how bad he has it.

      • Oh he’ll be back, Vern. Mark my words, he’ll be back. Sucking at the Royal teat and acting all forlorn and woe-is-me. And then the transatlantic mud slinging competition will begin. It’ll be fun.

      • 100% he will be back IY – just before Pwincess Wokeflake realises just how vindictive and vengeful The Firm are.
        Whimpering to Tom Bradby how he was controlled, manipulated etc – but still chewing out our bones for his income and lifestyle.

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