Shorts in Cold Weather

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Men who wear shorts in cold weather are cunts.

We already know how tough they are because they have beards and ponytails. Invariably, they have such bad taste that they wear hideously garish clothing, have a big fat arse girlfriend in tow and have a superior demeanour.

I always have a laugh when they slip over on a well placed dog turd. Fucking cunts!

Nominated by Jimmy the Spaz

98 thoughts on “Shorts in Cold Weather”

  1. It’s the opposite here. Anybcunt that wears a coat and or a hoody on a 40°C day is a criminal and or a junkie. The cunt may as well be carrying a hessian sack with swag written on it a balaclava and broad arrows on their clothes, and yes they tend to be pre-colonials or fobs.

  2. Anyone not wearing sturdy tweeds in winter weather deserves everything they get.
    Get To Fuck.

  3. I too am one of those cunts that have never suffered with cold weather.

    That said I probably wouldn’t go round in t-shirt and shorts in the middle of a snowy/frosty winter; but wearing things like gloves, scarves and extra layers etc have never appealed. And always make me feel hot and bothered even when outside temps are hovering around 0c.

    On the flip side I do get quite chilly during hot spells, and will quite often put a jumper on or thicker trousers in the middle of summer

    Guess my metabolism is all fucked up

  4. Only people who are engaged in a game of rugby should wear shorts…..the rest are probably The Gays looking to “flaunt their wares” and flash people as they sit down.

      • I’m not deformed,S.B….it hangs to just below my knees…I would have suspected that God actually intended it to go on a Dark Key but, as we all know,God doesn’t make People of Colour…he only makes White men.

      • Top-tip for cunts with unfeasibly extensive scabby green cocks:

        Wear long johns under your shorts.

    • I do hope Dick that your referring to Rugby Union rather than the peasants alternative played by mill workers of Rugby League.

      • Quite Right. I only recognise Union,C.F….a Gentleman’s Sport.

        The only other acceptable sports are Test Cricket, Polo and Racing.

      • and Huntin’,Shootin’ ‘n’ Fishin’, of course.

        No women’s attempts at sport are ever acceptable.

      • Women’s beach volleyball (those tight bikinis, lord have mercy) and naked mud wrestling are the only women’s sports that should be permitted. The only participants should be a 10/10 on the sexiness scale. Topless darts wasn’t too bad, until the PC mob ruined it and got it banned.

      • I’ve never even heard of lawn darts….is it something like attempting to chuck Warwick Davis types the length of the rugby club bar?

      • Similar.
        Banned it now!
        Worried that giving children over large darts to throw about outside is ‘dangerous’.
        Few got injured(shrug)
        Police state this country.

      • Fuck all wrong with League. Especially when you look at the fucking hooray henrys at Twickers – on the pitch and the crowd.
        Swing low from a tree the mumsy cunts.

      • Pah. Give me League any day of the week.

        Far more aggressive & free-flowing than the Southern Hooray Henrys that make up Union, and its stop-start every 10 seconds for some random bloody foul.

  5. Simply incorrect sir.
    I always wear shorts due to my impossibly powerful legs.
    Couldn’t give a fuck about the weather.
    However I am a right cunt so who knows?
    Fuck ponytails for men.That is a sign of illness or The Gayness.
    Have a nice day!
    You awful bastards 🎀

    • Good Morning

      Q) What do a horse and a man with a pony tail have in common?
      A) You lift the tail up and there is an arsehole underneath.

      I quite like watching the Grand Prix races but feel that young Billy Monger, who commentates on a semi regular basis, wears shorts which show that he has lost his legs. I just feel a bit uncomfortable about it as I think he is being made to do so and to justify his presence.

  6. I am confused! Extinction Rebellion tell me that climate change is an existential threat but they appear to have disappeared…

    A bunch of scaredy cats,me thinks

    As for the bloke in the picture: I would love to see what is under those shorts. He is very buff!

    • See loads of blokes who wear shorts year round,
      Not me, im shy.
      Just summer.
      As for ponytails, haven’t seen a bloke with a ponytail since about 1996.

    • Takes out list or “Reasons not to wear shorts” and adds “less risk of getting botted by Krav”

  8. The only thing worse than shorts is those three quarter length shorts that makes the fat fucker waddling past look like he has had a growth spurt in normal trousers . I often slip in to a pair of really tight shorts on a Sunday morning when i see the ‘Jovo’s’ coming up the drive. I rush to the door with a bread knife in one hand, the missus’s dildo whirring in the other and a massive erection busting out of my short shorts ……”Come on in I’ve just brewed a pot fresh tea!”…..Soon gets rid of the weirdo cunts.

  9. These peasants are usually fat as fuck, wearing flip-flops and a white £1.99 t-shirt (that rides halfway up their back) with dried-on egg down the front.
    There should be a by-law requiring these cunts be culled on sight.

    • Flipflops deserve a nom of their own.
      And their posh cousin birkenstocks.
      What a useless piece of footwear!
      Basically of the sandal family, the only person who should be wearing sandals is our lord Jesus Christ who died for our sins.
      I wear dewalt rigger boots 24/7.
      Pretend theyre SS jackboots.

      • I suspect Compo is a fan. Beard , check. Preaching peace, love and equality, check. Almost cult-like following and deity status amongst the devotees, check….wait a minute!

      • I wear the DeWalt safety boot so i am constantly armed if i need to occasion a kicking to a nonce, effnik, bender or libtard.

  10. I always find shorts very undignified unless your an extremely attractive woman with a great figure,then it’s a must.
    Sports are a suitable occasion as well.

    • What about kilts Mac?
      Your national dress, bet theyre comfy?
      Let the lumpy bits breathe so to speak!
      You ever wear one, or is that more a weddings only thing?

      • Only special occasions MNC. They are never worn unless it’s a wedding,new year or your an elderly academic from the sticks. I knew an old professor of chemistry who wore one all year round but he was a rarity.

      • My cousin wore a kilt at his wedding, hes from Yorkshire an said it was a nod to our gran (a scot)
        But while nothing against kilts an on record as loving Scotland and scots, 8 wouldnt as id feel a impostor.
        Steictly for scotsmen?
        Whatd you think Mac?

      • Excuse all the spelling mistakes it goes with the territory where im concerned!
        Blame this phone..
        Fuckin phone!!

      • Hey your Gran was a Scot so you’ve got a Scottish connection so go for it MNC.
        You know her surname so there’s probably a tartan associated with her name .

  11. Guilty! Live in Cornwall and it’s like the Bahamas here all fucking year round, palm trees and everything. That cunt Connery doesn’t live here though.

    • I lived in Cornwall between the ages of 35 and 45. Shorts although maybe with a hoodie, jumper and hat, were my preference from February through to November. I had more sex in those ten years than at any other time of my life.

      • Mate, they’re all easy as fuck down here. Fuck like bunnies they do, it’s the sea air, it rots knicker elastic.

  12. Having reached the age of 12, I wore my first ever “mans” pants . ( longin’s )
    That right of passage observed, the kek’s remain long and always will be.
    Shorts are for kid’s, not men .

  13. Grown men wearing shorts?

    I didn’t get where I am today by wearing shorts! Not worn ’em since turning 8.

    Our postman wears shorts. He’s a bit dippy. A whitey originally from Kenya, he donated one of his kidneys to his black wife who showed her appreciation by filing for divorce and taking him to the cleaners.

    Nice chap. He’s currently married to a groupie from Ecuador or somewhere.

    • His own fault Ruff.
      He should buy British.
      No sympathy for the one kidney short wearing mail delivering cunt.
      Equador? She’ll shrink his head during the night!
      Does she have a lip plate?😁

      • Morning Miserable.

        Postie’s just made a delivery… where the fuck is my letter from Boris? Even if sent 2nd Class it should have arrived by now. We need to know what’s happening and what we should be doing. Are married couples allowed to have sex, sleep in the same bed, in the same room even? I sincerely hope not.

        I hate to say it but I’m beginning to think Boris may be the type who’s somewhat economical with the truth.

      • The biggest load of patronizing shite since Cameron’s pro-EU leaflet. Morning Creampuff, Miserable.

      • Morning LL.
        Ruffs not had a letter off Boris and neither have I,
        The pale slug better stick a cheque in mine for loss of earnings.
        This week ive emailed Boris and Rishi Sunak.
        Told them im not their friend anymore.

      • Hehehe, Boris? Ive heard rumours hes a bit of a fibber, cant see it though,
        Surely someone who cheats on his missus an has illegitimate kids cant be a liar?☺

      • I’m not bothered about being lied to Miserable, so long as he tells me what I want to think and believe.

  14. I feel sorry for the blokes who have to wear short trousers in winter because they’ve got a tattoo on their leg. No point in having one if nobody can see it, right?

  15. I used to hate wearing shorts as part of my PE kit when I was at comprehensive school decades ago.

    You’d always get one cunt intentionally kicking the football hard against your bare thigh in the middle of winter on a rock hard fucking pitch.

    Then you had the sadistic PE teacher telling all the kids to do cross-country in similar weather conditions, while he was nicely wrapped up drinking tea and reading a paper.

  16. Never quite understood people in this great country running away from a drop of rain or blasting the heating aaaaht 19 hours a day.
    I don’t feel the cold and quite like the window open in the middle of winter, I’ll wear T-shirts in winter but not shorts unless I’m at home, I get a bit embarrassed wearing shorts as the women are constantly staring at my well toned legs and I can tell their imagining what my big cock looks like. I notice the odd inferior man glancing at me admiring my masculinity and wishing they were 6’3, muscular and as good looking and stylish as me…or they are gay either way they can fuck off.
    It’s a cold country end of…it’s not normal to sit in a sauna type house ya bellends.
    I find it’s usually the women who want the damn heating on all the time and the weak bloke who lets them get away with it and pays the bill.
    Kind of gone off the subject but go fuck yourselves anyways. 😁

    • 🎶
      When the rain comes
      They run and hide their heads
      They might as well be dead
      When the rain comes
      When the rain comes 🎶

      Morning B&WC. Not to worry, you’ll feel the cold when you’re an old Black and White Cunt.

      • Afternoon RTCP, nah I’ll be sitting on my Yacht in the Caribbean when I’m 60+. My plan is to sail to lots of different countries from my Jamaica base…cocktails in Havana, carnival in Barbados, and a bit of arsehole tonguing in Martinique.
        A bit of piracy may be in order also…I’ll come back to blighty for the summer and also if I need a hip operation etc. 😁

      • I have a 24 pounder cannon for sale should you wish to enhance your piracy credentials. Whilst not exactly high tech it may well serve your purpose especially if you wave your similarly sized todger in the direction of your potential victim/ client.

  17. April fools day is cancelled this year cause no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit happening in the world right now.
    I’m talking of course about no football for a month.

    • I thought you meant Wrong-Daily and Litha Nandos thinking they stood a chance on Saturday.

      • Morning LL. If anything’s irrelevant to people’s lives at the moment, it’s got to be that circus!
        😂

  19. Shorts in public should be limited to people participating in sport and hot women with the legs for it.

    Or and this is a crucial exception! Any bloke preparing for, indulging or thinking about Barbecuing large amounts of meat and drinking beer.

    • Above i said I’d not seen a bloke with a ponytail since 96.
      Just been the bank, first bloke I see,,,fuckin ponytail.

      • Your bank is open? I’m beginning to think your relationship with the truth is a bit like Boris’s.

      • You cheeky fucker Rtc!😁
        Yep, 10-1its open, 2 people at a time.
        Queue right down the road!
        Luckily I was right at the front as got there early.
        Im with the Natwest, but dunno about other banks?

      • Naturally I have accounts with several banks Miserable.

        Wouldn’t touch GnatWest with a shit stick. My mother-in-law and her idiot son bank there, they’ve had no end of trouble over the years.

        https://www.flickr.com/photos/stillunusual/14284327157

        I only go to my bank when I want cash out the cashpoint. Otherwise do all my business with the cunts online.

      • Fucking Pollock????? That was never what I wrote! Pillock is what I fucking wrote. I reckon this tablet sometimes changes words on uploading.

      • It’s fuckin’ elderly cunts with earrings that piss me off.
        You’ve not been for a dip in the Black Lagoon yet have you Miserable?
        Denying me that is an infringement of my civil rights so I’ve been on to Shami about it. 😂

      • Naw, but do sometimes go there!
        Derbyshire police are bit over the top, me walking dog on moorland miles from anybody or me walking dog near loads of other people?
        Some lord on news saying the police havent the authority to stop you driving out to walk the dog?
        Lots of grey areas legally..tend to do what most appeals!😉

  20. I wear shorts when possible because I have muscular calves and thighs. The Mrs bought me some trousers and jeans and they’re too tight around the legs but not the waist. Skinny jeans and pants can go fuck themselves.

    Is everyone a skinny weedy twat nowadays or something? ‘Slim fit’ clothing needs a cunting. It’s not ‘slim fit’ it’s ‘wimp fit’.

    But yeah, wearing shorts outside when it’s freezing is just fucking stupid.

    Maybe the guy above in the photo has a missus who threw out his old jeans and trousers and bought him some ‘wimp fit’ clothing?

    Perhaps he’s protesting and if so, I for one, salute him.

    • Fuck shorts theyre ok if filming ‘it aint alf hot mum’ but thats it.
      Im getting one of those scottish frocks, kilts!
      I havent got muscular calves and thighs,
      But i am a flasher.

      • Hate to pull you up about your taste in footwear, MNC, but you do know your DeWalt boots are made in …..China?
        When they fall apart prematurely head over to William Lennon for some proper Rigger boots. (Rufflander.co.uk sorry can’t do links). Proper clobber made in Stoney Middleton, Derbyshire, family firm been going for donkeys years. By the time you pop your clogs (no pun intended) they’ll probably be starting to wear in.

      • Yeah know the place you mean!
        Had looked at having some made,
        Have to wait till back earning now!😡
        Oh golly gosh!(for crustyflaps☺) your right!!
        Taken my boot off…made in china😡
        Thought they were british!!

  21. I can’t tell if this pandemic is the end of the world or it will all be over in a few weeks. Hurry up wuflu and make your fucking move already and start killing people

    All this happened because some chinaman wanted a bowl of batsoup in the he hing hung province in ching chong land FFS and dumb western leaders downplayed its severity Boris and especially Trump taking the L here fucking dumb cunts

  22. Always see cunts in shorts in winter, its usually type of young gullible twats who act all tough and hard. Just catch hypothermia and the flu you stupid fuckwits then we’ll see how hard you are

  23. They say April Fool’s jokes are banned today.

    Well, I’m hoping some cunt from the WHO (not Roger Daltrey) will come on TV with the leaders of the world’s nations and say, “Coronavirus? April fools!”

  24. I have legs like Bambi with rickets so rarely wear shorts except holidays.

  27. I now have a “Thiny” leg and a normal leg due to this shit wank medical problem so I would look a right cunt in shorts.
    I raised my trouser legs last month to show the boss what was going on as to be honest the prognosis was monoped by now, but the fucker still hasn’t got gangrene and fallen off.
    When it does I will wear shorts and tell tales of a terrible accident when cutting my toe nails in a power cut.

  28. We have a cunt around these parts who jogs wearing shorts and no top while carrying a pair of dumbells.

    Stops at the lights and does pushups until the lights change.

    All this is going on while its 4 degrees outside.

    Bellend.

  29. I wore short trousers when I was a child. I gave those up when I reached my teenage years.

      • Afternoon, Ruffy. I’m not sure. I think I was first boy in my class to get hair ‘down there’ mind you. I noticed getting changed for PE.
        The usual comparing each others bits.
        As an adult long trousers all the time for me unless going swimming.

      • Long trousers for me to spoons even when swimming.
        Not a exhibitionist like you!☺☺☺

      • Ive got hair down there too Spoons!
        Isnt that weird?
        Like we’re twins!!
        😉

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