Star Trek: Picard

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I’m nominating Patrick Stewart, Alex Kurtzman and Amazon Video for the literal shit show that is Star Trek: Picard. My problem with this show is that it is neither Star Trek, nor Jean-Luc Picard in the show.

Star Trek was always supposed to be a show that the whole family could watch. Sure, at times it had the odd political message, the first interracial kiss being one of the most famous. However, that politics was always non-partisan, and for the most part, done in a sensitive way. Star Trek: Picard and it’s recent predecessor, Star Trek: Dick Suckery, are entirely partisan toward the Far Left. Both have episodes with F-bombs being dropped and extreme violence, both heavily feature women who are perfect in every way. In Picard, there hasn’t been an episode where the alleged Picard hasn’t been shouted at, or berated by a woman, and he’s just taken it like a good little cuck. One female Admiral even berated him over his “sheer fucking hubris”.

A recent episode showed that there was a black market for Borg implants and the opening scene showed a Borg, a character from Star Trek: Voyager called Icheb, being dismembered while fully conscious, without anaesthetic and screaming in agony. They actually showed him having an eye ripped out. So much for family viewing. Patrick Stewart actually announced a couple of days before it was released that the show was an allegory for Brexit and Trump’s Presidency. And there have certainly been a couple of negative references to Brexit, with Picard’s Irish Romulan housekeeper saying “dumb Northeners” after an attack by other Romulans on Picard’s vineyard. Kurtzman himself got into trouble for publicly stating that he didn’t want Trump supporters watching it. Well, he’s got that wish, because the ratings have fallen off a cliff. And it’s not just Trump supporters switching off.

The show bears absolutely no resemblance to Trek of the past. It’s badly written, badly acted and makes little sense. It is the quintessential woke show. A pile of festering shite.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

126 thoughts on “Star Trek: Picard”

  1. Discovery was cuntingly poor. It’s not ST but far left propaganda in Sci fi drag. Even if it wasn’t scream in your face political, it still ain’t Trek. It has lost any sense of wonder and mystery.
    That shite finally caused me to abandon ST so I won’t be bothering with Picard.

    • Harold, the actress whom played Jadzia Dax, Terry Farrell, played Cat in the pilot episode of the American version of Red Dwårf, which also starred Robert Llewellyn, Kryten from original British version, and Jane Leaves, Daphne, of American sitcom Fraiser, as Holly.

    • Dax was a wonderful character. Transgender before it became popular really. Her romance with Worf ending when she ‘died’ pissed me off, as she came back even sexier. Foq me, best ever star trek crew members were Data, Geordi, Scotty, Odo, Quark and of course the very sexy Seven Of Nine…there was something about that thing on her face, and even when she was proper Borg Drone she was still sexy as fuck!

  3. Am I alone in thinking Star Trek is and always has been a dull and boring sci Fi show where everyone behaves in a clinical sterile fashion and fuck all ever happens in it.
    Whenever it’s been on telly my main objective was to stay awake.

    • Kirk wrestling giant turd creatures (not called Spock) or throwing obvious polystyrene blocks around? The Android in Next Generation getting his freak on with a good looking woman? Nelix in Voyager?

      Star Trek, in it’s own way, has always had content or characters to make the audience laugh, but it went way of the reservation with Discovery and lost its appeal to most.

      A sad demise of an otherwise entertaining programme, in my humble opinion.

      • Data is ‘fully functional’ and ‘programmed in various techniques’ a huge loss to the crew when he dies.

    • Star Trek was revolutionary, and gave us flat screen tvs and mobile phones. The way the ships travelled was a new science theory, and even though it was a fiction series it was all based on real science theories. It gave us the first black girl/white guy kiss, and introduced us to the idea of other planets and species, many hostile but some friendly. Kinda a look at the UN, some that were enemies of others but all joining to combat any kind of threat. Characters like Q and Guinan are total enigmas and we never fully understand them. All Star Treks up to Enterprise kept that explore idea, fighting only if entirely necessary. To seek out new life and new civilisations… No other sci-fi compares, though Kirk was a dick and so was Shatner himself. Engage!

      • “Scotty get us out of here”.

        Much more understandable.

        Picard should’ve kept it simple. I can imagine the crew…”Engage what? Engage who? You to Riker? Speak clearly you bald cunt”

      • Make it so! Make it sew what, a shirt? Maybe its: make it so do la fa mi do re so do la ti do re do! Did you know, nobody ever said ‘beam me up scotty’ despite everyone saying that when you mentionpstar trek.

  4. Kiwi, that TNG episode “The Naked Now”, where the crew get a virus similar to being drunk was a sort of follow up from where KIrk’s crew suffer the same affliction previously, the episode, “The Naked Time”.

    • I bow to you’re superior knowledge/recall of said episodes Spoony.

      Suffice to say, I’m a booze addled wreck and vaguely remember watching the episodes in question. What I do remember, however, is immensely enjoying the Trek series up Discovery (a bint of colour called Michael?!) . The reboot films too, with Chris Whatshisname as Kirk, were played for fun as far as I could tell.

      May the force be with you etc etc

      • Seeing how Kirk cheated the Kobayashi Maru, and how he meets Spock Bones and Scotty was good. But what is that fuckin dwarf pet Scotty has, and whats with the new Romulan look? Would love a film with Kirk Picard Janeway Sisko and Archer, a timey-wimey one with Borg and Romulans as the bad guys, with new Kirk and co playing the start and meeting the threat. Seven of sexy Nine could bring the warning, with USS Premonition putting in an appearance.

  6. P.s. Maybe the next cunting will be about trouble ‘t mill or Hovis bread, subjects more comfortable to a Northerner. 👍😜

  8. Star Trek was James .T. Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Bones, Sulu, Chekov and Uhuru…
    Picard and all the rest of them can fuck right off….

  9. Off-topic, but just saw Jeremy Paxman mention ‘woke’ people in an old Have I Got News For You. Thought that was funny.

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