Star Trek: Picard

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I’m nominating Patrick Stewart, Alex Kurtzman and Amazon Video for the literal shit show that is Star Trek: Picard. My problem with this show is that it is neither Star Trek, nor Jean-Luc Picard in the show.

Star Trek was always supposed to be a show that the whole family could watch. Sure, at times it had the odd political message, the first interracial kiss being one of the most famous. However, that politics was always non-partisan, and for the most part, done in a sensitive way. Star Trek: Picard and it’s recent predecessor, Star Trek: Dick Suckery, are entirely partisan toward the Far Left. Both have episodes with F-bombs being dropped and extreme violence, both heavily feature women who are perfect in every way. In Picard, there hasn’t been an episode where the alleged Picard hasn’t been shouted at, or berated by a woman, and he’s just taken it like a good little cuck. One female Admiral even berated him over his “sheer fucking hubris”.

A recent episode showed that there was a black market for Borg implants and the opening scene showed a Borg, a character from Star Trek: Voyager called Icheb, being dismembered while fully conscious, without anaesthetic and screaming in agony. They actually showed him having an eye ripped out. So much for family viewing. Patrick Stewart actually announced a couple of days before it was released that the show was an allegory for Brexit and Trump’s Presidency. And there have certainly been a couple of negative references to Brexit, with Picard’s Irish Romulan housekeeper saying “dumb Northeners” after an attack by other Romulans on Picard’s vineyard. Kurtzman himself got into trouble for publicly stating that he didn’t want Trump supporters watching it. Well, he’s got that wish, because the ratings have fallen off a cliff. And it’s not just Trump supporters switching off.

The show bears absolutely no resemblance to Trek of the past. It’s badly written, badly acted and makes little sense. It is the quintessential woke show. A pile of festering shite.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

126 thoughts on “Star Trek: Picard”

  1. Gave up on the whole ST franchise when that crusty cheese-dick JJ. Abrams got his grubby hands on it.

    Make it Shite, Number One!

    • Apologies for tailgating your post Techno.
      My Brother – who is a proper cunt – we have nought in common apart from squeezing down the same cunt.
      He called me – unusual (no he didnt call me “unusual” – its unusual he calls me) with a bit of a sinister tone to his voice.
      He is a high ranking Officer in the Services. It was a warning that this weekend coming will see some rather unusual movement and the sight of troops on the streets. He has attended some recent briefings of senior forces bosses held under tight security. He is not one to overplay his hand – he was deadly serious. Boris and co (who I have much faith in) are being driven by events and events are reaching a level that powers that havent been used in the UK since WW2 are likely to be dusted off. He wouldnt elaborate and I have no more to tell than that.
      We live in interesting times fellow cunters – and it could get quite hairy from here on in after this weekend.

      • This from a Graun cunt;

        “”Do not know where to put this but it might be of interest to a Scottish journalist.

        Apparently there’s a lot of army trucks at Strathclyde country park. Way more than normal traffic and I’m sure they aren’t there to have a shot on the pedalo boats””

        The start of a lockdown?

      • UFO landing, maybe. You’ll know if a bunch of american soldiers arrive, they hijack our close encounters.

      • I”ll believe it when i see it. I do know most locals arent taking it anywhere near as seriously as Boris and his experts suggest.

  2. I fucking hate Patrick Stewart. He’s a whiney woke lefty old woman who hates himself and wants to feminise men. If some bitch spoke to me the way you say Picard was spoken to ,I haven’t watched so don’t know, I’d pile-drive my first through her face. These cunts have declared war on white men.
    So be it.
    Your choice minge.
    Kirk was modest ,self sacraficing,loyal and tough but fair. Picard sounds like a craven worthless shit bag lacking a backbone. Stewart should have refused to appear in it and called the makers what they are…. contemptuous cunts.
    That is all.

    • Yeh….. I just wish the fucking condescending bald cunt would just put his wanky ship in warp factor 10 and fuck off permanently to planet remainos to spend the rest of his miserable life amongst other like minded retards and fucking cry babies……

  3. Know theres a few ‘trekkies’ on ISAC so ill watch my step.
    Hate that baldy leftie fuck Patrick Stewart,
    Only like the original star Trek, tried a few of the spin offs but found them boring.
    Live long and prosper.✋

  4. I can’t watch the cue ball fuck after I saw him playing tonsil tennis with Gandalf The Cock Swallower…

  5. Enjoyed all the Star Trek permutations from Kirk to Archer, but wouldn’t touch this new series with a shit stick. Cunts.

    • That, my friend, is a VERY wise decision. I also enjoyed what I call REAL Star Trek. And I think Enterprise ended before its time. Trust me though, woke trek is best avoided.

  6. I wouldn’t stop watching something simply because the main actor/actress was a cunt otherwise I would hardly watch anything. Despite Stewart being a dirty, lascivious, hateful fîddler whose wife, (a mere thirty-nine years his junior) no doubt overlooks his ridiculous chrome dome noggin, his skinny, old man emaciation, his lack of prowess, his occasional trouser accidents, his constant bed-wetting, and (although a resident of ‘the States) his constant, infuriating virtue-signalling about Britain, I still wouldn’t watch this microwaved turd.

    Star Trek is for children or for people with mental health issues. Choose your side.

    • I refer the Rt. Hon. Gentlemen to my comment about Dr Who. We’ve got enough science fiction going on in the real world at the moment.

      • I recall the musings made by the honourable member for Scouseshire and commend his gracious comments to the house.

      • May I take this opportunity to wish Captain Magnanimous, Rt. Hon. member for St Helens South and Whiston a joyous afternoon.

    • I am wondering if Hateful Fiddler is a relative of our very own Northumbrian Fiddler, an inspirational Victorian ancestor perhaps?

  7. What’s needed is the predator alien cunts to pop into the Star Trek universe and off Picard just as he launches into one of his pompous speeches.

    Picard trying to out woke Doctor Cunt.

    • The line must be drawn here. This far, no further! *predator roar* Spear just misses. *predator growl*

  8. I have reluctantly sat through every episode (fast forwarding through most of it admittedly). I can confirm that this is complete bollocks. Alex Kurtzman obviously looked at the Stellar example of Rian Johnson and Chris Chibnall and thought “kill a long-loved franchise and insult the intelligence of millions of fans? Sign me the fuck up!”

    Nobody ever asked for f-bombs every 10 minutes, implied incest and beheadings, all we ever asked for was for Jeri Ryan to get her tits out and the showrunners couldn’t even get that right.

    Cunts.

    • Tits out? Perhaps at the height of her pertness in Voyager but not now.

      Tits out for Harry Kim.

      • Granted she is 52 now but still looks fit. At London Film and Comic Con in 2012 I had the pleasure of looking down her 44 year old cleavage whilst she signed my photograph. They were surprisingly freckly but still good norks.

      • Woul love run my tong down the middle of her body. Wonder if she’s hairy down there…mmmm.

    • Captains log stardate 35482.1 hard, dark brown and sausage shaped. We have warp 8, replicators, holodecks, phasers, quantum torpedoes, but we cant cure baldness.

      • Diablo, I think the late Gene Roddenberry said regarding baldness, that there isn’t a cure for baldness because in the future no one will care about it.

  11. Star Trek went down the shitter with Enterprise. Discovery is the bog roll, and the new Picard is the flush. New films not bad, but not a patch on originals. Not enough next gen films, would like a kirk picard janeway sisko film, with guinan and tasha yar popping up and using odo for infiltration, maybe against romulans and borg. I like the ‘federation hero’ music of the new films, stuck in my head, and two Spocks is fun. ‘As my customary greeting would seem oddly self serving, I will simply say good luck’

    • ‘Enterprise’ was good. Everything after that was shite, except the 2009 movie ‘Star Trek’. That said, I’ve never been a fan of the various feature films.

    • Enterprise had a slow start but after 4 seasons was better than Voyager by it’s end, which was trash. The characters werent all as stuffy as Janeway’s lot.

  12. Only ever watched the original series. My kindly next door neighbour recorded every episode on DVD as a birthday present.

    Not interested in anything after 1969.

    Reckon the 1960’s the best decade ever for TV & film. Perhaps for everything.

  13. Fuck! Just wrote a diatribe that disappeared into the ether for describing the 60’s show as ‘ex-ceed-ingly woke itself’! Fuck it!

  14. At least the one from the 1960s had that fat, Canadian jëw Kirk in it who clearly played it for laughs.

    What’s brown and sticky and found in the Enterprise’s shithouse?
    The Captain’s log.

    Why is Lieutenant Uhuru black?
    Because William Shatner.

      • Why do you never see any Australians on Star Trek?

        Coz they don’t do any fucking work in the future either.

    • Don’t use that word jêw Captain! I did and I didn’t get away with it. I was labelled as a Nâzi.

      • Bertie@
        Chuck Berry did the duck walk, you do the goosestep, we’re a broad church, we know you got carried away with Pink Floyds far Right influence.
        😁

      • Evening Miserable. I’ve since had a phone call from Harry de Halfwit who’s offered to to send me his full party Nazi costume, including his jackboots. Only then will I be able to fill my boots with anti – Semitic material.
        PS – Jeremy Covid has asked me if I will act as PR officer with the Jėwish community.

      • If that jackets a 44″ chest save it for me Bertie – I need something formal for my upcoming Court appearance and my gimp outfits in the wash!

    • What does the Enterprise have in common with bog roll?

      They both get rid of klingons!

  15. Really enjoyed the Shatner original series, Next Generation and Deep Throat Nine.
    Everything since has been pretty much pants.
    Stewart? Well, he’s just shown himself to be another Metrocentric, Remoaning luvvy cunt. Wouldn’t watch this ‘Woke Trek’ cack if they paid me.

  16. From what I can tell, this series showed the gradual transformation of Picard, from respected space fleet commander to the Man from fucking Del Monte.

    ‘Slow burn’ series spin-offs can be good when driven by excellent writing and character development. But this torturous bag of shite had all the impact of a left hook from Stephen Hawking.

    Yet another sci-fi staple ruined by madcap woke cuntfuckery.

  17. If it ain’t Kirk, Spock, Bones and Scottie, it ain’t Trek. End of.

    As for Patrick Stewedturd, he just needs a photon torpedo where no photon torpedo has gone before. Cunt.

    Evening cunters.

    • For some reason my post keeps disappearing. Curious.

      Evening IY.
      I was just saying how the old Star Trek had its wókeness as well. Both mîñcéy Sülu character and “over…..acting…..Kirk….” had more camp than Badén Powell’s back garden.

      • Evening Capt.

        Paper goods have been wiped out. Not sure about guns themselves, but I heard the local gun shops/ranges keep selling out of ammo. Gotta love Texas. Yee-haw!

  18. Patrick Stewart on Star Trek: Picard: $750k per episode…….

    What a waste of money

    • Puke inducing . Hadn’t realised the cunt was paid that much! VFM ? Like fuck.

    • Bet Patrick likes a tribble up his harris.
      Phasers on stun only.
      Has klingons round his arse.

  19. Star Trek in all incarnations is a crock of shit ! ( and always will be so )

    But the point is, there are no new themes and no new programmes. Everything is modelled on something old and contxtually updated to meet the present cock sucking criteria.

    Fuck the moron mirror.

    • Star Trek was always ahead of its time. Watching Kirk when it was made would have been good, Star Trek pushed boundaries, and said ‘look, idiots of the world, this is what can happen if you work together. Even Picard said ‘the acquisition of wealth is no longer our driving force, we work to better ourselves’.

  20. The original Star Trek was the best – Kirk beats the sh*t out of an alien, makes the planet stop conflict and become peaceful (so to speak!) then f*cks the sh*t out of any alien Woman standing still long enough for him to get his girdle off – top boy and a series well ahead of it’s time – how many other TV programmes featured Woman and ethnic minorities in major roles in the sixties? (And without feeling the need to shout the fact to the f*cking World).
    The rest? Utter shite, apart from the jolly pleasant counsellor Troi – as B&WC would say “laaaarvly”! 😀

  21. Off topic,
    Who’s got Phil the greek in the dead pool?
    you heard it hear first?

    • Why George?
      Coronavirus runs rampant through the saxe coburg house!
      Sparkle the sole (soul?)survivor!
      ☺

      • Hearing from a very good source the auld racist cunt has shook a seven MNC
        not from Batchowmeinflu though

  22. Like Dr Who, Star Wars and any manner of superhero shit I couldn’t give a fuck. I see what they do with everything so this is no surprise.
    Should they ‘woke’ up 2001 Space Odyssey or Alien, Then I would give a fuck.

    • Don’t go putting ideas in their head.
      Alien- black, lost in space trying to get to a safe world, whitey tries to kill him.
      In space no one can hear your asylum case..

  23. Excellent nomination, Quick Draw McGraw.
    When i heard a new series was coming I got excited and signed up to Amazon Prime just so I could watch Star Trek Picard.
    I stopped watching after episode 3.
    In my opinion it is absolutely NOT Star Trek. Swear words, graphic violence, gore. No. Just no.

    This is not thoughtful, inspiring, family entertainment.

    With this new show, the Picard of old is no more.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jph2qWXJ-Tk

    At least I have the TNG DVD boxset to watch and novels to read.
    I recommend ‘Q-In-Law’ by Peter David. It’s hilarious.

    Star Trek Picard is NOT Star Trek.

  24. Star Trek – ruined by social justice 2020
    Dr. Who – ruined by social justice 2018-2020
    Star Wars – ruined by social justice 2017-2019
    Terminator – ruined by social justice 2019
    Marvel – ruined by social justice for years

    Just trying to think of what sci-fi bastions remain unsullied by the Twitter blue checkmark deviant shitcunts.

    If they take Red Dwarf, I’m going completely postal.

    • Agreed Empire – any f*cking around with Red Dwarf and I will be getting out the red van, black and white cat and my largest snowflake persuader!
      Kirk – legend
      Picard – b*tch!

      • They should re-make Blake’s Seven. Instead of that female~Errol Brown~lookalike baddie it should be a white, male against a team of argumentative, querulous women who land on planets similar to Earth which all have plastic, wobbly, BBC-like walls.

        They could all live on a spaceship called The Lesbinator.

  25. The Wrath of Khan was well before its time. Who would have guessed in 1982 ? Only now London seems like another planet run by a dirty stinky tyrant.

  26. I’ve heard a rumour that Phil The Greek carked it over the weekend and that the news hasn’t been released yet.

  27. The show is actually an allegory about Patrick Stewart being a thick EU loving CUNT who did a video claiming the right to a fair trial came from the ECHR who we also have to thank for making torture illegal. As I say, an utter arsehole.

  28. Listen up, Cunters.Eurovision is off!

    That is it: I am now going to end it all.

    • I hope its off forever, its a farce. Tactical voting, and people who dont even sing. Pathetic.

  29. Patrick Stewart should wear a mauve turtle neck top. His head would then really resemble a giant bellend.

    I can’t stand the great big fucking Jessie. If the EU is so great, the bald cunt could fuck off to France, Germany or any of the 27 member states. His glans-like
    cranium would be more than welcome in Luxembourg, Lithuania or Sweden. He can then bellyache as much as he likes, from a distance, about Brexit and Trump.

    Oh, just piss off.

    • Captain Slaphead (a lifetime socialist no less) obviously prefers the good old USA, because that’s where all the money is.
      I can recommend the 1980s scifi/horror film “Lifeforce” if you want to see Stewart debase himself in hilarious fashion…

      • Lifeforce is great fun and also features a lovely lady wandering about naked for most of it. Mathilda May. When Googling her remember to add the word “nude”..

      • Based on Colin Wilson’s novel “The Space Vampires”
        Although I always thought a better title would have been “Quatermass and the Tits” 😀😀😀

  30. On another note, aside from Corona virus, has prince Phillip shuffled off his mortal coil? Twitter is beating distant drums..if the Greek has rolled over farted and and got hard, ( the only thing he has done in the last 60 years) ,
    Anyone got him on Deadpool?

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