Royal Weddings

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Beatrice the Contessa is marrying into a family much posher than her own: Princess, 31, will gain an Italian title and a palazzo. Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi are set to tie the knot this Spring:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8060603/How-Beatrice-Contessa-marrying-family-posher-own.html

And who will pick up the tab for this extravaganza? The ungrateful Prince “I know nuffink abaaaaaaht it” Andrew, or the incredibly rich family she is marrying into?

Nope, a very generous contribution will be made by you’ve guessed it, none other than the increasingly-hacked-off with the Royal Family, Great British taxpayer.

Fuck off.

Nominated by Willie stroker

76 thoughts on “Royal Weddings”

  1. I can see it now – Eddie in the dress, Meghan in the tree, Ginge anywhere Meghan tells him to be, big Phil taking potshots at Meghan from his bath chair assuming she had escaped from a fuzzy wuzzy hunt, fat Andy chasing the teenage bridesmaids about, Camilla falling about ar*eholed then mischievously entered in the Grand National by some naughty servants – quality!
    And I don’t mind her marrying into money, having a great day and living happily after (well, let’s face it – she ain’t gonna get rich relying on her vast intellect or work ethic!) – but I do vehemently object to paying for it!
    Good nom WS, good British common sense Sir!

  2. Im your wicked uncle Andy and you won’t see or hear me, as i fiddle about,
    Fiddle about, Fiddle about,.. Sang some 60s beat combo drug addicts.
    Up with the bedclothes off with your nightshirt sang a 60s uk prince,
    Welcome to the family.

  3. We hear from the taxpayers alliance sometimes on these issues but we need something with more clout. Like a Taxpayers Union where we vote on things to cancel spending on, and if the government ignores us we all strike for a period of time. First thing to go is foreign fucking aid! Then this fucking wedding.

  4. If I wanted to contribute to a lazy,benefit-sponging.ugly Munter getting married,she’d be a perfect candidate….but I don’t,so she can Fuck Off.
    Hopefully Coronavirus’ll get the bunch of them.

  5. So they finally managed to marry her off did they. The dowry must have been huge for that pear shaped, buck toothed ginger cunt. Mind you I bet the old man’s ploughed it, and taught her a thing or two (whilst she was wearing swaddling clothes of course),far too old now. Inbred fucking German cunts the lot of em.

  6. Im confused, how can you be posher than the British royal family?
    Im no royalist but by gosh theyre posh!
    Fuckin italians?
    What are they pasta barons or ice cream magnates?
    No way these pizza fondlers are posher.
    But welcome to this pug eyed, beaver toothed inbred parasite.

      • We had a neighbour (2 doors down) Miserable with of all names Smith. Yes Mrs Smith. Telling us in the backyard to ‘talk proper’. Not averse to using the word ‘common’ about people. The problem was her husband (a drunkered who even sober was as rough as a bear’s arse) and her son a skinhead. And hooligan. But she rose above all this did Mrs Smith. I can see her now in the backyard putting out her wash. So posh. You grow up with anyone like that?

      • A bit like that yes Miles.
        We had ‘ I told em Oldham’ next door.
        She was someone who spoke bad about everyone, was a advert in 70s ‘i told em Oldham’
        My dad called her it☺
        Her husband used to piss away all the housekeeping an chase other women but to hear her talk he was a captain of industry!
        She used to judge everyone as a wrong un,
        An talked as though She was wealthy, but hid from the rent collector!😁

    • My mum considered the Royal Family beneath her. Reckoned the Queen was decidedly lower-middle class in her taste and dress sense.

      • Heehee! ” look at the state of her! Mutton dressed as lamb!
        That dress is from oxfam!”☺

      • Made me laugh that Rtc never heard of anyone thinking the Queens common! ☺
        Good job you didnt do the Duke of Edinburgh award,
        “Come away from them Hector theyre not our type!”

      • Victor Lewis-Smith opined that the mother of violinist Ken Neddy sounded so posh that she made HM Queen sound like a dozy slapper.

        Very few of the royals are posh; the problem is inbreeding rather than “breeding.”

  7. Paying for Royals, & fucking aristocrats to have a good time is, I’m afraid, something that the British have brought upon themselves. After perusing 148 posts of anti – French sentiment, not one mention of the one good thing the Frogs did. That is to have cut off the heads of the cunts.

  8. So tired of the damned Royal Family. The Queen is great, but I am thoroughly sick of hearing about the the rest of ’em and their fuckery. Anne is ok….William and Kate are ok, but the rest are a bunch of useless arseholes.

    Beatrice is getting married. Congrats. NOW PAY FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING NUPTIALS!!

    (And let’s hope her head attire is nothing akin to the fucking monstrosity of a giant Curly Wurly that she wore to Will and Kate’s do. Just saying.)

    • Queen? Sound, does a good job with more than a touch of class.
      Big Phil? Good Man, loyal Husband.
      The rest of them? Get a job!

      • Yeah. Phil’s not bad for a first generation immigrant.

        Can’t say the same about the second and third generations.

        Offscourings.

      • Queen? Ok in 70s, then that goofy foreigner died,
        Never the same again!
        Who wants to live forever?

  9. The crown should ditch every cunt who isn’t in direct line. Monarchy constrained by a parliament delivers all the best places on earth to live bar the US where George III has been in office since 1776. It’s not a popularity contest.

  10. off topic, but can anyone explain to me why the locals are wearing surgical gloves today?
    This seems to be a new fashion in the coffin dodging community

  11. Harvey Weinstain just got 23 fucking years. I can’t imagine why Andrew doesn’t want to go and have a chat with the yanks, they seem so fair and measured.

  12. Fucking leach cunts. Why do we put up with their shit? Playtimes over you fucking bastards and we will hang every last one of you.

  13. Maybe there’ll be lots of Corona at the WOP’s wedding…

    Just a thought me cunters….

    • A republican could do a lot of good with a garden spray and a patient’s snot. Just saying.

  16. “Women always turn out like their mothers, that’s their tragedy” said Oscar Wilde. I wonder whether this pizza-scoffer has met Bestrice’s.

    “Mamma Mia, whadda-da fuck issa that? Santa Lucia, let’s a-go truffle hunting, pronto!

      • Sadly, the muchess is beginning to resemble one of those really greasy, fat salamis.
        Shame, as I’d have fucked her quite happily, decades ago, before she went badly wrong.
        Bet her knickers resemble a load of colcannon…

  17. Spaghetti hoops for 150 people.
    Sat next to Luigi or Mario,
    Phil talking to the godfather testing the water for a ‘accident’ to sparkle.
    Be lovely.

  18. Andys unfortunate looking offspring are so boring, even the gutter tabloids show no interest in them. I have even less.

  20. Haha the Italians will never be posher than our Royals. That said I resent my taxes being splurged on this horsey faced tart and her Mussolini boyfriend’s wedding. I’ve financed these spongers enough. Just elope you cow and get hitched in China. The virus will do the rest .
    Blood suckers.

    • Evening Jack!
      Ok for hand gel?
      ☺
      Coronavirus an royal weddings, not the brave new world i was hoping for after brexit,
      I pictured myself feeding the birds at the village duckpond churchbells ringing, kids playing stick an hoop running past,
      “Morning mr Miserable!”
      “Hello you young scamps!”
      Nowts happened yet!
      I demand to speak to a lawyer!

      • That all sounds hideously white Miserable. Not even a “hello” for the county lines gangster as he passes through to groom another local teen.

      • Its my dream of olde England reborn LL.
        Like the Jethro Tull song im happier living in the past.
        If theres one thing id like more than winning the lottery its to hear the phrase “hey does anyone remember pakis?”

      • Good evening MNC. It’s funny you should mention that. I was in town this afternoon and called in a shop as I’d noticed we were running low on hand gel, no joy, sold out, tried another, no joy, gave up and fucked off. Hoarding, panic buying Cunts.
        Get To Fuck.

      • Panic easy dont they?
        Got a jar of swarfega you can have.
        Honestly shocked to see people panic buying.
        Medias spooking them but christ, modern people are mard.

      • As the outer shell of Corbyn-19 is fatty, hot water and ordinary detergent will work fine… it’s really the water and washing that helps.
        What they conveniently forget to tell you, partic if you’re trying to do this in a public bog, is the tap and doorhandle contamination problem, not to mention those pontzi, expensive, airblade hand-driers, where it’s almost impossible to dry without touching a communal object.
        As far as communal objects go, the government have now issued a warning to stay clear of Katie Price, to avoid cuntamination.

      • The manufacturers of these gels and sanitisers must be rubbing their hands together….

  23. It’s about time the taxpayer had a say in the great british spending spree – the govermint has always assumed that our money is theirs – well, it ain’t so these can fuck off – got a wonderfully arrogant and patronising reply to a letter from my MP – he talks of acting within the law and and not being criminal – well the govermint acts as if there are no laws – they’re just for little people – but i’m fucking sick of them misspending my money so who’s the criminal? – they are – fuck off the lot of them – cunts!!!

  24. 🎶
    I was very let down from the budget
    I was expecting a one million quid handout
    I was very disappointed
    It was the government’s fault
    It was the fault of the government
    I became a semi-autistic type person
    And I didn’t have a pen, and I didn’t have a condom
    It was the fault of the government
    I think I’ll emigrate to Sweden or Poland
    And get looked after properly by a government 🎶

    (Mark E. Smith, R.I.P.)

    • Nice one Ruff!👍
      Loved Mark an the everchanging FALL.
      Did the best interviews ever back in the day.
      Argumentative, surly, childish, tyrannical…
      All traits i admire an aspire too!😁
      RIP Mark E Smith indeed

  25. Arrogant, entitled, greedy….

    It won’t take much more pissing on the public for the minor royals to erase the mystique and deference which have kept them on the fat of the land for so long. Then I shall be booking a good seat near the guillotine. That’s the one thing the Frogs got right.

    • See if you can get a discount for a group booking Komodo?
      ISAC day out!!
      We could take a picnic!
      Beaming little faces splattered with blood, popcorn an a singsong.

      • The Fox handing out beef and beer, along with a few rotten tomatoes for the hurling!
        Boo! Hiss! Take that you powdered bewigged buggers!

      • I splattered all over the wife’s face and hair last night teaching her the correct pronunciation of Llanelli….

  26. what about those demented fuckers Sid and Doris Bonkers who actually camp out overnight to get a good view? what the fuck is going on their feeble brains?

  27. I been watching The Windsors recently, so many accuracies in that series.

    Beatrice and Eugene or whatever they’re called are a bit far removed from core Royals to be paid for. The Duchy of Cornwall is rich enough to pay for it all, just sell some more shortbread biscuits in tins for £30 a go. Prince Charles bought a million (or more) acres in Romania what-the-fuck. I’d have liked to have done that myself.

    Randy Andy Pandy the Absolute Cunt needs to be shipped off to the gold old USA to face the same judge jury and firing squad as Weinstein (23 years). I would laugh for a week if Randy Andy Pandy got found guilty of shagging underage birds. His behavior is well known he’s just not brought to account for it. If he’d done it in the right or wrong middle Eastern country he could have had 1,000 lashes and beheaded, fine sport.

    • Charlie-Boy should go into biz with NCP; tarmac over Romania (shithole), and use it as a car park for rest of E Europe.

      Andy is a total knobhead; he just hasn’t quite twigged that all the dodgy cunts he associates with are about as damning as “No comment” chez plod.

  28. Kid from broken home comes good. Warms me heart it does. Having grown up with a father like Andy who’s been kicked out of the family concern and Sarah ‘Massey’ Ferguson, the big red and bovine mother, Beatrice reaches for the stars and outdoes her kin. Her cousins married a nigh on commoner and a troublesome dame from over the Atlantic, Beatrice kept her eyes on the prize and strengthens the family empire.

    I’d say she’s suitable for the top job when her grandma checks out or retires.

  29. I can only hope one of them goes Nepalese at the reception and takes out a few luvvies as well.

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