Lock down UK

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So we have been expecting this for some time to curve the spike.

So Cunter’s, what are you up to? what are your secrets to isolation and are you the fabled bog roll hoarders.

Please comment below.

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213 thoughts on “Lock down UK”

  1. I have just done a 500 mile round trip to Scotland 15hr shift including a 10 hr drive

    More of the same tomorrow probably
    Glad I have a week’s supply of food in my truck

    Chinky CUNTS get2fuck

  2. Had to be done because scores of mongs and utter cunts in this country can’t behave… All those fucks who gathered in parks and holiday spots this last weekend should have been fucking bombed from the air… They would not be missed, no loss at all…

    Hope all fellow cunters are safe and sorted for everything they need, and supermarket stockpilers must hang…

    • They had a bit on the news about peacefuls dropping off food essentials on the doorsteps of vulnerable people as a PR exercise, but now because of this lockdown and schools closing, even the grooming gangs have time on their hands.

  3. Hi, I got 3 months worth of bongo mags and 4 large boxes of men’s tissues, and lots of poppers and vodka…ahem….oh look…over there…

  4. 2 bottles of mount gay (mount a poofter) rum and 1 bottle of Goslings finest demerera. Oh, and 6 lemons to prevent the scurvy. Then I’m going to plot an assault on my neighbours son who’s been nipping out to smoke and share weed with his equally unemployed, fundamentally useless shitcunt mates. If he dies that tonight I’ll be in proper isolation tomorrow and he’ll be in a ditch.
    The millenial cunt.
    The drink is working very nicely right now, thank you for asking.
    Oh and…..
    Little yellow bastards.

  6. Tesco are daft cunts. They opened the local store at 08:30am yesterday morning for NHS workers only. What the cunts didn’t think about was the volume of NHS workers swarming there, what with the NHS being the UK’s largest employer and all that. But the biggest brain fart was the fact that Sunday trading laws didn’t allow anyone to actually buy anything until 10am.

    The result? A store gridlocked with potential COVID19 carriers spreading the virus to thousands of other staff, trapped and not able to move. Luckily, after getting through the door and quickly assessing the situation, I turned around and fucked off. It just wasn’t worth it. Incredibly the daft cunts stood in there, cheek to jowel, waiting for the checkouts to open.

    Tesco, you are utter fucking fuckwitted cuntoids. You are also cunts for putting up the prices of everything. A small basket of essentials tonight weighed in at over 50 notes. Wankers.

    • Fucking priceless.
      They say that they’re putting up prices to deter hoarders. Very socially minded I’d say; of course a bit of profiteering never hurts them either.

  7. Evening Adminers (is that a word??).
    Stay cool guys, and good luck to all out in IsAC country.

    Regards

    Ron

  8. I have my vesel “The Black Pig” in dry dock at the moment, I am stripping out the plane I got from Great Uncle Howard, “The Spruce Goose” – I need all non essentials out so I can fit in the amount of ordnance I am going to drop on China.
    Said sneaky little b*stards currently using Government money to buy up every falling business and industry in the west, just by coincidence.
    Heads down China – the Fox is coming!

  9. I’ll be carry on being a carer for my wife coz there’s fuck all help out there despite what the government are saying.
    Cunts.

  10. Well, I have been retired for nine years and I am an anti social cunt as some of you may have surmised. Polishing the Guzzi and ham radio will be on the agenda plus some research on ORP Blyskawica. My dad helped build the ship in the 1930s and always spoke fondly of her.

    • So ….. what model Guzzi will you be polishing. I spent a couple of years at the factory in Mandello in a previous life.

      Fond memories.

      • 2005 Cali Evo. Bought it used with 128 miles on the clock and have cherished it ever since.

      • That was the problem with Guzzi : Owners wanted the bike they already had instead of buying a new one every 5 years. Great brand loyalty — but not so good for sales.

  11. I’m going to learn to play the piano I bought before Christmas. Once this is all over I’ll be just like Liberace – hopefully without the flamboyance and the gayness.
    I will also be watching a lot of porn.

  12. This town is coming like a ghost town, too much coughing on the dance floor.
    Ill get me coat…

  14. It is reported that three men in a black BMW, have stolen 8 cylinders of oxygen and nitrous oxide from a hospital in Manchester.
    This kind of activity needs nipping in the bud, before mayhem breaks out. It’s time to open up every police station 24 / 7, and have armed troops in them, alongside police officers, carrying out patrols, and with authority to shoot looters and rioters.
    Hospitals and other facilities should be provided with an armed presence.
    The time for pussyfooting has gone.
    I look forward to local radio news reporting a horrific car explosion, following a collision with a Transit van full of Pikeys.
    Get To Fuck.

  15. I give zero fucks about this lockdown. I am an anti-social cunt anyway and spend most of my day up in my room on my laptop, listing and selling my shit on ebay to make a living and avoiding human contact at all costs, bar my parents and sister, when she rolls up.

    I don’t like people. Give me my cat Del Boy over those tossers any day of the week.

    I am very confused by BoJo’s broadcast, Is this lockdown LAW now?? It sure doesn’t sound like it. What the actual fuck is he on about, still letting these mindless cunts out for ‘one period of exercise daily’??? As if these cunts are going to abide by this. if you are STILL telling people they can go out for a wander and roam, they are going to continue to take the piss here if nobody is policing this supposed ‘one period’. How is anyone in authority going to know that they have had just ONE exercise period and are not doing it multiple times or for extended periods….like all fucking day long?? Why is he still wishy-washy about this and kowtowing to these cunts??

    It should be a case of staying at home except NOTHING ELSE but to go and get food and provisions. END OF.

    I despair actually. This shitstorm is never going to end if someone doesn’t get really tough on these irresponsible cockwombles.

    • Couldn’t agree more, Nurse… Shooting some of the thoughtless cunts would be a start… Panic buying at McDonald’s?! What else needs to be said?…

      • They are prolonging this shit for all of us, Norman. It is incredible just how thick and selfish these cunts are.

        Just taser the fuckers, chuck them in a big, fuck-off Police van and throw them back home.

      • Sharpening my pungi sticks, & getting the cheese wire & crowbar ready for any cunt who chances his luck to break in to steal my bog roll & pot noodle.

        Didn’t have time to stock up on battery acid for the sprayer.

        Has anyone else noticed the Jehova’s witnesses have evaporated ? Haven’t seen one this year…

      • Well spotted L o t R. Although I have been reliably been informed not to open any e mails with the subject of “Ding_Dong” Apparently the Jehovahs are working from home now.

    • These are the same cunts when told not to stick their heads in a Lions mouth would do it anyway. Thick, selfish cunts.
      Trouble is they will have an effect on others. At least with the Lion it would be them giving a good meal to said Lion without causing the general public a problem.

      • Have you got your stockpile of Chocolate Buttons Nurse Cunty? Alas, I am not allowed them. Mrs P forbade them and I have to do with cheap chocolate biscuits. But it’s not the same ‘chocolate fix’. O woe is me!

      • Evening Miles!

        Ahhh, you know me so well……I have ordered up a shitload of them from Tesco, to be delivered on Wednesday with our usual shop, but every day when I check the order online, another item is removed as ‘out of stock’.

        If they dare remove the choccy buttons, there will be hell to pay. Tesco – you have been warned, you tossers!

        Oh no…no choccy buttons?!! That is just cruel, especially in times like these when a proper fix of chocolate is required. Can you not sneak some in?

      • Messed up with the money Nurse so I am being punished. We are ordering a box delivery Fri but I daren’t ask her if it includes choccy. I am worried.

      • Well I’m chuffed to fuck with the return of “Old Jamaicee” rum ‘n raisin choc bars. Been looking and occasionally asking shop owners if they’d heard of them for years and then a month or so back there they were on the shelf! 😎 ‘kin ace! A “Bar 6” would go down a treat as well.

  16. I don’t like the idea of effectively being under house arrest but the way these stupid cunts were behaving over the weekend it is absolutely the right thing to do.
    Not sure it’s going to stop much for the panic buying at the supermarket though. We’re going to give it a few days to see how it pans out before we need to go food shopping.

    Got a couple of friends in the States in the same boat and just heard from a friend in South Africa that they’re going on lock down for 21 days starting Thursday.

    Meanwhile have you heard about the Covid Challenge that sweeping social media? It’s like that fucking stupid ice bucket challenge except that it entails deliberately infecting yourself by going around licking things and posting it on Farcebook.
    These fucking cunts don’t deserve to survive..

    • Covid Challenge has been variously remarked upon in these very pages. Also nominated by a couple of cunters.

  17. This curfew will never work in Londonistan. Or other major cities and urban areas. I give it a week before the effniks have sacked the Westfield shopping centre in Stratford.

    • Was just wondering when the riots, looting, military coups etc would start in Africa, South America and the subcontinent. Now realise that Londonistan will be the epicentre of worldwide gimmedat unrest leading to the complete breakdown of civilisation, and the extinction of humanity. Fuck it, had a decent innings. 3 days with no beer changes your views on things, now believe the pubs should reopen and the elderly can stay indoors if they don’t want to catch it. We’re going to have a Coronavirus party in the village when one of us gets afflicted, some of us will die but better to go with boots on at the bar than cowering behind the sofa in comfy slippers. Seriously cunters, how long are you willing to sit at home bored and getting nagged for? One month? Six? Virus isn’t going to go away in summer, and neither are we unless we man up quick and tell Boris to come up with a plan that has some sort of objective.
      In the sweepstakes I have Thursday 6pm for UK hitting 10,000 cases. Should be close.

  18. Interesting to see that London is the major cause of all this bollocks. The hoarding, lack of community spirit, going out with mates, going to raves = Italy levels soon.

    I wonder why this is the case? The mind fucking boggles, doesn’t it?

    Containment is needed. Nobody in or out of the capital. Because it’s getting so bad in London people are escaping to go to relatives elsewhere in the country.

    We are fucked because we won’t get tough. Yes, we live in a tolerant, liberal society not a police state, but these are extraordinary times needing extraordinary measures.

    If we we’re too scared to put ideals on hold for now, then many can say goodbye to grandma and grandad.

    So what’s it going to be?

    Cordon off Londonistab!

    • One good thing might come out of this…
      Let us hope this is the beginning of the end for Saddam Suckdick Khan…

  19. Hmm, so if you’re out on the street who is going to pull you up?

    Does this mean the coppers are going to actually get off their arses? As far as I can make out they’ve been on lock down for years.

    • We need our dedicated coppers – those thoughts won’t Police themselves, and hate crime is always just one false accusation away.
      Vigilance against evil whitey is our only hope! 😄

  20. Britain doesn’t know how to do a proper lockdown. It goes against our natural freedom to do that.
    They’re not going to have bobbies on every street stopping every cunt that goes out the house. A proper Ching-Chong lockdown would involve police borders and not being able to leave your town etc.
    Mrs Pillar is in hysterics about the whole fucking thing.

  21. Who would of imagined that doing fuck all except lying around watching TV and wanking to internet porn was going to save the human race….

    In truth I’m already bored to fuck and wish I had a Corby trouser press so I could dismantle it….

      • Strangely enough I just called her to ask if the porn channel was disabled? She said ‘No, it’s able bodied, you sick cunt!’ This country!!

  22. And the London Underground driver who went back to work after returning from Vietnam and contaminated the whole of the fucking Tube?!!…

    Yeah…. That cunt….

    • Patient zero these cunts are usually called. In this case, brain cells. Hope he has ‘underlying health issues’.

  24. i can’t see this lockdown making the slightest difference. if you are stopped by the police all you have to say is you are out for one of the allowed reasons .

    • I have arthritis which, according to GP, requires “gentle exercise”, my digs are in a wonky old Victorian terrace with VERY creaky floors, so I WON’T be watching some wanky hipster’s “physical jerks” video, and I won’t be bouncing up and down on the floors, as I’d demolish the feckin place. However, walking up Newport Rd to the supermarkets is NOT exactly “scenic”, and I really don’t expect to bump into anybody, unless it’s an Army convoy, or, hopefully, a load of mounted WPOs. It seems the pet shops have a reprieve, too, so I can visit the rabbits, which I didn’t have time for today. As for starting work on April 6th…pfffft. Can’t see that happening, but there again, it’s Civil Service, so there’s no telling. Can but hope I’d be put on to something useful, like paying self-employed their 80% averaged over past 3 years earnings.
      Listening to loads of music on YouTube, studiously avoiding the bloody awful Ode to Joy at all costs. Reading, tea and biscuits…
      One day, we’ll all look back on this, and think…what a bloody bore it was.

  25. And celebricunts ‘self isolating’ and fucking filming it?!

    Madogga… To be expected from that attention seeking reeking of kippers old prostitute…

    Romelu Lukaku… He’s better at that than he is in front of goal… The useless fat cunt…

    • Celebs are fucking hating this. Not because if the dangers, but because they aren’t getting much attention.

      Stephen Fry giving anxiety advice? Well, easy to compare the stress levels when you’re a fucking multi-millionaire, isn’t it, you daft cunt?

      I’m sure he is stressed. But it’s not like he’s going to lose everything as well as worrying like fuck about his family, is it?

      • Stephen Fry giving ‘anxiety advice’?

        The same Stephen Fry who has exhibited multiple snowflake social media flouncings over a few hurty words?

        About as useful as advice from Harvey Weinstein on dating etiquette.

      • I saw the picture of Stephen Fry and thought that the cunt looks very old and frankly none too healthy. I may have to put in in my Deadpool group.

      • Perhaps Fry’s young lover has refused to hand over the keys to his back door for the duration.

    • Yes and celebrity megacunts filming themselves singing ‘Imagine’.
      ‘imagine all the people sharing all the world…’.
      Just like you’re all doing.

    • Why omit Japan? Haven’t you seen Bridge on the river Kwai? We’re in a Chink eat dog situation here, no time to get all soft and forgiving.

      • Same here! My Uncle suffered appalling treatment and terrible conditions at the hands of the Japanese, for over 5 years! He worked at the Nissan plant in Sunderland!

      • Aint river Kwai in Thailand in a remote area with no Bar girls to plow with drink and fuck 3 in a bed with?

    • I cannot imagine much meat on ‘breast of bat’ or ‘leg of bat’ for that matter. I know the wings are gossamer see-through from watching David Attenborough so no meat there either. They must eat ten or twenty of them at a time to make a substantial meal.

      I was going to say a ‘wholesome’ meal but it is certainly not wholesome.

  28. Any cunt who purposely ignores these curfews and passes on the chinki bat flu should be nicked and charged with murder… Cunts…

    • Dirty little diseased, barbaric Chinese cuntfucks.

      I notice they are all making a point of masking up in London, more so than any other demographic. There’s some reverse psychology right there.

      A lovely fantasy would be the rest of the world uniting to bomb the living fuck out of China. They should, because the filthy cunts are the biggest threat to the world by far.

  29. I would expect real disorder if this lasts more than 3 weeks. And the police will not, in any capacity, be able to manage.

    Still, perhaps now the rozzers are too preoccupied to arrest/warn people for misgendering trannies.

  30. For viewers in Scotland:
    Boris didn’t use the word lockdown, but Wee Nicola Sturgeon did.

    The Chief Medical Officer Catherine Calderwood was standing like a stuffed dummy during the broadcast. I don’t know if I like her. I wouldn’t want her to be my doctor standing there smoking her pipe like a transvestite dominatrix.

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