Joe Swash (2)

A nomination is for this oxygen thief that hasn’t been nominated on here for 8 years …. 8 years, FFS! We’ve surely been missing a massive opportunity here!

He’s probably about to win that poncy “Dancing on Ice” farce on ITV, only because of his fan base from “EastBenders”, etc, etc, rather than his skating prowess. How the fuck do TV producers continue to pay this irritating, talentless, ginger twat to appear on prime time TV, really beats me.

Used to quite like the bint he shacked up with too, even though she too was from the County of Essex, from where lots of folk now seem to think they have a right to celebrity status for doing fuck all!

Nominated by knobrot

63 thoughts on “Joe Swash (2)

  1. He is the thinking woman’s Joey Essex. What really pisses me off about this creature is that he is forever getting on the front page of the newspapers, simply because of the old trollop he lives with, Stacey Solomon, who has become a sort of “celebrity” (all be it Z list) mum. You should feel sorry for the little cunt because he has no talent, and by the look of that tart, no sight and no taste.

    • A talentless cunt who got lucky cause his mum had contacts (cuntacts?). He wouldn’t have made it otherwise.
      You’re right, this cunt makes things even worse by being married to another talentless individual, Stacey Chanelle Solomon.
      Chanelle? Who the fuck gives their child a name like that?! Cunts the both of them!

    • I wonder if the offspring will inherit their parents talents? Let’s hope not
      Where’s bubble from BB2 when you need him?
      I fucking loathe reality TV cunts , their actual reality is they are all talentless gobshite cunts who have out stayed their 15 minutes of fame , this crime to television programming has been enabled by a tsunami of gormless turds who would watch the opening of an envelope if they thought joey Essex was going to pop out of it ….

  2. Proper cunt Joe is , i was only slagging him off the other day when the missus had dancing on ice on . I was praying the cunt would fall over and smash his face in and wipe that stupid fucking grin off his face.

  3. Ts he a real person? I thought that he was the ginger “Joey Deacon-for-our-times” creation of some comedian?

    • Dick me old china I’ve been listening to your gib for a while and quite frankly…….your often on the money! He’s special in a ‘joey deacon’ sort of way for sure. Keep sharing your cunting insights highly amusing and all too often enlightening. As the great bill hicks once said you spread you gotta try

  4. This grinning nobody should fuck off. If it wasn’t for the sidebar of shame I would have no idea who he is, as I never watch any of the shit he is likely to be in. Soaps and reality TV are for mouth breathers, cheap thought free nonsense that serves to remind the viewers how boring and inconsequential their lives are. Get fucked.

  5. Swash? Sounds like a brand of mouthwash or some American home anal douching kit.

    Apparently he has had three hair transplants, the third one using pubic hairs donated by Stacey Solomon.

    • Think hes got a touch of downs hasnt he?
      Hes cockney as fuck, i cant understand him.
      Seems cruel to have him infront of tv cameras,
      He should be in some sort of home.

  6. Nowadays, celebrity cult and culture, the large majority of them have zero discernible talents etc. Reality TV has exacerbated. I don’t watch any of that shit.

    E.g. Amanda Holden, what skill or talent has she got? None. She is fuckable and that’s her only talent.

    Same for Stacey Solomon, there is no point to her, although she is worth a Bang.

    The male nonentities like Swash, yes as the original poster, literal oxygen thieves. Before TV celebs Swash would have been working as a rag and bone mans assistant, walking the streets 60 hours a week pickup up horse shit.

    At least with the good looking wimminz you can ponder about screwing them, but the men ought to be flung off the white cliffs of Dover en masse.

    • Amanda Holden would definitely get it…as for Stacey I’d only shoot my load over her face if I was in a good mood.
      PS I know a place in Wales where you had a Parliament house.

  7. Just watching the news, I don’t know why it’s just more bollocks on top of more bollocks.

    Footballers not shaking hands before the start of the game then at the end they are shaking hands and hugging, maybe they think after a good hard game it’s fine.
    Matt Hancock lining up 3 million volunteers to help in the event of covid 19 going ‘viral’, that will make sure it does for sure.

    Best thing the government can do is shut down the fucking media!

    • Agreed sick of it.
      I am literally sick of the hype and scaremongering the media are pushing on us regarding Coronavirus.
      It seems they love a scare story.
      I wonder how many normal flu has killed this winter worldwide? A lot more than Coronavirus I bet.
      What a load of cunts.

      • Just had a look at the latest…..

        Mirror online ‘UK cases Soar to 273’

        What cunts, all it means is that out of the 23000 + tested, a number of results have come back today, it’s not a sudden jump.
        Wankers!

  8. There’s probably a thousand Cockney geezers in London that could do what Swash does except their mum’s ain’t friends with Linda -maffawmighty-Robson. This ‘cheeky chappie’ persona is not hard to portray.

    By the way, since this nom was written ol’ Joseph has been taken into hospital for a second time because his dancing on ice partner kicked him inny ear’ole with her ice skate. Pity she didn’t kick him inna norfansaaff so his maaaf looks like the Blackwaww Tannaow.
    (Blackwell Tunnel to you and I)
    Chimp face cunt.

  9. His Missus used to go out with that fucking animal Stevo from Jackass. Tee hee hee – doing her arsehole after that cunt’s had his way with her must be like chucking a fucking Woodbine up Royal Parade. Cunt!

    • According to Mrs Boggs Rylan Poof Clark Neal has dragged back Ready Steady Cook on television every afternoon. I suppose they don’t have enough cookery and antique shows already?

      • maybe someone coulddo some proper investigative journalism and get the fuck on rylan – what sort of name is that – sounds like an office supplies company – fuck of rylan you cunt!

      • His real name is Richard Ross Clark. Hypenated surname is because he got married to another arse bandit. Check out this entry from Wiki:

        “During his early modelling career he adopted the stage name “Rylan”. He went into a branch of WHSmith and pulled out the name “Rylan” from the R section of a baby name book”.

        What a complete and utter total cunt!!

  10. I think I saw this clown on the telly some years back.
    I took him for a right cunt then.
    Turns out I was right.
    Get to fuck.

  11. Looks like a cunt, talks like a cunt and even acts like a cunt so we can be left in no doubt he is a cunt.

    Being an annoying cunt is a career option in the age of endless media and this cunt is a leading celebricunt. Most depressing of all is that these cunts depend on a legion of celebrity worshippers to enable them to flourish.

    The race to the bottom is on and we can’t be far from hitting the floor.

  12. I think they should remake ‘minder’ with Joe as the Terry character, and let him sing the theme tune!
    Gor blimey stace.

    • Tits oot for the lads!
      Nice one stinky rebellion!👍
      An you lot slag em off.

    • Ffs..I have seen something that can’t be unseen, what a bunch of ugly munters, why didn’t they get Victoria secret models instead? And what the fuck has any of this tree hugging crap got to do with violence against women?

    • He couldn’t afford mouthwash as he spent all his money on teeth bleach.

    • Iv’e done 3 week without alcohol and i was doing really well until i read your comment about fancying Joe and now iv’e just sunk nearly a full bottle of wine .

  13. He reminds me of that rat faced cunt Dean Gaffney.

    He went out with Kara Tointon years ago.

    I am infatuated with both Tointon sisters and would enjoy a role play type scenario with them dressed as sexy secretaries. To think that Ginger bollocks here has had his grubby paws on one of them makes me sad and a little bit angry.

    • Its a disgrace HS…I quite like the Tointon Sisters too. Do you reckon she still has a ginger pube in between teeth?

      • Hopefully she flosses regularly B&WC and has long since removed any trace of ginger Joe.

        He’s not even a proper a ginger. He’s got a spray tan and dark eyes.
        Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins had a more believable cockney accent!

  14. More to the point why the fuck is such a pointless cuntitudinous program still on out TV’s. Shit tell watched by people with shit brains!

  15. I’ve no idea who this fucker is but let’s face it – this country is awash with cretinous, talentless drongs who seem to be elevated above us into the netherspere of celebrity shithouses – i wish they would all fuck off and die leaving the rest of us to enjoy what’s left of our lives before the fucking corona virus eats us all alive – mad – I’m bloody furious!!!

  16. Not a fucking clue who he is – Looks like the chuckle brother that carked…

  17. Just watching Crufts and saw this fuck off great big cunt of a dog called Drago. I got very excited imagining Joe Swash with his balls covered in Chappie and this fucking big cunt Drago going at them. Ha ha ha ha ha.

  18. The fucking gurning cunt is as cockney as Yorkshire pudding. Apparently he’s from Islington and is a mix of Irish, Scottish and Italian blood. Another mockney cunt in need of a good kicking.

  19. As i write this now this cunt has just won dancing on ice , my missus as soon as he won shouted yes yes yes , she wanted him to win. Please forgive me all you ISAC, users but i’m going off line to stab my missus to death.

    • Exactly as I predicted many weeks ago. Voted for only by his fan-base. This chav will continue to rake it in thanks to all those dull fuckers who chucked their money away dialling premium rate numbers because in their blinkered mindset they deemed him a ‘diamond geezer’ from his soap and reality roles. It seems that all these terrible TV programmes end in a similar way these days. Talent seem to have no place in the results any more.

      • Fucking hell, do you really think viewer votes count? They pick the winner from the start. Thats why the most improved dancer over the weeks still loses. They make sure the ‘currently popular’ and ‘biggest fanbase’ people win. Thats also the same reason Swash, Joex Essex, Scarlett Moffatt and that Rylan go on EVERY celebrity show…

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