Gated Communities

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There is one near where I live. The ‘Gate’ itself is not really a gate, but a barrier. Not quite ‘Checkpoint Charlie’, but it is substantial. I think the residents must have a fob key. It’s not really a GC come to think… just an estate with a barrier. The homes are better quality than those around it, but all the same, uniform.

One drunken night I found myself in it. Tumbleweed should have been blowing through as it felt so desolate. And come to think of it, during the day (if I am passing) you never see a kid, or an elderly person walking about in there. In fact, I have never seen anyone moving around in there. There must be people, because I can see the lights on in the houses of an evening and the cars outside. It’s a mystery place to me really.

I contrast it in my mind with the estate further up the road: winding open streets, many large grass verges, the houses built at angles to each other, a few even facing the opposite direction to the rest, different sized gardens, lots of variety from small and large bungalows to detached and semi-detached family homes. It seems to have grown up of itself. Great variety as I say. I won’t over-romanticize it by saying I see chirpy urchins on the street corners, all smiles, but you do see people walking about, visiting each other, neighbours chatting. It does have more of a ‘community’ feel about it than the other place.

Yes, that’s what I object to in the term Gated “Communities”… when there’s no community at all.

Nominated by Miles Plastic

55 thoughts on “Gated Communities”

  1. I hate these fucking places, built for cunts to “feel safe”, when in fact its a fucking self-imposed PRISON camp. No life outside their hermetically sealed cellblocks. But if anyone outsede their little cuntclave lights up a barbecue, the geted-elite start kicking up. On the other hand when the inmates of HMP-Gated have shindig, the outer-plebs can go fuck themselves. I have an almost uncontrollable urge to sneak around one night at wind a shitload of hardened steet chain and several padlocks to the gates to keep the fuckers shut, & to be a REAL cunt, superglue the padlocks….

  2. Shouldn’t this nom be called ‘Not Really Gated Communities’?

    I’m looking forward to moving into Cuntflap’s ISAC gated community, complete with machine-gun lookout towers.

    • May I suggest that you give these chaps a call.

      https://www.dynasystems.co.uk/

      Proven all over the world, from modular machine gun towers to blast walls ( even used by our cousins to protect their embassy’s) only the best for us.

      • Great bags I get to be security and I nominate RTC as information retrieval officer.
        My first rule is that all cleaning staff be un clothed to prevent theft or concealed weapons .

  3. Trumps wall is a gated community. No 10 is a gated community. Im not behind one but would love to have one at Dover.

    • Island nations are unique. To set off in any direction and arrive at the coastline without ever crossing a “border” is unintelligible to the minds of Frenchmen. Yanks. Cambodians. Arabs. And those borders are replicated in their minds.

      Here you may walk but no farther, is a matter of fact. Ingrained from birth. I would actually argue from before birth due to mothers’ voice patterns imprinted strongly on tiny brains. But enough about Europeans.

      There is a different mind. Without borders. Whether to walk or think or imagine or achieve: “Thus far but no farther” is as alien to that mind as the oceans are to the seas. And when first one sees a sea and talks to the people who live there, enquires about the local volcano or why they’re throwing pooves off rooves, all that one can hope is their sea dries up and the wind blows them away forever.

      I have never lived anywhere with a land border. I’ve been there, vomited a lot, went back, vomited some more, safari in Africa? Vomit central; Egyptian riviera? actually not too bad but skinny-dipping in the moonlight? Ill advised. A mental border was transgressed. How could it not be? Everything they do is mental.

      It’s mental because they have borders.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2BYyeS-fIU&t=28

  4. You’ll probably find your typical SJWs, Islington Woke or Lefty celebs hanging about in these GCs, safe in the knowledge that they’re well insulated from the hoi polloi on the other side of the fence: the same hoi polloi they profess to support and adore for the sake of integration and diversity.

    • But it’s so nice the residents can occasionally interact with our cherished ethnic and peaceful friends.
      “Bzzz”
      “Yah”?
      “Deliveroo”..
      I can understand communities for security, but not for reasons of class and social cleansing, and the gates are usually around the corner from the “Poor Doors” of the working class filth the rich soooo hate and fear.
      Good nom MP!

  6. Reminds me of the ‘private roads’ in the centre of London that Hollyweird cunts like Tom Cruise stay in when they grace us with their swivel eyed tasteless yank presence…

    • Ronnie Corbit is a cunt, he had a road re-stricter put outside his house to stop large vehicles passing his house in croydon.
      Unfortunately for him he has a horse shoe drive and they put the re-stricter between the entry’s.
      Only did it twice and it is rare I get to pick on someone smaller than me.

      • Ronnie hasn’t much now in the way of possessions as the little munchkin passed away a few years back.

        Unless of course he is buried in his driveway?

  7. Ah, but if things go on the way they are, we might all be wanting one of these gates… As the quota of bogo bogos, dooshka dooshkas, and parking stan lees goes nuclear… I shudder when I hear that cunt Burnham or the council mention ‘affordable housing’… Because we all know it means getting rid of our green belt in nice areas (like mine) and putting up houses for these never worked and never will cunts…. No fucking ta, pal…..

    • The affordable housing today is quite simply the slums of tomorrow.

  8. I have had occasion to deal with gated communities, (complete with rent a cop) most have been secret rural villages that you would not even know existed.
    Occasionally I have dealt with the occupants of bunkers, these fellows are normally recluses and live in isolated places with state of the art security that brings me on to my point.
    A lot of these systems rely upon a mobile phone signal, so one day I had to go out to a bunker, I arrived at the appointed time, parked in the correct spot under the camera pressed the call button and fuck all happened……..
    Now I was expected and the client is reliable (even likeable) so I was slightly concerned and called the person who designed and built the place to find out what was up.
    He was able to contact the residents on another system (telephone), who were totally unaware of their surroundings because the thunder storm the night before had knocked out their house, so no access systems, no cctv, no sensors and no way out. (probably was but not the one they normally used) so I had to wait 10 mins whilst the property was rebooted to get in.
    Another thing the owner told me was that he has problems with Amazon drivers on the remote system, He can see and speak to them, They can speak to him but a degree of mime is required with some people, so drop it in the shed by the gate turned into a good 10 minuet conversation.

    • While you’re on,Lord B…..did the missing greyhound ever turn up?

      • No as I thought it has probably been nicked by the Pikeys, the dog is chipped with 3 emergency numbers listed, the last one being the Trust so if it were to go to a vet it would be found.
        it is to be noted the “Local” shit bags have come to an agreement with the oirish pikeys and let them camp in their area, petty crime has rocketed likewise burglary.

  9. I’d happily see the local incomer “community” safely locked behind a high-security electric fence. I can see it now…machine-gun towers,guards with Alsatians patrolling the perimeter and perhaps an inspirational message mounted above the entrance gates.

  10. I’m all for them.

    If I lived in one Id insist on being Chairman of the Vetting Committee so that I can say who else gets to live there.

    Fellow-ISACs are most welcome and would Im sure help me draft the Residence Policy and criteria in 20 mins tops.

  11. This is the true reality of the multicultural society. Solidarity gone, community cohesion gone, social standards gone. Replaced by richer people living behind automated gates, and poor people just barricading themselves in their hovels to protect themselves from the absolute scum of humanity who came in need.

    • More a case of the people in the gated community having a “Terribly wonderful idea” of some form of global solidarity that they are excluding themselves from.
      I have lived on a development where the developer agreed to build “affordable housing” in the form of a half way house, I have got a lot of 9″ screw drivers that I found stuck in the flower beds when walking the dog, and I am 100% sure that 3 buildings were responsible for 70% of the crime in the area.
      The only bonus of having them there was I got an ambulance for the Mrs in less than 5 mins because there is normally one in the area for chav and tart when they OD or take something that does not agree with them.

  13. I’d love to lob a few Gators into these Gated Communities. Thinking about it though, it wouldn’t be fair on the Alligators to mingle with the woke liberal snowflake cunts who reside in these poorly built Wimpy shitholes.

  14. I lived in one in Seffrica. Makes sense and reduces your chances of being murdered by the local savages.
    Cant understand one in UK though. If where you live (London?) needs this sort of set up don’t fucking live there. Relocate to somewhere less vibrant.

    • I lived on the GRA in Lagos (ikeja) we had a “police” presence but after 7pm it was lock down, 7ft wall with glass on top, two guards on the house and we were behind bars, there was a line of retreat through 3 steel doors to the final stand that was the bathroom on the first floor, we had a door in the bars and an escape ladder.
      However the locals cut through the roof of the local “Partner” and shot them as they were escaping, she lost her arm to gangrene and he was shot in the arse.
      That is also how I got to be under fire at the age of 16 and I can tell you a 7.62 x 51 will go through a hollow concrete block.

    • “If where you live (London?) needs this sort of set up don’t fucking live there. Relocate to somewhere less vibrant.”

      On Wednesday eveings The Standard has a property section. Quite recently they highlighted EAST HAM as an “up and coming area – the new Shoreditch or Hackney”.

      I wonder if the scribbler has been there in the past 25 years?. If Jemima and Ollie buy a “property” there they will be shitting themselves on their first night of diversity. Jemima will be going home to mummy in Hazelmere.

  15. James O’Shithead, who I suspect lives in an exclusive gated community comprised of Libtards and similar privileged dross, went into overdrive this morning blaming Brexit for the collapse of Flybe!

    No mention of the years of mismanagement and fears around Coronavirus.

    Desperate cunt probably blames Corbyn-19 on Brexit too. A Brexit which for all practical purposes doesn’t even take effect until the end of this year, if ever.

    • It’s about time somebody silenced that cunt – permanently. It could be argued that if we apply his warped thought processes, Brexit is keeping the fucker in a job – if he didn’t have that to moan about the twat wouldn’t know what to do.

      • Did these people really not understand why the results of the last election were as they were? It would seem not.

    • “You voted to be poorer,” he smugly ranted, “well now you are. And this is just the start.”

    • so true – gated comoonities – beloved of those lefties who live in God-foresaken areas where crime is rife – or “vibrant”. As long as they keep those responsible for vibrancy out.

  16. I did a job for some couple moving from a very posh part of Cheshire to one of these gated Community things, Miles.
    Your not allowed a trailer, a boat, or a van on your drive, even though you own the property.
    Why?
    Lowers the tone, they dont want working class on there!😁
    Full of middle management types all in competition.

    • Wouldn’t take kindly to an old mattress, sofa, bath, fridge and/or dismantled car on the front lawn then, eh?

      • Doubtful Moggie.
        Got the feeling if you were doing something the neighbours would be curtain twitching, phoning each other up etc.
        Not somewhere id like to live.
        Hey, Miles never said what he was doing wandering around there in the dead of night looking through windows?
        On the rob?

      • I was exploring the vicinity Miserable when I first came here (2 half years ago) and the drink made me adventurous. The barrier I saw as a challenge. So I went looking all around. And there was a snicket into a grass play area (surrounded by iron fencing of course) but there was a gap in the fencing and that’s how I got in. Silence and desolation of course. Mind you it was the middle of the night.
        What I object to it is like an enclave in the village. I live across the road from the Working Men’s Club. That is the centre of the community. On a Saturday afternoon I see people with their children coming from all parts of the village to congregate and socialise there. I never see anyone come from the gated place. One more thing- it is semi rural round here and the byways (if that is the word) are open to fields and copses on either side. On the byway that the GC runs along is a huge great wall. (Almost as tall as the houses themselves) So instead of a normal street with houses and gaps in the houses and shortcuts to other streets and verges, parks, as part of the village you have a place literally cut off.
        Yes I like to be free to roam, must have some Pi*ey blood in me.

    • I am not even allowed a fucking door mat! and I live on a council estate.
      They have announced a 0 tolerance policy to anything in communal areas (ie my fucking doorstep)

      • It might start with a doormat but soon escalates to a potted plant and a crackhouse. I see where the council is coming from.

  18. Chatham house did a report on gated communities in Brazil, how the cleaning staff came in from the nearby shanty towns where crime was rife and worked in the communities where crime was not, the study was conducted by members of HMF in the 1990’s and I often wonder if it was the prelude to the large number of gated communities that started to appear.

    • Check out this pic to see how the very rich and very poor live side by side in Brazil. This is a district in Sao Paulo called Morumbi and this luxury building is literally next to a sprawling favela. Your view from the penthouse is of thousands of wooden and cardboard shacks and breeze block “homes” that accommodate several families.

      It´s the same in Rio de Janeiro although you have more spectacular views from the hilltops where the favelas are. You can also listen to the shoot-outs between the rival gangs and police.
      https://www.tucavieira.com.br/A-foto-da-favela-de-Paraisopolis

      • Coming to multicultural paradises in northern Europe soon. Better either get rich or prepare to be stuck in the slums.

  19. Never seen one don’t give a fuck. But let me get this straight, the ‘winners’ of this neoliberal game of cunts, who calculated that it is not cost efficient to lock up the ESN imports and feral natives, lock themselves up instead. Got it.

    • I’d love to live in one. No-one hanging about, no-one coming to my door to pester me. Peace and quiet, safe and secure, sounds ideal. I’ve been self-isolating for years, this would make it easier.

  21. A quick question: do we have more or less gated communities because of “enrichment” and our “greatest strength”?

    No doubts the cunts therein are the same Tristram and Poppies wringing their hands over those poor “refugees” and “asylum seekers” hording at the Greek border?

    Yeah they’re all for “enrichment” of our green and pleasant land, just so long as their sliver of land remains green, pleasant and free from our “greatest strength”.

    Cunts!

  22. Firstly, this nom, to me, is congruous with attention-seeking tossers who have private number plates and double-barrelled surnames. (You know, the types of cunts who, when on an international business trip or exotic long-haul holiday, would phone either the tour operator or travel agent from thousands of miles away to get them to phone or email the hotel to tell the hotel they are staying at to turn the air conditioning off, instead of taking a two-minute stroll from their room down to the hotel’s reception in person and asking them to do it, or even trying to figure it out themself.) Arrogant, pampered and entitled cunts who are completely bereft of common sense.

    Secondly, I like peace and quiet and a decent standard of living like any normal person does, but, for feck’s sake, a gated community just strikes me as downright ‘orrible. I have a hunch that most of these types of communities, ironically, suffer adversely as a result of living in such a cut-off milieu (i.e., that it is just too quiet and already miserable people are rendered further miserable). I, too, have cast a surreptitious glance at these communities in the past and, imo, the OP has accurately described what they seem like: empty, bleak and miserable — all the atmosphere of a friggin’ graveyard or cancer ward. Fuck all that!

    I’ll stick to being a commoner and plebeian, thanks (albeit an eloquent and sexy one 😉 ).

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