Parked Cars in Flooded Areas

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A right cunting for people who have left cars in areas that have flooded. I mean how fucking dumb can you be?

It’s not like you were not warned that it was coming, but no, people still thought it would be fine to leave their motors overnight in the car park next to a river.

Serves yourselves right, you stupid cunts. Good luck trying to get shitty river water out the upholstery. That’s going to be squelching and stinking of shit for months. May as well just write the fucker off, but I’m sure the insurance companies will just tell them to go swivel.

Nominated by Wee Jimmy Krankie’s Hairy Cunt

39 thoughts on “Parked Cars in Flooded Areas”

  1. I used to see that quite often in and around Birmingham: stupid twats who felt road-side warnings saying “road closed due to flooding” was beneath them. More so the 4×4 twats who seem to think a mere “puddle” would be no problem for their beast!

    So off they go, ignoring the warnings, and ploughing straight in, not realising of course that the “puddle” is far deeper and wider than they possible imagined!

    Next thing: their engine cuts out, with the water up to and over the wheel arches, and they’re well and truly fucked!

    A good crowd turns up to video the whole scene, with people laughing & pointing at the driver who hasn’t got a fucking clue what to do next.

    Realising no one is coming to help he has to open the door and let the mucky water gush in, and off he plod splish-splashing through the water, lifting the bonnet and looking at the engine – as if that’s going to help!

    Eventually he abandons the car and fucks off no doubt embarrassed, wet, tired and pissed off that no rescue service will come and help until the flood subsides; and also realising how he’s going to explain it all to the insurance people (assuming he has insurance)

    Joy of joys for the dumb and dumber

    The former Cuntmobile could ford 3ft to 4 ft of water no problem, it was built to do so, apart from raised air intakes and breathers the key was it was porous and had no door seals or floor plugs (so it did not float off) It was used in a number of rescue operations, The current cuntmobile is not so versatile though and circumnavigates puddles where possible.

    • So, I went out flying my kite during a thunderstorm & was staggered when I got hit by lightning ! would you adam & eve it ? – Gormless Cunt

  3. Nearly every time i drive slowly through 8 inches of water in my village some ignorant twat in a 4×4 comes flying past at 40 mph.
    Look at me! I’ve got a 4×4 and don’t have to slow down!
    Green welly wearing cunts.

    • Yes! Mrs nonuts has just got over a serious bout of da floo, and as she was feeling much better she decided to take our cunt of a dog for his morning walk, well she has just come in the the front door and both of them look like they have just rescued from the sea! drowned to fuck, ‘what’s happened here says i’, some bastard in a van deliberately swerved into a giant puddle and soaked us says she, did you get a number plate or anything says i, no going to fucking fast says she, but i recognise the van he lives round the corner, really says i ( thought of an early guy fawkes night racing through the grey matter)….. watch this space, nice bonfire tonight, petrol accellerant of course!

  4. Frankwell car park in Shrewsbury is prone to flooding. There were lots of weather warnings prior to the recent storms. Some daft cunts still parked on it.
    They’re still there.
    Cunts.
    Good morning.

  5. The area where I live in Yorkshire has been subject to extensive flooding recently.. On the worst day the water was sleeping under the threshold at the front door..
    There were half a dozen of us hard at work unblocking drains and trying to clear the impending disaster..
    Did these selfish arrogant cunts stop. Using the road?? Now bearing in mind we were wading about in about 2-2.5 feet of water..
    It all came to a head when the farmer stopped one of the cunts & made him turn around.. These cunts are beyond even reasoning with “but it’s a fucking 4×4 ” Was his only response..
    Fuck off.. Utter utter cunts…

    • That reminds me Moggie of watching the news last year and they were reporting from Fishlake in Yorkshire.

      • I did think of it but the name didn’t quite fit. There’s a single lane road not far from us which dips markedly as it goes under the railway line. If there is a minimum of rain the dip is full of water. This can easily be 2 to 3 feet deep and there’s no way of judging it so cars and vans often get trapped there.

  7. “The more parked cars in flooded areas the better!” exclaimed little Greta in a rare outburst of merriment.

  8. There’s something that happens to people when they get behind the wheel of a 4×4…….or perhaps it is already in their feeble brain, which is why they bought the fucker in the first place.
    They all imagine themselves in a Panzer barrelling across the Russian Steppes, the Red hordes melting before them…….all the time being sucked into the trap.
    Soppy cunts.

    • To get your vehicle to do “Camel trophy” you need to use a lot of other after market parts, mine had 1k of armour on it 2k of suspension/drive modification probably 1k thrown at other bits.
      The car (a suzuki vitara mot failure £400) would happily compete against Land rover tom cats, could and did drive through floods but an off the peg landrover or jeep will not (as the owners find out) and fitting a snorkel on your air intake should be your last modification not your first .

    • Good nom – I would have posted earlier but I have been pushing my waterlogged SUV out of “It floods every fucking day you tit” Lane!
      Who would have thought it, and the most annoying thing part is I was supposed to meet this guy who was stupid enough to want to swap some magic beans for my awful old cow!
      (Saves taking her out for f*cking dinner tonight – winner”!)

  10. Just before the A331 turn off on the A31 (heading to london) the overtaking lane floods to some depth, People do not get stuck they aqua plane ( I was only doing 60mph officer) and in the recent weather I have noticed a lot of trade for various recovery company’s there, this is not my cunting.
    My cunting is to the wanker who almost hit the flood at 70mph on Thursday but tried to dodge into the lane that I was in doing 50mp, fucking cuntus maximums!
    as they shot up the A331 I wished them a slow and painful death on the M3

  11. I was a bit concerned abaaaht the Alloys on the BMW…we had a quite a bit of rain in Notting Hill the other day, not good for them to be sat in water.
    No need to worry abaaaht my other flat as I’m smart and managed to get one on the third floor. 😁
    Go fuck yourselves.

  13. Flood hit parents (2ft or so of water) were on the news the other night complaining ‘everything’ had gone, although the furniture didn’t matter, they’d lost all their personal stuff, all their memories and the kids toys. Why didn’t the brainless cunts take ’em upstairs for fucks sake?

  16. Even more stupid than the tossers who park their cars in places likely to flood are the cunts who think they can drive through several feet of water, but end up marooned and in need of rescue. As seen frequently on a news channel near you. There’s nowt as stupid as folk.

  17. Never mind parked cars what about the cunts that moan every time there houses flood on tv every five minutes
    The oh I’ve lost everything brigade,the government should do more to help us ,no a simple solution to any sane person is don’t buy or build a house next to a river yer bunch of stupid cunts
    Build your house on a hill the it won’t happen

  18. People whom live in places likely to flood should invest in a bouncy castle.
    “Just heard there’s a flood coming”
    – “Quick, everyone! Get to the bouncy castle!”

  19. I don’t think that their Insurance companies should give them fuck all.

    I just sold an Audi Avant and bought a new Mercedes E Class, driving around Herefordshire after Dennis the Menace, the most water I would enter would be kerb height ~ 100mm.

    According to article the NEW Land Rover Defender is to have a wading depth of 900mm. I still wouldn’t drive it into floods though. What if those floods are 910mm. Plus, it’s all full of raw sewage.

    https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/cars/article-7702197/Ten-modern-cars-best-wading-depths-floods.html

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