This feudal pit of undeserved privilege needs to be reformed: filled with people who are not very good at what they do, but do not wish to be attended to in their dotage by teen Latvians, so they put on their dead animal badges of furry superiority and shuffle into a rich white Gods waiting room in a haze of Yardley perfume and piss, but no need to hang around long, thirty seconds of clutching a signing device in a withered old claw will guarantee an immediate payment of up to £500 (I kid you not) per day, then away for lunch old boy, in the subsidised restaurants and bars, then put the expenses claim in for the food and grog.

800 utter fucking parasites! Can’t get a job as lollipop lady or Man with a criminal record, but if you have form for fraud, theft, perjury or sex offences, the red leather is that way M’Lord!

Clean out this nest of self-serving, democracy-hating, piss-stinking rats and replace the House of Lords with a new chamber where 300 members of the public chosen without bias or favouritism from a wide cross section of society are given five Year contracts to debate and scrutinise Parliamentary business and legislation.

Can’t be arsed turning up, but still want paying? Fuck off.
Want to fall asleep at work? Fuck off.
Convicted criminal? Fuck off.
Using political allegiance to promote agendas? Fuck off.
Pervert? Fuck off.

Monday to Friday, nine to five, an hour for dinner, a salary of £52,000 PA and four weeks holiday a Year like we get.

Don’t like that? Fuck off.

And not to mention the tidy saving achieved by removing 500 irrelevancies who cost us – get this – two hundred and fifty Million a Year to keep them in brandy and adult nappies! This saving will of course be welcomed by a Government “Committed to savings in the public sector”.

House of Lords? Cunts.

That is all.

Nominated by Vernon Fox