Packaging

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During the run up to Christmas I ordered quite a few items online, mostly from Amazon. And even though all the goods arrived on time and intact, I was amazed to find the amount of packing used even for the most durable of items! I mean who the fuck sends a mobile phone case wrapped in 3 layers of bubble wrap, which in itself is wrapped with brown packing paper, which is packed in those irritating polystyrene chips that filled a packing carton the size of a large breakfast cereal box!

A jiffy bag would have probably done the job in this instance, and I know some suppliers want to make sure the items arrive undamaged. But there is a point where excessive packaging becomes a pain in the arse to dispose of!

Similarly, when buying shoes or slippers – the amount of packing in and round these items is excessive.

Shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts – have additional packaging around the collars and sleeves along with about 4 or 5 tags hanging all over the place.

Another irritation with packaging are those items that are hermetically sealed in plastic clam-shell casings. And the plastic is so tough you have to use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut the fucker open!

I am all for doing my bit for the environment (even though the real reason this world is so fucked up is over-population!), but the amount of paper, cardboard, plastic, polystyrene etc whether its recycled or not, is incredibly excessive and a cunt to get rid of.

Nominated by Technocunt

58 thoughts on “Packaging”

  1. AMAZON!! Never has a company been more appropriately named because as previous poster said you only need to order a tiny package and half of the rainforest turns up on your doorstep….
    Wasteful cunts……

    • Let’s hope Emily Thornberry and Diane Abbott don’t buy their bloomers online from Amazon – the packaging plus the size of the box would result in a hernia for the van driver.

    • The recycle bins near me are packed to overflowing purely because the half-baked council can’t be bothered to do regular collections even though they insist we should “care for the environment” and “go green”

      So now we have recycle and litter bins crammed with packaging from Christmas, most of it scattered all over the street due to the weather, and the area looks a right state!

      well done council you fucking eejits!

      • Yup sounds a lot like where I live. Partly feckless residents not disposing of their waste responsibly (how difficult is it to put your rubbish in a bag and tie the bag securely?) and stupidity from the council not putting on extra collections over Christmas and New Year.

  2. Food packaging boils my piss. The “finest” type foods that have fancy over-packaging to attract middle class cunts like me.

    And, of course, eco-friendly bamboo toothbrushes packaged, of course, in plastic.

    We need to go back to the ol’ fashioned market where everything comes in brown paper bags. Accrington or Bury market were great but only if you don’t work because the ruddy-faced cunts that work the stalls shut up shop at 330 pm.

  3. Make a Greta doll out of the worst toxic plastic China can dredge up and put it in 4 of those ballistic plastic covers that it takes a hacksaw to open.
    Delivered in an Amazon box the size of a car.Full of polystyrene as well.
    Perfect.
    The cunts.

  5. It’s also irritating how the supermarkets no longer supply plastic carrier bags, unless you pay for the privilege or bring your own.

    But its a right royal pain in the arse when you have supermarkets deliver your goods to your doorstep because again they don’t use bags any more. Instead you have to unpack everything yourself from the big crates the delivery driver drops on your doorstep. All very well if you’re young and reasonable fit, but a real pain if you’re not.

    So its one extreme to the other.

    • That certainly is a cunt, but on the other hand I was collecting enough disposable plastic bags to clog the firth of forth. They used to put like one tub of butter and cucumber (I’m not gay) in a single bag. I recommend having re-usable bags handy and put the shopping in the bag then carry to the kitchen. You could even ask the delivery driver to do it for you.

      • The Asda driver I used to use refused to cross the threshold into my house because he feared he’d been done for compo for damaging walls, furniture and carpets while carrying several crates full of my order.

        So now everything is loose apart from chilled stuff, which they put in plastic fucking bags!

  6. Doesn’t really bother me how much packaging they use. I just use it to set away the bonfire when I burn the old plastic bale-wrap and brash from tree jobs…in fact if anything it helps and I don’t have to waste as much red diesel getting it started….I do still chuck waste-oil on though,but that’s mainly just to get rid of it.

    Fuck Greta Thundercunt….nothing more satisfying than a good bonfire.

    • I don’t bother burning waste oil….I just pour it down the drain outside my house. Fuck ’em.

    • True Cuntishness…a quality in short supply these days I’m afraid.

      Morning Cuntflap.
      Morning All.

    • Greta would look quite decent as a Guy Fawkes perched atop a well-stacked bonfire.

      Dress her in the latest Wurzel Gummidge attire (so not much to do there then!), and shove a long wooden stick up her shitchute, and enjoy all that smoke and pollution as she goes up in flames!

    • Living in London bonfires are banned so I just dump it all in the street bin when I takes the dog for a shit. Never recycled anything.

      • I save mine for revenge attacks, have a 10 litre bucket of fermenting dog shit in the back garden “Just in case”.
        I do enjoy the odd faecal prank.

      • Lord Benny – a good few laughs on this thread but yours incited a big prolonged belly laugh. I shall treasure you comments for years to come. Just in case …

    • Ah yes it’s all coming back to me, those lazy Sunday afternoons on site sat round the tat fire burning off the copper, swigging tea and idly flicking nail gun cartridges into the reeking column… double time as well ya fucker! Get in!

  7. Some great news today- the half blood prince ( cuckold) and his gobshite American wife will be fucking off from these shores in the not too distant. Hopefully they’ll be funding themselves in whatever ” look at me” ventures they undertake.
    Harry you’ve been mugged and when the inevitable divorce goes thru you’re history.

    • When the quadroon ditches him and the ginger-cuckold wants to come crawling back I sincerely hope King William tells him to fuck right off the treacherous bastard. Not telling the Queen their intentions is a slap in the face too, she deserves better from these parasites. Cut the cunts of intermediately I say. Not another penny.

      • I reckon SparkleToes has an acting part lined up in the very near future and once landed will have no use for Hewitt whatsoever.
        I would love to think that Queenie and Phil the Greek are pondering over whether to leek the DNA results of Harry H to completely fuck him up on return from Yank Land.
        Fuck em all I say with a large wire brush.

      • I’m starting a campaign to return Frogmore to its rightful owner – Freddie.

      • Not to mention the title that goes with it . . . . . .
        Lord Freddie of Frogmore.

  8. I use all the paper and cardboard packaging as an aid to light the fire when it gets a bit more chilly at night. Saves a bit on kindling and I’d like to think gives a small middle finger to all the eco warriors out there. I like to do my bit now and again.
    I also like the idea of a maybe a cardboard Thundercunt you can use as a firelighter.

    • A 3D one you can fill with flammable shit and jam a lit match up her twat to get it going.

  9. A few years I ordered a new saw blade from Amazon. Nothing special, around 18″ long and 2″ wide. This should have had a strip of cardboard each side then wrapped in tape, job done. It turned up in a 30″ x 12″ x 8″ box filled with what seemed like a mile of brown paper. I know the dimensions exactly because I was so stunned I measured it, then took a photo of it and complained to Amazon, they never even had the decency to reply.

    • But they’re also quick enough to add flyers and other advertising leaflets inside your packaging from them!

      And that goes for all the junk mail and bullshit flyers that get pushed through my letterbox (not so much now but certainly when I used to live just outside Birmingham). A day didn’t go by without yet another flyer exclaiming a new pizza takeaway or Indian takeaway had just opened with a “20% off your first order!” bollocks.

      all of it straight in an already overloaded fucking bin!

      • And what makes a takeaway think you’re going to order from one that’s 5 miles away from you when there are a dozen within farting distance.

  10. I am a cunt of epic proportions and a vengeful one at that.
    I send survey equipment off for calibration every so often.
    The company returned to me a theodolite in a large box packed out with what I can only imagine was the contents of their recycling bin, This triggered “Packing wars” and the next item I sent was packed out with the contents of the office rubbish bins plus the shit they sent me last time.
    My most recent and epic package was a cubic meter box containing a further 5 or six boxes all shrink wrapped and bubble wrapped making the most wonderful game of pass the parcel for the recipients the core item was a 20cm by 30cm box.
    I also manged to get a parcel impounded by a courier by putting a “Human organs in transit” sticker on it, again the recipient got a lot of shit from the courier who refused to forward it as they were not covered for donor transport.
    They did get it in the end though.

  11. I wonder if the eco loonies realise that their sanctimonious lecturing is actually having the opposite effect? Don’t think they account for cunts like me (and no doubt others) that on being smugly told what to do by our supposed betters, will then do the exact opposite and landfill everything for the sheer hell of it? Every time I chuck some cardboard in my green bin I have a little tip of my hat to old Thunderbirds. Then think about booking a holiday somewhere far away. Childish? Yes.

    • BTW obviously the fires in Oz are tragic, but the rightons are hijacking that now too; daughter was told by teachers at college yesterday that the fires now cover an area greater than Russia. I suggest looking at an atlas……

  12. I wear a little backpack when shopping because I have one less hand free to carry stuff because I walk with a stick.
    I might have a shopping bag in there just in case I need to buy more things at the time.

    I use junk mail leaflets as wrapping paper for presents. It take ages for me to wrap things anyway and seconds for the recipient to unwrap and put in the bin, so, no point in buying wrapping paper.

    I remember seeing photos of packaging, bottles etc that are washed up in places abroad.

    Packaging is useful but only for a short time.

    • p.s. they should bring back the thing where you would buy a bottle of pop then return the glass bottle and get 10p back. Something like that.

    • At first glance Spoons I thought you said “I wear a little black dress”

  13. Great cunting. The stuff that drives me up the wall is that tough, stretchy plastic that encases a pack of four cartons of orange juice thatyou buy at the supermarket (and much else besides). You have to take a fucking stanley knife to it to shift the fucker.

      • I give up with all those what-can and what-can’t be recycled labels. As far as I’m concerned if its plastic, or cardboard, glass or paper then in the appropriate recycle bin it goes!

        I really don’t have time for all the fuckwittery of sorting out what can and can’t be recycled, and then been told to clean out your bottles, glasses and containers; and blah blah fucking blah!

        I am not fully convinced all the recycling collected by the council actually goes into recycling factories; but may end up in landfill or shipped abroad for profit!

      • Admin, those beeswax wraps, does it come with a whistle to summon the bees and wrap the item for you?

      • ‘More fooking namby pamby middle class save t’ planet wankery. Uz never ‘ad nowt lark that when aaaaah wer’t lass’.

        Rebecca Long-Bailey, ‘Voice of the People’ Labour leadership candidate, yesterday.

    • It’s true, some companies overdo it with the packaging, but those who mail DVDs and Blu-rays are tending to go the other way and send them in these thin waterproof envelopes that offer little protection. I’ve had a number that have arrived with the disc loose in the case because they get thrown around by Royal Mail, and once or twice the case itself has been damaged.

  14. Over Christmas & New Year, built a shitload of IKEA (nb. Swedish, same as lil Ms Thunderbox) wardrobes and bookcases &c.
    Screws / ironmongery all done up in the toughest plastic bags imaginable, THEN entombed inside cardboard that you could build eco-houses out of.
    However, extra shelves bought separately for the infamous Billy bookcases came with their ironmongery shoved down at one end of the chipboard edge, thus ensuring that said fiddly little bits and pieces roll under the nearest furniture when these packages are stripped of their clingfilm.
    Ms Thunderbox, please go and have a good whinge at IKEA. It won’t make any difference (to me), but IKEA might tell you to fuck off. In Swedish.

  15. This is where the vegetarians show their typical air of smugness, (See what I did there, combining two successive cuntings ). They choose not to have any packaging around their veggies, particularly their highly prized, expensive, white asparagus which needs to be on open show at the checkout to shame the Pikey in front who has just slammed down his bag of mushy peas.

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