Andy Warhol once remarked that ‘everyone could be famous for fifteen minutes’. Unfortunately, there are any number of irritating cunts who have managed to extend their period in the spotlight for a lot longer than that.
I’m referring to those z-list ‘celebrities’ with all the talent of a fridge, that’s to say, those with no discernible talent other than that of relentless self-promotion in what’s termed ‘celebrity culture’, and who then genera enough controversy to stay there. They’re the utterly insufferable pricks who are simply famous for being famous. They’re all over the meeja like a nasty and unwanted rash. They’re in the papers, magazines, and putrid ghost-written autobiographies. They’re on the telly – wannabes and never-will-bes in trashy vehicles such as ‘Love Island’, ‘The Apprentice’, and ‘I’m A Cunt, Get Me Out Of Here’.
Round up the usual suspects. We’re talking Katie Price, Peter Andre, Paris Hilton, Joey Essex. We’re talking Caroline Flack, Nicole Richie, Kevin Federline, Gemma ‘Five Bellies’ Collins, and of course the Kardashians… please feel free to add your own choices to the car-crash list of non-entities, up to and including the likes of Meghan ‘Little Miss Sparkle’ Markle.
It’s bad enough having opinionated luvvies like Cumbercunt and Thomphole gobbing off on anything from climate change to ‘refugees’ to Brexit, but at least they can stake a claim to fame. As it is, you’d like, no you’d LOVE to escape from the antics of ridiculous, no-mark cunts like Price, but it’s difficult, very difficult, because so many airheads buy into the vacuous ‘culture of celebrity’ and give them the oxygen of publicity.
To quote The Who’, ‘why don’t y’all f-f-fade away’. Or to put it more bluntly, why don’t y’all fuck.right.off. Useless, annoying twats.
Nominated by Ron Knee
Famous for being an attention seeking, useless ,gob shit cunt, married to another attention seeking, useless gobshite cunt, and has a family of matching cunts.
20
And demanding to be HEARD because their opinions matter.
8
I could be famous.
Got the skill set for it.
Talentless
Gobshite
Attention seeker
Cant act
Dazzling smile
An didnt see Harvey do owt.
15
Harvey said he was with Alex Salmond and Prince Andrew on the occasions in question, but Harvey has very recently fabricat.., er, developed a dreadful disability – so we all have to be nice to him now!
#hoponmywheelchairbitches
9
still better than a f*g rapist though
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50987823
6
That guy Dingly, hes done loads, in all seriousness im wondering if hes the serial killer who has been in Manchester centre for few years?
Police said that theres no evidence of a killer yet loads of young lads been found in the canals.
Manchester police & Andy Burnham couldnt find their arse with both hands
9
It seems none of them had any idea what had happened to them, so he must have a tiny dick or else there would’ve been dozens of Manchester lads walking round rubbing sore arses.
And what’s his punishment for breaking all known rape records? He’s going to be locked up with sex-starved men for the rest of his life.
11
Hes a immigrant enriching our land with diversity.
He lived near my lad in central manchester, according to the news.
10ft of hemp.
Pull of a lever
Problem solved.
HMM horses for courses I think there is a nomination page hint hint…
8
‘We were going to do an ‘In Memorium’ this year, but when I saw the list of dead people, it wasn’t diverse enough’.
Brutal Ricky Gervais slagging off the Hollywood branch of annoying celebrity cunts at this year’s Golden Globes.
19
Ha, ha, yes saw that. Tom Hanks, the big fucking cry-baby – open mouthed in ‘horror’ reaction to those nasty words. Perhaps Hanks needs his very own cunting? It appears he enjoyed an ‘associate’ cunting with Renee Zellwegger back in 2016.
I will need to summon up some bile before I give Hanks both barrels in the nomination page, the cunt.
15
I wrote one for Tom Hanks while I was writing Will Smith’s but never posted it. I’ve never understood his appeal. Miscast, bland, dreay-faced uber-liberal. Recently he’s been attempting to make his son famous.
8
He was fucking good in ‘Sully’.
4
I’m not a big fan Ron but fair play to him for that broadside, properly put it to all the woke cunts
12
Being fair to Kim Kardashian,she got famous by releasing a sex-tape….I have been attempting to emulate her route to fame and fortune by posting home-made video tapes of me having a wank through neighbours doors ( it’s handy both wanking and then immediately posting through the same letterbox )…the fame part is coming along nicely..the local paper did a front page feature about me…but the fortune bit seems to be taking a bit longer.
https://youtu.be/xXyT1vy3BII
10
Absolutely brill, Dick. Will pass this on! Great spot.
Must try and track down KK’s tape.
8
Couldn’t get the volume but I assume that was Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars. Oddly one of Enid (didn’t know about Saville) Rancid’s ‘boys’.
5
That fake arse family are the fucking dregs of humanity. Initially famous for sucking cock, now idolised by vacuous tarts, of which there must be millions, who keep the cash rolling in. The dad/stepdad saw how much the slags were coining it flogging make up, he turned into a drag queen for a slice of it. Now he’s so famous for being a tranny, he can kill old ladies in car accidents and walk away Scott free. Husband Kanye has found a more lucrative pastime than his awful rap shite, and has gone for the low hanging fruit becoming an evangelist minister, a real print your own money gig.
I also despise those twats who were once famous, but can’t let go. Rich beyond belief, they will not just fuck off and enjoy it, they have to linger, like a stale fart in a council flat lift. There are a few, but the pinnacle of this cuntitude is the family Beckham. Washed up footballer, and kiddy pop has been singer are are stubborn stain on humankind, dragging out their fifteen minutes by pumping out kids and wasting no opportunity to hawk them on any platform, particularly social media for cash and likes. Fuck off, please….
21
Yep Gutstick… the absolute pinnacle of cuntitude, the Beckhams. Two cunts married to each other, with a bunch of cunt offspring. There’s got to be a show in it; ‘Beckham Cunts-the Musical’.
9
A miserable looking hag, and a tattooed chav. They would probably be together if they were living in a council estate. I can’t stand the sight of them. He was too dumb to even become a pundit. How dumb is that?
15
When Beckham went to Real Madrid he was asked about his transfer – he said “it’s not a twansfer, it’s a real tattoo”!
But we must have sympathy, he has just had his house burgled and the b*stards emptied his library – Beckham was gutted because they stole both books and he was only half way through colouring the second one in”
12
That Manchester rapist, not once on the BBC did they mention that he’s not from these shores
The third world once again showing that enrichment is the way forward .
18
He must have been on one hell of a course, he came over as a student, ten fucking years ago !
They should cut this cunts knob off, film it on his phone, then say ‘There you go sunshine, another video for your collection ‘
Then throw him in the Ship Canal.
Get To Fuck.
14
Don’t think he did much course work unless he miss-placed his thesis up the anal passages of his victims
9
I wonder if Kardashian takes it up the old Rick Witter?….
Just idle curiosity, you understand….
10
They all do. Right up the Khyber Pass.
Completely different subject but up the villa and let’s do a middle class thing and slaughter the foxes on Wednesday night. Please
2
I’d say that’s a given Norman, but I’m just happy to see a reference to the great Rick Witter of the incredibly underrated Shed Seven!! Rick accidentally smacked me in the gob with his microphone a couple of years ago when I was on front row at Rock City
4
B and W might be the go to source of reference on this one Norman
5
You can guarantee each week without fail David and Victofria Beckham will be on the front page of the tabloids, usually with one or all of their fucking rotten kids, because Dave has bought a new cap and given the old one to one of the boys, there will also usually be an appearance by wannabe mums of the year Stacey Solomon, and her dim-witted boyfriend Joe Swash (a long retired actor of soap opera) or Mylene Klass who likes to show her children almost as much as getting her tits out. They are there for the most risible of reasons and why the papers think it worth reporting, especially since the spectre of World War 3 is heading it’s ugly rear, I can’t imagine. I don’t give a fuck what any of the talentless wankers get up to.
8
To become a sleb you don’t have to do much these days, shagging a real sleb is often good enough……..Stormy Daniels, Monica Lewinsky, that slag who fucked Sven and the other tart who shagged Beckham and then wanked off a pig on the telly. Think of all the blokes who have become famous for fucking Katie Price, a plastic, talent free tart in herself. Who would have ever heard of Major Hewitt if he hadn’t shoved his posh cock up that slut and out popped the woke ginger prince?
You even get these fucked up women writing to convicted serial killers wanting to marry the cunts. A sign of the times i’m afraid.
17
I know it ain’t the first time I’ve posted this guys, but this is my favourite ‘Katie’ moment… I love and worship tits, but Jesus, those silicone battleships are fucking frightening.
And as for that raddled old bag Brand…
The not-so-sublime and the fucking outrageous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5leE9B_Hzkk
4
Katie Price – professional python milking machine.
8
where would you find the tits on a python?
1
I don´t get the BBC where I live so know nothing about anyone on this show but it looks a load of shite to me. Is taxpayers´ licence fee money really spent on stuff like this?
1
Feck me, Price has pinched her barnet from some bizarre caged bird…
0
Kim Karfreshner is a waste of good dick!
10
Don’t think he did much course work unless he miss-placed his thesis up the anal passages of his victims
4
oops wrong thread
4
Not to worry, compared to adjacent posts it’s relatively in context and relevant!
2
In the 21st century ambition supersedes talent. The route to fame has never been easier:
1) Youchoob – set fire to your hair, fall off your skateboard, drink nail varnish, etc.
2) Shoestring TV programmes on any of the many, many channels (don’t forget to paint your face orange).
3) Be black/asian/LGBLTSB/super fat/Dooshka and “be” a panel show comedian/comedienne (you needn’t be funny but must mention B****t and T***p).
4) Buy a knife from Wilko and go a bit stabby on a bridge in London.
5) Enter yourself as a candidate for any constituency (don’t forget to have some barmy ideas like two-day working week or an independent Jockland).
12
No 3 is nailed on Cap’n. There seems to be an awful lot of Johnny Vegas type no talents who are just on a merry-go-round of panel/game/chat shows, being as funny as cancer.
7
…and here’s our first guest, Sara Dara O’Millican Aislin Katherine Ryan O’Nasheem-Chundrapatha!
“Haa-way, ah’m so ugly yous can ‘ave a refund, pet.”
5
Kim Kardashian and Kanye’s daughter is called North.
Looking forward to her autobiography.
North by North West….
9
Just been told they’ve got another kid called Chicago West.
If that’s not a U.S. hospital drama I dont know what is….
5
And to slightly misquote The Who further “hope (they) die before (they) get old”
6
We seem to be infected with the fuckers. ‘Celebrity’ programmes where I haven’t got a fucking clue who the fuckers are or what they are for.
Cunts all.
7
The Holy Grail is to get enough ‘celebrity’ to get onto ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here’, hosted by two of the biggest no-mark ‘celebrities’ on the face of the planet. Genius.
6
who? Mel and Sue??
Kiddin’ ut they’re as fucking bad
Celebrity = Cunt
4
To me, famous is being well known for doing good things.
The opposite infamous is being well known for doing bad things.
People whom are famous just for being famous, in my opinion, should fork off.
5
The Kardi-shit-cans are the epitome of what a set of cunts the human race has become, if aliens ever landed on Earth and the first thing they met was that set of retards they would conclude what a fucking waste of how ever many light years it took to reach us and for what.
5
‘At Home With The Kardashians’ fucking indeed. What a pile of donkey wank.
Would have been far more engaging and entertaining to watch these cunts At Home with Dennis Nilsen (at 23d Cranley Gardens).
Fuck off.
7
Sad thing is Paul, those donkeys are laughing all the way to the bank.
Oh, here’s the latest edition of ‘Hello’ just arrived in the post.
2
They’re called “celebrities” because they have a quality or talent that deserves to be celebrated. None of these “reality” stars, whether it’s Gemma “look at me, I’m a fat cunt” Collins, or Jade “dead” Goody, ever had anything worth celebrating. Useless horrible cunts, the lot of them. As for the current batch of “comedians”, we’ve got Pish Kumar, that Ranganathan dick, Sara Pascoe, the twats on The Last Leg, that insufferable Rosie spaz, that completely unfunny and useless bint from New Zealand, every other female comedienne, poofy Tom Allen, and every panel show hopping cunt trotting out the same tiresome crap. Not one funny bone among the fucking lot of them. Get their money easy, the cunts.
4