A cunting please for…THE SCHOOL TRIP!
Like me, many here will remember the days of the school trip, usually at the end of term and just before the summer holidays. A day out in Whitby perhaps, or some other useless cunt of a place. The cost was usually a few bob, lunch a bag of chips and home at the end of the day.
Well fuck that! Today’s little cunts fare better! My granddaughter (Yr 11) has returned today with details of one of the three options for a School trip. Thailand! Fucking Thailand! (the other two options being….Beijing and San Francisco) She wants to go to Thailand because it is the cheaper of the three places at £2999 per person! Spaces are limited to 60 pupils on each trip (£179,000 per group)!!! My beef is…the cost, the rip off, and the lingering feeling some cunt is making a killing on either backhanders or freebies. Now. Remember I said there were three options for Yr 11… well that is over half a million quid for the three trips! FFS! How many fucking parents can afford to let little Johnny fuck off to foreign parts for a jolly, especially when they may have other children in the queue to go as well.
Firstly, which stupid cunt of a headteacher dreams up this shit? How much kickback does the twat get? (don’t tell me they don’t) and what fucking benefit (educationally) does little Johnny get from a trip to Thailand, apart from having his arse reamed and his balls squeezed by some Gary Glitter cunt?
BTW, Teachers go free!
Bollocks to the snowflake, all giving, all squaring School Trip!
Nominated by Asimplearsehole
Back in 1985 my year was offered a trip to Moscow. I thought it sounded dreadful and declined. When the girls came back they confirmed that it was truly dire apart from the tube system.
Anyway re the op, 3k for a child to go to Thailand? Are they going business class?! Tell your grand daughter that Thailand isn’t as safe a place as it used to be and to wait until she’s older. The humidity will make her hair go frizzy and the mozzies will eat her alive. In the meantime you can flip on You Tube and show her some carefully chosen delights of all 3 places and then give her £20 for a day out at the nearest museum. If she’s old enough give her a copy of The Beach to read.
16
My son went to Moscow on a school trip that year!
4
teachers go business class, students baggage class
5
That woman has a lovely pair.
3
Whos choosing the destinations?
The headmasters probably got pierced nipples an wears rubber undies.
Loved school trips as a kid, Beaumaris an conway castle, Blue john mines & the devils arsehole (not made up google it) in castleton.
Fucking magic!
Stuck in my mind that much took my kids these places, still like visiting them now.
Thailand’s for kiddie fiddlers and frisco for bumboys.
Dont let em go!
16
He’s probably a chav in a suit
0
When I was in secondary school in the late 70s most school trips were either in Britain or France at best.
I never bothered with the latter because we couldn’t afford it (can’t remember prices); so I just stuck to places like Blackpool, Weston Super Shite, Brighton, and good old Blackpool.
Best thing about Blackpool was copping a feel of tit & arse of a rather pissed maths teacher. She was completely off her tits one night, and so me and 2 others “volunteered” to take her back to the B&B. Inevitably we all took advantage short of sticking my complex number up her quadratic equation!
As for this modern day shit – clearly someone is getting backhanders, because unless you’re from some private school I don’t see how ordinary parents at state schools can afford such ridiculous prices. And why so far away, and to learn what?
And wouldn’t this piss off St Greta and her legion of ecotots?
15
Hampton Court, the South Ken museums and ATC camps were as far as we got. Also away matches and London theatres doing Shakespeare (cue illicit rum and black at halftime in a bar round the corner). The dear old alma mater went co-ed, upmarket and touchy-feely after I’d left, so they do the full global monty now. They probably even have heating in the dormitories, the soft cunts.
11
I know a bloke who, as a teacher, organised a school trip to France, opening up a bank account for the money as it came in, in dribs and drabs. Unfortunately he was a gambling addict and blew away 35 grand on the horses. He got the sack but was lucky he didn’t end up in the nick. He drives a mini cab now. Soppy cunt.
11
Funny you should say that Freddie, it reminds me of a similar incident I was fortunate enough to witness in a past career on the railways.
We had an RMT shop steward who was a big union man, I think he fancied himself as South London’s answer to Bob Crow. Anyway I digress, it seems this fella had been collecting unauthorized union fees from various drivers and guards under the guise of an official union lottery. Needless to say it all came out in the wash after questions were asked and an investigation launched.
It turned out that he’d spent several thousand pounds on a new mobility scooter, a few hundred crates of white cider and a subscription to several dubious Dutch adult magazines.
You really can’t make this shit up. I guess the moral of the story is always ask the right questions.
10
In the under 16s I had a football coach who said he had a cheap source of quality footy boots, collected 40 bucks each from most of the team, then he just fucked off. Mitcham tigers 1980 what a fucking cunt.
2
Another good reason to stop child benefit (my tax money). If the Sods can afford to go gallivanting around the globe (in some style too at those prices) then they don’t need money out of my pocket.
Thailand indeed..it was the fucking cardboard-box factory for me.
18
Hehee never got over that Dick have you? 😀
7
Neither the fucking school trip or the sheer wickedness of stealing my money to pay for children to live the life of Reilly.
Afternoon,MNC.
7
Afternoon Dick.
I liked school, the trips, the school dinners, carefree time of your life.
Even learnt the odd thing.
Its a black day here, leathering it down, blustery winds, driving home was a car smashed to fuck all airbags an twisted metal,
Another car behind with a guy looking worried at the wheel.
Roads are dodgy near christmas fellow cunters, to many stressed and not concentrating shoppers about!
Be careful on the roads.
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Afternoon Miserable, the tight bastards never went to the beard comb factory though did they?
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Afternoon LL, no!
We went down caves in Derbyshire, castles in wales, an once let loose for shoplifting in York.
Posh kids like Fiddler going to cardboard box theme parks and still moaning!
As a young lad id of died of excitement to go a box factory.
6
Or like in The Simpsons, the cracker factory or if you were really well behaved, the cracker box factory.
5
school trip to France to buy flick knives and banger’s
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That wasn’t the criteria that’s what we did
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Sounds familiar!
Dieppe.
Snap crackle and chuck ‘em through the basement windows of the locals’ houses.
Thailand…? Cunts!
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As did we, the lads i went to school with weren’t the best academically, but they could clear out a souvenir shop in fucking seconds.
2
The irony of these selfsame teenager cunts getting permission to bunk off school on a Friday to protest over climate change in our High St is completely lost on them all.
Good to read some ISAC experiences from the 70s not too dissimilar to my own which was to go down a redundant coal mine (50ft max!) in Tondu, South Wales. I vividly remember getting my first ever (very very messy!) handjob from the school scrubber somewhere on the way back over the Severn Bridge. Still see her in town pushing her grandchildren’s prams around!!
PS classic cartoon there Admin!
8
We had a Geology field trip to the Isle of Wight.
I hadn’t taken much notice of the rumours about people on the IOW being a bit different but we hadn’t even got half way across the Solent and you could hear the banjos….
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Plenty of them in Southampton as well.
2
a bit off-topic, but apparently some PR agency (Stone Junction) has suggested that employees take a one hour paid leave in order to vote in the election on Thursday!
They’re suggesting that people are “very busy” and just don’t have time to vote, even though polling stations are open from 7am till 10pm!
What a stupid fucking idea! And why should employers have to pay for their cunts to take time out to vote?
9
Only remember two school trips- one to Bridlington where my mate Huw looked grey faced all the coach ride back, then as we pulled into the car park he projectile vommed all over the back seat causing a mass exodus, and one to France where I got wanked off by a lass called Emma with massive tits
15
Had to “like” this post just fir the mention of massive tits!
😛
8
The last school trip I went on was to Paris in the 70s aged 15.Spent the whole time drunk, shagged a prostitute saw some pictures. Thats it .Not a high viz vest in sight.
6
I used to to take the year 9 (third formers to you old cunts) to the IWM at Duxford each July. The weather was always wonderful and the kids very noisy as we boarded the coach to head back to Nottingham. We would call in at the American Cemetery at Madingley for half an hour. The change in the kids was striking; not a word out of any of them all the way home.
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You’re spot on sir – Maddingley is very sad when you look at the ages of those killed.
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Indeed, Duxford is a great place to visit, been there several times.
Madingley is rather a sobering, I hope the significance of the place still resonates with those now much older third formers.
1
The highlight of our 1986 excursion to the sewage treatment plant (I shit you not, boom boom) was a large pipe leading into a skip bin. We were told hard items such as false teeth, specs, coins, jewellery etc ended up there and were shown a small museum of such items. However the only thing within the skip was the fattest most gnarled turd I’ve ever seen. The one that beat the system, it must’ve hurt coming out. Cheapskate fucking Papist school.
10
Some of these trips sound intriguing, not like the ones I endured at primary school. An old coach, being told to sit near the front so I wouldn’t be sick, a really uninteresting place where there was nothing to do and a packed lunch (butties). The memory depresses me. Given the choice I’d have stayed at home.
At my next school they didn’t do trips at all. I missed out on all the fun, getting tossed off on the back seat would’ve been wonderful.
5
Not all it was cracked up to be Allan .
Mr Davis the PE teacher had callouses on his hands.
10
Evelyn Waugh used to toss of boys with his feet.
Makes me glad I didn’t go to a posh skool… (Skool is how the Danish English reacher spelt it. I fear she was never let loose on Shakespeare. She was NOT a good looker, either. But not in the Thunderbucket league of spaz-ugliness.)
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I think Greta would flip if she knew
Her potential followers were contemplating pumping tonnes of pollutants into the atmosphere all in the name of education,,
Get2fuck Hippocrates teachers aswell
4
School trips are only arranged so sir can get miss a bit merry then get to stick his tongue up her arsehole.
6
I used to love school trips.
I went on a college trip at age 17 to Calais. Fuck knows why, as all they did was let us out and off the ferry to do our own thing. There was no educational element to it at all!!
My friends Emma and Tara and myself proceeded to wander aimlessly through the place as every fucking shop was closed. It was Deadsville. The only establishments open were bars, so naturally we proceeded to partake of some “vin” and got right royally pissed as farts.
To this day, I have no memory of getting back to the ferry. I do however have a memory of locking myself in the bogs on the way back to Blighty for what seemed a millennia, staggering out on to the deck where I encountered my English teacher and told her she was the most wonderful teacher in the history of the world and that I loved her.
No lezziness involved, of course. Just far too much French white plonk.
Ah, memories.
15
My current squeeze went on a school trip to France many years ago. She won over £40 taking on a bet to drink a pint of Pernod on the ferry. That’s as far as she got.
5
Nurse, I went to Calais on a hovercraft. Everything was shut that day as well. A bar had a sign in the window saying ‘English Spoken’. Not one of the cunts spoke English. Lying bastards. Calais was a fucking dump and probably still is.
4
If that was the Hoverlloyd hovercraft out of Pegwell Bay Ramsgate, you should be deaf, the loudest thing I’ve ever heard, didn’t go on it but saw it a few times, impressive
4
Too right, Allan. It was a ‘closed for business’ shitehole.
Horrible grey day too which didn’t help, so booze was the only logical option!!
1
Parsons Turbines in Erith was bloody brilliant, I remember. Pre health and safety, death lurking at every turn, heavy engineering par excellence. Parsons was eventually mopped up by Siemens and does its production in Budapest now. Cunts.
5
Heavy engineering has completely disappeared in the UK. Must be the first generation to experience de-industrialisation. Whcih won’t be complete until we’re all freezing our bollocks off living in mud huts and cycling everywhere.
Anyway, I got to go to the Natural History Museum – whoopee!. Bring stout walking shoes and a packed lunch.
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The Flabbott lives in a mud hut, but she’s happy…no-one has told her yet… She still walks 5 miles a day (…) to get sewer water from Shadwell.
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Am I right in thinking that Charles Parsons invented the steam turbine? If so, another British invention exploited by foreigners. Graphene, invented at Manchester University but the U.K. comes way down the list in graphene related patents.
3
Yup – Parsons did invent it. Well, as with most “inventions” the theory had been around fro a while, but he managed to implement it into a working machine. Used to be a big factory in Newcastle. Think Siemens owns it now – or has it gone. Like the shipyards, Vivkers tank factory etc. ad nauseum.
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Vickers tank factory I meant
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With that spelling I thought that it had been taken over by the Rooskies. Give it time, it will be.
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Not sure what got moderated when I pointed out that just before the outbreak of WW1 Parsons were happily selling turbines to the Kriegsmarine, some of which powered their battleships and cruisers. While Krupp sold us (not enough) armour plate for ours. War=business opportunity and the flourishing of entrepreneurship.
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Mine came back a couple of weeks ago with proposals for a 1 month trip to Borneo – a tidy £5k is all they were looking for. The school has been giving it the hard sell too saying that you will be able to raise the cash with fundraising.
What total bollocks. The down payment is due straight away so I can imagine that a number of parents will get a few payments in (you got up to the first grand fairly quickly) and then ditch it. Obviously no payments are to be refunded of course.
I had a look at the accounts of the mob running it – they were showing a profit margin of 43% would you believe.
Robbing cunts – probably in need of a long haul cunting in their own right!
9
Rather than spending 3 grand on a trip to San francisco, the kiddies shoukd roll around in human faeces then visit a rehab clinic in London.
2
I can remember school trips being bsic trips to Windsor Safari park of local heritage sites, as well as a few pantimines and a week-long trip to Yorkshire. If you wanted to go abroad you had to join the French or German exchange. There was a bit of bad luck as ze Germans arrived after England had been knocked out on penalties by Germany in Euro ’96.
0
*pantomimes, silly cunt.
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Pantimine: short tunnel or adit concealed by knickers. Alternatively, exclamation by trans male during argument with sister.
0