The 1980s

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The 1980s…

I mean for fuck’s sake, I thought the 70s were bad, but having just watched some old pop videos – including old Phil Collins of all people – and the ghastly taste in fashion and hair sense, one wonders what the fuck were people thinking?

I was born in the early 60s, and my yoof was dominated by 70s fashion of platforms, flares, kipper ties and other fucking disasters. However, come the 80s and OMG, rather than advancing forward to a better decade of fashion sense, we end up with ghastly perms, shoulder pads the size of aircraft carriers, synthesizers, samplers, shite New Romantic music, brick mobile phones, yuppies, Filofax, CND, Michael fucking Foot, unemployment and video recorders that didn’t have remote controls to name but a few.

Personally, I adored the 90s, but the less said about the 20s the better. However, the 1980s was a total wankpit of shite, other than for Jo Guest and Linda Lusardi getting their tits on Page 3.

Nominated by Technocunt

106 thoughts on “The 1980s”

  1. Ah the 80s..
    Bruce Lee on the Commodore 64.
    A pint was 85p.
    VHS porn.
    Taping the Top 40.
    Excellent cunting!

    • I had a nicked copy of “The Lover’s Guide” on VHS i the 80s…. meant to be for teaching couples how to shag, like fuck; first legalised porn plain and simple!! The VHS tape on mine must have been stretched so thin you’d need a micrometer to measure it

      • Ah yes, the days of the video rental shop where you had to leave a £30 deposit to rent a film for one night, and if you were late returning it, or it was damaged then you lost your £30!

        And I had one of those recorders with the wired remote control, which was a godsend when FF and RW all the pervy bits from those Electric Blue softporn vids (purely for research purposes of course)

      • I remember films like ET and Jaws coming out on VHS, they were upwards of £100 a copy!

      • My dad used to bring home pirate copies of all the films, which is why when I was about 8, we sat down as a family to watch ‘I spit on your grave’.

        I recall my mother walked out of the room after the 2nd rape scene.

      • Linda Lusardi appeared in a porn mag, fat black haired pasty and big juicy tits, fucking lovely!
        The amount of fluid I lost, back in t’ day

  2. I was a teenager through the 80s,
    And while i agree it was a pretty grim period, its the time when id of been mostly concerned with trying to get into a girls knickers and trying to get into pubs.
    Some shite music in 80s but had the Smiths, as for fashion yeah bleak,
    Birds all had perms, orrible.
    Better than now though!
    Some duckie snowflake tried a tantrum then? DCI Genes giving them a lift.

      • Me too mate. He’s an odd one is Moz, obvious to all and sundry he’s a prize cunt but nevertheless an absolute genius. Vegan, animal rights nutter but also hates unlimited immigration…. think he’d do alright on here?? At least he speaks his fucking mind unlike all the other right-on cunts. Did you know he’s considered a God in Mexico and Latin America? They worship him – seen a concert down there where the crowd are weeping and falling at his feet like the second coming of the Beatles!! Never quite got the Fall, Mark E Smith is a funny cantankerous cunt though – don’t think there’s ever been a member of the band on more than one album or tour cos he sacks them all!

      • Mark E Smith sacked someone from band for ordering a salad😀
        Loved that little guy, argumentative as fuck! Hed thrive on here!
        Morrissey i respect, might not agree with everything he says but, he thinks for hisself, not bothered what anyone else thinks, i respect him.
        Yeah, heard hes big in the latino communities?!
        Gangbanger mexican gangs with Moz tattoos etc
        Wouldnt of thought that would you?

      • A lot of Moz’s solo stuff is ace as well. I do like the way Mark E Smith “sings” – knows full well he can’t sing for toffee se he just does that weird yelp! Speaking of bad things from the 80s, I’ve just seen an ad for an upcoming Kylie Minogue special on channel 4; fuck me she’s done well to stretch no talent whatsoever as fas as she has!! Alan Carr and other assorted queens mincing about telling her what a legend she is, if she hadn’t had the pink pound to rely on she’d be as famous today as Q Lazzarus

      • A few years ago, I saw a Mexican Morrisey tribute band. Superb. Weird to listen to the songs in Spanish!

      • Yes Mexrissey I think they’re called!! Not a piss take either, done with genuine adulation

      • The fall had a back catalogue way too vast for me to get into but I really like their album extricate, which I shoplifted from HMV in Bromley in 1990.

        Loved New order too and seen them quite a few times back in the day.

      • Favourite Fall album: I Am Kurious Oranj
        Favourite Fall track: Jerusalem

        🎶
        I was walking down the streets
        When I tripped up on a discarded banana skin
        And on my way down, I caught the side of my head
        On a protruding brick chip
        It was the government’s fault
        It was the fault of the government
        I was very let down from the budget
        I was expecting a one million quid handout
        I was very disappointed
        It was the government’s fault
        It was the fault of the government
        I became a semi-autistic type person
        And I didn’t have a pen, and I didn’t have a condom
        It was the fault of the government
        I think I’ll emigrate to Sweden or Poland
        And get looked after properly by a government 🎶

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SBl2cLgaq8U&t=31s

      • I loved the fact the late lamented Smith hated Wiley the “DJ” – talent melts snowflake with a DF type “FUCKOFF”
        Quality

  3. Not for me I’m afraid, Techno…I actually liked the Eighties.

    What I’ve found is that every successive decade since the Eighties has gone downhill at an increasingly quick rate. I sometimes wonder just how much lower Society has to go before we reach the bottom of the barrel.

    I’d go back to the Eighties in a heartbeat.

      • Didn’t know you were of the 2-wheeled persuasion dick! RD350s, nasty little 2-stroke buggers; 250 version not much better and you could ride them on L-plates! Surely the horses are more comfy these days

      • No bikes for years now CtheC.
        I see people my age and older on bikes nowadays and just think Good Luck to them but it’s not for me anymore.
        Must admit that some of my best times were probably when I had that bike…lovely girlfriend ( the only person that I will ever regret fucking-over in my life),good friends and some fucking wild times.

        I’m actually getting quite nostalgic thinking back to those days.

      • I must admit I was horrified to see a bloke I know in his 60s go out and buy one of the top-of-the-range BMW tourer things….. it’s not a bike for me when it weighs the same as a Fiat 500. Never sure what to make of the blokes at bike shows you see in wheelchairs, missing arms, legs due to bike accidents – either very committed or the definition of stupid

      • 350 LC? Ouch, in my experience – left it to my younger Brother, he appeared not to feel pain

      • Apparently, Westgate Road was where all the nicked bikes ended up to be broken. I’m a Londoner, but have family in Newcastle. I remember going down there in th 80s looking for a spare part for a bike.

        Yes, love 2-strokes. The smell and noise, and the fact they were so simple to fix, was part of my youth I fondly remember. And the rock nights at the Royal Standard in Walthamstow. Suzi Quattro used to do it for me….

      • I passed my motorcycle road test and CBT back in ’87.

        I was riding around on a 12hp Kawasaki AR125. It looked pretty smart with the red/black half-fairing, but because of the law it could only churn out 12 horses for learners. Still quick enough, but then I soon moved up to a Kwaka GPZ900R – one of the best bikes I’ve ever ridden, although the handling was a bit harsh.

        Of course back then I was free and single. But since I got married any thoughts of bikes soon went out the window.

      • Man after my own heart – Kwak 900s are ace, still got a 99 ZX9R, not much outpaces it still (new bikes slay it on Hp but handling and suspension so extreme they are all but useless on normal roads)

      • Squires Coffee Bar in Sherburn – in Elmet, love it, has now moved to Newthorpe, just down the road, after complaints from those with no life or penis!

        And apologies to the chip shop owners whose wall I bounced my Katana off (the 1100 not the gutless vibey 1000)

      • Westgate Road, oh yes. Bikes from end to end, and in the 90’s still a good few old Brit classics too. Sorry it’s gone multicultural now. What was your machine, Dick?

      • RD 350LC.

        I’d had a Superdream before that and can remember that the upgrade came as quite a shock for a day or two.

      • A friend of mine had a detuned Elsie, which I managed to ride for a couple of miles. Nice old-school bike, but a right bitch to keep under control.

      • I bet it did. Guy over the road when I lived near Durham had one and was definitely shocked when he noticed the speedo as he traversed a tight bend – couldn’t stop telling me about it. Causing some envy. At the time I had a Suzi GSX 250, being impoverished, and that was only slightly better than the smaller Superdream.

      • Not me. BSA C11G. Various old Brits and a Dnepr and many years later, ridden on largely police-free roads, legality became an issue (see Insurance thread) and I had to get reborn. RG125, which, derestricted, was quite an interesting little ‘un until the engine seals blew.

  4. Great cunting.

    I was a hormonal teen in the early to mid 80’s – always looking to empty the winkybag into some cutie with a perm, gold hoop earrings and a rah rah skirt.

    I experienced more crevices than a seasoned potholer in the 80’s.

    *sigh*

    • Fuck me, memories, Paul! Trying to do The Upside Down DJ on some bird with a Ra-Ra skirt at the disco!

  5. I’m with Dick on this one, I didn’t mind the 80s. What I don’t like is the current obsession for 80s nostalgia in films, TV, music and such; programmes (yes that’s right thicky septics, not “programs”) like Stranger Things and films like Ready Player One; what the fuck’s that all about? The 80s were ok at the time but I don’t really want to relive them – grow up you weirdos!!

    • The 90s were good, i had plenty of money, partying, my kids were born mid 90s, then nothing after that!
      A cultural wasteland full of trannies, nancyboys, lefties and immo filth.
      Fuck this im off to work,
      Time travel? Ticket for miserable please!

      • Yeah I preferred the 90s too mate. I had an argument with a bloke I used to work with, he said there was not one single good song released in the 80s; clearly a cunt. Depeche Mode, OMD, The Cure, Tears For Fears, New Order, too many to list – yes there was lots of shite but there is in every decade, you only remember the good stuff

      • The 80’s have an undeserved bad reputation when it comes to music. In retrospect I reckon it was one of the best decades. I was a teen in the 90’s and loved it, but I don’t think the music holds up as well now.

      • The 90s were ruined for me by Anthony Blair and his cock-sucking (literally) followers and toadies, who enouraged widespread immigration, poofery in public life which continues to this day as does Blair himself. The loss of Margaret Thatcher from government and the fucking awful minor Major, which led to all those years of New Labour quee. rness. Brown and his shitty “golfden rules” and selling our gold reserves at bargain basement prices. Just the other day his pansy “adviser” Baron (no less!) Livermore was on Wireless 4 holding forth about Labour problems, as if anyone need give a fuck for at least 5 years, and more likey 15 if that half cast Clive Lewis becomes their leader orBulldyke Phillips or Fatarse Thornberry.

        Hopefully 2020 onwatrds will eradicate the memories of the 90s.By comparison the 80s or even 70s were nowhere near as bad as that shit decade. End of rant.

      • @Boggs. I was listening to Tony’s ‘analysis’ of what happened in the election. He loves to take an in depth sweeping look at the political situation periodically. I noticed he didn’t say Labour lost because of Brexit (which they did). He couldn’t say that because then he would have had to concede that he was on the wrong side of the argument.
        Then all about if Labour continue to stay on the hard left etc…But it was you I thought that has produced this generation of hard left politicians. It was all a reaction to your tenure as Prime Minister. The whole Corbyn bullshit was to do with the shame people felt at Blair’s military adventures. People wanted to get right away from the right of the party. He destroyed the ‘right’ of the party. There is no ‘right of the party’ anymore.
        Because Blair fucked it up for all eternity with his wars.

      • I think you’re completely right there Miles.
        To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

      • The Hard-Left are a minority in the Labour Party. The British do not take kindly to extremists, either Left or Right.

        Corbyn would have lost regardless of Brexit.

      • We’ve gone from a warmonger, responsible for many deaths to an ‘opposition’ leader who’s frightened of his own shadow and would undoubtedly have been a threat to the security of this country, had he been given a chance.

      • This is the clown who said that Labour failed because Jezza’s policies were not left wing enough!!!
        I hope this cunt becomes leader as this would be the knockout blow for them.

      • The 90s was my favourite decade by far, not least for Britpop and the indie scene – especially Garage, House, Trance, Handbag = illegal raves at some far flung warehouse until 6 in the morning.

        The arrival of Blair in 97 was the turning point of course, and it all went to shit from there.

      • I am with you there TC – I had some epic nights. The Fridge, Mass & a rather freaky experience at Torture Garden.

        In those days we went out on the Friday to an Escape from Samsara night, Sunny Side Up from 10 on Saturday morning, out again Saturday night and s0oaked it off in the pub through Sunday till midnight. Don’t know how I survived….

  6. Sorry, I loved the 80’s, Techno. As mentioned, some cracking music. Dubious fashion, though, I’ll give you that, but, we thought we looked good at the time. Capri 2.8 Injection was available new. Only low point was the threat of nuclear war! ‘Threads’, anyone?

    • I forgot about the ever present threat of nuclear armageddon…too busy chasing loose young ladies!
      Threads was and remains very good indeed.

      • I’m plucking up the courage to get the DVD and watch the documentary of the making of it. Gave me nightmares when I first saw it and still gives me the odd one, even now. Considering some of the sh*t I see, that’s some achievement.

        (Hopefully, this won’t go into moderation).

      • It did!!!!! What’s the buzzword for that????

        Unfortunately you locked on to a banned IP, not you just the shit in the area your phone locked on to.

      • In a proper headfuck kind of way I wonder if it’s the word ‘moderation’? Can’t see what else! Ah well, admin moves in mysterious ways

  7. The decade that saw me through teenage years until 23. Bloody great memories. Some great music in the early half of the decade, admittedly lots of shit in the 1986-1988 era, which watching the old TOTP on BBC 4 has reinforced. Yazz bouncing around like a badly dressed gibbon.
    But a decade where I could happily shoot my load 6 times a day has to be remembered with affection. And as Fiddler pointed out every decade since has been worse.

  8. I had the time of my life in the 80s, so I’m sorry I can’t agree. Never mind the fashion, even the language is different. You could still say community without it being a buzzword for something else.

  9. Feel so blessed to have been born in the ’50s, and young in the ’60s and ’70s.

    The ’80s were a real come down. The 2000’s, so far, have been the pits.

    But….

    THIS COUNTRY IS RISING LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES!

    (Does the sad deluded fuck really believe that? – Ed.)

    Won’t be fooled again Cunters, ha-ha!

    • Our only hope is that the next decade is better than the last. I don’t hold much hope though. My kids came back from school last week telling me that the teachers were saying how bad Boris Johnson was and how wonderful the Labour Party were. I immediately corrected them, but all being brainwashed in education.

      I imagine the wokeness will continue until we are in the minority.

    • Years ago I saw a porn vid of a bloke filming himself inserting a glass bottle up his brown bag. The problem was the bottle broke half way in and you could see him struggling to pull the broken glass out of his bleeding hole.

      We never saw the end because he reached out and turned the camera off. How he explained that at the local hospital fuck only knows.

      WTF! why would you watch such a thing? we only google this shit because we put the links on here, its not a personal fetish! do you think I stick live eels up my arse?

      • Well from what Night Admin told me, he does have some rather incriminating evidence regarding one of the Day Admins inserting all sorts of things up his ‘arris!

        Of course i find that hugely unbelievable

        probably

    • Saw an x-ray of a bloke who ‘sat’ on a shampoo bottle, recently. He was in a bad way. Crew blued him straight to resus. How they did the pre-alert with a steaight face escapes me.

      • Bloke I knew back the 80’s got rushed to hospital after inserting a hoover extension tube up his arse..

        When I heard what happened I phoned the hospital to see how was doing and they said “He’s picking up nicely”!

    • Poor bastard – it’s such a common accident! (just shifting my position so the hamster can get to the bottle of JD up there, well it is Christmas..)

  11. The age of the sony walkman, elaborate hairstyles and aids if I remember.
    Most of which I missed as I was in a Military boarding school, main events the Army storming the police station next door in the 84 coup and spending the night on the floor downstairs because of the bullets hitting the house.
    No big hair, drugs and discos for me.

  12. Jim’ll fix it, it’s a knockout, Rolf’s cartoon time… Was a great time to be a kid if you ask me

    • Uncle Mac, the BBC Children’s radio presenter was also the corporation’s first kiddy fiddler; he was not exposed as such during his lifetime, the nasty duplicitous CUNT.

  13. I was born in the early 70s and having been early to mid teens through the 80s then I’ll have to disagree with the cunting (apolgies techno). Maybe it’s the fond memories of fingering Nicola in the school library or the thrill of buying booze underage from the local liquor store, but the 80s where fan-fucking-tastic as far as I can recall.
    Or I’m fully senile and those are the only two things I can remember at all.

  14. Being born in the late 70s…I know naffink abaaaht it.
    Although I remember seeing NF written abaaaht the place.
    Best thing to come out of the 80s were proper Synthesisers and finding a bag of porn magazines by the warehouses.

    • Still readable scuzz mags B&W or pages stuck together like superglue had been liberally applied? The former then you’re a lucky cunt, the latter then welcome to the club.

      • I dread to think what I was touching on those dirty magazines when I was a young lad Kiwicunt, I was too concerned with wanking over the pictures etc. Porn has become too graphic these days with loads of subject’s available at the click of a button.

      • When I worked in a kitchen one of the guys bought in a bumper bundle of dutch porn mags, I banned them and they got all arsey with me until I pointed out that people don’t just read them they wank over them and I was not having them wipe cock all over the food.

  16. ‘Morning associate cunts. For anybody who can’t decide on that special appropriate gift;

    cuntgifts.com

    Nice!

  17. It must be an age thing. In spite of the negative points raised, I’m starting to feel a nostalgic affinity with the eighties, it was optimistic, unlike recent times.

  18. But… but.. the 1980s were brilliant. Ready, player One and Stranger Things?

    How dare you criticise Stranger Things, Trump voter! RREEEE!!

    (Wasnt Jo Guest a boobs-out model of the 90s?)

    • Joe Guest, I’m with you all the way there, Techno. Great looking, fantastic tits. I’ve abused myself a few times over her.

  19. I was a kid in the 1980,s and compared to today it seemed much more principled and genteel. Apart from glue sniffers , race riots , Aids and Eric the bummer our friendly neighbourhood pederast.

    • Service, off the leash, big rifle and no consequences – oooooooooh how I miss those halcyon days!

  21. At the time, I loathed the 80’s. I was a neurotic teenager, skinny, full of angst with bad hair (as above) spots and a pupil at the world’s bitchiest all girls school on Planet Earth. Everything sucked, big time.

    I personally think for fashion and hair, the 80’s were the fucking worst decade ever! Just awful. Mullets, shoulder pads, legwarmers, perms and that New Romantic look that made everyone resemble some twat out of a Barbara Cartland novel.

    PUKE.

    BUT!! Looking back now, those days were much simpler and we didn’t have to tolerate all of the PC shit that we do now – gender issues, sexuality issues, not farting upwind in case someone is offended by your bowel gas, etc, etc. We all just got on with life then

    Plus, we had none of the mobile phone and internet cuntery that we do now. When I talk to my young cousins about having to use a phone box to call home, they look at me like I have beamed here straight from Mars. They haven’t got a bloody clue.

    Music too was so much better than now. Yes, we had the synthesized shite, but generally speaking REAL singers with REAL voices, and songs with an actual structure and tune, unlike the computer generated bollocks nowadays.

    I still wouldn’t have my teen years back though. Fuck that fuckery.

    Just one other question: when exactly did I morph into my Mother? After this rant, the resemblance is uncanny…….

  22. I loved some of the 80s. Apart from Optimus Prime dying in the film. Megatron, you can of can’t! The soundtrack to that film is ace. Instruments Of Destruction. Fork yea.

    The Sinclair Zx Spectrum. I can remember the sound and the feeling I got when it was loading. Waiting for the picture to appear.
    Scrolling coloured pencils behind it as it loads. To me, it looked like coloured pencils rolling on a conveyor belt. The sound “Durrrrrrrrr skick! Murrrrr nurrrrr shcreeeerrrrr durrrr skick!” etc.

    The Atari ST. Ahhh. Instantly loaded, sort of.

    Knightrider, the A Team, Airwolf.

    The A team was awesome. When the baddies got shot they’d clutch themselves but there would be no blood.

    The 1989 batmobile. Yessss

    Heman, thundercats, transformers, mask, jayce and the wheel warriors. Pole position, the real ghost busters, GI Joe, banana man, bodger and badger, superted, danger mouse.
    Grangehill.

    Knightmare. When Treyguard would speak I’d believe every word. “Warning team. A manifestation is occurring!”

    Game shows back then.

    Big hair, big glasses.

  23. 1988 was the year that music started slipping down the shitter. In the years leading up to then there were the odd rap songs, but they were largely benign, and still a bit of a novelty, one that was hopefully going to pass. However, by 1988, more and more tuneless cunts, aided by the emerging technology of sampling, were making easy money from the hard of thinking. Also, this was the year that fucking dance music took off, with every other track on the radio being one of these repetitive piles of crap. It also set a baseline for what was saleable, and that bar was then set pretty low. Four bars of a mindless sample beat, repeated ad nauseum, while some chump or slag sings about five words over and fucking over. A DJ before then was just an annoying cunt on the radio or an annoying cunt at a wedding. Cunts. I remember having a conversation with this guy about music once, and he said he was doing a gig at the weekend. I asked him what did he play, and he replied he was a DJ. How the fuck can playing records at a disco be a gig? Get fucked.

    • Spot on. I flick through the Top Of The Pops 1988 in double quick time due to the amount of shite that was on it back then. Watched all the way through from 1976 to 1986. Crept downhill from then.

      • Spot on mate, it’s exactly how I came to that conclusion. I’ve been enjoying them on BBC4, but you can actually see the tipping point. And worse it’s going to get!

  24. 88 and 89 were ace… The Roses, Mondays and Inspirals…Before that Rutles Gallagher shite surfaced… Some great raves and clubs int those days and all… Manchester was great in the late 80s…

    Football was great in the 80s too… Proper players like Robbo, Sparky, Big Paul McGrath, Frankie Stapleton, Remi Moses and Norman Whiteside… Some top clashes with Liverpool back then and not a Sky Sports cunt or Paul Pogba twat in sight… No phone loving selfie tourist fans, half/half scarves and Twittermongs either…

    Thing is though, millennial spunkstains asscociate the 80s with bad shite like Dead Or Alive and Bananarama… Those films full of ET rip off cunts in hoodies on BMX bikes (like Ready Player Cunt) don’t help either…

    And 80s Page 3? Gail McKenna and Corrine Russell were the creme de la fucking creme..

    https://thumb-p8.xhcdn.com/a/jWsFm3mNPypCWXTl-sgHZw/000/070/362/508_1000.jpg

    https://cdn5-images.motherlessmedia.com/images/1B27B5F.jpg

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