May I respectfully request an urgent cunting for the ignorant scum who choose to bury unwanted chilled or frozen food, previously selected, in with electrical goods, household detergents, jam rags or anywhere else other than where they picked it up from, so it can simply spoil or rot away. Another example of the “I don’t give a shit about anybody else”, amongst us.
Lazy, ignorant, cunts.
I once witnessed an obese, tattooed (big hearts and roses) slag who suddenly noticed that her snot-dripping sprog was carrying an item he’d nicked off a shelf, so she removed it from him and simply winged it through the air into the fruit and veg some 20 ft away.
Fucking slag.
Nominated by SpleenVenter
Away in a manger
5
I like to leave bacon products in the Halal section or rub a raw sausage over the produce in the Vegetarian section before stuffing it into a packet of Quorn.
39
Scüm supermarkets?
We just have a Aldi and a Sainsbury’s.
Anyway, yeah its terrible an that, bit lazy, but if im honest I don’t give a fuck.
Supermarkets are minted, let them employ someone to collect stuff ive put back on wrong shelf.
Helping the economy doing my bit.
12
Morning chaps, nice avatar Fiddler, a bit of class around here at last. Is this one you commissioned of yourself or a long dead ancestral Fiddler?
6
It’s in honour of The Hunt meeting at my place today..unfortunately I won’t be able to join them on horseback due to my gout playing up,but I should be able to join the Young Farmers on the quad-bikes who are running security in case any undesirables attempt to disrupt our sport.
The painting is ,of course,one from my own extensive and valuable Art collection…it is of me at most Magnificent.
Morning,LL
Morning All.
9
Dick, settle a debate for me!
Some goofy woman near us reckons horse riding takes skill and focus and a symbiotic connection between man and equine.
I said ‘does it fuck’.
Just got to be sat facing the right way round.
After all horse racing is professional riding and they train midgets to do it!!
Is she confused or just a big spastic?
10
Well MNC, you neighbour is correct.
I am,of course,a renowned Sportsman…huntin’,shootin’,fishin’….I excel at them all. Horse riding is unlike push-bike riding…you need skill to control a half ton of straining muscle particularly as we soar over 6 foot high gates in pursuit of our quarry. Yes.you can just sit like a sack of spuds on some old moke,but that’s not really horsemanship.
It makes a Rider of courage and moral-fibre to really excel at The Sport.
4
Ill take your word for it Dick, youd know better than me, but ive regularly rode on Blackpool beach and it doesnt seem that difficult! Admittedly that was donkeys.
Them midgets ( usually oirish) that they use get paid quite well dont they?
Surely financial common sense dictates training a monkey would be better? About the same weight & appearance?!
Lying back like sack of spuds with half ton of writhing muscle? Mrs miserable can relate!!😀
7
LL…My painting is entitled….” The Unhinged in Pursuit of the Unspeakable”….never really understood why the artist called it that,but I gave him a damn good horsewhipping for his impudence anyhow.
Tally Ho
10
Wilde had fox hunting as “the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible” I don’t trust his call about the tally-hoers but regarding fox meat, is that true? Has anyone here tried fox?
5
Ive had Fox biscuits and yes theyre nice.
4
Morning Dick.
“a half ton of straining muscle”
Is that another one of your infamous euphemisms?
In our family we call it thrôbbing grîstle.
7
In our house its known as the ‘Matterhorn’.
Not many reach the top an it leaves them breathless.
5
MNC
The top jocks. are well paid…and they earn every penny of it, I reckon. Must admit that a lot of them do appear to be very angry little Irishmen.
7
RTC….a full-grown stallion would appear underdeveloped if compared to my “love-bayonet”
6
MNC….Matterhorn? More like MatteryHorn in your case, I suspect.
4
“a half ton of straining muscle”
Is that where the nursery rhyme comes from
🎶 Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross 🎶
4
Morning Blunty, how was the three bird roast? Did Percy survive? Creampuff had me stuffing the turkey at 6.00am mumbling something about “Owen Jones never used to complain about being elbow deep up an arse, bloody staff”.
6
If you fancy a Boxing Day laugh MNC, Google one particular fellow who certainly wasn’t in control of the horse he was “riding”; ‘Mr Hands’.
I would post a link but I don’t fancy a Ban for Christmas thanks! Video is out there for the curious…
4
Just checked this one out. Apparently, the willing recipient of the horse meat died from internal injuries.
Darwinism at work again.
2
Absolutely Paul! Believe it or not he was a fucking aerospace engineer for Boeing
1
Oh yes Boxing Day. I bet the ‘sabs’ were up early as well. I wonder is the Particular Poster a ‘sab’ Mr F? He’s probably up there now in camouflage; dressed as a beagle.
‘sab’…saboteur…are they proud of the word? It’s a military word isn’t it? Violette Szabo was recruited as a saboteur I know, sent into occupied France to help the Resistance blow up trains, military installations. They made a film about her ‘Carve Her Name with Pride’. She was shot.
Would take a tad more courage to use diversionary tactics to blow up a train than diverting the scent of a fox I would have thought.
5
LL@9.38
Good Morning LL. Unfortunately Percy is still with us!
I didn’t have the heart to eat him after his accident. He was out in the garden taking in the air, when he was hit by a mystery drone.
I think he might have a broken wing.
He was fattening up well and is quite obese.
When he does die,
It will be a real weight off of my shoulder.
2
Probably best for all Blunty, Fiddler seemed quite excitable about the hunt and Percy may have been collateral damage if he strayed into view.
1
LL – Pending Willie Stroker’s return to work, have you been able to obtain a reference from Lord Creampuff as to your suitability for future in service work?
I would imagine he made you sign a non disclosure agreement. Its a shame you’re not able to reveal some of the goings on at Creampuff Manor!
Did the butler really do it?
😀
3
Indeed Blunty, if I ever get around to writing my memoirs, I will spill the beans. As he likes to say “My vengeance is total” or something similar, just ask the unfortunate scullery maid who voted Lib Dem, haven’t seen her since.
4
👁 I’m watching you LL.
My arm is long and….
4
Sir I tip my hat to you,
You are a gentleman and a scholar.
Well done.
I do like to rub my genitals on the halal meat section just to add that certain scrotum flavour to there stinking meat.
2
Some years ago I watched one of these cunts put a leg of lamb in with some cans. I put the lamb back where it belonged, then followed the bitch around randomly putting ambient stuff in her trolley when she wasn’t looking. The dozy cunt didn’t even notice till she started putting it onto the belt at the checkout, the look of puzzlement on her face was priceless as she was whining ‘I didn’t put that in the trolley!’ I’d be more than happy to do it again.
23
What is s supermarket? Fortnum’s do deliver, you know. Utter peasants.
However, there is a corner shop that I sometimes wander into: Harrods.
Common scum,the lot of you.All except Herr Fiddler of course.
I have had another lawyers letter from the Justin Bieber fan club. I thought the ticket said backstage fist and fuck.Apparently it said meet and greet….
9
What happened to the Leslie Ash nom?
2
Good cunting and a prime example of the inconsiderate ‘someone else will do it’ mentality that should have been beaten out of some people at childhood.
9
Supermarkets are cunt magnets, the problem I’ve had for a few weeks is the normal stock has been reduced to make way for Christmas tat.
There is a very limited amount of stock to begin with as half the shop has been turned into a home wares store and another part rented out to burtons or some such clothing store.
So fuck them, I’m glad the customers show them as much respect as they show us.
3
The picture, the lady is smiling but she is muttering obscenities. 🙂
4
That sort of attitude is taught as part of the induction.
3
She is doing what most of us do, Spoony.
Put on a sweet smile while cursing underneath how mankind is a pile of cunt.
3
Supermarkets are where you realise the human race isn’t worth saving. We have a couple of generations of cunts who have no connection with the privations of WW2, either grandparents or parents (in my case) who remember rationing.
What the peasants seem not to realise is that the waste of food, littering, trolley abandonment all costs money which is passed on to the customer.
And our continued insistence on buying Chinese crap is proof nobody really cares about the environment. The human race is fucked.
5
Fuck the Chinese, they won’t be satisfied until they’ve killed/dried/grated/powdered every animal on the planet to help a cold/get a hard-on/treat piles/cure fucking cancer. We should kill/dry/grate/powder the fucking Chinese and use the resulting crap as a sand substitute to fill in between hardcore when building new roads. Then start on the Africans, the won’t need fresh water if they’re going to be dessicated. We’ll be well shot of the cunts.
10
Spot on Mog, proper Dark Ages fuckers are our little yellow friends
6
Ill second, thirded?.. That.
Chinks are like the fucking Klingons!
Not content till all life on earth is either in the wok or a medicine bottle.
Should be a bounty £10 for every chink yellow carcass or scalp handed in.
Might sound slightly racist, but its green and genocide!
Best of both worlds.
6
F*cking good sheep re-education camps though! (It’s, er – “His Lamb” you see!)
4
chinese people (?) think differently from normal western mores. I recall reading a while back a chinese fellow was asked how he felt about shooting an elephant. He replied it excited him, asked further he said “sexually”. It gave him a hard on (all two inches of it). Disgusting heartless zomboid drones.
3
Superstitious pet eating cunts, they are rewriting all the religious books for the Chinese, to make them more compatible with their faux commie society. Locusts.
4
Q: What do you call a desiccated African?
A: A côcoa nut.
3
From my experience, Morrison’s (Morriscum’s) seems to attract the lowest denominator of society. Constant shoplifting, chav-shouting in the car park, scummy-mummies pushing prams whilst wearing pyjama bottoms and slippers. The staff there are all seem to have been hand picked out of the human reject-bin, and can barely communicate on a multi-syllabic level. To sum up – they mong-like staff and the scum customers deserve one another. I’ll get down off my moral high horse now.
4
It’s the same useless cunts who throw litter on ground when standing a few feet from a rubbish bin.
Sadly there a lot of cunts like this and we are still importing more from Eastern Europe and beyond.
Cunts
9
On the plus side it’s much easier to get into town in Bostongrad since the influx of our gimmegrant friends; a gentle shove from the mrs in the right direction and I can simply slide there on the mile-long carpet of Eastern Euro phlegm like a Vicks-sponsored Christopher Dean. Very diligent they are, as soon as a bare spot is noticed one will be along within seconds to deposit a nice fresh docker’s omelette in the gap.
5
A great cunting Spleen. Cunts who do this just typify the mindless ‘me’ generation. Worst of all are those cunts who rob something like a packet of biscuits on their way round, stuff most of them as they go, then shove what’s left in the frozen food cabinet or somewhere. Fat, thieving shits. We are talking about supermarkets here, who are themselves cunts, but it makes me fucking mad all the same.
Morning cunters!
7
Where are you Spoons?
You must have some interesting stories to tell on this subject.
3
I am here, Bertie. No worries. I hope you and your Percy are well and had a nice Christmas. 🙂
Regarding shoppers putting stuff on the shelf in the wrong place, i haven’t witnessed anyone do it, but I see items randomly on shelves that is sold in the shop.
Also, empty crisp packets, half empty drinks, mcdonalds paper drink cups and burger wrappers, dirty underwear etc.
Crazy.
2
The thing that gets right on my tits is when you join the queue with, for example, a basket containing a load, a pint of milk, and a pot noodle. In front of you is one of these morbidly obese tattooed slags, with three or four yapping dixie lids in tow, and she’s got a shopping trolley full to the brim of all sorts of shite. Now, when I’m in the queue with a lot in my basket, and someone behind me has a few items, I’ll always offer them to go ahead of me. But does fat slag ask me? No. She starts slowly lifting all her high fat, high sugar and high salt items onto the conveyer belt at a snail’s pace while I’m stood there almost being sick at the overwhelming stench of B.O. and cheap copy perfume emanating from fatso in front of me. Then, as a final insult, she’ll start sending her sprogs around the shop to get items that she has, ahem, “forgot”, therefore practically doubling her load. Naturally, the thick dixie lids are unable to follow simple instructions and cannot find the items they’ve been sent for, ensuring that fatty herself has to waddle off and find the items herself, at a snail’s pace, as her bulk and general laziness won’t permit her to go any faster. Should you say anything, or even glare at her, you’ll be met with cries of “Fuck off! I’ve recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, you cunt!!”.
7
What cultural soup do these creatures arise from
3