Last Christmas…
Being in the mood for something light and Christmassy I went to see this film the other week. Now before I’m told “serves you right” or “why are you seeing a bird’s film then eh?”, I don’t mind romantic comedies if they’re done well. And don’t feature Bill “versatile” Nighy. But this one was most definitely not done well.
It was co-written by Emma “do as I say, not as I do proles” Thompson, a woman who I used to consider irritating, but now consider an irritating cunt. The lead character is a Yugoslav immigrant who we are told likes Wham!/George Michael, although this is never elaborated upon, being simply an excuse to string various hits through the soundtrack.
Every featured character is foreign, coloured, gay, disabled etc. The only straight, white, able-bodied, English male is a racist on the bus (“speak English in MY COUNTRY”). No, not making this up.
Add to this an anti-Brexit message to make Jo Swinson froth at the gash – it’s equated to Serbian genocide (really, I’m not making this up,) an Asian/West Indian couple (two groups who famously intermingle), lovable tramps taking part in a talent show (again, not making this up) and Dame Emma herself playing the mother, all malapropisms and funny singing, delivering the Serbian equivalent of an Uncle Tom performance (Uncle Tomek?)
The plot is also identical to the play, “I and You”. Not just similar, fucking identical. The bloke she starts dating is actually dead, she received his heart as a transplant. Which I’m not sure is the correct interpretation of the title song lyrics. And it wasn’t an original idea when “I and You” used it either. Oh, spoilers.
The critics seem unanimous in their disdain as well, even the fucking Guardian, whose wet dream this pile of shit is. Utter cunt of a film.
Nominated by Guardian Hater
Fingers crossed for one of those old-fashioned movie set curses you don’t hear about anymore, like The Exorcist and Poltergeist where various cast and crew members dropped dead, had serious accidents etc. (Obviously all bollocks but makes a good myth).
With luck old Saint Emma will catch Marburg fever from an infected gimmegrant on one of her transatlantic jollies (that for some reason are perfectly acceptable for her to take) and pass it on to little Gretchen and co. Full of the joys of Xmas me!😀🥳
23
The Management went to see this on her own last Wednesday. I refused to go on account of I didn’t want my hair to bleed and or just be emotionally and intellectually assaulted by the kind of sloppy Wellyboot top cuntery that has become the vomit inducing Cuntmas RomCom.
A part of me has no sympathy for the nominator. You should have known better. And if you went with an open mind, clearly these cunts have gotten to you. 🙂
18
Have you lost your marbles? What on earth inspired you to pay to watch anything with the egregious ET? My fellow cunts and I are unable to give you any support in this instance.
27
I couldn’t possibly offer support to anybody who is rich enough to be able to afford to go to the pictures.
16
I second that. ET has so many ISAC nominations, that there is no way any good could have come from going to see it.
4
After several hours of cogitation I feel that there is only one solution. You are to arrive at Fiddler’s estate on Boxing Day. At a suitable hour the hounds of the bucolic St Dick will be released. May whichever deity you follow have mercy on your soul.
The only consolation for you is that your end will prevent any other of the Brotherhood of Cunts following your perverted path.
15
If emila clarke aka game of thrones cunt is in it it will probably be mildly popular even if its shit. Scrolling through Wikipedia looks like Emma Thompson annoying champagne socialist co produced it, stars in it and helped write the screenplay so no surprise it checks off all the boxes for social justice malarkey.
Ohh and that knob who directed that horrible all women ghostbusters film, Paul Feig directed this so yep no surprise there, I’m avoiding this romcom like the plague
13
Lady C made me sit through another ET DVD while we were holidaying in Gran Canaria. Late Night it was called – absolutely fucking atrocious. I could have told you the rest of the script after 5 minutes. Fucking tripe.
7
I bet Thomson wouldn’t have shown such humility for gimmicunts had she been involved in that terrorist attack on London bridge last weekend! She would have probably shit herself had that cunt tried to stab her to death, no doubt pleading for help from plod to save her!
That’s the problem with these Libtard cunts who write or talk on tv about how wrong the police were to kill that cunt. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, especially when you’re far removed from the incident, and safely tucked up in a studio or at home, where you can bullishly talk about past-events and criticize those that tried to save the lives of the many over the life of a cunt!
20
I feel sorry for Guardian Hater… A long standing and respected cunter from many a year ago and yet has fallen into the trap set by the liberals, PC brigade and cunts. It can happen to the best of us, when we are constantly bombarded by The Gay, PC cunts, SJW and cunts one can let their guard down and end up in a pile of cunt.
I was thinking abaaaht being happy and love the other day and even considered The Gay might genuinely love eachother…I then realised I was being mentally ill and normal hatred and despising resumed and I felt normal.
Keep your guard up cunters…we are the last line of defence in this world.
30
It was a moment of madness which led to an ill-considered decision which I now bitterly regret. Although I have drawn a line under this incident I would ask the press to respect my family’s privacy at this difficult time.
28
Totally understandable GH, I think a few weeks reflecting with a bottle of vodka a day will help you out.
10
I had to use BBC iplayer the other day to watch a missed episode of ‘Giri/Haji’ and still feel like I need a shower.
4
Lord Justice Cocklecarrot forgives you totally.
And advises you to watch a shedload of Michael Caine films.
Just consider yourself lucky that Emma Twatson wasn’t in it as well. Da wimmin what look like Emma Thompson should be painlessly destroyed (the painless bit is the Christmassy HBH).
11
Nope, there’s no defence for seeing this film, Emma Thompson’s involvement was a red flag that this would be ‘woke’.
You’ve put money in her pocket to produce more of the same.
You’re cunting is justified but you really should of known better.
I just hope you recover in time to enjoy Christmas.
13
Hopefully this stinker will bomb at the box office, just like the woke Ghostbusters and woke Charlies Angels did!
Then perhaps the studios will come to realise rebooting classics into social justice shitfests really isn’t a good idea any more!
21
Fingers crossed, the message may be getting across (ask Gillette). New Terminator bombed too cos it’s all wimminz lib as well
8
“I’ll be back! – As a non-binary, gender neutral LGBTQ friendly killer cyborg”.
11
“Get too dah safe space!!”
9
Sadly Techo, reports indicate that the film’s packing them in. I was hoping it would flush down the pan.
5
If Emma Fucking Thompson is behind it then it must be an utter pile of shite. That woman deserves to be put in the stocks at Tyburn and have soggy wet cake stuffed down her gullet until she chokes, bitch.
Apologies if that’s a bit violent, but that woman makes me mad and epitomises the worst o type of luvvie elitist Libtard moron.
13
I would say the violence is tempered by the fact you’re giving her cake.
5
What a waste of cake , I love cake, if she is so keen to fly the red flag on behalf of the working class I suggest traditional fayre such as jellied eels and tripe see how that goes down daaaahling
2
I will be going to see this masterpiece as soon as I have finished my Labour Party leafletting.
18
This is a true story.Last week I was in Hampstead having this conversation with a friend in the street. And just as I loadly said “Emma Thompson is a cunt” who should walk past. Emma cunting Thompson. One of the best moments of my life. She didn’t look very amused.
25
Class!
Old trout deserves to have that silly, simpering expression wiped off her face, preferably with an orbital sander.
9
It sounds perfect.
Is the dvd out yet?
7
I seen the trailer, that was enough. My idea of pure fucking HELL. I never thought that anyone would make a film that was shittier and cuntier than Mama Mia. Looks like I was wrong. I’ve never seen Mama Mia, just clips, but what I saw made me want to be in the film. With a machine gun.
16
Pay money to sit in a draughty room that stinks of popcorn watching two hours of shit whilst listening to a Wham! soundtrack.
Sorry old chap, I’m busy.
15
Will make sure I go and see this utter pile of shit when I have finished reading another one of Labours (total cunts) smoking gun leaked documents , yawn yawn .
8
“Christmas film of the decade!” Scream the billboards. “Biggest load of fucking cunt!” Scream I.
Fuck off!
11
I’d rather be tortured for 2 hours than sit through that shite!
Hopefully Emma Thompson learn her lesson about making crap movies and just stick to polluting the environment in future…
12
I’m surprised any cunt who posts on here would get mugged into watching this obvious shower of shite!!
It’s funny that in the age of clearly labelling everything from the calories in your sandwich to what age group a film is recommended for that there’s no warning on a fucking cheese fest like this
So…
🧀 – this film may cause mild nausea
🧀🧀- this film may cause extreme nausea and bouts of vomiting
🧀🧀🧀 this film may cause coronary artery disease
🧀🧀🧀🧀 Recommend viewing for soft cocks and emotionally unstable spastics
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🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀 this film was made by an extinction rebellion supporter and will turn you into a cunt.
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🧀 🧀 🧀 🧀 🧀 🧀 – starring Olivia Coleman
15
Emma fucking Thompson is the worst kind of champagne socialist libtard hypocrite whorebitch. She should have her posh arse kicked from one end of Islington to the other and then forced to lick the Flabbott’s dirty stink hole. Slag.
16
Remember when Emma cunt Thompson adopted a young black boy from Africa very commendable, if you like that sort of thing. Anyway years later young N’golo or Sadio ( can’t remember his name) went to Exeter university and she mentioned Exeter as being a bit too white. Fancy that ! a lot of white English people in an English city ? shades of the sneering cunt Jon Snow with his I’ve never seen so many white people remark . These fuckers really loathe this country . Cunting cunts.
20
Why didn’t she send the fucker to Nairobi then? And gone with him?
10
I will never pay to see anything involving Queen Luvvie ET and I’m absolutely sick to the back teeth of the industry she’s in.
10
Last Christmas I tongued you arse, but the very next day, you were a shite lay,
This year, to stop me from tear, I’m gonna go fuck a prossie…
I’m getting into the festive spirit… Go fuck yourselves 😁
15
I can hear the chime bells now.
Brought a tear to my eyes, all three of them!
6
After Emilia Clarke packed in getting them “oot foh tha’ boys like!” in Game of Thrones I gave up any interest in anything she was in thereafter.
I saw her in some pile of wank terminator rehash and then in the “Solo” Star Wars spin off and she plays the same insipid part every time. Emilia your talent is your chebs luv, and you better start using them while they’re still holding their own, spaniel’s ears just don’t sell. 😁
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The formulaic sh!te that is a Curtis-esque film leaves me cold. Knotting Hill, Love Actually and latterly the pile of wank called Yesterday and now this cunt-fest by the luvvie in-crowd bint is the same shite but now with value added diversity and inclusivity bullshit.
They target heartstrings of your Poppy (and their cucked) Tristram types who like to feel good about themselves for being “on message” with all of the “woke” narrative therein.
Hopefully they don’t stray too far from Leicester Square after feeling all gushy (having watched this pap) otherwise the right-on diversity quota may just catch up with them in the form of an acid attack, stabbing or mugging!
I’m waiting for the diversity rich “Hate Actually” film to come out. It’s about ordinary folk going about their business who are systematically mugged, shot, stabbed, etc., by the local Somali, Nigerian and Parking Stanley “peaceful” community.
The film ends with several defiant candle-lit vigils and tweets of hope, love and tolerance (of all things non-British). That’ll show them!
Oh, and it’s not a work of fiction, it’s a documentary!
Cunts!
14
Emilia Clarke had great tits in GoT, and as such is thoroughly deserving of a nice wet tongue up her arsehole!
5
I hope Guardian reader showed his disappointment and left a nice Turd on the seat…ready for the next viewing.
6
Hater not reader.
3
Even the poster is particularly cunty
She’s thinking “ we’ve been on loads of dates is this muppet ever gonna try fucking smashing my back doorstep in”
Not realising that her new” boyfriend “
Rupert is an obvious nine Bob note who is actually trying to fuck her younger brother ( the slippery cunt)
13
Doors in 😡😡😡😡
5
Great review!
I wont be watching that, regarding “The lead character is a Yugoslav immigrant who we are told likes Wham!/George Michael,”.
Having knocked round there for some time I am occasionally introduced to them,
So far two Serbs, both in hiding one for desertion and the other for war crimes, then strangely enough a small group of Croats that were on witness protection after statements to the Hague.
All of whom I have brushed off and avoided after first contact, Ireland is a very popular place for them to go to as they feel “Safe” there (Croats) and Australia has a large population too, when I find one knocking around as a solitary figure My suspicions tend to arise.
11
The missus dragged me along to the previous pile of shite La Thommo was in. It was called ‘Late Night’, about an ageing chat show host whose ratings are plummeting, and she needs to shake things up to avoid the sack.
You can probably guess the rest. Every white is male, pale and stale. By the end, everything’s great, cos we’ve got a diverse,rainbow community running things. It was more than clunky. The ‘message’ was about as subtle in its delivery as being run over by a bin lorry.
I moaned like fuck to the wife about persuading me to go, and to be fair, she said it was a waste of cash. ‘Fucking pile of shit’ were her exact words.
Thompson used to be alright, a funny and engaging woman, but of late she’s turned into a right cunt.
11
Your missus owes you bigly. Either she sits through all three Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Westerns or it’s festive BJs for the Twelve Days of Christmas.
Afternoon Ron.
12
Thompson’s always been a cunt even from my first encounter of her in The Young Ones: “My Daddy bought me a Porsche but it’s not an automatic!” – it was along those lines (no doubt on CuntTube somewhere).
That is the *real* Emma Thompson in that skit of University Challenge (going up against Mayall, Edmondson, Planer, et. al.): a privileged, toffee nosed cunt who now acts like she gives a fuck about the proles!
She’s about as real as Katie Price’s tits and as deep as a cup of tea!
Cunt!
13
She’s done a mock weather forecast outside the BBC. Here’s just a snippet-
“Better wrap up warm, stockpile food and remember there is a surprising amount of food in the average household pet’.
How hysterical is that?
5
“Rah rah rah! We’re going to smash the oiks…”
2
“I’ve got a Porsche!!”
1
I think the (American) Rolling Stone (yes, I’m surprised too) review summed it up *perfectly*. Let me quote…
“Last Christmas is bad. Incredibly, shockingly, monumentally bad. The kind of bad that falls somewhere between finding a lump of coal in your stocking and discovering one painfully lodged in your rectum. The kind of bad that you get when you bring together people of enormous talent and then are forced to watch them flail around, lost and flop-sweat desperate, attempting to make a romantic comedy that is mind-bogglingly short of both elements. The kind of bad where you might literally hear the tolerance messaging — same-sex unions, homelessness, anti-immigrant prejudice, Brexit — being ticked off a checklist were it not drowned out by the sound of everyone patting themselves on the back”
24
Any film about christmas, you just know it’s going to be a pile of family moron shit. If I won Euromillions I’d hire a film crew to make an anti-christmas epic in the hope of offending as many people as possible.
8
Afternoon Cap’n.
Oh I’m sure I’ll think of some way that she can pay me back. I’ll get her to wear my Villa shirt later…
Regarding that twat Thompson, I see that she’s been shouting off again, this time at another stunt staged by those cunts Extinction Rebellion. Christ, I wish shewould just fuck off back to Califlakia with the rest of the airheads.
10
Maybe “Christmas” in the title might encourage some inbred, medievalist, psychotic slime terrorist to visit a multiplex…
4