Anyone who uses this feature for anything, in any capacity, is a grade A, Category 1, attention-seeking cunt in my opinion, and should have their access to the Internet revoked.
Exhibit A: “I need a reputable painter and decorator, a builder and a carpenter for the extension we’re having. I’ve already found the cunt who will do the work from Google, but I want my entire friends list to know that I’m having an extension so they can see how much better my life is than theirs.”
Exhibit B:”My snot-nosed, baked bean stained brat of a child has a cold, along with ADHD and autism. I know that Calpol will help with his throat, but I need the world to know that I am a single parent looking after a child with (self-diagnosed) ADHD and autism. I don’t want people to think my child is purely just a cunt at school because of his daddy issues.”
Exhibit C:”Any recommendations on where I can buy a USB cable that plugs into my phone, mines broken?” Translates to: ” I’m a skint/tight (highlight applicable) cunt who doesn’t want to buy one from Poundland, but doesn’t want to directly ask for one as not to look cheap, so can I have one of yours please?”
So paradoxical I know, but I wish someone could recommend the best course of action for these attention-seeking, life-sapping cunts who could easily just use Google.
Nominated by NumberwangCunt
I get similar global e-mails.
we have been awarded a long term contract to provide x with the following equipment. can anyone help source the equipment?
great you have tendered for something you can’t do, with something you don’t have, without any idea of your own costs.
then pop it in an email to appx 800 people to say how clever you are.
4
I dumped wankbook years ago purely because of the rise of the self-centred cunts bigging themselves or their families purely for the sake of one-upmanship and brinkmanship in some cases.
it usually starts with some yummy-mummy spouting on her wankbook status with a “my baby did his first poo today! He is so clever!”
And then she waits for all the likes and positive comments to come swanning in.
Or
“I am in hospital right now …..” and the purposes let the comment hang like that because they know it will attract an immediate “flies-round-shit” response, that will only feed on the fragile desperate ego of sad cunts who want to be noticed.
Life is far too short for that mercenary shit!
6
Good work dropping Cuntbook. I almost signed on around 2010, but a genuinely good friend convinced me that there was no point if I’ve avoided it up until then. That was some of the wisest advice I’d received in my life…that and pretty much all “social” media is a glorified, fatberg-clogged sewer.
7
Check-ins are fucking so obvious, checked in at Gatwick airport, please, please someone ask me where I am going.
Sorry, so you are going on holiday but I don’t really give a fuck where you are going
Facebook is such bollocks, hundreds or even thousands of friends, most they have only met once or not even met at all and will never see again.
Steptoe and his tribe all over social media but the reason they lost the election was because the media where against him, so much for the power of social media, they seem to think that if something is clicked the halfwits who clicked it actually read it.
6
A typical desperate clutching at straws for Steptoe and his Momentum fuckwits – blame everything and everyone other than their own twattishness!
And as for blaming the media – absolute bollocks, especially since he had the BBC, MSM, The Guardian, The “Independent”, ITN, CNN, Mirror, Twitter etc, all on his side, while at the same time downplaying Boris and his cohorts.
5
Their interpretation of being against them is because they didn’t win, there has to be a reason because the left wing ideology cannot be wrong and the only reason the public rejected it is that they must have been brainwashed by the media.
A good cunting coming up (hopefully), it’s on the noms page today for Faiza Shaheen, a typical left wing democracy denier and first class cunt.
5
Exhibit D ‘I’m looking for power tools with which to torture such cunts. I’d like to start off small so a Dremell would be my first purchase.’
2
Yes, the kids ALWAYS have autism, ADHD or other similar imaginary bollocks don’t they? When I was at school it was pretty much understood that there were a proportion of kids that were just slow/thick/retarded etc., plus the spoilt little cunts that had never been said “no” to before and hence turned into rampaging priveleged little monsters. Now any and all behaviour is excused by “he’s on the spectrum, can I have my woke medal now please?” Much like gluten intolerance and all that imaginary wank, I somehow doubt “the spectrum” exists for the starving Marvins in say Ethiopia
10
It would be far quicker to just label anyone who uses Facebook as an attention seeking, egotistical, “look at me” Cunt…
Never been near it..
Never will..
5
There is a very simple solution…….. don’t use Facebook ever
6
Works for me!
6
I’ve never used any social media as I have no friends and the only family I have, my wife, lives in the same house. I really don’t give a flying fuck what anybody else does and anybody who even understands what this cunting even means is a cunt, so fucking nerrr.
2
I would love to post a comment here but jet lagged, sorry. I’ll come back when i’ve recovered from my jet lag. Sorry.
Oh….any creams you can recommend for sunburn?
6
Custard creams?
4
Ooooh yummy custard creams. Couldn’t get hold of any for the last 3 weeks. I’ll go and buy some when I get over my jet lag.
7
I’d love to know how the swirly design on the custard cream came about. Honestly.
P.s like, comment etc etc facefook 😀
1
Owen Jones would probably come all over you if you admitted you love Labour!
7
Repetitive self seeking update cunts too. “So I’ve just popped into Tesco on my mobility scooter for a couple of litres of own brand white cider, pickled onion Monster Munch and Frankfurters. Whilst in the booze aisle I had to beep my horn just to get passed some selfish cunt oblivious to my plight.”
I.e Jeremy fucking Kyle’s on and I’m a fat lazy cunt allergic to exercise.
I made that script up, but you know what I mean. Cunts.
4
O, u ok, hun, pm me.
Cunts.
We call the cunts, i-Phone positive. ‘Your pain’s gone, then’? Always handed over at ED.
2
I’ve never seen this feature because I’ve never been on Facebook. I’m sure I’m missing something wonderful. No not really.
2
Great cunting indeed. More than once, I’ve replied to these attention-seeking cunt’s moronic questions with “have you heard of Google?” which is usually ignored. Same as the cunts who take photos of what they’re watching on TV simply to show every cunt what size TV they have, or how their living room is decked out in B and M’s finest.
No one gives a fuck!!!
5
Some people watch this stuff intently. The same cunts that are lax about security settings and later wonder why their house has been burgled and said TV has vanished after posting that they’d be on holiday from blah to blah.
3