God, I’ve only had my two bottles of wine and am totally physically and emotionally wrecked.
I can hear the wind in the trees outside…as Tithonus I feel ‘at the quiet limit of the world’, not a soul stirring…I could be the only human alive….so desolate here in the night….these are the kind of thoughts/feelings I have hungover.
Beer Fear is right. Fear of what is going to happen to me, my end. Terrible fear. Not as bad as it was because in my younger days I would drink the next day to avoid it, then the next until I finally had to face it. They were the very worst. Now it’s getting late and I’ve got to endure horrible dreams of vicious dogs snarling in my face. Or trapped in a orgy of limbs from which I cannot escape. Like a film it is. Scene after scene. Till the morning.
Must be like DTs. But I’ve only had two bottles of 9% wine! I must be a delicate creature. And to think Mrs P drank the same plus two bottles of Lambrini and has been up and dancing about all day.
Nominated by Miles Plastic
Beer fear Miles? Sounds nasty.
The only fear I have is of running out.
I was introduced to beer and wine from a very young age.
As a baby and toddler I was bathed in cheap Australian lager….
It was only when I reached 28 that my parents admitted that I had been Fostered.
27
Haha, Dont pretend for a minute i understand this Miles!😀
No need to be scared of beer its our friend!
Its stood by our side for thousands of years!
Im deeply committed to it, and would never mistreat it or look at another.
Its to be valued and loved,
From its frothy head to its shapely amber body shes the one.
Long live Beer!!🍺
11
Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
Barman replies: “I cant serve you. Your bard”.
I’ll hold the taxi Blunty, I’m sure your not done yet. Miserable, that was beautiful, fuck the John Lewis Christmas tearjerker ads.
6
A bust of William Shakespeare is wheeled in the next day – the Landlord looks up and says “Get out, you still Bard”
I’ll get several coats..
6
I once shit myself after a night on the Guinness and Port….perhaps your problem is the same as mine…dare I fart?
Did Tithonus shite himself too? Although I must say I wasn’t at “the quiet limit of the world”…it was fucking noisy..sounded like someone emptying a five-gallon bucker of slops into a pig-pen,tbh….the grunting,wheezing,squelching…and the smell..fucking appalling.
You have good reason to have beer-fear.I now swallow two tablespoons of Portland cement before going out….no fear of a runny dump with that in you.
14
Evening Fiddler, that’s not why you were banned from the village pub is it, appalling unpleasantness in the gents?
6
It was a Frosty Jacks/ Stella snakebite night when I was barred,LL….and rum…a lot of rum. I can only remember vague parts..I do remember setting my chest hair alight and then,for some bizarre reason,my pubes….apparently it all went downhill after that. I refuse to believe the tales that I was told…I don’t think I’m fucking physically capable or even had the time to fit in everything that I was supposed to have done,
I still had my pants and shirt the next day and they were in a sanitary (by my standards) condition…they were also in a carrier-bag on the kitchen table…apparently I had insisted on being driven home clad only in my socks and tweed-cap…no idea where my fucking shoes went…that ill-tempered old bag of a landlady probably stole them.
17
Can I equal that Mr F?. Couldn’t get in the nightclub no jeans allowed.. So back home and the only pair I could find my mother’s old brown baggy slacks. So back down. Better say I was vain back then and had hairspay in my hair. So onto the dancefloor crazed look in my eyes and suddenly my hair alight!
Ah the memories…
7
It is a Guinness thing Monsieur Fox fiddler.. very searching.
I stick to real ale, all probiotic, although it has to be said, “ never trust a fart over 50”
Glad to hear you dodged magic grandads land grab…
5
God i could murder a few beers now!
Cant because im working all week an big job on tomorrow!
Weekend im gonna line that landlords pockets that his strides fall down!
The true muse beer Miles!
Wont stand for it spoken badly about!
Sing my heart out Saturday night!
Treat the pub to my miserable medley,
Whether they like it or not.😀🍺🍻
6
I’d like one of those fucking “ beer Miles “ cards. Although I insist on my previous contribution to the cause to be retrospectively awarded grandads rights.
3
“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
Keep off the water Miles, is the only advice I can offer you.
4
Miles I use to run a bar. I learnt 2 things:
1)There is no wine under 13% that is any good.
2) Wine is coloured Red everything else is grape juice.
Stick to the above advice and you will be alright.
5
If I may add to your wisdom –
After the first dram no-one can tell the difference between a single malt and the bulk Red Hackle with which you substituted the next dram. Very profitable FACT.
1
Never afraid of another pint.
Practice always makes perfect.
Good health and good ale!
4
What an absolutely cracking nom Miles!
Fortunately I slipped the leash of the demon drink 12 years ago.
7
Me too Ruff! Don’t miss it in honesty
3
I certainly don’t miss the hangovers, depression and bad behaviour it inclined me toward on a daily basis.
I continued to imbibe cannabis afterwards, but cut even that out altogether 3 years ago.
Now it’s just the occasional diazepam (prescribed for my tinnitus!). And a heavy dose of soluble co-codamol about once a month or so to combat splitting headaches brought on by Brexit.
4
Augustus came and stabilised me with my father’s pain
Relieving drug, diazepam
Life floats away.
Lyrics from alt-J
I would think diazepam is a bit overkill. I’ve had bad tinnitus for many years. Why don’t you try over the counter anti-histamines which I find help.
Have you tried CBD(cannabis oil) which is supposed to help many?
4
Thanks Bertie. TBH, I spent years obsessing over researching cures or relief for my tinnitus, including those you mentioned, and more. Came to the conclusion there is no cure, you just have to learn how to live with it, which I am now mercifully able to do.
The diazepam has zero effect on the tinnitus, but I find it helpful occasionally when my anxiety starts simmering, prevents it boiling over, maybe 5mg every 3 weeks or so, which is nothing, and am well aware of its addictive quality… have become a bit of an expert on addiction over the past 50 years, tabs, alcohol etc.
Never associated it with pain relief however.
4
I sympathise Ruff. I have Tinitus and it drives me mad . Mine was caused when I saw King Crimson back in 1971 at Brighton Dome. Fuck me those Mellotron’s were loud.
4
Evening Fenton.
Mine was caused by forty years of steady aural abuse, culminating in a booze /drug fuelled night with Faust and Mahvishnu Orchestra turned up to 11 on the headphones. Went to sleep with what sounded like a jet aircraft taking off in my ears! Usually I’d be back to normal in the morning, but not this time….
Compounded the problem the following day drilling a hole in concrete, noise of the drill screaming in my unprotected ears for over half an hour.
Speaking of King Crimson, I remember going to see the Pretty Things in the mid ’70s, circa Silk Torpedo… they blew a hole in my right eardrum, the cunts!
4
It’s half the battle if you can come to terms and live with it. I can trace mine back to my teens after a course of antibiotics so it can be many things other than loud noises.
Unfortunately, some people who can’t come to terms with it often take their own lives if they can’t manage it. It just becomes that unbearable.
4
Quite so….
4
PS: The forty+ years of aural abuse was worth every minute!
3
I’ve got a bit of tinnitus. Too may Nine Inch Nails gigs back in the day!
1
The threat of a return is always there. The demons run at this time of year!
mUahahaha!
5
I enjoy a drink, just not so much and not as often. Age is catching up with me. Women in their 20’s seem like young girls, I have started to enjoy an early night and alcohol isn’t the draw it once was.
4
Hangover guilt, sometimes known as the “beer fear,” is something many experience after a night of too much drinking. When you wake up with a sore head and a foggy memory, you can quickly jump to feeling anxious about what happened the night before’
Oh yes, that’s the start of it. Did I really kiss my uncle on the forehead? Did I try to move in on my nephew’s girlfriend? What have I done? Unendurable hours ahead analysing every last detail of the night before.
But that was the past when I used to go out and would drink 7 or 8 pints of John Smith’s. Now I inprison myself in the house, make sure I eat, 2 bottles of 9% wine and I still suffer inexpressively. I think I maybe have a melancholic personality. Why doesn’t happy memory ever return to me? Surely I have happy memories somewhere in the my mind…No, always bad memories which I relive as though a PTSD experience. That feeling of desolation, like a nuclear winter outside…But I will have my two hour drinking session listening to Alex Harvey or I will go mad. I must have a release. Even though I know there is a terrible price to pay.
7
Is that 2 bottles in a night? That’s going some. I only have about 3/4 bottle and I thought that was too much!
4
That’s all Bertie. Two bottles of Echo Falls 9% peaches flavour. As I said a thousand permutations trial and error with cider, beer this I’d the best I can come up with. And it is a better than what it was. I carefully take two hours over it. Every 3 weeks, that’s as all. Mrs P has a huge session every week.
I think that’s what I resent. Because I like being drunk. And would like to every week. But I can’t face the hangover.
And there is that other point as well the more time there is between sessions the harder the hangover is when it comes round.
You have given it up for health reasons?
3
No! I say 3/4 of a bottle but that’s most nights!
My health is not that good so I’d rather go out of the world feeling quite numbed.
You sound as though you were a bit of a lad in your day!
I can only recall one time when I was really pissed out of my head. My mate stopped at the side of the road for me to throw up. In doing so, my glasses fell down a grid. Fuck, I couldn’t even retrieve them with my fishing rod the next day!
5
Sorry Bertie misunderstood. 3/4 of a bottle doesn’t sound too much.
The cheap wine, the drinking to get drunk rather than enjoy it is revealing of my background. Yes ‘bit of a lad’. Have slept in a hedge many times.
4
My average, when I was drinking, was eqivilent of two 12% bottles of wine a day. Alternating with lager.
Got out of hand, tried to cut down, that didn’t work, eventually had to stop. Rarely felt better than I do today.
4
Ffs man up. I have responsible job and average 6 pints a night. Miles don’t be a two can Dan just get battered in.
Come on ditch the wine I can drink ten pints then have a glass of wine and that’s all I can taste the next morning the vino.
5
It really is a pathetic revelation I know. 2 bottles of fucking wine. And am freaked out for the next few days. But its true.
2
Used to like Jaigermeister chasers,
But not done them for awhile.
My lad likes absinthe when he goes out, the poets like that didnt they Miles?
Starting off with mead saturday night, the place is called ‘vinabòd’… A viking themed bar!!
5
Yeah Miserable you appreciate art, music, poetry more intensely when drunk. Always liked to get pissed in the afternoon in the pub with a book of poetry in my hand.
3
Went in the oldest pub in England ‘ye olde trip to Jerusalem’ in Nottingham, where they used to have a swift one before going on crusades,
To slay the moors.
And went in a pub in York ‘golden fleece’ and they had a real human skull in a box.
Love a proper pub, shame they’ve been made a endangered species.
5
Remember Miserable, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder! The pre- Raphaelites got off their heads on that.
3
The old “green fairie” eh…. reputedly the drink of choice of Hemingway, Wilde, Joyce and others. I bought a bottle back from Czechoslovakia years and years ago in my drinking days, fucking evil stuff that was
3
My lad seems to like it, not tried it myself Cuntan.
Know its what Baudelaire etc used to drink.
Worst hangover i had, was off tequila at a function, they did a challenge how many you could do, bit irresponsible really!
Anyway I won it.
Next morning, Fuck me like someone hit me between the eyes with a axe!
Thought itd passed an it hit me again!
Dont touch that shite anymore learnt my lesson.
4
Now your talking Miserable, haven’t touched tequila since my 18th. I have seen Black Cock Whiskey in Thailand, very popular in the Republic of Bumholia.
2
Not that nice really MNC, the stuff you get here is nothing like that green fucking jet fuel they have in the Easty Euro countries. Didn’t make me hallucinate though!! (Only thing that’s ever made me do that was a massive space cookie I brought back from Amsterdam a few years ago, mrs and I underestimated how strong it was and scoffed the lot… fuck me!! That crappy film Hot Tub Time Machine was on the telly when I started tripping bollocks, I thought John Cusack’s head was swelling up and was going to swallow me)
3
I had a massive ‘whitey’ in Amsterdam, that helped me decide to fuck cannabis off, had been a few times an knew my way round but was that stoned got lost at night, split up from my mates, out my head,
Truly hellish, best things i ever did, dropping the weed then dropping tobacco.
4
Yeah I was never a big smoker but glad to get rid of it anyway. I’m boring as fuck these days, no drugs no drink; only the hate for my fellow man sees me through
5
Hates better than drugs anyway,
Keeps you young!
I only really have a drink at weekends due ti work and sometimes not then.
Depends how busy i am.
But at Christmas? Like being a young lad again!
Missus miserable doesn’t drink, never smoked, rarely swears!
2
Lady Creampuff likes to get stuck into her Croft Original around this time of year.
No, that’s not a euphemism, you durty cunts!
4
Drink to forget.
But don’t forget to drink.
6
I only get drunk once a day. Unless, that is, I have a siesta.
I dont trust anyone who does not drink alcohol.
4
You’re absolutely right Cuntflap. Cheap wine is false economy. Just pay a few quid more and your tolerance levels increase. The crap wine needs more additives which will fuck you up.
2
Will take your advice Cuntflap and try a .more expensive on at Christmas. Have always drunk cheap stuff so maybe it could be that.
2
Get some Rioja Reserva up you. Fucking marvellous.
2
Just had another cracking Irish coffee. If you are ever in the borough of lewishamstabistan go to the Sutton radio pub. Cracking music talking heads etc.
2
I always sleep on my side and wake up with a hangover every morning.
One of the problems that come with having a huge cock….
6
………up your arse. It’s called “Owen Jones Syndrome.”
6
…..he’d never get past the piles…..
4
I am not a frequent drinker, but I regularly have a little ‘treat’ late Saturday night when watching a decent film or docoomentary.
My poison of choice at present is Aspalls Premier Cru, Weston’s Vintage or a few rounds of Courvoisier VSOP, accompanied by some smoked nuts. I wake up on Sunday with a clear head accept for when I drink the Weston’s.
2
Don’t sit in front of the fire in your pants Paul, no smoked nuts that way!!
I’ll get me coat
2
Perish the thought!
The smoked nuts are Asda Extra Special. Almonds, cashews and macadamia nuts, hickory smoked. Perfect with the above beverages, but not cheap at £3 for a smallish bag.
1
I know the very ones… lovely as you say, only problem being I could finish a bag off in in go
2
When I was a child, I thought eating wine gums made me drunk. “Oh no I dunno if I can manage another claret (hic)” even though it was an orange coloured diamond shape sweety.
4
Remember those candy fags spoons?? White sticks that came in a box like proper cigs – you’d never see those on the shelves now!! Hanging one off your lip to look hard like Clint Eastwood chewing a cheroot. Libtards would have a meltdown
6
Or liquorice pipes!
Or remember those novelty plastic ‘smoking monkeys’?
Hehee
Snowflakes today would have a meltdown!!
Remember my dad showing me the ‘dead japs finger’
Matchbox with hole underneath his finger covered in ketchup😀
Thought it was the funniest trick ever when i was 7yr!
Obviously now i realise it was racially insensitive and have reported him.
6
Best way MNC, he can now spend the rest of his days in a cultural re-education detainment centre reflecting on his evil colonial behaviour. For shame.
3
I remember having a can of shandy bass, wine gums and sweety cigarettes. Those were the days.
Those candy watches were ace.
2
I quite liked the coconut tobacco, liquorice pipes and also the larger sweet cigarettes (chewy and wrapped in an imitation cigarette paper wrapper with filter).
It’s a Knockout sweet lollies too.
Halcyon days indeed.
4
There’s a shop in Greenwich where you can buy all that stuff, sweeties in big jars, weighed by the quarter, love hearts, coconut ice , everything from the old days. Fuck knows where they get it from.
Be aware, you will end up buying far more than you can stuff down your throat so you will end up giving most of it away.
3
Don’t think I’ve ever experienced Beer Fear.
Lack Of Beer Fear,maybe… 😦
1
The trick is to keep yourself ‘topped up’ so you don’t have to go through the no beer horrors..
Unfortunately I couldn’t get to the offy a few months ago because of all those extinction rebellion cunts blocking the roads that my taxi uses to get me there and I had to forgo a simlilar experience of sobriety. Real horror show it was, I wouldn’t recommend it and you have my sympathy.
Had a few crates delivered after that experience as a back up against future lefty toff protests and cabby strikes..
3
Two bottles of wine and you´re surprised you´re pissed! I can take about a third of a bottle and even then I have to eat something. I love the French habit of eating cheese and drinking wine at the end of a meal, especially when you´ve reached the end of the bottle and there´s still a bit of cheese left over. So you then open another bouteille and when the cheese runs out you open another Brie. As infinitum. After all that you have an armagnac or cognac. Cést la vie!
3
That’s the way to do it. What I should have cunted is the tradition of ‘getting pissed’ in these islands. Doing the whole in one go. At the weekend. Instead of moderately throughout the week.
0
Man the fuck up you lightweight cunt.
5
If it’s having that effect, cut it out completely. Doesn’t sound as if half measures will work. It may be due to congeners (regardless of the quality of the wine). Red wine is favourite for triggering migraine in some sufferers, so there’s certainly a brain effect. Try vodka and water only for a trial period, and if that doesn’t work, go on the wagon/ develop a hobnailed liver regardless. I would strongly recommend cannabis for enjoying music, but the skunk you get today is like a cosh to the temporal lobes. and decent resin is hard to find. Allegedly.
2
One of my online friends says he won’t drink beer because it has some estrogens in it and you can grow man boobs.
Tough titty who gives a fuck? And if I grow big moobs drinking it then so be it I could use a firm pair lol Same friend will buy red wine causes ‘its good for your heart’ Not if you drink 2 bottles of it a week it isn’t you silly cunt
4
The odd glass of chablis is okay, but real wine is red and heavy or dense, I mean chateau neuf that kind of thing. After far too many misadventures then nowadays I would strive never to open a second bottle, and never bother with weak wine or white wine.
As a young man about town, oh what fun it was to rip through 8 or 10 (or 15) pints of Strongbow, or Stella, or Guinness, and still have lead in your pencil to fuck a tart, and do it all again the next night.
Nowadays I have learned the ways of moderation, what a fucking terrible word that moderation is.
0
9%? Stop being such a hom and switch to some 14.5% stuff.
After two bottles, you’ll be so wankered that you won’t give a fuck.
Works for me, anyway……..
2