Victoria’s Secret

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(Cribbed from the BBC for context)
`Lingerie brand Victoria’s Secret has cancelled its annual fashion show amid dwindling television ratings and rising criticism of the event.

The show launched in 1995 and was once a major pop culture event, drawing millions of viewers each year. Last year it had its lowest ratings ever and drew criticism that it was sexist, outdated and lacked diversity. The brand’s parent company L Brands said it was important to “evolve” its marketing strategy.

“We’re figuring out how to advance the positioning of the brand and best communicate that to customers,” Stuart Burgdoerfer, L Brands chief financial officer, told investors on an earnings call.

Nevertheless, he said the shows were “an important aspect of the brand and a remarkable marketing achievement”….’

What an utterly confused bunch of cunts. Let’s sell skimpy undies to women, so they can feel sexually attractive and/or ply their troth in the boudoir, while at the same time wringing our sweaty palms because we feel so guilty about putting on an annual super snatch fest to sell aforementioned skimpy undies that serve no real purpose other than providing visual stimulation to excite a sexual response. For Fucks Fucking Sake .. the snake is eating it’s tail on this one.

I have a suggestion L Brands/ Victoria’s Secret, next season produce a range of full body baggy dungarees in battleship grey to be woke and or ironic depending on which segment of societies arse you’re trying lick. Cunt’s to a man or woman….

Oops my bad, or non-identifying individual.

Nominated by GGRF

53 thoughts on “Victoria’s Secret”

  1. I have to say, my observation from going to the shithole that is Westfield is that all the really fat and ugly women have Victoria Secret bags.

    • I’m assuming that Westfield Stratford LC?
      Check aaaaht Westfield London (Shepherds Bush) for a finer quality of lady. 😁

  2. Victoria Secret 2020 fashion show, featuring a load of one-legged 25 stone Pakistani lesbian boilers and limp-wristed blokes in stocking and suspenders. Everybody happy!
    Apart from the red-blooded males who would spend a fortune buying the gear for their wimminz. What a boob (pun intended).

  3. Damn right theyre lacking in diversity!
    Should be ashamed!!
    Wheres the ladies in fishnet hijabs eh?
    Wheres the lady in a wheelchair with stockings on her stumps?
    The 6ft 5in tranny with one knacker hanging out his silky knickers?
    They need to get with it!
    Sexists!
    To be honest women dont need all that shite to get a man worked up,
    When im hiding in the bushes in my balaclava just the sight of a pair of high heels triggers me!
    Yours truly weirside Jack.

    • I have told you before Miserable, if Fiddler catches you lurking on the estate in the hope of seducing Fanny, he will be after you with the dogs and the 12 bore.

      • Thats part of the excitement LL!
        The adrenaline flows when you know at any moment your arse can be peppered with salt pellets and a snarling dog ripping your jeans off!
        Lot of Romanian types work on his land, but they tend to go back in the cellar when it gets dark.

      • A lot like when Compo snared Flabbott in the 70’s with a noose trap and a plate of chicken nuggets.

    • Ataturk got rid of the veil by making it compulsory for prostitutes. Clever chap that young Turk. Fishnet hijabs should be compulsory for every female labour politician in muslim areas ( cunt Jiz phillips springs to mind) On pain of death.

      • Ataturk? Oh Thataturk!
        Yeah good idea, but probably a englishman who gave it him.
        All great ideas in history?
        ENGLISHMAN. 🇬🇧🇬🇧

      • He gave it his best shot. Erdogan is the sultan . The dividing up of of the middle east has nothing to do with European ” imperialism” They are simply Ottoman Empire provinces.

    • I wondered who left all the cig butts in my favourite hiding place!

      Now to avoid appearing misogynistic I will recite a rhyme guaranteed to get any ladies knickers off – “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got a knife – get in the van”!

  4. Freaks with no tits prancing around in wings isnt sexy. Only gay men like it. Its a con and the sooner we can get back to tits and arse the better.

  7. I went out with a woman some years ago who was all there in all the right places, bit of a psycho, but the hot ones usually are. One particular night in the bedroom she peeled of to reveal what can only be described as the biggest pair of knickers I’d ever seen, and I have seen more than my fair share. “Holy fuck” I exclaimed citing my disapproval, she gave me a mad eyed glare and confidently replied “They’re Victoria Secret’s you know!” I stood there a bit taken aback and said “Lucky I already know what’s in ’em, otherwise as far as I’m concerned it could remain a fucking secret”.

    Thankfully my ungentlemanly conduct didn’t quell our passion any, but Victoria and her old lady style apple catcher bloomers Secrets can do one!

    Fuck off!

    • Years ago when a young buck had a bird back after a night out,
      She had little black lacy knickers on,
      I ripped em right off being keen!
      She said “you stupid fucker!! Theyre dead expensive!”
      Went in a right mood!
      I thought i was being dead passionate.

      • All this talk of suspenders and stuff, underwear does nothing for me whatsoever. Having to remove it is just a waste of my time. I like skin. Smooth firm naked bodies, that’s what I need. And a pair of socks.

      • I have to disagree Allan…I love a woman in a fishnet bodysuit or classic suspenders and tights (with crotchless knickers). Although I’m equally happy with a woman wearing high heels only.
        Phwoar.

  10. While on a rugby tour we had a competition to see who could fuck the fattest Tusker. You had to produce the bloater’s knickers to prove her size and I thought that I’d blown my chance when it seemed that my conquest wasn’t wearing any “smalls”…she was. It was some thong thing that had disappeared into the rolls of fat… I can still picture her pulling the unfortunate garment down those meaty thighs.

    Victoria’s Secret?….more like Nellie the Elephant’s fucking tow-rope.

    • Best ride I ever had was on a fat lass.
      Like dipping little miserable in a velvet glove dripping honey 🍯…….

      Sorry ive Cüm.

      • I like a bit of meat on the bone but not real bloaters. I worked with a lad who was married to a huge lass. They had 4 kids,I could never work out how he managed it. The dirty Cunt even used to sit at bait-times reading some porn-mag full of huge women. He loved them,the fatter the better. Wouldn’t have cared but he was wiry as a racing whippet himself.

      • Ive only done that one, but not into skellington types, like good set of knockers ,bit of a shape, a woman!!!
        Had a mate who like you said dead skinny but always with massive bloater types, once when pissed he told me he was a ‘feeder’ kept em fat!! Hehe
        But lifes short, need to grab it an take a big fuckoff bite out of it an enjoy yerself!
        If you like em big? No problem!
        Have fun while yer upright!
        Long time dead eh?!

      • Well done MNC! How’d you pull her? Sid would have used the failsafe line “Ye doont sweat much fer a fat lass”.

      • She was the ex of that ‘feeder’ lad,
        If she hadnt the body of a bouncy castle she’d of been a stunner!
        Long thick black hair, nice face, etc
        Just couldnt walk past a chippy!
        I was bit pissed, split up with a girl, an thought ‘why not?’
        Glad I did 3strokes, had a great time!
        Glad we were on piss an not in restraunt though! Only had £50 😁

      • Body of a bouncing castle! Is someone recording these thousands of excellent turns of phrase for a special ISAC book?

      • “Is someone recording these thousands of excellent turns of phrase for a special ISAC book?”

        As a matter of fact… have to admit to swiping and pasting the ones that have me ejecting Calsberg through my nose. Who can forget…

        “…fuck me you’re thicker than a mong’s neck!”

        or

        Ruff Tuff’s “…scabby green marrow.”

        then Doris Scunt’s metaphysical conjecture that…

        “Some days there just isn’t enough vomit to go round.”

        As or J.R.’s repertoire… I’d put him up there with the likes of yer man Milton Jones, one of the few ‘circuit’ comedians who displays any genuine talent.

  11. Just when you thought the western world couldn’t get any more of a cunt . It’s ok though we’ll be able to ogle some fat slags, gay blades and Bruce Jenner next year the mutant cunt.

  12. When the wife put a ‘no junk mail’ sign on our letter box I appended ‘Victoria secret catalogues excepted’. It was the finest thing I’ve ever had shoved into my letterbox. Every 12 issues I’d Have them leather bound for the smoking room.

  13. I like a Kelly Brook build. Some nice pics of her in yesterday’s Sun. Definitely wank bank material.

    • Brunnettes! Oh shapely peice that kelly brook/tongue somewhere but not up there.down her fucking throat!

    • There are some pics of KB from a few years ago with her kit off, they’re in black-and-white so they’re “artistic”. Definitely an award-winning set of knockers. The old fudd looked surprisingly on the puffy/meaty side though, bit of a growler… lucky fucker Jason Statham must have near enough hammered it back to the stone age

  14. It’s the body, not the frilly dressing. The models all make it look sumptuous but they’re all properly proportioned. If you put a munter in it, she’d still be a munter.
    It’s cheap tat with frills.

  16. Who is Victoria and what is her secret? I hope it isn’t Victoria Beckham, and her secret is she is really Skeletor.

  18. I have only ever ONCE garbed up in saucy lingerie for my other half, in the form of lacy undies, stockings and suspenders (which trust me when I tell you, most women avoid at all costs as they are, quite frankly, fucking uncomfortable and a nightmare to put on in the first place) I did this as he kept blabbing on about liking stockings and high heels to get him “in the mood” as it were (I felt like saying “well feel free to go and get yourself some then, but I doubt they come in your size) but indulge him I did.

    To say it went down like a ton of radioactive shit was an understatement. The half-drunk fucker fell asleep on me, apologising that he was ‘tired after work’ but thanks anyway. He didn’t even look at the bastards!

    Never fucking again, miserable sod. That shit cost me a fucking fortune too!!

    They might not be sexy, but you cannot beat a plain old bra for the titty muldoons and a pair of midi briefs (halfway between standard sized knickers and granny knickers) to keep the old vag and arse comfy.

    Victoria can keep her bloody secret.

  19. Riding a fat girl is like riding a moped…

    It’s great fun until your mates find out.

  20. In this day and age where the bare-pissflapped minges of any number of birds named Victoria is accessible online and thus hardly a ‘secret’, what the fuck is the deal with lingerie still being a ‘thing’? It’s like the Carry Ons never finished. Yet another emblem of the enfeeblement of modern ‘man’.

  21. You have to feel sorry for these poor ladies forced at gunpoint to parade about on a stage in see through underwear.
    This type of modern day slavery has rightly been tackled when the VS owner found out!
    Now they can all claim benefits instead.
    Well done you daft cunts.

  22. How long before VS start building in a little extra gusset room for a big pair of trans bollocks?

    Won’t be long will it

    I fucking despair

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